Rejection
So today is my 18th Birthday.
and its also the day I got rejected from princeton.
so thats quite a depressing fact.
its hard because I had started to plan out my life there. i had choosen where i wanted to have my dorm and pictured all of the fall days where I could stroll around campus and play laser tag at dillon gym. i loved the thought of studying in east pyne library and writing the 300 page senior thesis. i really thought i could do all that and that made me special. i guess the idealism was just too much to bear.
yet, i truly believe that everything happens for a reason. there is a reason i didnt get into princeton, and it must be a good one. perhaps it would have been too hard and i would have died under the pressure there. perhaps i would have been raped one late night in december, i guess ill never know.
i think it was more the name then anything else, i wanted to go to the best school in the nation just to spite the people i had grown up with and had always thought of me as lower then them. i need to learn how to let go of the 7th grade hierarchy, where i was the lowest and kids were more popular or more well liked then myself. i think i have carried that on my shoulders for way too long. i have always wanted to achieve something to make everyone else just be in awe. i thought princeton was that. but it isnt, its a fucking school, and no matter where i end up, i know ill be fine.
in fact, i just committed to brown. i really liked it there, and i think ill be happy. its closer to home, more laid back, and to be honest, im just naming all these things off just to make myself feel better. but you know, its true, i think i knew deep down that things would end up this way, but what are you going to do. there is nothing you can do. there is nothing i can do.
i need to remember that just because this happened doesnt make me any less of a person, or any more likely to fail at life. bob dole, as much as i dont want to end up like him, went to washburn municipal college, and he ended up running for president. life goes on, i will go on, and you know, everything is going to be okay.
and its also the day I got rejected from princeton.
so thats quite a depressing fact.
its hard because I had started to plan out my life there. i had choosen where i wanted to have my dorm and pictured all of the fall days where I could stroll around campus and play laser tag at dillon gym. i loved the thought of studying in east pyne library and writing the 300 page senior thesis. i really thought i could do all that and that made me special. i guess the idealism was just too much to bear.
yet, i truly believe that everything happens for a reason. there is a reason i didnt get into princeton, and it must be a good one. perhaps it would have been too hard and i would have died under the pressure there. perhaps i would have been raped one late night in december, i guess ill never know.
i think it was more the name then anything else, i wanted to go to the best school in the nation just to spite the people i had grown up with and had always thought of me as lower then them. i need to learn how to let go of the 7th grade hierarchy, where i was the lowest and kids were more popular or more well liked then myself. i think i have carried that on my shoulders for way too long. i have always wanted to achieve something to make everyone else just be in awe. i thought princeton was that. but it isnt, its a fucking school, and no matter where i end up, i know ill be fine.
in fact, i just committed to brown. i really liked it there, and i think ill be happy. its closer to home, more laid back, and to be honest, im just naming all these things off just to make myself feel better. but you know, its true, i think i knew deep down that things would end up this way, but what are you going to do. there is nothing you can do. there is nothing i can do.
i need to remember that just because this happened doesnt make me any less of a person, or any more likely to fail at life. bob dole, as much as i dont want to end up like him, went to washburn municipal college, and he ended up running for president. life goes on, i will go on, and you know, everything is going to be okay.