RP LOG with doesntwaltz & nevergonnamiss | Home Sweet Home

[tacticalmind]

[Follows THIS]

It was true that Rob had been a little distracted since Mike had fleetingly revealed that he had been shot in the leg. He wasn't brooding on it or anything, especially not since they had reached Texas and saw with their own eyes that Mike was as okay as someone who nearly had their foot blown off could be. It just seemed to tug them back down to reality a little again, and it was a reminder of how dangerous their job was. Mike, an army medic who didn't even fight on the frontline, had come home with a war injury. It didn't seem right. Their choice to bypass their current road trip route and go to Texas was a no-brainer. As soon as they knew Mike was heading home to see his folks to recuperate, they changed course immediately. It wasn't like they had anything specifically planned anyway. They were just rolling with it, taking each day, seeing where the road took them. They camped a lot, balancing it out with some nights in hotels or guest houses so they could get a long shower and a proper bed to sleep in. They had been gone a few weeks now and as far as Rob was concerned, they were just scratching the surface.


But there was now another unexpected turn, and as they sat in the car park of the bus station that night, Rob drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, his blue eyes trawling back and forth over the scene beyond the car window. He laughed softly and then pressed his lips together. "Brings back memories..." he admitted quietly. "Usually on the other side of the fence with this type of thing. It feels strange. Ain't missing it, though. The bus ride at the end here is the worst leg of the journey home. Seems so long, like you'll never quite reach the destination, and all the views outside feeling like someone's running some boring film strip of the same few trees and rocks over and over. You keep thinking how everyone will look, if anyone's changed. Wondering if you'll tap into the stamina to celebrate being home with them." He narrowed his eyes just a little in thought and cleared his throat. "I used to be so excited about seeing her... like it would all be worth it and she would want to spend time with me and be with me, hug me like she never wanted to let go. Never happened. Hell, the last time she even whined about how I had to come home on a Thursday night and was making her miss Grey's Anatomy on the TV." He gave another tiny snort of a laugh. "I'd been out there so long, I didn't even know what Grey's Anatomy was."

Leila's eyes were on Rob's face, and not on the scene outside. She knew the bus would arrive soon, but right then she didn't have eyes for anything but her husband. She reached out to rest her hand on his leg, and gave it a gentle squeeze. "You weren't missing much, trust me. I never could watch that show, and now I really don't want to bloody watch that show. You deserved better. You deserve the best. I just want to be able to give it to you. Fuck TV. If you're coming home, there's nowhere else I want to be other than waiting to greet you. I flew to Germany to be with you." She gave his leg another squeeze, her gaze finally leaving his face when she heard the sound of a low rumble and looked out of the window to see the huge bus rolling in. "His glass is home," she murmured cryptically as thoughts of Mike popped into her head. For all his doubts, it seemed like the universe had other plans for the wounded medic.

Outside, the bus rolled to a stop, the engine rattling as it became idle. There was a loud hiss as the doors were open, and people started to pile out. Charlie waited until she could move freely. She knew she was home even if her head felt like it was swamped in marshmallow. Everything seemed like it was happening to someone else, and not to her. She'd slept all the way on the flight over, then she'd slept for most of the bus trip. She'd only woken up about twenty minutes ago, the sight of Texas outside her window bringing tears to her eyes. And now it smelled like Texas, too.

Well, it smelled like an oily bus station but she didn't care. She slowly dragged herself up onto her feet and trudged down the steps onto the concrete. It wasn't sand, so it was a start. Her folks hadn't been able to meet her, but she didn't mind. Truth was she thought it was safer if she was alone with her thoughts for a while. She reached up to rub her fingers against her eyes and waited once again for the throng of people to dissipate so she could get to her duffel bag. Just as she picked it up she glanced across the terminal and froze at the sight of an all too familiar car.

Rob shot Leila a look and then did a double-take at the glass comment. He had no idea what she was on about, and sometimes he still got a sense he wasn't privy to some sort of Aussie slang that if he asked for an explanation, he would end up with some questionable explanation. He had come to learn what the Aussie sense of humour was like, and even though his own was right up there, that didn't mean he always understood what Leila and her cousins were on about when they got together sometimes. He laughed and shook his head, holding his hand up as he took his seatbelt off. "I ain't asking," he decided in amusement. "I don't want any weird visuals that's gonna all give me more performance anxiety. Speaking of, I think I'm getting chafing," he added with a smirk and opened the door, stepping out.

