RP LOG | With doesntwaltz [7th November 2009]
[Backdated to 7th November 2009]
The hospital discharged Rob home on three conditions. One, the home nurse visit every three days to assess his progress. Two, he rest as much as possible and only be ambulant on the crutches if it was absolutely vital. Three, he not be left alone. It all sounded pretty straightforward, but logistically, it could get awkward. Rob was glad to be allowed out of hospital, but he suddenly became painfully aware of how much obligation this was all laying on his new wife's shoulders and he started to get cold feet. Cold feet about going home, cold feet about coming back to America, cold feet about marrying her. It was just a post-traumatic anxiety and, of course, he didn't voice his opinions. He just tried to subtlely ask if he had to get discharged at that point, only to be told Leila had requested discharge as soon as he was able.
She wanted to take care of him.
Rob didn't know how he felt about that. The biggest portion of him was relieved, and happy. Happy they could be together, happy they could maybe start finding some sort of normalcy. But the other part of him felt guilty about being a burden. He doubted that she signed up for all this when she accepted his proposal. Fearing over a missing new husband at war was one thing, but nursing him back to health when he was incapable of very little? He was worried it was going to drive her away, and that was probably unfair to judge her before they even got off the mark. He was aware now how long they hadn't known each other and maybe this all really would make her change her mind. But she seemed to want it, and Rob didn't want to be an asshole and deny her offer, which is why he did indeed get discharged and sent home into Leila's care.
He managed to hold off his worries and pretend he was okay with the situation until they got home, and one-by-one, Rob's dignitiy was put on the line as he had to submit and let his wife help him. It wasn't easy. He wanted to be the one taking care of her and nurturing her, so it was a difficult mindset for him to find himself in. The broken ribs and being post-operative meant he could only use the crutches when vital, in other words, Leila had to help him get around most of the time. He was also still weak and unsteady, and again, the ribs meant things like getting dressed, undressed, twisting, bending, sitting, standing... he needed help with. He couldn't even sit or lie comfortably in some positions. He was getting better, though. It just wasn't something that was going to heal overnight. He was trying to settle and not move too much so she wasn't constantaly up and down for him, and he was almost starting to cope with the new environment, until he needed to use the bathroom. In the hospital, there had been nurses, bedpans, everything at easy nursing reach. Here, it was Leila... and he needed her help.
He let himself get to the point where he was almost exploding with desperation, which was probably stupid to start with. When he had to ask her for help, he was almost gagging on the words and his face was burning with embarrassment. This was the downside to them rushing to the altar to get married so soon after meeting. They hadn't had a chance to find that comfortable, no-holds-barred niche with each other and Rob couldn't shake the embarrassment. Leila was amazing. She didn't bat an eyelid and made some small jokes to keep at him at ease, telling him not to worry. Now that it was all said and done, she helped Rob sit back down on the sofa and get his foot elevated, and then sat down beside him, taking his hand. Rob bit down on his lip, clearing his throat and then finally met her eyes sheepishly. "I'm sorry. I handled that all really, really stupidly," he admitted, realising what a dick he had been with the situation. "I was... embarrassed. Which is stupid, because you're my wife, and this is the start of... a lot. Just ain't the start I would have wished for you."
Leila smiled at him, her hand squeezing his gently. She definitely hadn't hesitated in wanting to take care of Rob. All she had been thinking about for the past few weeks was taking care of him. She leaned over and kissed his temple. Of course there were doubts, but what else was she going to do? She was hardly going to divorce him for being blown up. She'd also grown up with Andy and Luke, the three cousins as close as siblings. There were no secrets about guys she didn't know.
Just secrets about Rob.
"What's your favourite colour?" she asked quietly, tilting her head as she watched him from behind her glasses. "Also, do you think you'd be able to use bottles in bed when you need to pee at night? I mean, if you'd rather get up to use the toilet we can do that. I'm just more thinking about you needing rest. I haven't thought of how to handle number twos yet. I can't even believe I'm calling it number twos, but I feel kind of disrespectful calling your shit... shit. I mean, your shit just got hurt defending this country." She squeezed his hand, getting rid of some lingering nerves as she rambled. "Also, I think we both know our start was never going to be conventional."
