Fate (Dear Diary)
[entry code: Dear Diary]
I do want to cut back on my "dear diary" posts...but not today. Today I will set aside a significant amount of time/effort on writing fiction (hopefully AFTER I finish a bunch of other important tasks). Since that fiction won't be...um...appropriate, for the unprepared audience (i.e. family), then I can't really include it here.
Besides, I have a frustration to share. I hope in so doing, I will feel some needed resolution.
I got an e-mail about a week ago, saying that one of my safety schools has not received all of my application materials - this is a problem, since the deadline for the school is January 5th - tomorrow. It became more of a problem when I couldn't pinpoint why or how to 'fix' it. A part of the application is completed on-line. Supplementary forms, including official transcripts and letters of recommendation, are mailed in - and I'm pretty sure they want it mailed together, so I was to collect all the letters, transcripts, and forms together (which caused a delay, as I had one professor be a bit late in returning his recommendation). And lastly, I was to have the GRE scores sent from the GRE administration directly to the school.
And the school was missing everything except the online-completed application.
What got me first was, could I afford to re-send the whole application? I would have to expedite the mailing, and I wasn't even sure why it didn't make it.
Which reminded me that: they said they didn't even have my GRE scores! My general score was sent back in the middle of November!
And I'd sent a check for the application fee - did they process that? Perhaps they had my materials after all, but didn't connect it with the on-line application?
What likely happened with the supplementary materials? And, if I should send it again, how could I avoid the same problem occurring?
This would be less of a problem, but the costs aren't just financial (though I am EXTREMELY tight on money at the moment). I would need to send forms to my four recommenders (or at least three of them), signed, ideally with prestamped envelopes, and ask them to mail their recommendations AGAIN, but to a different address. And at least two of my recommenders are already irritated with my first request (how much they focus their irritation on me is unknown, but I worry...). And anyway, while I can fax the other forms, the official transcripts and recommendations would have to be mailed, taking extra time.
WORSE: No one would talk to me! I didn't consider that when I mailed the first packet (December 17th I think - a Monday), but although the post office was running, the next few weeks would be full of holidays and vacation days. And the admissions coordinator I was in contact with, quit! One of the lesser employees had transferred me to the appropriate "counselor" regarding what I should do, and even provided the phone number - but he wouldn't answer! And I sent an e-mail to the coordinator's replacement, and haven't yet gotten a response (though I only e-mailed yesterday, so).
GRR!
So, I called them early today, to confirm the status and what I should do - with my big questions being: why wouldn't they have my GRE scores, and what are the possible situations regarding my application packet? (DID my packet get lost in the mail?)
Her best guess - and she did sound more competent than the last guy I talked to - was that the packet was still being processed, and it could take 7-10 days, especially during the holidays. And yes, they did receive my GRE scores - it's odd that the previous guy didn't tell me that. So on the one hand I'm thinking, good, that's what I'd originally suspected - the packet could still be in processing, and especially since the coordinator had quit, there could be a lot of delays I don't know about. Since they only care about the post-by date, I may be fine. On the other hand: I still don't really know anything! All I know now is that I KNOW I don't know something.
If, for example, she could check the 'in box' for packets with my name, and confirm that it was or was not there, I would know that I'd have to re-send information. Instead, there are two possibilities and two options.
Possibilities:
1) Lost in the mail indefinitely (I'm pretty sure it takes less than a week to get there, and less than a week to get back, so if it were to be returned to me, it'd have gotten here already)
2) Being processed, temporarily misplaced within the processing center, or soon-to-reach the processing center (which is possible if it went to the wrong address - but still the University, as it's too low a possibility that the post officer would make a mistake that large).
Options:
1) Re-print and re-fill forms, fax and/or expedite their mailing along with mailing the official transcripts, and expedite-mail the recommendation forms and pre-stamped envelopes to my recommenders to send directly to the University. (and, of course, in asking the recommenders for this favor, I'd be risking further deterioration of our relationship which I expect is already strained).
2) Let it be. Either the University will find/process my supplementary materials, or they won't.