As soon as he did, he managed to catch sight of Charlie amongst the rest of cammo haze. He stood there for a moment, watching to see how she would react and then stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans and sauntered over to her. "Think ya' can help me, ma'am?" he drawled, glancing around covertly. "I'm lookin' for a gal who might be interested in a threesome. Only, she's gotta come with some interestin' skills there." He dropped his voice. "I gotta fetish for flexible chicks."

Leila just grinned. She had yet to share all the details of her conversation with Mike. Not since Rob had been a little quiet about his shooting. Not that she could blame him. Mike had reacted the same way when Rob was first missing, and then injured. She climbed out of the car a few moments after, letting Rob find Charlie first. She still had no idea what the woman looked like. When Rob had found who she was looking for, Leila hung back for a moment and lifted up the camera she'd been nursing in the car to take a photo.

Charlie blinked as a flash went off behind Rob, her mind taking a moment to first process his questionable pick up line, and then to process the blonde woman. His wife, the photographer. Once that clicked into place, she looked at Rob. She started to smile like she was going to reply, but then all of a sudden the floodgates opened and she threw her arms around him in a tight hug. It was her friend. He was here. She had someone to greet her, and to bring her back down to Earth. Only right then all she could manage was sobbing. He was alive, and he was here. She could hug him. "You're real," she choked out.

Rob was nearly knocked off his feet by the force of the hug, but he managed to catch his balance without falling on his ass in the gutter. That really wasn't the look he was aiming for in any situation, especially not in front of a bunch of soldiers. He hugged her tightly and rubbed her back. "Well, yeah, I think my wife can vouch for that one. Ain't any fake dude who'd get a floppy dick in the middle of the most important sex of his life," he joked, keeping a hold of her for as long as she needed it. "It's okay, darlin'. Yeah? It's gonna be okay. You're home now. All done. Time to chill out and relax," he murmured close to her ear, feeling himself well up unexpectedly as the familiar feelings shadowed inside him. He knew what she was feeling.

Leila slipped the camera strap around her shoulder, and let the camera rest at her side as she just watched. She had no idea how either of them would really feel, but she knew what it was like to be the person welcoming a soldier home, and she knew what it was like to watch them readjust. She blinked back sudden tears, and gave Charlie a small smile when the woman's eyes opened again. "Definitely real, but the floppy dick's probably a story for another time."

Charlie snorted a little with amusement, only a tiny bit aware of the fact she was making a mess of Rob's jacket. She couldn't help it, she was just so relieved to see him. She buried her face back in against his shoulder for a long moment as the sobs returned again, her body shaking and trembling from the force of the emotional onslaught. She didn't care if everyone was looking at her, she just needed to let it out. When she felt like the crying had stopped for at least the time being, Charlie lifted her head and gave Rob a watery smile. "She's really pretty. Lord only knows what she's doing with your ugly mug."

"Pretty?" Rob returned, glancing back at Leila with a cheeky grin. "Pretty? She ain't pretty. What are you on about? She's fucking gorgeous!" he insisted, his eyes sweeping over his wife's body before he met her eyes again with a wink. He was still rubbing his hand up and down Charlie's arm, maintaining some contact, knowing that some familiar human touch could make all the difference. It was always going to be a shock to the system trying to adjust back to a normal life. Some just rolled back in like a duck to water, but Rob had never been on of those. It always took time. Just lately, he was more shellshocked than usual.

Leila smirked at her husband as she winked back. She was trying not to think of the next time they'd try making a baby again, not sure Charlie really needed to witness them get down and dirty when she'd only just got back home. She moved closer, and took her husband's free hand as she linked their fingers together. "He's being far too biased. I think all this fresh air has gone to his head. I'm Leila, and it's a real pleasure to meet you. Rob and Mike have told me quite a bit about you."

Charlie's smile faltered as she watched the interaction between Rob and his wife. She wanted it. She wanted someone to look at her like that. And deep down she knew she wanted it to be Mike. "Is he okay?" she found herself asking, only remembering after a moment to hold her hand out to shake Leila's. "Nice to meet you, too. But is he okay? Mike. Is he here? Did he make it back?"