Rob looked at her and then started laughing, holding his side. He glanced at her again, as if making sure he heard her right, before continuing to laugh again. He couldn't help it, and maybe it's what he needed. "I, um..." he tried to begin, but he was still amused and it was hard to be dead serious. He put his fingers to his lips as he tried to stifle yet more laughing, and just managed to snort when he couldn't stop it. "I'm sorry. I'm going to be serious now, I am. Right... now." He tried to force his face back into a calm expression, but he was still smirking at her. "Favourite colour... green? Is that too predictable? And I don't usually need... um... number twos in the middle of the night. The bottles, well..." He scrunched his nose up. "I ain't sure I'm wanting to lay that on you. But then, I ain't gonna want to wake you either and I'd rather not nearly piss myself again. I have no idea. I didn't think about any of this. I was too busy stressing about you getting shouldered with all this."
Leila had started to laugh as well, his smiling infectious. Especially considering he'd been so serious since coming back. She lived for seeing the hints of smiles. Not that she could blame him. She could only imagine how he had to be feeling, and the things he was seeing when he closed his eyes. "I don't want you to stop laughing, but I bet your ribs do. I like seeing you smile. I know it's probably going to be hard for you to, so I guess I'm glad I just succeeded in making you laugh, even if it was accidental." She rest her head back against the sofa and shook her head. "No, green isn't too predictable. It suits you. Is that why you liked my costume so much the other night? I think we should try the bottles. And you don't have to worry about waking me up, okay? Promise? You don't need to stress about me. I'm not shouldered with anything."
Rob pressed his lips together, meeting her eyes. "Actually, that was probably more to do with the cleavage..." he told her, smiling again. "But it was an awesome costume. I ain't sure we'd get too far in those boots, though. But you could probably take out half the enemy with them." He let out a slow breath and took his hand away from his chest, settling back into the sofa. Hopefully he wouldn't have to move again for a little while, though his body was going to have to transition from rations, to hospital food, to normal food. It was only a matter of waiting and seeing. Maybe living on salad for a few days so things didn't get really messy and uncomfortable. "I ain't so sure I'm thinking as rationally as I usually do right now. It's strange, I still feel like me normally but when I feel myself reacting in certain ways and thinking certain things, I know I ain't quite right yet. I nearly asked them to keep me in so you didn't have to deal with all of this. Guess I still had some notion of romanticism in my head that we should be still courting or something. Which didn't involved you helping me get my pants down to use the bathroom. Maybe I just need a good smack in the head?"
Leila smirked as she cupped her breast with her free hand. "Good to know I actually do have some. Takes a lot of pushing up to get it like that... You know what, though? Best bra is human hands. Preferably yours, but I can be patient while you get your strength up." She watched Rob in concern as she waited to see if he was in much pain. Leila leaned forward to pick up his bottle of water, pointing the straw in his direction if he wanted some. "I would think the fact you actually recognise that you're not always yourself is a good sign. I don't need you to think rationally right now. I just need you to trust me. Just need to trust me, okay? I can do this. I want to do this. We can still be romantic. It's just going to have to fit in around this other stuff. Isn't there a law against smacking injured soldiers in the head?"
Rob's eyes inevitably dipped down to her chest and his tongue came to rest in the middle of his lower lip as his gaze lingered. It felt like a long, long time since he touched her there and he couldn't resist the urge, his hand resting softly beside hers as his fingertips brushed across the skin in the low cut neckline of her shirt. His touch was so light that it was almost giving him a sense that he was trying to make sure he wasn't dreaming it. Before he got hurt, he had definitely spent many hours in his bunk at night fantasising about her body. He even stopped trying to be covert about his jerking off as the days ticked by. He was used to the piss-pulling by his colleagues and it wasn't like they weren't indulging when they could too. "I do trust you. It's myself I don't trust right now. This is all really hard for me. I ain't ever had anyone take care of me before. Most times I've been injured has been on duty, but ain't nothing like this. I was sick a couple of years back during a posting, but again, it wasn't like this. It's like I'm waiting for you to realise it's too much hassle, or that you made a bad choice in marrying me. But I ain't stupid enough not to realise that's also the trauma talking mostly. Fear of loss, according to the shrink. And I don't know about that law, but I'm thinking one more hit to the head and my brain might fall outta my ears. It's lucky I ain't drooling or talking in tongues."
