(no subject)
Somewhere along the way, I have lost sight of myself. It is interesting how you can live without really living... exist, without really feeling, and see without ever opening your eyes. I feel like I am about to bust out of my skin, dying to do something more and too scared to do it. It's funny how life can go on while you're trapped in the backseat, and when you realize it, it's too late to turn around. Nothing to do but look back, and wonder "what if" and try to remember how the hell you got to where you are. I remember having dreams, dreams that I never felt were bigger than me, and now seem to consuming to have ever been realistic. I feel like a spec of dust roaming aimlessly in the dark, without any useful purpose. Some days I just want to drive until my car will go no further, scream until my voice goes silent, and cry until there is not a drop of water left inside my body. I should be happy right were I am. Things are not chaotic, they are quite the opposite. I can't explain it.
and then i run out of words to explain this mood i am in. it just is, and i just am.
and then i run out of words to explain this mood i am in. it just is, and i just am.