(no subject)
The three laws of irony & masturbation:
1st: Upon awakening in the morning with an erection, and suitably dealing with that erection, upon entering the rest of the world, you will find that the you are completely alone in the house and could satisfy your urges with internet smut, but, if you do not satisfy your urges before entering the world at large, you will find that the house is fully occupied.
2nd: If you are alone, and feel the need to masturbate, but do not know when others will return home, and you decide not to, you will find that you did have enough time to do it. The opposite is also true: If you decide to masturbate, other people will arrive home long before you are done.
3rd: If you prepare your masturbatory environment with a receptacle to catch any wayward ejaculate, it will not be needed, but if you do not, it will be sorely needed, almost comically needed.
These laws are truth, and have been thoroughly tested and retested, to much general exhaustion
1st: Upon awakening in the morning with an erection, and suitably dealing with that erection, upon entering the rest of the world, you will find that the you are completely alone in the house and could satisfy your urges with internet smut, but, if you do not satisfy your urges before entering the world at large, you will find that the house is fully occupied.
2nd: If you are alone, and feel the need to masturbate, but do not know when others will return home, and you decide not to, you will find that you did have enough time to do it. The opposite is also true: If you decide to masturbate, other people will arrive home long before you are done.
3rd: If you prepare your masturbatory environment with a receptacle to catch any wayward ejaculate, it will not be needed, but if you do not, it will be sorely needed, almost comically needed.
These laws are truth, and have been thoroughly tested and retested, to much general exhaustion