Leila's eyelids fluttered closed at the light touch as she exhaled slowly. It was hard not to react to any touch from Rob. She'd been craving it for so long, needing it, wanting it... Her nipples hardened as a shudder rolled down her spine and she bit her lip as she looked at him almost apologetically. She moved her hand so her fingers covered his and held his hand against her breast a little firmer. "You're not going to lose me, Littlerock. I'm in this for good. You even turn me on while you're all banged up. I think that's a for keeps kinda deal. I'm sorry no one's been there for you before. Far as I'm convered it's their loss. Especially if it was that bitch."
Rob knew he didn't have the strength for sex, but that didn't mean there could be nothing, right? Even if he hadn't been injured and just came home after service, they still would have been without this sort of intimacy for all those weeks. It was something you tried not to think about too much when you were apart, but as much as he hated to realise, if he hadn't been injured, they would be having extremely hot sex by now. That kinda pissed him off a little. Not for anything Leila had done, but for the situation. He let his fingers massage softly against her breast, familiarising himself with her body again, even if it was just some minor contact between them, feeling her nipple through the shirt and making a soft noise of contentment. "I thought it would turn you off," he admitted quietly. "I ain't sure why I've been so insecure. Guess it comes with the territory. We didn't have enough time to find each other before I left. We gotta start that now. I just wish I wasn't all weak and incapable of a lot of things right now."
Leila turned her face in towards him and let out a quiet moan. She wasn't about to try and jump him even if she desperately wanted to. She wanted him inside her again, she wanted to be fucked hard, and deep, and in all kinds of positions because she'd missed him, and she was being denied new couple sex as well as newlywed sex. It wasn't fair. But this... this was something, and it probably meant more to her because he was offering. "It doesn't, trust me. Nothing could. You've been through a traumatic experience. No one should be used to dealing with this, that's wrong. We can wait. We got this far. Besides, there's still the sponge baths."
"I feel like we should be naked," Rob admitted as he watched her face, resting his head against hers. "But then I'll just feel like I'm cheating you out of something more. Funny, before I left, your cousin mentioned to me about how he had to wait to be with Ali when he first met her. That it was worth the wait. I'm wondering how he did it, to be honest. I just never really thought I would be in this position. I mean, you do know what you're heading in to, and it's surrounding you twenty-four-seven out there, but you never quite stop and think that you'll be the next casualty, even if you try and plan for it. Now I just want to try and switch off from it all. Sure you ain't gonna get sick of being with me all this time? It should only be a week or so til I can start getting a lil more independence. If it's too much, you have to tell me. I'll call my Mom and Dad. They already want to meet you. They'd be happy to help."
"In all fairness she'd just had a baby, so it's understandable that she was tender. I won't be cheated. Naked time with you is just as nice as sex. Maybe even better. Okay, not better, just... intimate. We can go to bed if you want, strip off and just lie there." She brushed her hand softly against his arm, the idea of being naked with him definitely appealing. Definitely a good way to get started on the healing. "It's not going to be too much, and it will never be too much time with you. I'm a greedy whore where that's concerned. Maybe... maybe your parents should come here anyway. Help you work on switching everything off? Plus it would mean I meet them, and we don't have to worry about that. But give me a week of time that's just us?"
"Yeah, she had a lot going on, he said. He stuck by her. Ironically, he told me all this before I went away, almost like he knew. I ain't sure you two realise how similar you are, but it ain't escaped me, that's for sure. He helped Ali through her tough times, and you're helping me. He just didn't fly by the seat of his pants and propose on a whim," Rob said with a laugh, still holding his side so it didn't hurt. "I wouldn't change it, though. Not now. Even if I was anxious at the time I was doing the right thing. I'll call my folks. Maybe they can come for Christmas? Or Christmas Eve, if you have stuff planned with your family. They ain't wanting to intrude, but they're worried. Just want to make sure I'm okay. Telling them over the phone ain't always enough, you know? Especially when I'm well aware that my pain is coming out in my voice right now. It's hard to hide it. Naked in bed sounds nice... only, not like my body is all that appealing right now."