Rob draped his arm around Charlie's shoulders and started to slowly lead her in the direction of his car. At first, he was quiet for a few moments, trying to figure out if he was supposed to fill in all the gaps for her or wait and let Mike do it for her. "I think he's just real tired, darlin'," he finally settled on, but then pulled his lips to the side. She wouldn't be satisfied with that, he realised. If someone had told Leila that he, himself, was 'just real tired' when she asked about him when he was hurt, she would probably have decked them for being a pain in the ass. "We ain't told him you were on your way home. Thought it might be a nice surprise."

Leila reached across Rob as they walked to give Charlie's hand a soft squeeze. "I think he needs the good kind of surprises now." She couldn't wait to see what would happen when Mike realised he had his glass right there in front of him. She was trying not to bounce as they walked, and moved to take the back seat of the car so that Charlie could sit in the front with Rob. She gave her husband a kiss on the cheek as she rubbed his chest."

Charlie let out a sigh, realising she'd been hanging out to hear news about Mike. She'd heard nothing since the note. She'd had no idea if the surgery had gone well, or if he had made it back home. She didn't even know if he'd got the photos her Mom had sent through. She wiped the drying tears from her cheeks, and gave her duffel to Leila when she held her hands out for it. She looked back at Rob and nodded. "Okay, yeah. Surprise. I miss him, Robbo. I miss him a lot. He's all I could think about. I didn't want to... I know it's not... I know it's hard when we're both... I just want to see him." She shrugged. "Want to see you too, of course. I missed you a lot. What are you even doing here, anyway? I didn't think you were near Texas. What about your road trip?"

When Rob sat back in his car, he leaned over and started digging around in his glove compartment, soon yanking out a large brown paper bag and dropping it into Charlie's lap. "Courtesy of my Mom. Care package. I ain't even sure what's in there. She told me not to look 'cause it was girls' business, so I'm guessing it ain't socks and jocks like she sends me over there," he said with a smirk and flipped the compartment shut again, but not until a packet of condoms accidentally came flying out too. He gave a small snort and wound down his window, tossing them outside before starting up the engine. "Alright... okay. He got home okay. The operation repaired some of the tendons in his knee and it sounds like it was a freaky entrance through his thigh. No exit, though, so they had to dig the bullet out. We were almost at Little Rock to see my folks, so we hung around there for a few days til we moved on to Texas to Mike's family. We were there when he was brought home, private chauffeur and all. Still, since he's been back, he's just... well, the only way I can describe it is tired. He doesn't seem much of anything either way. Sleeps a lot. He's only been back about four days."

Leila laughed softly in the back seat as she watched the condoms get tossed, sharing a glance with Rob when he looked at her from the rearview mirror. Truth was she'd be happy to go without condoms for the rest of their marriage. It would be like one constant trying for a child. And if she got knocked up, then they still wouldn't need them. Hell, they'd probably wind up with a little army of their own. She wondered how Luke and Andy would react to seeing her surrounded by kids. "Doesn't mean he won't wanna see you though," she felt the need to add. "Just means you might have to spend some quiet time together."

"I know how he feels, so it's fine," Charlie admitted. "I haven't really stopped sleeping since I got on the plane. I just... I feel like I'm moving through everything slower than usual. I just keep waiting for the next moment I'm going to be asleep again. I can't help it. As soon as they told me I was coming home, that was it. I just felt like I'd let go of this huge weight, and I could just finally rest."

