Code Name: Fox (Dear Diary)
[entry code: Dear Diary]
I wanna see him! Like...right now. It'd be nice. We have things to do - he doesn't have to stay here - but just like a few seconds would be...nice.
Nice. :)
He likes me. I don't know how much, and I normally don't even consider the question (and now I'm a tad worried that I have), but I know that I like that he likes me. And the little I know about him, well I like that too. And I want to know him more.
I worry about how difficult it'll be to KNOW more about him.
And on some other day, I may write an essay, an argument for both sides of the debate on how much I can really know about him. But right now, I just wanted to write that I like him, and I want to see him, and to capture that feeling I just got RIGHT after reading his text message.
His simple, 10-character sterile little text message, the same "good night" message he likes to send that's simply saying he's going to sleep (I think), the one that's just some habit and/or obligation...that still has me smile a little bit, up near the top of my chest.
Seriously, that's the location.
Its like, certain parts of me are physically affected by different emotions. When I'm sad, I feel it in my throat and (of course) my eyes. Meanwhile, with him, I feel it in different places of my chest...one part that has me want to grab onto him and squeeze him tight, and another that is both deep in my chest and "up."
Wow...you know, when I try to describe these sorts of things, it all comes out as a synesthesia of sorts.
He's Special. I dunno what it is we have, or how deep, and sometimes I worry about the decisions I'll have to make sometime, but right now I just worry about the moment. And the next moment...to keep this little experiment going as long as...as long as it should, I suppose.
'Aight, I'm running out of steam.
Perhaps next time I'll try for something else: "Let me paint you a little word-picture!" (if anyone knows where that quote originates from, please inform me). I was going to attempt that here, but, I could only think of random adjectives. Like, "Korean." :P
And the way he puts his hands to his eyes when he's embarrassed or playing-at embarrassed. His fists, all man-sized, still somehow look like a baby's, scrubbing the sleep from his eyes.
So this is my exercise of ...whatsit, stream-of-consciousness narrative, on Code Name: Fox.
Oh, and since we're talking about stuff, I'll give you some updates. During the lunar holiday/vacation, we went to a water-park and hotel for a few days, and then a Buddhist Temple. I gave him the other two bunny statues (I'd given him one as a late birthday present), and after our visit to the temple, he gave me a good-health charm. We almost had a fight (i.e. I almost yelled at him) at the beginning, but the trip was overall a huge success.
Though more expensive than planned.
I'm always tired, and its a problem when I see him.
I saw him this past weekend, and I'd seen him the weekend before. This weekend he visited me though, even though there's nothing in Jecheon really. We stayed in and watched movies, and cooked some beautiful food. It wasn't all perfect, but I enjoyed the processes and I'm quite happy with the visit. Now I just have to make sure not to do something stupid.
I THINK that's all I have to do. I am busy next weekend, so I won't see him for two weeks. That part really makes this kinda difficult...I suppose I could take a bus out after work on Saturday, or Sunday morning. Who says we can't just have a brunch-date? I can go two hours both ways for a brunch-date, can't I?
I wanna see him! Like...right now. It'd be nice. We have things to do - he doesn't have to stay here - but just like a few seconds would be...nice.
Nice. :)
He likes me. I don't know how much, and I normally don't even consider the question (and now I'm a tad worried that I have), but I know that I like that he likes me. And the little I know about him, well I like that too. And I want to know him more.
I worry about how difficult it'll be to KNOW more about him.
And on some other day, I may write an essay, an argument for both sides of the debate on how much I can really know about him. But right now, I just wanted to write that I like him, and I want to see him, and to capture that feeling I just got RIGHT after reading his text message.
His simple, 10-character sterile little text message, the same "good night" message he likes to send that's simply saying he's going to sleep (I think), the one that's just some habit and/or obligation...that still has me smile a little bit, up near the top of my chest.
Seriously, that's the location.
Its like, certain parts of me are physically affected by different emotions. When I'm sad, I feel it in my throat and (of course) my eyes. Meanwhile, with him, I feel it in different places of my chest...one part that has me want to grab onto him and squeeze him tight, and another that is both deep in my chest and "up."
Wow...you know, when I try to describe these sorts of things, it all comes out as a synesthesia of sorts.
He's Special. I dunno what it is we have, or how deep, and sometimes I worry about the decisions I'll have to make sometime, but right now I just worry about the moment. And the next moment...to keep this little experiment going as long as...as long as it should, I suppose.
'Aight, I'm running out of steam.
Perhaps next time I'll try for something else: "Let me paint you a little word-picture!" (if anyone knows where that quote originates from, please inform me). I was going to attempt that here, but, I could only think of random adjectives. Like, "Korean." :P
And the way he puts his hands to his eyes when he's embarrassed or playing-at embarrassed. His fists, all man-sized, still somehow look like a baby's, scrubbing the sleep from his eyes.
So this is my exercise of ...whatsit, stream-of-consciousness narrative, on Code Name: Fox.
Oh, and since we're talking about stuff, I'll give you some updates. During the lunar holiday/vacation, we went to a water-park and hotel for a few days, and then a Buddhist Temple. I gave him the other two bunny statues (I'd given him one as a late birthday present), and after our visit to the temple, he gave me a good-health charm. We almost had a fight (i.e. I almost yelled at him) at the beginning, but the trip was overall a huge success.
Though more expensive than planned.
I'm always tired, and its a problem when I see him.
I saw him this past weekend, and I'd seen him the weekend before. This weekend he visited me though, even though there's nothing in Jecheon really. We stayed in and watched movies, and cooked some beautiful food. It wasn't all perfect, but I enjoyed the processes and I'm quite happy with the visit. Now I just have to make sure not to do something stupid.
I THINK that's all I have to do. I am busy next weekend, so I won't see him for two weeks. That part really makes this kinda difficult...I suppose I could take a bus out after work on Saturday, or Sunday morning. Who says we can't just have a brunch-date? I can go two hours both ways for a brunch-date, can't I?