this is a mess/real hell is your life gone wrong
I like this post
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Originally posted by mongoosenoodles at this is a mess/real hell is your life gone wrong
new year resolutions, 2012
when robin willaims says, "she never won" in what dreams may come and i feel tear drops
on my hand. and i feel like an idiot. though
i am older now than i was, i am smarter. i am wishing for lightening on the water i am wishing for rain and waiting past cold and warmth of another year. that's how it works, it seems. fall. there is a white sky under which there was no sunset tonight. that's okay, noon to five
is the most difficult time for me.
so for a while, i will sleep
in the middle of my bed.
i will ask the right questions - like why
do we bother with vaccine locations. thank you for asking that, self. why don't you love me anymore? or rather,
why do you love me every once in a while?
i realize now how exhausting i am to be around. i realize now that i don't deserve what i want. at least
not yet. i realize now that i have nothing to give you. i have nothing to give myself
that's why i drive myself into these traps when i am alone
and awake.
i've got to get over this. not you. this. it doesn't matter.
these are some of the feelings i have:
i ran every day in the summer
passed the body of a dead fox. watched the flesh slowly peel off
watched the earth compensate. i think about it all the time.
this is the last night in the house i was born in i am walking around mason every day as if it is still my orientation when i kept repeating in my head hell is other people hell is other people i want you to be here or i don't want to be here at all. fuck
every afternoon i pace through the house turning on every light as if i am calling the sun. desperate day, bones
like a ritual of death and the grass gone underneath
as if it worked.
.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Originally posted by mongoosenoodles at this is a mess/real hell is your life gone wrong
new year resolutions, 2012
when robin willaims says, "she never won" in what dreams may come and i feel tear drops
on my hand. and i feel like an idiot. though
i am older now than i was, i am smarter. i am wishing for lightening on the water i am wishing for rain and waiting past cold and warmth of another year. that's how it works, it seems. fall. there is a white sky under which there was no sunset tonight. that's okay, noon to five
is the most difficult time for me.
so for a while, i will sleep
in the middle of my bed.
i will ask the right questions - like why
do we bother with vaccine locations. thank you for asking that, self. why don't you love me anymore? or rather,
why do you love me every once in a while?
i realize now how exhausting i am to be around. i realize now that i don't deserve what i want. at least
not yet. i realize now that i have nothing to give you. i have nothing to give myself
that's why i drive myself into these traps when i am alone
and awake.
i've got to get over this. not you. this. it doesn't matter.
these are some of the feelings i have:
i ran every day in the summer
passed the body of a dead fox. watched the flesh slowly peel off
watched the earth compensate. i think about it all the time.
this is the last night in the house i was born in i am walking around mason every day as if it is still my orientation when i kept repeating in my head hell is other people hell is other people i want you to be here or i don't want to be here at all. fuck
every afternoon i pace through the house turning on every light as if i am calling the sun. desperate day, bones
like a ritual of death and the grass gone underneath
as if it worked.
.