Rob fell silent, even if he didn't mean to. He got into the line of cars to wait their turn to exit the bus station and his fingers curled and uncurled around the steering wheel. Between Arkansas and Texas, he had encountered quite a few people who were seeing him for the first time since the news came that he had been AWOL in Afghanistan. He had dealt with it pretty well, politely answered any questions, but it was all being brought back home and he was processing it a lot slower than he probably normally would. Although Mike's injuries hadn't been extensive and had been corrected by surgery that would soon heal, Rob had thrown up after receiving the news his friend had been shot out in the field. His brain dragged him back to a strange dejavu place that he only started to absorb after he took some time after the initial shock. He was on medication, too. Anti-anxiety meds and anti-depressants the Army psych had given him to help it after his first assessment. He might have managed to get back up, but he was still a fallen soldier somewhere in his psyche. The tiredness Charlie was describing still plagued him some days, even months after he had been pulled from Afghanistan. He remembered the conversation he had with Mike that first night his friend was home in Texas. Mike admitted to him that he would have died to save the young soldier's life he had been trying to help. He also admitted to feeling weak for the first time in his life, but had jokingly asked Rob not to tell anyone. Rob had smirked back, but to him it wasn't a joke. He understood the truth behind the jest. Weakness was one of the hardest things for a soldier to admit to. The only thing was, it was for the soldier to admit, not anyone else, and Rob knew he couldn't tell Charlie what Mike had said. It had to be something that Mike revealed to her himself, because it was an intimacy and vulnerability that should be chosen to be shared. He turned the car out onto the main road and put his foot down on the accelerator to pick up the speed right to the limit, winding down the window to feel the air on his face a little. "Lucky it's only his leg. 'Least you can still ride him," he finally offered and threw her a small smirk before his eyes were locked back on the road ahead. "A good hard fuck, good stress relief."

Leila was still watching what she could see of her husband's face in the mirror and leaned forward to give his shoulder a squeeze as she slipped her hand down the side of the seat. Her gaze shifted to Charlie, and she smiled. "A lot to be said for sexual healing."

Charlie nodded absent-mindedly as she looked outside the window. It was still hitting her that she was surrounded by cars, and life. By people that weren't completely in cammo, or Arab dress. She was still getting used to the fact that it wasn't just desert outside, either. Or that there wasn't the sound of gunfire, or yelling. Her ears felt like they were ringing with the sudden change in sounds. She bit her lip and looked back at Rob and his wife. "I'm not sure I have the energy," she admitted with a shaky smile. "I just want to see him... touch him. Maybe just curl up against him. Weird, huh? Couple months ago I wouldn't have even believed I'd see him again after all these years, let alone be falling for him again. I didn't even think I'd be coming home."

Rob was frowning a little, silent yet again. He seemed intent on the road, but there was more to it than that. He glanced briefly at Charlie and cleared his throat. "I wouldn't count your chickens, Charlie," he murmured, wondering if his mom had put any booze in that care package, because he could use a quick shot or five. "I ain't sure he's gonna get into anything if you don't get a transfer out East. Distance is... he ain't seeming so confident about it. I know him, I've been talking to him. I just know in my gut he'll be thinking the only reason you're even in the same place right now is because he's injured."

Charlie was still listening, but she had finally started to open the care package from Rob's mom. She felt the tears well again as she caught sight of the dark chocolate, perfume, and other little knick-knacks. She blinked her eyes rapidly as she sniffed, and reached into the bag to fish out one of the chocolates. "I know, I think that's part of why I'm so pissed at myself. I knew about the distance and everything... But I'm home. His leg didn't have anything to do with that, it was just time. I guess he'd be in New York though if he wasn't hurt, right? Shit. Can I at least just give him a damn hug?"

"Hope so," was Rob's reply and he met Leila's gaze in the rearview mirror. "There were some days I tried to push Leila away. I ain't really sure where Mike's head is right now. Probably just relieved to be outta there. Still, heart might be home but the head can stay over there, you know? I just know it's different for him, he ain't a fighter, he's a medic. We see bad things, but he's gotta get in there and try to pluck out the shreds that can be saved. It isn't like this was a battle where you're fighting to get ahead, it was the aftermath of that. Some lads' last chances out there. Gotta be a mind fuck sometimes. We come home to get away from fighting, but he comes home to get away from helping people?" He gave his head a small shake. "Ignore me, I tend to ramble these days. Brain gets away from me. Thankfully not during sex," he had to joke.

"Oh, I don't know," Leila murmured as she smirked and winked at him in the mirror. "I'm sure your mind does go somewhere while we have sex. It's just beneficial to the act. You did try and push me away, but lucky for you us Aussies are made of tough stuff, we don't take shit from anyone. Mike will probably try, but you know what?" Leila asked Charlie as she looked at the other woman. "It helps them to know that you aren't going anywhere. Even when they are being stubborn pricks. They don't want to be seen as weak, or hurting, or whatever... but the whole thing of it is that they still need someone to take care of them, comfort them. And there's no shame in that. Just takes their brain a little while to catch up."