"Andrew proposing even now is the same as him flying by the seat of his pants. Actually, kissing Ali for the first time was almost as a big of a deal if you believe him. Did he tell you about him hiding in her bathroom with an erection because he was scared it wasn't appropriate?" Leila asked with a fond smirk as she thought about her cousin. "No, Christmas would be perfect. I'm not actually sure about Christmas plans at the moment, I have to admit my head hasn't really been in the game lately. I'll check with Luke to see what's going on. I'd rather your parents came so they knew I wasn't taking advantage, or being neglectful. They need to see you're in good hands. I get that." Leila raised her eyebrows. "Who says it's not appealing?"
Rob laughed softly, resting his head back against the chair as he watched her, amused. "Seriously? Poor guy. Ain't like we can help that when it happens, or hide it. I get it, though. You do kinda automatically think girls will just assume you want one thing if it accidentally happens. Did she ever find out about it? She must've thought he was ill or something. So, he ain't really the spontaneous sort? I guess getting married was a big thing, though. Ali said it was for when y'all came to visit at the hospital. They looked amazing, though. Very happy. And y'all married off now." He nodded. "I'll give them a call tonight. They told me to call them when I was up to it and not too tired. I did give them your number, though. Is that alright? Mom just gets antsy sometimes. She was worried you weren't okay, but I explained to her that you had a great family. I guess that's why I just assumed they'd all have Christmas plans on some level. It'd be your first Christmas with both your cousins in a while, right? I say? I mean, it's all bruised and some of them a really funky yellow colour, and there's the wound from the op and how is that all nice to look at?"
"He gave her the diarrhea excuse," Leila said, laughing softly. "Andrew panics in the face of being caught at something. So then he was of course the shit guy, and was worried she'd find him even more unattractive. I can't actually remember if he said she found out. Maybe it's a secret they'll share now they're married. The truth will finally come out. He's the accidentally spontaneous sort. I think a lot of the spontaneity went out the window when he slipped into alcoholism. He thinks everything through now. Or tries to." Leila smiled. "Yeah, of course it's okay. They should have my number. They're your parents. Not like they're strangers. And yeah, it would be the first Christmas for some time. I'll talk it over with Andrew, and Luke, but that doesn't mean your family can't get involved." She rest her head against her hand as she braced her elbow on the sofa. "It's nice to look at because it's you. I don't see anything horrible."
Rob pressed his lips together in amusement. "Hey, shit happens, right? Ali seems pretty down to earth. She probably just wanted to help. I think I probably would have just admitted I had a boner. Maybe blame it on nerve damage or a middle ear infection," he laughed. He paused in the conversation and just smiled softly at her for a few moments, not really alluding to what was going through his mind. "I know I've said it before, but humour me, okay? I'm sorry that you had to go through so much pain. I never wanted you to experience any of that. And I know it ain't directly my fault, and all that, but that doesn't mean I ain't stopped thinking how much this has all affected you, and your life. I can't repay any of it."
Leila was nodding in agreement, but her smile faltered as Rob apologised again. She looked down as she took his hand, and threaded her fingers through it. She could see both their wedding bands, Rob's being put back on as soon as he was home with her. Leila had never taken hers off. She lifted her eyes back up to meet his, and her smile had morphed into something warmer, and softer. "I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to say. I can say it's fine, and I understand, but it's true. I was hurting, but there was nothing you could do to control it. I don't want you thinking you need to repay it though, because you don't. I wouldn't have this any other way. Having you means I need to make some trade-offs, and I'd rather make them than lose you. You're my husband, Rob. Just let me be your wife."
Rob gave her a small smile and nodded. He wet his lips in lieu of saying anything further on the subject. He would just end up repeating himself and sounding like a broken record. There was still a lot he had to process and having an attentive wife that came without strings was one of them. Even in his previous marriage, he was still mostly on his own with everything. He cooked when he wasn't away, he cleaned the house, he sat at home with the TV for company while she continued on her merry little way. If he was ill, he took to his bed on his own so she wouldn't catch it. Getting used to having Leila there without question felt foreign at first but it was getting easier every day. "Let's go to bed, get naked," he murmured with another smile. "I need to remember how to be a husband."