Normally I would let this decision sit for a few days, to figure both my priorities and my intuition regarding the matter - but the deadline is tomorrow. It's unlikely already that the recommendations will get there in time to be seriously considered (although they did say that it wouldn't disqualify my application). And all that mail sounds...pretty costly. I don't like to think of money as an obstacle (though it would take some finagling), so I also focus on how difficult it would be to send a non-abrasive request for help from my recommenders, and how much I might be putting them out. It's pretty convincing.
And so I called some people to talk out my problem, and the third person, my mom, answered. Basically, she says if it's a school I want to go to (which it isn't), then it's worth the cost. But if I have five other schools and I don't really care for this one (I have nine others), then I shouldn't worry about it. It does sound like she estimates more highly the likelihood of a school accepting me. With some applications, you are rejected because you don't meet their standards; with these applications, even this 'safety-school' application, it's much more likely that you are rejected simply because there's not enough space for all the 'qualified' applicants, and even after filtering for the better ones, they have to select according to some rough, semi-arbitrary characteristic (like preferring one statement-of-purpose over another, or recognizing one of the schools or professors an applicant went to for undergrad or masters).
Still. Couldn't decide...I don't like giving up on an application, but I don't like the idea of spending so much more on this one either. She pointed out that with all the mailing she's done, she's rarely lost anything in the mail (and even then, the letter was returned, or the package was simply switched with another). And then she confided that if she were in such a position, she would consider it fate - "although I tend to be fatalistic," she hedged. And really, I do too.
And I think that cinched it for me. I recognize a pattern that has persisted throughout my life, that the important things for me are ones I have to work for - endurance and persistence - which is unfortunate, as these things don't require my talents and skill so much as they require simple energy and focus (and I lack energy and focus). So in this sort of situation, especially 'near the end' of my attempt, I want to tie up all loose ends and satisfy any 'just-in-cases'. For example, I will normally send something overnight that will probably be okay if I sent it regular, "just in case." I did just that for both schools in Korea, actually. But I feel that 1) This isn't a good school anyway; 2) re-sending the application won't help (because they already have it, or the second won't reach them either); and 3) this DOES feel a bit like fate.
I don't normally decide things based on 'fate,' and I suppose I'm not quite this time either (as the cost weighs heavily too), but it's a factor.
Stupid school. Stupid application process. Just when I think I'm done, another problem pops up. (knock on wood)
I do want to cut back on my "dear diary" posts...but not today. Today I will set aside a significant amount of time/effort on writing fiction (hopefully AFTER I finish a bunch of other important tasks). Since that fiction won't be...um...appropriate, for the unprepared audience (i.e. family), then I can't really include it here.
Besides, I have a frustration to share. I hope in so doing, I will feel some needed resolution.
I got an e-mail about a week ago, saying that one of my safety schools has not received all of my application materials - this is a problem, since the deadline for the school is January 5th - tomorrow. It became more of a problem when I couldn't pinpoint why or how to 'fix' it. A part of the application is completed on-line. Supplementary forms, including official transcripts and letters of recommendation, are mailed in - and I'm pretty sure they want it mailed together, so I was to collect all the letters, transcripts, and forms together (which caused a delay, as I had one professor be a bit late in returning his recommendation). And lastly, I was to have the GRE scores sent from the GRE administration directly to the school.
And the school was missing everything except the online-completed application.
What got me first was, could I afford to re-send the whole application? I would have to expedite the mailing, and I wasn't even sure why it didn't make it.
Which reminded me that: they said they didn't even have my GRE scores! My general score was sent back in the middle of November!
And I'd sent a check for the application fee - did they process that? Perhaps they had my materials after all, but didn't connect it with the on-line application?
What likely happened with the supplementary materials? And, if I should send it again, how could I avoid the same problem occurring?
This would be less of a problem, but the costs aren't just financial (though I am EXTREMELY tight on money at the moment). I would need to send forms to my four recommenders (or at least three of them), signed, ideally with prestamped envelopes, and ask them to mail their recommendations AGAIN, but to a different address. And at least two of my recommenders are already irritated with my first request (how much they focus their irritation on me is unknown, but I worry...). And anyway, while I can fax the other forms, the official transcripts and recommendations would have to be mailed, taking extra time.