Charlie nodded slowly, and bit down on the bittersweet chocolate. She let out a sigh as her head fell back against the headrest. "Of course it's a headfuck. It's a huge one. Just like for us it takes some adjustment to not be waiting for someone to give us orders to kill, or do whatever. I can't imagine what it's like for him... If there's any guilt at play for being back here when he probably feels like he's still needed over there. That more soldiers could be saved if he was."

"It ain't about being seen as weak," Rob mumbled and put a hand up to scratch the back of his head. He didn't want to get aggravated. Once that set it, it was hard to shake, and he would inevitably feel the urge to just get blind drunk again, which was a bad idea considering Mike let him in on the secret that he was rather loose-lipped when he was boozed up. "It's about knowing you are," he finally added quietly.

Leila fell quiet in the back seat as her gaze dropped to the camera now sitting in her lap. She fingered the shutter release before she sat forward again, and slipped her hand down the side of Rob's seat to rest her hand on his arm.

"We're not invincible," Charlie murmured. "I wish we were. It would make it so much easier. I just... It would make us machines."

Rob shifted his arm so he could give Leila's hand a squeeze, still driving easily with one hand on the wheel. "He just..." He paused and sighed heavily. "He coulda lost a leg. And I know, I know. He didn't, he's lucky. He's alive. All that. You still can't switch the what-ifs off in your mind. They still plague you at night when you're trying to sleep and you feel the pain settling in the weak parts of you. You can still feel the tiredness when you shouldn't be tired at all. He ain't be ready to talk a whole lot yet. I let him know I was there if he needed to, but when he's sleeping, we know he needs it. He's in surprisingly good spirits. Guess that's why I'm sorta nervous," he admitted.

Leila frowned a little as she looked between the backs of Rob's and Charlie's heads. "Why is the good spirits making you nervous?"

Charlie cleared her throat after swallowing a bite of chocolate and glanced behind her at Leila. "Higher the spirits, harder the crash. He's been out there a long while with not much down time between it. Being out there just messes with your head. Sometimes we react in different ways. One moment we'll be fine the next... not so much."

"Or no crash at all, just loads of pretending there ain't anything wrong until you wake up one day and realise you've lost yourself..." Rob added quietly and then reached over to put the radio on low when the dull silence of the car started to shit him. "It's my fault Mikey didn't get to switch off last time. He didn't have a chance."

"Rob," Leila started quietly as she looked at him in the mirror. "It's not your fault at all. You didn't plan getting hurt. You didn't plan needing everyone around you like that. Don't blame yourself. And Mike never would have let you go through that without him."

Charlie closed her eyes for a moment as she focused on the radio, grateful that Rob had done something to kill the silence. It had been getting on her nerves too, the ringing still present in her ears. "We all need anchors. Someone that makes sure we don't get lost... To give us a reason not to."

Rob gripped the steering wheel again and then forced himself to loosen up a little, drawing in a deep breath and then letting it out slowly. "Mikey made an error. Or at least someone in his unit did. The rifle should've been checked and a clear called before anyone approached the solider. He ain't talking about it, so I don't know what went down out there. I'm just scared it was him, and maybe because he was tired and... felt like he had to get the guy outta danger. Someone made a mistake. Ain't no random accidents happening out on the frontline. They're intended or they're errors."

Leila drew her eyebrows together before she lifted her glasses to rub at her her eyes briefly. "He only said that the rifle went off for no real reason. Well, not no reason. Just an accidental pulling of the trigger, I guess. He was more in love with the morphine than the finer details. Just kept trying to tell me he was okay. And that he didn't want to hope for a glass."

"Rob's right," Charlie murmured. "Ain't no accidents on the front-line. We can't afford 'em. Something always makes a dude's finger pull the trigger, even if it's stress, or fear. Mikey was just in the right place at the wrong time. We can't blame him for wanting to help the guy when he was wounded. It's what he does. Still, the clear should've been called, but maybe no one was around to call it. Glass?"

