Thinky thoughts about author vs audience perception
This post may not make much sense to you if you haven't been reading my fic Everyday Love in Stockholm, but if you don't intend to read it I'll whine until you do then you can probably still get something out of it, I think. That said, if you are reading it but you're not up-to-date (last night I posted parts 104 - 111. This thing is 71,000 words long now, and still going, JFC),
It's been really interesting reading all the comments as I've been posting this fic, not just because I love comments (and have been incredibly blessed to have so many lovely people who come back and comment on each update,) but because of the different viewpoints on everything that's happening within the fic and how people interpret the relationship between Erik and Charles.
As the writer, it's kind of fascinating to see the story from outside of my own 'vision', so to speak, and get other perspectives. For so long I've almost exclusively written original fiction, and it's been a very solitary pursuit, with only one or two people who know me very well reading it (and letting me talk about it at them enough that they know what I intended, rather than having free interpretation of it themselves.) So getting other people's unspoiled opinions is like getting a magic ticket to peer into other people's heads and see my own work from the outside for once. Which I totally love.
Well, most of the time. Sometimes people see things in a completely different way to how I thought they were, and the thing with fiction is that there is no one pure truth of how something is, because it's individual to every reader. There is no author's privilege to assert that 'this is how it is, and this is the only way it is and ever will be.' Which can be a tough pill to swallow, when you've spent so long agonising over word choice and tone and every minor detail, that all it takes is a different brain and everything is different. But it's also amazing! And fun, too, in a weird way, because like I said, this is Magic Ticket land, where I get to see how other people tick. Which is why I like writing. So it's win/win, really.
Stockholm is a really interesting story to write because it's exclusively from Erik's point of view, but in many ways he's the character least affected by the events of the story. There's a lot going on with the other characters as well, and there are a lot of different issues present that affect each character in a different way. As the writer - I don't know if other writers do this, but I know some actors do - I find that I have to get very deeply into the mindset and headspace of the POV character to write them as best I can, and to do that I have to agree with what they do and why they do it and how they do it, whether or not I would agree with them objectively. So the fact that Erik is effectively keeping Charles prisoner against his will - albeit for the best of reasons, to keep Charles alive and unhurt, because Erik loves him - is, objectively, very troublesome and morally questionable, especially after they start sleeping together. But from my perspective, which is really Erik's perspective, it seems like the only thing he could possibly do that is right, and the only good choice he has. Charles may not like it, but it's for his own good, and it's the only way to keep him from being killed.
Which is why it's kind of strange and unnerving at times for me when the readers are saying 'this is so messed up! Erik should let Charles go!' - which I know objectively is true, but is at odds with the mindset I've put myself into.
At the same time, it's interesting to note how some readers will comment and say 'I think this is the least messed up they've been' and others will say 'this is the update that made me really believe Charles has Stockholm Syndrome' - on the same update. Which just goes to show how not-objective and really subjective fiction is, I guess.
I hesitate to call the fic 'controversial', because heaven knows there's nothing new under the sun in fanfiction. It smacks of egotism, too, which is not my intention. But - difficult, maybe? I like to think that the thing that makes this fic different from other Stockholm-type fics and prisoner!fics is that in this fic neither Charles nor Erik is in the wrong, really. I don't see either of them as the bad guy; they're in a difficult situation, and while they're both working together and against one another both of them have good reasons for what they do and they do it with the best of intentions. They both want the other to be happy and safe.
So. Yeah. Basically the tl;dr summary of this post is 'what I'm writing is kinda messed up but I find it weirdly romantic. Your mileage may vary.'
It's been really interesting reading all the comments as I've been posting this fic, not just because I love comments (and have been incredibly blessed to have so many lovely people who come back and comment on each update,) but because of the different viewpoints on everything that's happening within the fic and how people interpret the relationship between Erik and Charles.
As the writer, it's kind of fascinating to see the story from outside of my own 'vision', so to speak, and get other perspectives. For so long I've almost exclusively written original fiction, and it's been a very solitary pursuit, with only one or two people who know me very well reading it (and letting me talk about it at them enough that they know what I intended, rather than having free interpretation of it themselves.) So getting other people's unspoiled opinions is like getting a magic ticket to peer into other people's heads and see my own work from the outside for once. Which I totally love.
Well, most of the time. Sometimes people see things in a completely different way to how I thought they were, and the thing with fiction is that there is no one pure truth of how something is, because it's individual to every reader. There is no author's privilege to assert that 'this is how it is, and this is the only way it is and ever will be.' Which can be a tough pill to swallow, when you've spent so long agonising over word choice and tone and every minor detail, that all it takes is a different brain and everything is different. But it's also amazing! And fun, too, in a weird way, because like I said, this is Magic Ticket land, where I get to see how other people tick. Which is why I like writing. So it's win/win, really.
Stockholm is a really interesting story to write because it's exclusively from Erik's point of view, but in many ways he's the character least affected by the events of the story. There's a lot going on with the other characters as well, and there are a lot of different issues present that affect each character in a different way. As the writer - I don't know if other writers do this, but I know some actors do - I find that I have to get very deeply into the mindset and headspace of the POV character to write them as best I can, and to do that I have to agree with what they do and why they do it and how they do it, whether or not I would agree with them objectively. So the fact that Erik is effectively keeping Charles prisoner against his will - albeit for the best of reasons, to keep Charles alive and unhurt, because Erik loves him - is, objectively, very troublesome and morally questionable, especially after they start sleeping together. But from my perspective, which is really Erik's perspective, it seems like the only thing he could possibly do that is right, and the only good choice he has. Charles may not like it, but it's for his own good, and it's the only way to keep him from being killed.
Which is why it's kind of strange and unnerving at times for me when the readers are saying 'this is so messed up! Erik should let Charles go!' - which I know objectively is true, but is at odds with the mindset I've put myself into.
At the same time, it's interesting to note how some readers will comment and say 'I think this is the least messed up they've been' and others will say 'this is the update that made me really believe Charles has Stockholm Syndrome' - on the same update. Which just goes to show how not-objective and really subjective fiction is, I guess.
I hesitate to call the fic 'controversial', because heaven knows there's nothing new under the sun in fanfiction. It smacks of egotism, too, which is not my intention. But - difficult, maybe? I like to think that the thing that makes this fic different from other Stockholm-type fics and prisoner!fics is that in this fic neither Charles nor Erik is in the wrong, really. I don't see either of them as the bad guy; they're in a difficult situation, and while they're both working together and against one another both of them have good reasons for what they do and they do it with the best of intentions. They both want the other to be happy and safe.
So. Yeah. Basically the tl;dr summary of this post is 'what I'm writing is kinda messed up but I find it weirdly romantic. Your mileage may vary.'