Classic TAI: Put the Cookies Down. Step Away From the Cookies.
Friday's Think About It column, An iDiotic Lawsuit, has gotten quite a nice response, and when that happens, it often inspires me to dig out an old column with a similar topic to re-present to you guys. Here's one from just about a year ago, also about a case that never should have made it to court...
CLASSIC THINK ABOUT IT
February 12, 2005: Put the Cookies Down. Step Away From the Cookies.
As much as we all love baseball, friends, the time has come to face the fact that it’s no longer really our national past time. No, it has become completely superseded by two other past times that dominate the landscape of America: overreacting and outrageous abuses of our court system, and when you can put the two of those things together, heckaroonie, you’ve got a good old time.
This was proven recently out in Durango, Colo., where two teenage girls were recently sued, put on trial, and forced to pay the plaintiff $900 in medical expenses. Why? For the crime of -- get ready for it -- baking her cookies.
According to a recent article in the Denver Post, on July 31, 2004, Taylor Ostergaard and Lindsey Jo Zellitti decided to skip a school dance and bake cookies for their neighbors. After several hours of baking chocolate chip and sugar cookies and making pink and red hearts out of construction paper that read “Have a great night, love the T and L Club,” they went around the neighborhood leaving baskets of the cookies on their neighbor’s porches, ringing the doorbells and then leaving before their neighbors could open the door.
Now here is the only part of the story where one could make an argument that the girls showed poor judgment: by the time they finished making the cookies and notes, it was 9 p.m., perhaps a bit late to begin making their rounds. However, they only went to houses where the lights were still on, assuming that people there were home and awake. They also assumed these people were rational, which was the biggest mistake on their part.
When they knocked on the door at Wanita Renea Young’s house at 10:30 p.m., she got nervous and called the police. Sheriff’s deputies quickly determined that no crime had been committed (although one imagines they had fun examining the evidence), but Young apparently sat up all night with anxiety attacks and then went to the hospital the next morning. There we can only assume that one of the many trial lawyers that hide behind the potted plants of every hospital in America heard her story and came out brandishing his business card like an old west gunslinger, offering to make those nasty little girls pay for having the audacity to distribute pastries without a license.
The girls sent a written apology to Young. A half-dozen other neighbors made statements on their behalf saying that they enjoyed the cookies. But Young evidently felt the fear that there were burglars outside her home was justification to take these two teenage girls to court. (Incidentally, to all the burglars out there who have taken to leaving fresh-baked cookies and construction paper hearts on the doorsteps of your victims’ homes to allay suspicion: it’s not going to work anymore.)
After the trial, Young reportedly said, “I'm not gloating about it. I just hope the girls learned a lesson.” Yes, Mrs. Young, the girls most certainly have learned their lesson. If you try to do something nice and unexpected for somebody else, at least in Durango, Colo., be prepared to be dragged into court and humiliated for your troubles. It’s about time we started instilling this message in our children at a young age, don’t you think? That should put a stop to all those pesky random acts of kindness that have been plaguing our nation for so long.
Young, to be fair, is not the only person to blame in this case. You’ve also got to point the finger at Judge Doug Walker of La Plata County Small Claims Court. To his credit, he only awarded Young the $900 for her medical bills and nothing for her “pain and suffering.” (I could see this visit with her therapist now: “It’s horrible doctor, every time I close my eyes now I see giant chocolate chip cookies chasing after me, trying to dunk me in a ten-foot glass of milk!”)
But to even pay the woman’s medical expenses, to me, is outrageous, because barely a month into the year this woman is already the frontrunner in the award for Biggest Overreactor of 2005. She had to go to the hospital after staying up all night having “anxiety attacks.” Well good grief, whose fault was that? The girls may have riled her up in the first place, but once you’ve had the police to your house to investigate a situation like this (and although the article doesn’t specifically say this, one would imagine the police department was on-the-ball enough to detect the basket of cookies on her doorstep), if you can’t just calm down and relax, it’s your own bloody fault.
If there’s any solace in this, it’s that this woman is going to be persona non grata at the block parties now. You can imagine the small children saying, “Why is everybody frowning at that lady, Mommy?” and Mommy replying, “Because she’s the reason we’re not getting cookies anymore!”
Then again, maybe she just needs a little understanding. A little compassion. maybe the only thing Wanita Renea Young really needs to make things better is for someone to lend her a friendly ear and give her a big, warm hug.
