Finally, a REAL update (that's not sad or depressing =P).
I need to make an effort to start posting more about my everyday triumphs and accomplishments, and not just about the times when I'm feeling sad or depressed. Otherwise I'm going to look back at my blogs and journals and only see the negatives of my time here in Victoria, and I don't want that. For example, I really wanted to post about some great experiences last term such as the Holiday Home Tour, the Choreographer's Mentorship Showcase, and the Physical Theatre Showcase. Rehearsals for those events had me happily busy, and the performances were such amazing and fulfilling experiences. I'll always have my pictures to remember all those happy times, but it would be nice to have some of those times in writing, too. Since I've moved out here I guess I've been using my blogs as a stress-reliever or as a place to vent my sadness and frustrations more than anything. When things are busy and productive and I'm feeling good about everything I just don't have the motivation (or time!) to post. But, here we go - I have three and half months left so let's see if I can start keeping a better record of my experiences here at the Canadian College of Performing Arts.
On December 9th, we had our Physical Theatre Showcase followed by a scholarship presentation. I was one of the winners of the Puente Theatre Scholarship, for my essay on multiculturalism in the performing arts. I wrote my three-and-a-half page essay in two hours, the morning the essays were due. Muahaha...I definitely got memories of all the papers I wrote in university: always at the last minute, but always returned with an A grade. =) I read my essay out loud in front of the whole school as well as the whole audience that was there for the showcase, and I ended up crying like a baby. What I wrote came from such a personal place, and a big part of it was about my parents and how I wouldn't be where I am without all of their love and support. You can read the essay here (it's the third and last one on the page): http://www.puentetheatre.ca/TempPages/scholarship2006/scholarship06.htm
This past week was a great one. I was very happy with the piece I presented in Connections (musical theatre) class on Wednesday. I sang "The Beauty Is" from The Light in the Piazza. My teacher Janis really liked my performance. Usually in these workshops she gives feedback and asks us to try the piece again incorporating the things she has said, but this time she spent the rest of my workshop telling me the things she like about my performance, such as my blocking and the way I had set up the stage and used my props, which in this case were the pillars, bench, and tree. She said that I completely captured the essence of the character. She also noticed that my eye focus has gotten better. YES! That was one of my goals for this piece, because in my last two I had trouble establishing the "fourth wall" - that is, making sure that when I was looking in the direction of the audience that I knew what my character was seeing and not "playing" to the audience. This time, I knew what was in front of me, and I could see those things, such as a fountain and various people going about their day. The first thing Janis asked me was, "How was it working on the music for this song?" I replied, "Really challenging!" because the music changes tempos and keys so often and the arrangement is all over the place. She agreed with me, and she said that I "didn't show any of that" in my performance. She said that I should consider the fact that I was able to conquer the piece musically without the audience even realizing the difficulty of it as a big accomplishment in itself. One constructive comment she made was at the end of the performance my arms were hanging down for a bit too long, making me look a bit hunched over. I think I was trying not to OVER-gesture. That's what this class is all about - figuring all those things out: what's too much, what's too little, and just practicing being completely in the moment and truly becoming the character. It's funny, the self-deprecating part of me always has a hard time taking praise and positive feedback. I always wonder things like, "Well, maybe she didn't give me more constructive criticism because she just doesn't think I'm good enough. She doesn't have really have that much hope for me and her expectations for me aren't that high so that's why she was so nice." When I told a couple of my classmates this, they promptly (and lovingly) told me to shut up. =P
Friday was the day of our mock auditions, where we did a "practice audition" in front of a panel of faculty members and a director from the Belfry Theatre here in Victoria. The idea was to practice the proper way of walking into an audition room, saying your name, speaking to the accompanist, stating what you would be performing, and then actually doing a monologue and song for them. I did a monologue from the play "Moo" by Canadian playwright Sally Clark, and my song was "I Will Be Loved Tonight" from the musical I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change. It was another song that I performed really well in Connections class. Janis had said that I really captured the vulnerability of the character, my movement was great, my gestures were natural, and she could see different "vignettes" going through my mind throughout the song. I remember her reaction very well - she was sighing and awwwing. I also remember her saying at the end of my second run of the piece, "And still dreaming..." because I ended the song off in a chair, staring ahead dreamily. Hmmm, guess who was my inspiration for the whole performance? =) Anyway, the day before the mock audition I asked Janis' opinion on what song to use. After some consideration, she went with "I Will Be Loved Tonight", even though as I said, she thought that I gave a good performance of "The Beauty Is", as well. Even though I showed great vulnerability in both pieces, she said it really shone in "I Will Be Loved Tonight" and the song would definitely be a "sure thing". So, I took her advice.