Rob swore softly under his breath, not exactly sure why he was even getting pissed off. Hopefully Mike's Dad had a six pack in the fridge when he got home. "Medic's don't go out alone. Ever. No matter what. They'd be fucking targets if they did, they're unarmed. He's telling the same monotonous story over and over. I'd say he'll have to talk about it sooner or later, but it ain't the truth. He might not ever want to." He glanced at Leila in the rearview mirror with a small frown. The glass thing was starting to get to him too. When a Lady GaGa song came on the radio, he flicked the switch to another station, putting something on that was probably way less popular but he didn't want to try and tolerate crap music too.

Leila raised an eyebrow at him questioningly, trying to read his mind from the back seat of the car. She realised just how much she didn't like not being able to see his whole expression. As much as his eyes gave away, the little twitches of his mouth did, too.

Charlie shrugged a shoulder as she turned back to look out the window. "We all got things none of us wanna talk about it. Even if it would help us too, sometimes it's easier just not to relive it. Or to keep it in our nightmares, and not force it on anyone else." She let out a heavy sigh and a tired laugh. "Fuck, would you listen to us? I either need a huge drink, or I just need to cheer the fuck up."

Rob looked over at Charlie before he had to turn his eyes back to the road. Truth was, he was just finding it hard to think like her. Something was going on with Mike and it was niggling away in his gut. "Go ahead," he murmured with a small shrug, indicating she was more than welcome to cheer the fuck up if she wanted to. "I'll just put Lady GaGa back on, shall I? At least it can be a distraction for not talking about things." He looked back at Leila. "Or you could explain to her about the glass metaphor. I'll fight the urge to drive to the nearest pub."

Leila held up her hand. "Hey, I don't want Lady GaGa. I don't think anyone in this car wants Lady GaGa. And if you want to drive to the nearest pub there's nothing stopping you. Luckily I get to remain the designated driver no matter what since I'm also the designated baby incubator. I'm not chancing a drink. The glass thing is just... Mike can't see the romantic glass as half full. His optimism's gone. Especially where, ah... certain soldiers are concerned."

Charlie frowned and twisted in her seat to look at Leila. "You mean me?"

Leila gave a nod.

Charlie stared at the other woman for a long moment. "Shit. It's the fucking distance thing again... Chickens and glasses. My love life has turned into a fucked up magic trick. I think I've changed my mind, and second the bar idea."

"I ain't going to no fucking bar. Besides Mrs Austin being worried we ain't home when she expects, booze fucks with my already fucked brain and I say stupid friggen things," Rob said with a small snort. His phone buzzed with a text message and he picked it up from the compartment under his radio to get it. It was from Mike. "Speak of the devil, and to make a point here, he ain't ever been a glass is half full dude when it comes to relationships. The optimism ain't gone, it hasn't been there since he enlisted."

"Is he alright?" Charlie asked just as Leila leaned forward to try and look at Rob's phone.

Rob glanced over at her, eyebrow raised. "He's fine. But that just must mean he's optimistic, right?" he asked with a hint of challenge to her in his tone. He didn't let her see the screen and typed in a quick response so he could go back to focusing on the driving. "He's asking me if I'm okay. His Mom told him I needed fresh air."

"No," Charlie responded as she glared at him slightly. "I wasn't the one talking about optimism. I mean, I might still have a little, doesn't mean he has to. Just means I have to sit on eggs and glasses, and chickens, and whatever."

Rob shrugged again. "Maybe not, but you don't want to believe he made a mistake... or maybe even purposefully caused the accident," he threw back. There was tension, and he did feel guilty that Leila was going to get caught in the crossfire of it, but it was the downside of marrying into military. Rob didn't even know why he was feeling like he was on edge right now. It wasn't his end of deployment.

Charlie's eyebrows went up as she looked at Rob. "What? Where the fuck did that even come from? I thought we were talking about his romantic life, not the accident. Do you really... you think he purposefully caused the accident?"

Leila just stayed quiet in the back seat, not sure she was ever going to be able to come up something to say to diffuse the situation. She just wanted to know what was making Rob act this way because when they'd gone to pick up Charlie he had been fine, just quiet. Then she let out a rush of air as she ran over that thought again. He'd seemed fine. She made a mental note to try and get him to talk to her about it later.

Rob's eyes remained locked on the road, hands on the wheel. Driving always kept him grounded, even if there had been the odd weird moment on the road trip when he remembered back to just how fucked up the scenario with the stupid race had been that led to his court-martial. It still pissed him off. "Why not? Soliders contemplate doing it all the time to get outta there..." he said calmly.

