First week = fail
Haven't done so well thus far with the nicotine patches. It curbs the chemical craving, but not the ingrained habits and associations. I've tried chewing gum to substitute the smoking. But, in the first place, I hate chewing gum because it makes my jaw hurt after a few minutes. Suckers are a little better. Although I'll need so many of the damned things that it'll rot my whole freakin' mouth by the time I'm over with it. This shit is tough. *sigh*
Today is the closest to a successful day as I've had thus far. I've managed to strain by with only two and a half cigarettes. My usual intake before starting was ten to twelve. And up until now, patches and all, I've only been able to knock myself down to four to six. So today is a hopeful day, despite the past week. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this is the trend.
My biggest problem is filling in the blank moments of my day. If I can keep busy, I'm fine. It's when I've run out of things to do that I really lose my resolve and reach for the pack. Especially at night after everyone else has gone to sleep, and it's just me, myself and the pc (or the paper/pencil). And especially if I'm working on art or writing. When I hit a wall, I break for a cigarette to ease my frustrations. That's my biggest weakness. So, what do I do? Stop writing and drawing? Uh-uh. Ain't gonna happen.
Because...
I'm in. Need some finishing done. I've set my total count goal to 73,340 to compensate for what I already have. That still gives me 50,000 to complete for the month.
Now, if only the head charas would come to my rescue. *glares at them*
Today is the closest to a successful day as I've had thus far. I've managed to strain by with only two and a half cigarettes. My usual intake before starting was ten to twelve. And up until now, patches and all, I've only been able to knock myself down to four to six. So today is a hopeful day, despite the past week. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this is the trend.
My biggest problem is filling in the blank moments of my day. If I can keep busy, I'm fine. It's when I've run out of things to do that I really lose my resolve and reach for the pack. Especially at night after everyone else has gone to sleep, and it's just me, myself and the pc (or the paper/pencil). And especially if I'm working on art or writing. When I hit a wall, I break for a cigarette to ease my frustrations. That's my biggest weakness. So, what do I do? Stop writing and drawing? Uh-uh. Ain't gonna happen.
Because...
I'm in. Need some finishing done. I've set my total count goal to 73,340 to compensate for what I already have. That still gives me 50,000 to complete for the month.
Now, if only the head charas would come to my rescue. *glares at them*