Word Count | 3,899
The hospital discharged Rob home on three conditions. One, the home nurse visit every three days to assess his progress. Two, he rest as much as possible and only be ambulant on the crutches if it was absolutely vital. Three, he not be left alone. It all sounded pretty straightforward, but logistically, it could get awkward. Rob was glad to be allowed out of hospital, but he suddenly became painfully aware of how much obligation this was all laying on his new wife's shoulders and he started to get cold feet. Cold feet about going home, cold feet about coming back to America, cold feet about marrying her. It was just a post-traumatic anxiety and, of course, he didn't voice his opinions. He just tried to subtlely ask if he had to get discharged at that point, only to be told Leila had requested discharge as soon as he was able.
She wanted to take care of him.
Rob didn't know how he felt about that. The biggest portion of him was relieved, and happy. Happy they could be together, happy they could maybe start finding some sort of normalcy. But the other part of him felt guilty about being a burden. He doubted that she signed up for all this when she accepted his proposal. Fearing over a missing new husband at war was one thing, but nursing him back to health when he was incapable of very little? He was worried it was going to drive her away, and that was probably unfair to judge her before they even got off the mark. He was aware now how long they hadn't known each other and maybe this all really would make her change her mind. But she seemed to want it, and Rob didn't want to be an asshole and deny her offer, which is why he did indeed get discharged and sent home into Leila's care.
He managed to hold off his worries and pretend he was okay with the situation until they got home, and one-by-one, Rob's dignitiy was put on the line as he had to submit and let his wife help him. It wasn't easy. He wanted to be the one taking care of her and nurturing her, so it was a difficult mindset for him to find himself in. The broken ribs and being post-operative meant he could only use the crutches when vital, in other words, Leila had to help him get around most of the time. He was also still weak and unsteady, and again, the ribs meant things like getting dressed, undressed, twisting, bending, sitting, standing... he needed help with. He couldn't even sit or lie comfortably in some positions. He was getting better, though. It just wasn't something that was going to heal overnight. He was trying to settle and not move too much so she wasn't constantaly up and down for him, and he was almost starting to cope with the new environment, until he needed to use the bathroom. In the hospital, there had been nurses, bedpans, everything at easy nursing reach. Here, it was Leila... and he needed her help.
He let himself get to the point where he was almost exploding with desperation, which was probably stupid to start with. When he had to ask her for help, he was almost gagging on the words and his face was burning with embarrassment. This was the downside to them rushing to the altar to get married so soon after meeting. They hadn't had a chance to find that comfortable, no-holds-barred niche with each other and Rob couldn't shake the embarrassment. Leila was amazing. She didn't bat an eyelid and made some small jokes to keep at him at ease, telling him not to worry. Now that it was all said and done, she helped Rob sit back down on the sofa and get his foot elevated, and then sat down beside him, taking his hand. Rob bit down on his lip, clearing his throat and then finally met her eyes sheepishly. "I'm sorry. I handled that all really, really stupidly," he admitted, realising what a dick he had been with the situation. "I was... embarrassed. Which is stupid, because you're my wife, and this is the start of... a lot. Just ain't the start I would have wished for you."
Leila smiled at him, her hand squeezing his gently. She definitely hadn't hesitated in wanting to take care of Rob. All she had been thinking about for the past few weeks was taking care of him. She leaned over and kissed his temple. Of course there were doubts, but what else was she going to do? She was hardly going to divorce him for being blown up. She'd also grown up with Andy and Luke, the three cousins as close as siblings. There were no secrets about guys she didn't know.
Just secrets about Rob.
"What's your favourite colour?" she asked quietly, tilting her head as she watched him from behind her glasses. "Also, do you think you'd be able to use bottles in bed when you need to pee at night? I mean, if you'd rather get up to use the toilet we can do that. I'm just more thinking about you needing rest. I haven't thought of how to handle number twos yet. I can't even believe I'm calling it number twos, but I feel kind of disrespectful calling your shit... shit. I mean, your shit just got hurt defending this country." She squeezed his hand, getting rid of some lingering nerves as she rambled. "Also, I think we both know our start was never going to be conventional."