"Did you?" Leila asked as she finally found her voice.

"Yeah, I did," Rob said and cleared his throat as he had to slow down at an entrace to town they had to pass by. She had arrived in Houston, and it was over an hour drive to Mike's home town. He hadn't meant for things to take this turn, but Charlie's presence was probably inevitably going to dredge up things Mike's presence already was scratching the surface of. He met Leila's eyes in the rearview mirror. "After we got married."

This time it was Charlie's turn to play awkward spectator as she tried not to make a sound. Truth was she got what Rob was talking about even if she wasn't sure she'd ever truly hurt herself to get home. Even the cut she'd had nearly a couple months ago hadn't been enough to get her home. She didn't actually like the thought of what wound would be enough to get her home.

Leila's lips formed a thin line as she fought the sudden well of tears in her eyes as she held Rob's gaze until he had to concentrate on the road again. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Sometimes you just... have enough. Once you start thinking about home, it can make or break you." It was times like this that Rob wished he was a smoker to give him something to do with his hands as a distraction. He took his hand from the wheel just briefly so he could adjust his wedding ring with his thumb absentmindedly. "Once you start thinking you have a reason to... not live to serve. You have nothing to be sorry about, darlin'. It's just one of those things. But I ain't gonna lie. I was thinking about how I could manage it when I... it... was taken outta my hands. Maybe punishment by Karma does exist. It's just stupid, though. Thinking back on it, I don't even know what to think anymore."

They pulled up at a set of lights and Leila lifted herself out of her seat to press her lips to the side of Rob's face as she nuzzled his cheek briefly. "I love you," she murmured against his ear. "More than I could ever really get you to understand, and I'm still sorry you were ever in a position to need to consider that kind of... exit strategy. Maybe Karma was just trying to make sure you didn't live to regret anything."

Rob's nose scrunched up and he pulled his lips to the side. "It did a pretty fucked up job of it, then," he said with a small snort as his phone buzzed again. "Jesus, he better not start pumping me for details, I'm too tired to lie. Can't he play solitaire on his laptop or something?" He picked up his phone again and read Mike's message that was along the lines of wanting to know where he got fresh air at this time of night and why wasn't he invited along for the ride. "Aw, jeez. He's asking why we didn't ask him to come along." Rob quickly punched in 'baby making' and hit send. Hopefully it would placate his friend for a little while longer until they made it home.

Leila caught a glimpse of what he'd sent back and kissed his cheek again. If she had any say about it, there was definitely going to be baby making later, but she realised the mood for Rob might have been killed. She just needed that connection with him again, and maybe a chance to remind him he was safe home. She dropped back into her seat as the lights changed and smiled a little. "Best laid plans, Little Rock."

Charlie was actually in danger of smiling for the first time since she'd got off the bus. "He's always been like that. Remember the surprise party we tried to throw him years ago? Mike's never going to let anyone have secrets. He doesn't even do it on purpose. Just has this way."

Rob shook his head in amusement. "Pointless, the whole thing. He was always going to find out about it. He's never one to push for information, but he worries if he thinks we're hiding something wrong with us. Then we start getting panicky about the covert lying to keep the secret and start fucking up until the secret just comes out anyway. Still, he was sleeping when we left, so he must be bored now. His mom will have to entertain him for a lil while." He knew right then baby making was something he definitely needed later, and a baby had nothing to do with it. He realised he had let himself get worked up again before he could halt it. It didn't happen as often these days as it did when he first got home, but it could still creep up on him and take him down before he knew what was happened. He also knew that if he let go of the steering wheel, his hands would be shaking. Baby making would help ground him again, focus those adrenaline rushes that, according to the psych, caused the anxiety and anger fits from the PTSD. Sex was a much better outlet, as far as Rob was concerned, and it didn't leave him feel like he was teetering on a scary edge all over again.

Charlie started to take down her hair now she was getting more used to the idea she was home, and not still on duty. Her teeth caught her bottom lip for a moment, and she tried to ignore the clench of her stomach as the nerves started to set in at seeing Mike. Neither of them were probably in the greatest of head spaces right at this moment, Charlie just hoped that somehow they'd find their way onto the same page, or at least the same book. "I just hope that this time he really doesn't mind the surprise."

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