After my mock audition I walked out of the room very happy with my actual performances, but kicking myself a bit because I thought I made a bit of a mistake with my transition from my monologue to song. (I felt I didn't wait enough "beats" for the panel to finish writing down their notes about my monologue and started my song too early.) Other than that little detail I felt that I carried myself well and spoke to the panel professionally and articulately. We received our notes/evaluations of the mock auditions at the end of the day, and I was happy to see that I had glowing remarks across the board. Janis said that I "shone" in the audition and showed myself "naturally and beautifully", and had nothing but great things to say about my monologue and song. My voice teacher Jeanette, who was also on the panel, said, "Good movement. Nice release of jaw. Brava. Excellent. Lovely vulnerability. Well done." WOOHOO! Jeanette and I have had our struggles over the year, and I am so happy that she was finally able to see me in full performance mode. I got to show her that I CAN sing with full "intention" and I CAN really act! =) I love Jeanette and really respect her feedback so I was so glad to find out that she was happy with the way I performed. I also received very positive feedback from my acting teacher Christopher. He said, "Good work...some fire here," and also said that I "found the story" and had "great improvement". Coming from Christopher, that means so, so much, because again, I don't think he's really seen all of what I can do, and I think he saw a glimpse of that in this audition. Actually, I should mention that I was feeling really good even before I got my written evaluations. After my audition, I was sitting in the student lounge and the panel went on a break. Jeanette came walking by and as she approached me, she slowed down, gave me the thumbs-up sign, and with wide eyes she whispered very excitedly, "GOOD JOB!!" Then later, I had just come back from having lunch at home when Christopher walked towards me and said, also quietly but very emphatically with wide eyes and a pointed finger, "GOOD WORK." I guess they weren't really supposed to give us feedback personally until we got our written comments, so that's why they gave me those brief verbal comments quietly like that. The fact that both Jeanette and Christopher, two teachers I highly respect and often struggle to please, made it a point to tell me that I did a good job made me incredibly happy. BUT, again, upon reading all of the written comments of the panel, my self-deprecation crept into my head and I started knocking myself down. I really need to learn to accept and embrace any and all positive feedback, because in this business I definitely won't be receiving it all the time!
Tomorrow evening I head to Vancouver for the Triple Sensation auditions. Most of the school is going, except for 10 people, I think. Triple Sensation is a new reality TV show on CBC set out to find the ultimate singer/actor/dancer. The grand prize is a $150,000 scholarship to any performing arts institution of your choice. It should be a great experience. Every audition is a valuable experience. Plus, the age limitations for the show are from 16-26, so basically for me it really is now or never. =P Yup, I'm an oldie to be starting this whole performing arts thing...but an oldie but goodie, right? Right. =)
On December 9th, we had our Physical Theatre Showcase followed by a scholarship presentation. I was one of the winners of the Puente Theatre Scholarship, for my essay on multiculturalism in the performing arts. I wrote my three-and-a-half page essay in two hours, the morning the essays were due. Muahaha...I definitely got memories of all the papers I wrote in university: always at the last minute, but always returned with an A grade. =) I read my essay out loud in front of the whole school as well as the whole audience that was there for the showcase, and I ended up crying like a baby. What I wrote came from such a personal place, and a big part of it was about my parents and how I wouldn't be where I am without all of their love and support. You can read the essay here (it's the third and last one on the page): http://www.puentetheatre.ca/TempPages/scholarship2006/scholarship06.htm
This past week was a great one. I was very happy with the piece I presented in Connections (musical theatre) class on Wednesday. I sang "The Beauty Is" from The Light in the Piazza. My teacher Janis really liked my performance. Usually in these workshops she gives feedback and asks us to try the piece again incorporating the things she has said, but this time she spent the rest of my workshop telling me the things she like about my performance, such as my blocking and the way I had set up the stage and used my props, which in this case were the pillars, bench, and tree. She said that I completely captured the essence of the character. She also noticed that my eye focus has gotten better. YES! That was one of my goals for this piece, because in my last two I had trouble establishing the "fourth wall" - that is, making sure that when I was looking in the direction of the audience that I knew what my character was seeing and not "playing" to the audience. This time, I knew what was in front of me, and I could see those things, such as a fountain and various people going about their day. The first thing Janis asked me was, "How was it working on the music for this song?" I replied, "Really challenging!" because the music changes tempos and keys so often and the arrangement is all over the place. She agreed with me, and she said that I "didn't show any of that" in my performance. She said that I should consider the fact that I was able to conquer the piece musically without the audience even realizing the difficulty of it as a big accomplishment in itself. One constructive comment she made was at the end of the performance my arms were hanging down for a bit too long, making me look a bit hunched over. I think I was trying not to OVER-gesture. That's what this class is all about - figuring all those things out: what's too much, what's too little, and just practicing being completely in the moment and truly becoming the character. It's funny, the self-deprecating part of me always has a hard time taking praise and positive feedback. I always wonder things like, "Well, maybe she didn't give me more constructive criticism because she just doesn't think I'm good enough. She doesn't have really have that much hope for me and her expectations for me aren't that high so that's why she was so nice." When I told a couple of my classmates this, they promptly (and lovingly) told me to shut up. =P