Rob looked at her and then started laughing, holding his side. He glanced at her again, as if making sure he heard her right, before continuing to laugh again. He couldn't help it, and maybe it's what he needed. "I, um..." he tried to begin, but he was still amused and it was hard to be dead serious. He put his fingers to his lips as he tried to stifle yet more laughing, and just managed to snort when he couldn't stop it. "I'm sorry. I'm going to be serious now, I am. Right... now." He tried to force his face back into a calm expression, but he was still smirking at her. "Favourite colour... green? Is that too predictable? And I don't usually need... um... number twos in the middle of the night. The bottles, well..." He scrunched his nose up. "I ain't sure I'm wanting to lay that on you. But then, I ain't gonna want to wake you either and I'd rather not nearly piss myself again. I have no idea. I didn't think about any of this. I was too busy stressing about you getting shouldered with all this."
Leila had started to laugh as well, his smiling infectious. Especially considering he'd been so serious since coming back. She lived for seeing the hints of smiles. Not that she could blame him. She could only imagine how he had to be feeling, and the things he was seeing when he closed his eyes. "I don't want you to stop laughing, but I bet your ribs do. I like seeing you smile. I know it's probably going to be hard for you to, so I guess I'm glad I just succeeded in making you laugh, even if it was accidental." She rest her head back against the sofa and shook her head. "No, green isn't too predictable. It suits you. Is that why you liked my costume so much the other night? I think we should try the bottles. And you don't have to worry about waking me up, okay? Promise? You don't need to stress about me. I'm not shouldered with anything."
Rob pressed his lips together, meeting her eyes. "Actually, that was probably more to do with the cleavage..." he told her, smiling again. "But it was an awesome costume. I ain't sure we'd get too far in those boots, though. But you could probably take out half the enemy with them." He let out a slow breath and took his hand away from his chest, settling back into the sofa. Hopefully he wouldn't have to move again for a little while, though his body was going to have to transition from rations, to hospital food, to normal food. It was only a matter of waiting and seeing. Maybe living on salad for a few days so things didn't get really messy and uncomfortable. "I ain't so sure I'm thinking as rationally as I usually do right now. It's strange, I still feel like me normally but when I feel myself reacting in certain ways and thinking certain things, I know I ain't quite right yet. I nearly asked them to keep me in so you didn't have to deal with all of this. Guess I still had some notion of romanticism in my head that we should be still courting or something. Which didn't involved you helping me get my pants down to use the bathroom. Maybe I just need a good smack in the head?"
Leila smirked as she cupped her breast with her free hand. "Good to know I actually do have some. Takes a lot of pushing up to get it like that... You know what, though? Best bra is human hands. Preferably yours, but I can be patient while you get your strength up." She watched Rob in concern as she waited to see if he was in much pain. Leila leaned forward to pick up his bottle of water, pointing the straw in his direction if he wanted some. "I would think the fact you actually recognise that you're not always yourself is a good sign. I don't need you to think rationally right now. I just need you to trust me. Just need to trust me, okay? I can do this. I want to do this. We can still be romantic. It's just going to have to fit in around this other stuff. Isn't there a law against smacking injured soldiers in the head?"
Rob's eyes inevitably dipped down to her chest and his tongue came to rest in the middle of his lower lip as his gaze lingered. It felt like a long, long time since he touched her there and he couldn't resist the urge, his hand resting softly beside hers as his fingertips brushed across the skin in the low cut neckline of her shirt. His touch was so light that it was almost giving him a sense that he was trying to make sure he wasn't dreaming it. Before he got hurt, he had definitely spent many hours in his bunk at night fantasising about her body. He even stopped trying to be covert about his jerking off as the days ticked by. He was used to the piss-pulling by his colleagues and it wasn't like they weren't indulging when they could too. "I do trust you. It's myself I don't trust right now. This is all really hard for me. I ain't ever had anyone take care of me before. Most times I've been injured has been on duty, but ain't nothing like this. I was sick a couple of years back during a posting, but again, it wasn't like this. It's like I'm waiting for you to realise it's too much hassle, or that you made a bad choice in marrying me. But I ain't stupid enough not to realise that's also the trauma talking mostly. Fear of loss, according to the shrink. And I don't know about that law, but I'm thinking one more hit to the head and my brain might fall outta my ears. It's lucky I ain't drooling or talking in tongues."
