Yogurt...mmmm.
So, I was looking at the website for this kind of yogurt I always eat at work when I stumbled on their comments page. I decided that it was about time they hear somthing genuine, so I made somthing up. Heres what I sent them:
Dear YoCrunch,
I just wanted to thank you for enriching my life in a way I never thought possible. For years, I lived a lonely life inside my mother's basement, cut away from any real contact with sombody that could love me and dare I say? Kiss me. However, I was eating my daily cup of YoCrunch yogurt (With active cultures) when I got the distinct sensation that the yogurt I had loved for so long was loving me back. It was like a moment of clarity in a world of fog, I really did have sombody who loved me. YoCrunch wanted me. Since then, our relationship has seen no bounds. I'll eat YoCrunch anywhere (I even ate a cup while curled under my mother's kitchen sink. She was right there. It was so thrilling) and I hardly care who sees it.
Thank you again YoCrunch, for filling up those little empty spaces in my life. My social, intimate and scientific (Thank you ative cultures! I've cured cancer in my G.I. Joe dolls.) lives are now complete. Keep up the amasing work and don't lose heart. GOD makes you make yogurt. and that...is good.
-Dingo
Dear YoCrunch,
I just wanted to thank you for enriching my life in a way I never thought possible. For years, I lived a lonely life inside my mother's basement, cut away from any real contact with sombody that could love me and dare I say? Kiss me. However, I was eating my daily cup of YoCrunch yogurt (With active cultures) when I got the distinct sensation that the yogurt I had loved for so long was loving me back. It was like a moment of clarity in a world of fog, I really did have sombody who loved me. YoCrunch wanted me. Since then, our relationship has seen no bounds. I'll eat YoCrunch anywhere (I even ate a cup while curled under my mother's kitchen sink. She was right there. It was so thrilling) and I hardly care who sees it.
Thank you again YoCrunch, for filling up those little empty spaces in my life. My social, intimate and scientific (Thank you ative cultures! I've cured cancer in my G.I. Joe dolls.) lives are now complete. Keep up the amasing work and don't lose heart. GOD makes you make yogurt. and that...is good.
-Dingo