WORSE: No one would talk to me! I didn't consider that when I mailed the first packet (December 17th I think - a Monday), but although the post office was running, the next few weeks would be full of holidays and vacation days. And the admissions coordinator I was in contact with, quit! One of the lesser employees had transferred me to the appropriate "counselor" regarding what I should do, and even provided the phone number - but he wouldn't answer! And I sent an e-mail to the coordinator's replacement, and haven't yet gotten a response (though I only e-mailed yesterday, so).
GRR!
So, I called them early today, to confirm the status and what I should do - with my big questions being: why wouldn't they have my GRE scores, and what are the possible situations regarding my application packet? (DID my packet get lost in the mail?)
Her best guess - and she did sound more competent than the last guy I talked to - was that the packet was still being processed, and it could take 7-10 days, especially during the holidays. And yes, they did receive my GRE scores - it's odd that the previous guy didn't tell me that. So on the one hand I'm thinking, good, that's what I'd originally suspected - the packet could still be in processing, and especially since the coordinator had quit, there could be a lot of delays I don't know about. Since they only care about the post-by date, I may be fine. On the other hand: I still don't really know anything! All I know now is that I KNOW I don't know something.
If, for example, she could check the 'in box' for packets with my name, and confirm that it was or was not there, I would know that I'd have to re-send information. Instead, there are two possibilities and two options.
Possibilities:
1) Lost in the mail indefinitely (I'm pretty sure it takes less than a week to get there, and less than a week to get back, so if it were to be returned to me, it'd have gotten here already)
2) Being processed, temporarily misplaced within the processing center, or soon-to-reach the processing center (which is possible if it went to the wrong address - but still the University, as it's too low a possibility that the post officer would make a mistake that large).
Options:
1) Re-print and re-fill forms, fax and/or expedite their mailing along with mailing the official transcripts, and expedite-mail the recommendation forms and pre-stamped envelopes to my recommenders to send directly to the University. (and, of course, in asking the recommenders for this favor, I'd be risking further deterioration of our relationship which I expect is already strained).
2) Let it be. Either the University will find/process my supplementary materials, or they won't.
Normally I would let this decision sit for a few days, to figure both my priorities and my intuition regarding the matter - but the deadline is tomorrow. It's unlikely already that the recommendations will get there in time to be seriously considered (although they did say that it wouldn't disqualify my application). And all that mail sounds...pretty costly. I don't like to think of money as an obstacle (though it would take some finagling), so I also focus on how difficult it would be to send a non-abrasive request for help from my recommenders, and how much I might be putting them out. It's pretty convincing.
And so I called some people to talk out my problem, and the third person, my mom, answered. Basically, she says if it's a school I want to go to (which it isn't), then it's worth the cost. But if I have five other schools and I don't really care for this one (I have nine others), then I shouldn't worry about it. It does sound like she estimates more highly the likelihood of a school accepting me. With some applications, you are rejected because you don't meet their standards; with these applications, even this 'safety-school' application, it's much more likely that you are rejected simply because there's not enough space for all the 'qualified' applicants, and even after filtering for the better ones, they have to select according to some rough, semi-arbitrary characteristic (like preferring one statement-of-purpose over another, or recognizing one of the schools or professors an applicant went to for undergrad or masters).
Still. Couldn't decide...I don't like giving up on an application, but I don't like the idea of spending so much more on this one either. She pointed out that with all the mailing she's done, she's rarely lost anything in the mail (and even then, the letter was returned, or the package was simply switched with another). And then she confided that if she were in such a position, she would consider it fate - "although I tend to be fatalistic," she hedged. And really, I do too.
And I think that cinched it for me. I recognize a pattern that has persisted throughout my life, that the important things for me are ones I have to work for - endurance and persistence - which is unfortunate, as these things don't require my talents and skill so much as they require simple energy and focus (and I lack energy and focus). So in this sort of situation, especially 'near the end' of my attempt, I want to tie up all loose ends and satisfy any 'just-in-cases'. For example, I will normally send something overnight that will probably be okay if I sent it regular, "just in case." I did just that for both schools in Korea, actually. But I feel that 1) This isn't a good school anyway; 2) re-sending the application won't help (because they already have it, or the second won't reach them either); and 3) this DOES feel a bit like fate.
I don't normally decide things based on 'fate,' and I suppose I'm not quite this time either (as the cost weighs heavily too), but it's a factor.
Stupid school. Stupid application process. Just when I think I'm done, another problem pops up. (knock on wood)