Friday was the day of our mock auditions, where we did a "practice audition" in front of a panel of faculty members and a director from the Belfry Theatre here in Victoria. The idea was to practice the proper way of walking into an audition room, saying your name, speaking to the accompanist, stating what you would be performing, and then actually doing a monologue and song for them. I did a monologue from the play "Moo" by Canadian playwright Sally Clark, and my song was "I Will Be Loved Tonight" from the musical I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change. It was another song that I performed really well in Connections class. Janis had said that I really captured the vulnerability of the character, my movement was great, my gestures were natural, and she could see different "vignettes" going through my mind throughout the song. I remember her reaction very well - she was sighing and awwwing. I also remember her saying at the end of my second run of the piece, "And still dreaming..." because I ended the song off in a chair, staring ahead dreamily. Hmmm, guess who was my inspiration for the whole performance? =) Anyway, the day before the mock audition I asked Janis' opinion on what song to use. After some consideration, she went with "I Will Be Loved Tonight", even though as I said, she thought that I gave a good performance of "The Beauty Is", as well. Even though I showed great vulnerability in both pieces, she said it really shone in "I Will Be Loved Tonight" and the song would definitely be a "sure thing". So, I took her advice.
After my mock audition I walked out of the room very happy with my actual performances, but kicking myself a bit because I thought I made a bit of a mistake with my transition from my monologue to song. (I felt I didn't wait enough "beats" for the panel to finish writing down their notes about my monologue and started my song too early.) Other than that little detail I felt that I carried myself well and spoke to the panel professionally and articulately. We received our notes/evaluations of the mock auditions at the end of the day, and I was happy to see that I had glowing remarks across the board. Janis said that I "shone" in the audition and showed myself "naturally and beautifully", and had nothing but great things to say about my monologue and song. My voice teacher Jeanette, who was also on the panel, said, "Good movement. Nice release of jaw. Brava. Excellent. Lovely vulnerability. Well done." WOOHOO! Jeanette and I have had our struggles over the year, and I am so happy that she was finally able to see me in full performance mode. I got to show her that I CAN sing with full "intention" and I CAN really act! =) I love Jeanette and really respect her feedback so I was so glad to find out that she was happy with the way I performed. I also received very positive feedback from my acting teacher Christopher. He said, "Good work...some fire here," and also said that I "found the story" and had "great improvement". Coming from Christopher, that means so, so much, because again, I don't think he's really seen all of what I can do, and I think he saw a glimpse of that in this audition. Actually, I should mention that I was feeling really good even before I got my written evaluations. After my audition, I was sitting in the student lounge and the panel went on a break. Jeanette came walking by and as she approached me, she slowed down, gave me the thumbs-up sign, and with wide eyes she whispered very excitedly, "GOOD JOB!!" Then later, I had just come back from having lunch at home when Christopher walked towards me and said, also quietly but very emphatically with wide eyes and a pointed finger, "GOOD WORK." I guess they weren't really supposed to give us feedback personally until we got our written comments, so that's why they gave me those brief verbal comments quietly like that. The fact that both Jeanette and Christopher, two teachers I highly respect and often struggle to please, made it a point to tell me that I did a good job made me incredibly happy. BUT, again, upon reading all of the written comments of the panel, my self-deprecation crept into my head and I started knocking myself down. I really need to learn to accept and embrace any and all positive feedback, because in this business I definitely won't be receiving it all the time!
Tomorrow evening I head to Vancouver for the Triple Sensation auditions. Most of the school is going, except for 10 people, I think. Triple Sensation is a new reality TV show on CBC set out to find the ultimate singer/actor/dancer. The grand prize is a $150,000 scholarship to any performing arts institution of your choice. It should be a great experience. Every audition is a valuable experience. Plus, the age limitations for the show are from 16-26, so basically for me it really is now or never. =P Yup, I'm an oldie to be starting this whole performing arts thing...but an oldie but goodie, right? Right. =)