If you decide to go by her house to do this, I recommend you do it in the afternoon. And don’t bring a dish, you might end up in handcuffs.
Blake M. Petit shouldn’t have written this column before lunch, because he really, really wants some cookies now.
CLASSIC THINK ABOUT IT
February 12, 2005: Put the Cookies Down. Step Away From the Cookies.
As much as we all love baseball, friends, the time has come to face the fact that it’s no longer really our national past time. No, it has become completely superseded by two other past times that dominate the landscape of America: overreacting and outrageous abuses of our court system, and when you can put the two of those things together, heckaroonie, you’ve got a good old time.
This was proven recently out in Durango, Colo., where two teenage girls were recently sued, put on trial, and forced to pay the plaintiff $900 in medical expenses. Why? For the crime of -- get ready for it -- baking her cookies.
According to a recent article in the Denver Post, on July 31, 2004, Taylor Ostergaard and Lindsey Jo Zellitti decided to skip a school dance and bake cookies for their neighbors. After several hours of baking chocolate chip and sugar cookies and making pink and red hearts out of construction paper that read “Have a great night, love the T and L Club,” they went around the neighborhood leaving baskets of the cookies on their neighbor’s porches, ringing the doorbells and then leaving before their neighbors could open the door.
Now here is the only part of the story where one could make an argument that the girls showed poor judgment: by the time they finished making the cookies and notes, it was 9 p.m., perhaps a bit late to begin making their rounds. However, they only went to houses where the lights were still on, assuming that people there were home and awake. They also assumed these people were rational, which was the biggest mistake on their part.
When they knocked on the door at Wanita Renea Young’s house at 10:30 p.m., she got nervous and called the police. Sheriff’s deputies quickly determined that no crime had been committed (although one imagines they had fun examining the evidence), but Young apparently sat up all night with anxiety attacks and then went to the hospital the next morning. There we can only assume that one of the many trial lawyers that hide behind the potted plants of every hospital in America heard her story and came out brandishing his business card like an old west gunslinger, offering to make those nasty little girls pay for having the audacity to distribute pastries without a license.
The girls sent a written apology to Young. A half-dozen other neighbors made statements on their behalf saying that they enjoyed the cookies. But Young evidently felt the fear that there were burglars outside her home was justification to take these two teenage girls to court. (Incidentally, to all the burglars out there who have taken to leaving fresh-baked cookies and construction paper hearts on the doorsteps of your victims’ homes to allay suspicion: it’s not going to work anymore.)
After the trial, Young reportedly said, “I'm not gloating about it. I just hope the girls learned a lesson.” Yes, Mrs. Young, the girls most certainly have learned their lesson. If you try to do something nice and unexpected for somebody else, at least in Durango, Colo., be prepared to be dragged into court and humiliated for your troubles. It’s about time we started instilling this message in our children at a young age, don’t you think? That should put a stop to all those pesky random acts of kindness that have been plaguing our nation for so long.
Young, to be fair, is not the only person to blame in this case. You’ve also got to point the finger at Judge Doug Walker of La Plata County Small Claims Court. To his credit, he only awarded Young the $900 for her medical bills and nothing for her “pain and suffering.” (I could see this visit with her therapist now: “It’s horrible doctor, every time I close my eyes now I see giant chocolate chip cookies chasing after me, trying to dunk me in a ten-foot glass of milk!”)
But to even pay the woman’s medical expenses, to me, is outrageous, because barely a month into the year this woman is already the frontrunner in the award for Biggest Overreactor of 2005. She had to go to the hospital after staying up all night having “anxiety attacks.” Well good grief, whose fault was that? The girls may have riled her up in the first place, but once you’ve had the police to your house to investigate a situation like this (and although the article doesn’t specifically say this, one would imagine the police department was on-the-ball enough to detect the basket of cookies on her doorstep), if you can’t just calm down and relax, it’s your own bloody fault.
If there’s any solace in this, it’s that this woman is going to be persona non grata at the block parties now. You can imagine the small children saying, “Why is everybody frowning at that lady, Mommy?” and Mommy replying, “Because she’s the reason we’re not getting cookies anymore!”
Then again, maybe she just needs a little understanding. A little compassion. maybe the only thing Wanita Renea Young really needs to make things better is for someone to lend her a friendly ear and give her a big, warm hug.
If you decide to go by her house to do this, I recommend you do it in the afternoon. And don’t bring a dish, you might end up in handcuffs.
Blake M. Petit shouldn’t have written this column before lunch, because he really, really wants some cookies now.