Leila's eyelids fluttered closed at the light touch as she exhaled slowly. It was hard not to react to any touch from Rob. She'd been craving it for so long, needing it, wanting it... Her nipples hardened as a shudder rolled down her spine and she bit her lip as she looked at him almost apologetically. She moved her hand so her fingers covered his and held his hand against her breast a little firmer. "You're not going to lose me, Littlerock. I'm in this for good. You even turn me on while you're all banged up. I think that's a for keeps kinda deal. I'm sorry no one's been there for you before. Far as I'm convered it's their loss. Especially if it was that bitch."
Rob knew he didn't have the strength for sex, but that didn't mean there could be nothing, right? Even if he hadn't been injured and just came home after service, they still would have been without this sort of intimacy for all those weeks. It was something you tried not to think about too much when you were apart, but as much as he hated to realise, if he hadn't been injured, they would be having extremely hot sex by now. That kinda pissed him off a little. Not for anything Leila had done, but for the situation. He let his fingers massage softly against her breast, familiarising himself with her body again, even if it was just some minor contact between them, feeling her nipple through the shirt and making a soft noise of contentment. "I thought it would turn you off," he admitted quietly. "I ain't sure why I've been so insecure. Guess it comes with the territory. We didn't have enough time to find each other before I left. We gotta start that now. I just wish I wasn't all weak and incapable of a lot of things right now."
Leila turned her face in towards him and let out a quiet moan. She wasn't about to try and jump him even if she desperately wanted to. She wanted him inside her again, she wanted to be fucked hard, and deep, and in all kinds of positions because she'd missed him, and she was being denied new couple sex as well as newlywed sex. It wasn't fair. But this... this was something, and it probably meant more to her because he was offering. "It doesn't, trust me. Nothing could. You've been through a traumatic experience. No one should be used to dealing with this, that's wrong. We can wait. We got this far. Besides, there's still the sponge baths."
"I feel like we should be naked," Rob admitted as he watched her face, resting his head against hers. "But then I'll just feel like I'm cheating you out of something more. Funny, before I left, your cousin mentioned to me about how he had to wait to be with Ali when he first met her. That it was worth the wait. I'm wondering how he did it, to be honest. I just never really thought I would be in this position. I mean, you do know what you're heading in to, and it's surrounding you twenty-four-seven out there, but you never quite stop and think that you'll be the next casualty, even if you try and plan for it. Now I just want to try and switch off from it all. Sure you ain't gonna get sick of being with me all this time? It should only be a week or so til I can start getting a lil more independence. If it's too much, you have to tell me. I'll call my Mom and Dad. They already want to meet you. They'd be happy to help."
"In all fairness she'd just had a baby, so it's understandable that she was tender. I won't be cheated. Naked time with you is just as nice as sex. Maybe even better. Okay, not better, just... intimate. We can go to bed if you want, strip off and just lie there." She brushed her hand softly against his arm, the idea of being naked with him definitely appealing. Definitely a good way to get started on the healing. "It's not going to be too much, and it will never be too much time with you. I'm a greedy whore where that's concerned. Maybe... maybe your parents should come here anyway. Help you work on switching everything off? Plus it would mean I meet them, and we don't have to worry about that. But give me a week of time that's just us?"
"Yeah, she had a lot going on, he said. He stuck by her. Ironically, he told me all this before I went away, almost like he knew. I ain't sure you two realise how similar you are, but it ain't escaped me, that's for sure. He helped Ali through her tough times, and you're helping me. He just didn't fly by the seat of his pants and propose on a whim," Rob said with a laugh, still holding his side so it didn't hurt. "I wouldn't change it, though. Not now. Even if I was anxious at the time I was doing the right thing. I'll call my folks. Maybe they can come for Christmas? Or Christmas Eve, if you have stuff planned with your family. They ain't wanting to intrude, but they're worried. Just want to make sure I'm okay. Telling them over the phone ain't always enough, you know? Especially when I'm well aware that my pain is coming out in my voice right now. It's hard to hide it. Naked in bed sounds nice... only, not like my body is all that appealing right now."
