bleh, the day sucks
Well, i WASTED the day. oh joy, oh rapture. It is already nearly 9am and all i have done with my story is make a list of my main characters...which is sad becuase well...there are only 7 xP Two which the story focuses on primarily and the other 5 are the key characters in thier lives. xP BUT atleast every one has a name now. So yay, i guess. Not to mention i am so very tired. but i know if i go to sleep now i will sleep no less then 4 hours which would be an even BIGGER waste of the day...oh poo. I should just get up and clean the house. BUT thats no fun, though it does need to be done. I just, i dont know where to go...exactly. with the story. im no further then i was a week ago, which is sad. I wish there was a magical life guider thing that would tell you exactly what will spark the proper thoughts for writing or whatever your intrested in. I wish that i would stop procrastinating and just DO it...the worst part is though is im not -really- procrastinating at all...i just don't know where to go from here. i don't want to write it becuase i know it isn't ready. There are still so many questions that need to be answered...but how? WHAT am i suppose to do next? HOLY CRAP i think im having some sort of strange melt down. I mean, gosh! AND not to mention last night a nother idea popped into my head 0_0 one that has nothing to do with this plot what so ever...which is just exactly what i need. I have, like 5 plot ideas that aren't a part of this one which keeps springing into my head. i guess i could write all of them out which might just free up some room in my mind for the plot im -working- on...but then again that idea sounds like another form of procrastinaiton! i keep saying to every one who asks...that i am "ploting" i don't want to get "too far" "too quick" BUT how much of that is true? I mean, in retrospect what i have been doing is willing the damn thing to write itself in fear of ruining it. Becuase...what if i do something wrong and i get bored of it? ooor even worse, what if i get so far into it and realize something doesn't work for X reason and i have to start all over again?? i know im being silly, its just i have never plotted like this before and i think i am doing it -wrong- i know there is no set way to plot, but i don't know if this particular take on the situtation is working for me. Im so worried about what i might do wrong that im not doing anything at all. my brain doesn't know where to go next and i am so scared to write anything down in my notebooks becuase i don't want to waste the paper or confuse myself 0_0 maybe i need to take a break from even thinking about the plot...but then againnnnn i don't want to forget about it, or come back to it later and not know where i was going with it and give up on it entirely. maybe what i need to do is just trust myself and WRITE it. i mean, whats the harm?? i can always go back and change it if i want to. Although, thats a weakness of mine...having one thing go wrong and NOT being able to correct it...But then again, how much happier would i be? hum....I think that part of the reason i don't want to write it out just yet is becuase im not confident in my writing skills. I just don't think up the proper words when i want to...the imagry lacks and i just feel like its ramblings. I mean, i know it isn't...but it feels so simplistic and plain. Like unflavored popcorn...which sucks and sticks to your teeth 0_0 0_0 i have reduced my writing to a circus food and i am no closer to deciding on a course of action...ooooh this is a fine day.