07. (xanho) some days
some days
G; alexander/dongho, kevin being awesome; mostly friendshippy; ~1000w
One day Dongho comes into practice and isn't smiling, doesn't talk much except for the occasional "yeah, hyung". When Kevin, worried, wraps himself around him, curls an arm around his neck and messes up his hair asking what's up, hey? he doesn't answer either, half-hearted smile looking more like a grimace. But Kevin gets it somehow, in his own way, so he pulls away, fingers tapping lightly on the maknae's forearm to say okay, I understand. In the mirror, Dongho's expression doesn't change.
Alexander, though, is a different case entirely. He wants to pull Dongho away from their stifling practice room and its walls, outside to the streets and around crowded food markets, make him feel better in the best way Alexander knows how; with ddukbokki and odeng and whatever there is to be had. But he hangs back instead, watches the youngest stumble through the motions lifelessly. He thinks absently maybe it's the stress of his schedules even though he knows it isn't- Alexander lies to himself sometimes, a habit he likes to pretend he doesn't have.
Across the room, Kevin turns and gives Alexander a look, telling him what to do because if there's anybody who understands Alexander's fears and inadequacies and isn't afraid to tell him, it's Kevin. When Alexander persistently avoids his gaze, Kevin glides over and catches him by the arm. Wrestling playfully, they collapse lazily against a wall, arms purposefully tangled together so Alexander can't escape.
"Hyung," Kevin says, not quite looking right at him, "I think I'm stronger than you."
Alexander chews on his lip a bit, laughs stiltedly: "You can say all you like, cheesecake."
Kevin pushes him lightly and he falls over like a broken nevalyashka doll, unable to get up. Then he moves to sit lightly on Alexander's stomach, jabbing him in the chest for emphasis as he talks.
"No, really, hyung. And they say I'm just bones."
He smiles sweetly as ever, getting up and extending an arm to help the other while he's at it. Alexander allows himself to be pulled up, and is rewarded with another smile.
"Let's go back to practice, okay?"
Some days Alexander wonders if there's somebody laughing at him somewhere, and if people like him would know what to do without people like Kevin. Maybe he's just lucky, because even if he never knows what to do (or how to do it, or is too much of a coward to), somebody else does and is willing to help him. He has it easier than a lot of people, he figures. So even though he's still a bit lost and mostly not too sure about anything, Alexander smiles too.
"Okay."
-
When they're finally let out of practice it's two in the morning, which they're all used to, but despite this the members are wearily shuffling their feet until they're all standing outside in a small cluster. When Dongho says something to their manager and heads back into the building, Alexander doesn't even need to be told to follow him.
He finds the maknae on the rooftop, curled up quietly against a low wall. Alexander takes a hesitant step, then two; there's about a foot's worth of distance between them when he speaks.
"You look like a lost puppy," he attempts to joke, hopping lightly on the spot to keep from getting cold. The sky is an even gradient, navy above his head and almost purple just above the city. It's pretty, even if it's light pollution.
Dongho turns his head just slightly, but doesn't meet Alexander's eyes at all. "Is that so," he breathes. Then, "What are you doing up here, hyung?"
Alexander stops hopping at this, scuffing his boots uncertainly against the floor. "I'm not sure myself," he answers at length, but in a small burst of confidence, he drops down and sits next to Dongho. Even if they're sitting right next to each other, Alexander finds that he's cold. "You?"
"I dunno." Dongho looks far younger than his sixteen years, head resting at an odd angle on his knees while he traces shapes into the ground before him. A circle, a stroke, a line with a curl at the end. Alexander imagines that he's drawing a place he'd rather be. "Today I felt like a teacup filled with coffee," here he draws a cup haphazardly- "a bicycle being walked" he draws a bicycle knocking his cup over- "or library books that have never been read." Dongho gives up on the doodles, but Alexander understands sufficiently.
"I see," he says, because he does. Even though he's unsure, he reaches for Dongho's hand, and clumsily guides it against the floor. "But I don't suppose you realise that there are people who drink coffee whenever they can, can't cycle for their lives, and have mountains of library books sitting around at home." He draws three arrows pointing directly at himself. Dongho snickers just a bit, the first time he's laughed all day. Alexander lets himself crack a nervous grin in reply.
"You, hyung, are terribly lame," he says, but his voice is quiet and it allows his insecurities to show. "Really, I'm fine. It's just today." Alexander's hand is still holding his, so Dongho takes it between both of his own hands and snuggles a bit closer.
Alexander doesn't really believe him - he has the same habit. He says "Alright," anyway; it's not so cold anymore.
"I know you don't believe me," Dongho smirks lopsidedly. His breath comes out in small clouds, misting in perfect mushroom-shapes. Alexander stares at them, slightly transfixed. "I'll tell you if I need an idiot who can't cycle, owes the library their life and lives on coffee, though."
Alexander scoffs, part disbelief and part taking offense. But he doesn't say anything, standing up and pulling the younger with him. "Come on," he says, "Everyone has to go home."
"Alright," Dongho concedes, following slowly. "And hyung?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
Alexander thinks that even if he needs help, it means he manages to do some things right some days, so it's okay.