"Andrew proposing even now is the same as him flying by the seat of his pants. Actually, kissing Ali for the first time was almost as a big of a deal if you believe him. Did he tell you about him hiding in her bathroom with an erection because he was scared it wasn't appropriate?" Leila asked with a fond smirk as she thought about her cousin. "No, Christmas would be perfect. I'm not actually sure about Christmas plans at the moment, I have to admit my head hasn't really been in the game lately. I'll check with Luke to see what's going on. I'd rather your parents came so they knew I wasn't taking advantage, or being neglectful. They need to see you're in good hands. I get that." Leila raised her eyebrows. "Who says it's not appealing?"
Rob laughed softly, resting his head back against the chair as he watched her, amused. "Seriously? Poor guy. Ain't like we can help that when it happens, or hide it. I get it, though. You do kinda automatically think girls will just assume you want one thing if it accidentally happens. Did she ever find out about it? She must've thought he was ill or something. So, he ain't really the spontaneous sort? I guess getting married was a big thing, though. Ali said it was for when y'all came to visit at the hospital. They looked amazing, though. Very happy. And y'all married off now." He nodded. "I'll give them a call tonight. They told me to call them when I was up to it and not too tired. I did give them your number, though. Is that alright? Mom just gets antsy sometimes. She was worried you weren't okay, but I explained to her that you had a great family. I guess that's why I just assumed they'd all have Christmas plans on some level. It'd be your first Christmas with both your cousins in a while, right? I say? I mean, it's all bruised and some of them a really funky yellow colour, and there's the wound from the op and how is that all nice to look at?"
"He gave her the diarrhea excuse," Leila said, laughing softly. "Andrew panics in the face of being caught at something. So then he was of course the shit guy, and was worried she'd find him even more unattractive. I can't actually remember if he said she found out. Maybe it's a secret they'll share now they're married. The truth will finally come out. He's the accidentally spontaneous sort. I think a lot of the spontaneity went out the window when he slipped into alcoholism. He thinks everything through now. Or tries to." Leila smiled. "Yeah, of course it's okay. They should have my number. They're your parents. Not like they're strangers. And yeah, it would be the first Christmas for some time. I'll talk it over with Andrew, and Luke, but that doesn't mean your family can't get involved." She rest her head against her hand as she braced her elbow on the sofa. "It's nice to look at because it's you. I don't see anything horrible."
Rob pressed his lips together in amusement. "Hey, shit happens, right? Ali seems pretty down to earth. She probably just wanted to help. I think I probably would have just admitted I had a boner. Maybe blame it on nerve damage or a middle ear infection," he laughed. He paused in the conversation and just smiled softly at her for a few moments, not really alluding to what was going through his mind. "I know I've said it before, but humour me, okay? I'm sorry that you had to go through so much pain. I never wanted you to experience any of that. And I know it ain't directly my fault, and all that, but that doesn't mean I ain't stopped thinking how much this has all affected you, and your life. I can't repay any of it."
Leila was nodding in agreement, but her smile faltered as Rob apologised again. She looked down as she took his hand, and threaded her fingers through it. She could see both their wedding bands, Rob's being put back on as soon as he was home with her. Leila had never taken hers off. She lifted her eyes back up to meet his, and her smile had morphed into something warmer, and softer. "I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to say. I can say it's fine, and I understand, but it's true. I was hurting, but there was nothing you could do to control it. I don't want you thinking you need to repay it though, because you don't. I wouldn't have this any other way. Having you means I need to make some trade-offs, and I'd rather make them than lose you. You're my husband, Rob. Just let me be your wife."
Rob gave her a small smile and nodded. He wet his lips in lieu of saying anything further on the subject. He would just end up repeating himself and sounding like a broken record. There was still a lot he had to process and having an attentive wife that came without strings was one of them. Even in his previous marriage, he was still mostly on his own with everything. He cooked when he wasn't away, he cleaned the house, he sat at home with the TV for company while she continued on her merry little way. If he was ill, he took to his bed on his own so she wouldn't catch it. Getting used to having Leila there without question felt foreign at first but it was getting easier every day. "Let's go to bed, get naked," he murmured with another smile. "I need to remember how to be a husband."
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