Where You've Been Lost and Found Out
Title: Where You've Been Lost and Found Out
Author: tafidadarling
Fandom: The Social Network which belongs to Columbia Pictures.
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Chris/Dustin, Eduardo, Mark and Sean
Rating: FRM
Summary: This is the response to the prompt "5 times chris almost says "I love you" (not i love you man love but i'm in love with you love, just to clarify) and one time Dustin says it." from tsn_kinkmeme. I only made it four times Chris almost says it and the one time they both do. So yeah. This took me forever because I would write like two lines a day. XD
Notes: Title stolen from It's Not A Side Effect Of The Cocaine. I Am Thinking It Must Be Love by Fall Out Boy.
Cross posted to socialnetwrkfic and tsn_kinkmeme.
i. Chris first realized it when he and Dustin were playing XBOX. Mark and Eduardo had retreated to the bedroom to discuss moving the company to California. Dustin had turned the sound up, the artificial gunshots drowning out the raised voices coming from behind the door. Chris looked over, and Dustin offered a small smile. Chris knew he could be at Harvard or all the way across the country. It didn't matter as long as Dustin was with him. Chris was a bit unsettled that he would have an epiphany while seated on the beat up couch playing Call Of Duty. It all seemed anti-climatic, but there it was. He loved Dustin. He paused the game and turned toward him.
"Hey Dustin?"
"Yeah?"
Before Chris could just blurt out the words 'I love you' (which seemed like the best course of action at the time) Eduardo stormed out of the bedroom, his fists clenched at his sides, trying to remain as calm as possible.
"I'm not just dropping everything Mark," he said carefully enunciating each word.
Mark looked unphased; it was not surprising. "We'll keep you updated then."
"Fine," Eduardo spat to which Mark replied "Fine" coolly,his arms folded across his chest. They were behaving like children.
Eduardo left the suite, and Mark retreated back into the bedroom muttering about how work needed to be done. Silence washed over the room. It was deafening. Chris and Dustin sat there, motionless, the game forgotten.
"So, uh, what were you going to say before?" Dustin asked when it felt safe to talk again.
While he had been nervous at first, what little courage Chris had left with the simultaneous slamming of doors. He was still getting used to this development himself. He had no clue how Dustin would react if he began spilling his heart, so to speak.
"Oh, nothing," he said aiming for casual. "It wasn't important."
ii. Chris shivered as he sat on the step at the low end of the pool. It was still not quite warm enough to be swimming, but they had a pool now. It had been practically begging them to come take a dip. Chris watched Dustin take a running start and dive flawlessly a few feet from him. He swam over to Chris and said through chattering teeth," This is the life, huh?"
It may have been cool out, but there was no breeze. The water was still besides the ripples they were causing. The moment was serene, and Chris couldn't help imagining if his life were a movie, leaning forward and capturing Dustin's trembling lips in a kiss. His life wasn't a movie, however, and Dustin still didn't even know how Chris felt. He couldn't even say if Dustin felt the same way. Chris knew he had asked Mark if some Stephanie girl in one of his classes was single awhile ago. Chris knew normally that meant someone was quite obviously not into you. They weren't at Harvard anymore, though. Stephanie What's-Her-Name was miles away. It was just him and Dustin now.
"Yo, Earth to Hughes," Dustin said waving a wrinkled hand in Chris's face. "I was talking and you were totally zoned out. Is everything okay?"
"Yeah. Well, no. Not entirely. It's hard to explain."
"Just say it!"
Sure, Chris wasn't an expert, but a pool was decidedly more romantic than declaring your love while blowing heads off on XBOX live. He wanted to do it right. He wanted to take Dustin out. He wanted to light candles around the rom. This proved, he realized, to be a good reason to stop watching Pretty Woman on late night television.
"Guys!" Mark shouted before Chris could even open his mouth (which he was sure was frozen shut and not just because it was cold in the pool). "Sean's here."
iii. Chris noticed it didn't take Sean long to weasel his way into the house. Chris wasn't one to judge. He may have liked to party too much, but he was a part of the company. It didn't stop Chris from disliking him especially how Mark acted like he was a genius. Being a genius himself, that was pretty stupid.
One night, Sean insisted on taking Mark out to the hottest club in town. Although it was hardly Mark's scene, he immediately agreed. Chris and Dustin tagging along was barely even an afterthought. They had been coding with Mark when Sean stumbled in and proposed this idea.
"You guys can come too I guess," he had said. He smiled wide, and Chris had the urge to hack Napster and rename every song as "Sean Parker is a Douchebag".
Still unsure why he came, Chris watched Sean lead Mark to a VIP booth upstairs leaving him and Dustin on the dance floor. Dustin didn't appear to care about being ditched. It had been clear they weren't wanted here all along. He walked to the bar shouting to Chris over his shoulder, "We might as well have fun, right?"
"I think one Sean is enough," Chris replied as Dustin handed him a drink. Dustin just laughed and disappeared into the crowd. He began dancing, slow at first, eyes closed and head tossed back. He soon raised his arms and swayed his hips to the beat. Chris had never seen Dustin let go like this. Even when playing video games or hanging out it seemed his brain was still closely calculating everything (which might have explained why he was putting up with Sean that night).
Dustin's eyes shot open, and he spied Chris watching him. He grabbed his wrist, forcing him to join the other bodies moving to the music. Chris felt light headed, and he wasn't sure if it was the drink, the noise or just being this close to Dustin. They were pressed together, the floor full of dancers. Dustin's face was flushed, lips slightly parted. If he heard the muttered "I love you" he didn't say anything.
iv. Chris hadn't seen Eduardo confront Mark at the office. The rumors had spread before Dustin found him, telling the true story. They both liked Eduardo, but they liked their jobs more. Everyone else was off to the Millionth Member Party back at the house except for them and Mark (which Chris could care less about because Mark was the last thing on his mind).
He and Dustin were sprawled out on his office floor drinking beers from the mini fridge. It felt like they were right back at Kirkland. Chris couldn't believe that was hardly two years ago. He must have said that out loud because Dustin started laughing.
"Don't tell anyone," he whispered as he leaned into Chris. "I actually sometimes miss those days."
"Just the two of us?"
"Yeah, playing a game or coding all night."
"We do that now. Plus we get paid for it. A lot."
Dustin laid his head on Chris's shoulder and sighed. "It seemed more innocent back then. No Sean. Mark and Wardo were getting along. You and I had more time to have fun."
"We also do that now," Chris said daring to wrap his arm around Dustin. Two years suddenly seemed longer. Two years and he never told Dustin how he felt. He wouldn't wait anymore. "Dustin?"
Dustin snored softly. Chris, as carefully as he could, pulled him up and on the couch. Dustin didn't wake up once. Chris just laughed and shook his head.
"I would not want to be you in the morning," he muttered and turned off the lights. He stood in the doorway for a minute watching Dustin sleep. "I love you," he quietly added and then shut the door.
v. Chris didn't know this was a date. It wasn't completely his fault if he was rusty when it came to modern dating. He had been working up the courage to say three little words that he never noticed that going to dinner with one friend once a week now that they weren't in college would qualify (which apparently it does).
Dustin had found this hilarious, of course, once after the fourth week he easily said what Chris couldn't. The waiter had left with their orders, and Dustin squeezed Chris's hand. "I love you. You know that, right?"
The emotions that crossed Chris's face ranged from surprised to ecstatic. He eventually settled on content as Dustin chuckled.
"I didn't, but I do now. I love you too."
"I always knew."