-----
what am I doing asdlkasdhgfd; just a teensy bit inspired by Dongho's "Nobody can understand me" tweet but really I just wanted to write xanho hahahha
G; alexander/dongho, kevin being awesome; mostly friendshippy; ~1000w
One day Dongho comes into practice and isn't smiling, doesn't talk much except for the occasional "yeah, hyung". When Kevin, worried, wraps himself around him, curls an arm around his neck and messes up his hair asking what's up, hey? he doesn't answer either, half-hearted smile looking more like a grimace. But Kevin gets it somehow, in his own way, so he pulls away, fingers tapping lightly on the maknae's forearm to say okay, I understand. In the mirror, Dongho's expression doesn't change.
Alexander, though, is a different case entirely. He wants to pull Dongho away from their stifling practice room and its walls, outside to the streets and around crowded food markets, make him feel better in the best way Alexander knows how; with ddukbokki and odeng and whatever there is to be had. But he hangs back instead, watches the youngest stumble through the motions lifelessly. He thinks absently maybe it's the stress of his schedules even though he knows it isn't- Alexander lies to himself sometimes, a habit he likes to pretend he doesn't have.
Across the room, Kevin turns and gives Alexander a look, telling him what to do because if there's anybody who understands Alexander's fears and inadequacies and isn't afraid to tell him, it's Kevin. When Alexander persistently avoids his gaze, Kevin glides over and catches him by the arm. Wrestling playfully, they collapse lazily against a wall, arms purposefully tangled together so Alexander can't escape.
"Hyung," Kevin says, not quite looking right at him, "I think I'm stronger than you."
Alexander chews on his lip a bit, laughs stiltedly: "You can say all you like, cheesecake."
Kevin pushes him lightly and he falls over like a broken nevalyashka doll, unable to get up. Then he moves to sit lightly on Alexander's stomach, jabbing him in the chest for emphasis as he talks.
"No, really, hyung. And they say I'm just bones."
He smiles sweetly as ever, getting up and extending an arm to help the other while he's at it. Alexander allows himself to be pulled up, and is rewarded with another smile.
"Let's go back to practice, okay?"
Some days Alexander wonders if there's somebody laughing at him somewhere, and if people like him would know what to do without people like Kevin. Maybe he's just lucky, because even if he never knows what to do (or how to do it, or is too much of a coward to), somebody else does and is willing to help him. He has it easier than a lot of people, he figures. So even though he's still a bit lost and mostly not too sure about anything, Alexander smiles too.
"Okay."
-
When they're finally let out of practice it's two in the morning, which they're all used to, but despite this the members are wearily shuffling their feet until they're all standing outside in a small cluster. When Dongho says something to their manager and heads back into the building, Alexander doesn't even need to be told to follow him.
He finds the maknae on the rooftop, curled up quietly against a low wall. Alexander takes a hesitant step, then two; there's about a foot's worth of distance between them when he speaks.
"You look like a lost puppy," he attempts to joke, hopping lightly on the spot to keep from getting cold. The sky is an even gradient, navy above his head and almost purple just above the city. It's pretty, even if it's light pollution.
Dongho turns his head just slightly, but doesn't meet Alexander's eyes at all. "Is that so," he breathes. Then, "What are you doing up here, hyung?"
Alexander stops hopping at this, scuffing his boots uncertainly against the floor. "I'm not sure myself," he answers at length, but in a small burst of confidence, he drops down and sits next to Dongho. Even if they're sitting right next to each other, Alexander finds that he's cold. "You?"
"I dunno." Dongho looks far younger than his sixteen years, head resting at an odd angle on his knees while he traces shapes into the ground before him. A circle, a stroke, a line with a curl at the end. Alexander imagines that he's drawing a place he'd rather be. "Today I felt like a teacup filled with coffee," here he draws a cup haphazardly- "a bicycle being walked" he draws a bicycle knocking his cup over- "or library books that have never been read." Dongho gives up on the doodles, but Alexander understands sufficiently.
"I see," he says, because he does. Even though he's unsure, he reaches for Dongho's hand, and clumsily guides it against the floor. "But I don't suppose you realise that there are people who drink coffee whenever they can, can't cycle for their lives, and have mountains of library books sitting around at home." He draws three arrows pointing directly at himself. Dongho snickers just a bit, the first time he's laughed all day. Alexander lets himself crack a nervous grin in reply.
"You, hyung, are terribly lame," he says, but his voice is quiet and it allows his insecurities to show. "Really, I'm fine. It's just today." Alexander's hand is still holding his, so Dongho takes it between both of his own hands and snuggles a bit closer.
Alexander doesn't really believe him - he has the same habit. He says "Alright," anyway; it's not so cold anymore.
"I know you don't believe me," Dongho smirks lopsidedly. His breath comes out in small clouds, misting in perfect mushroom-shapes. Alexander stares at them, slightly transfixed. "I'll tell you if I need an idiot who can't cycle, owes the library their life and lives on coffee, though."
Alexander scoffs, part disbelief and part taking offense. But he doesn't say anything, standing up and pulling the younger with him. "Come on," he says, "Everyone has to go home."
"Alright," Dongho concedes, following slowly. "And hyung?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
Alexander thinks that even if he needs help, it means he manages to do some things right some days, so it's okay.
-----
what am I doing asdlkasdhgfd; just a teensy bit inspired by Dongho's "Nobody can understand me" tweet but really I just wanted to write xanho hahahha