bittersweet symphony
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. blech. thats how im going to sum up the past few weeks. its amazing how excited you can be about he first snowfall, but then after 4 months of it on the ground you start to forget what colour the grass actually is underneath. magenta for all i know.
so break ups suck. and no matter how much youre warned or prepped for the pain, it still comes as a bit of a shock as to how much it hurts. we had finally reached that point where we both needed a change. for me, i felt like i was bitching about him waaaaay more than i was saying nice things. i felt like i wasnt being fully appreciated and not talking about it made it worse, but then again, talking wouldnt have made it any better. it had hit that point. words are just symbols, course they mean something, but in a relationship actions are what count. other contributions added up to a pretty shitty situation, and we worked at it as hard as we could, but some things just cant be fixed as easily as the movies make it seem.
im not regretting it at all. it was a year im going to cherish forever. for every bad time we had ten more better ones. it was strange for us to end it as we did, becuase with every other guy there was some event that was the deal breaker. we went our seperate ways and that was it. but this one has simply faded into a friendship. im still not sure how its going to go, this is a very foreign concept. just gotta go with it day by day and see how it unfolds.
its funny how youre thankful for your friends, but you really really begin to appreciate their value when something bad happens. sad how that is. kinda like family. i dont know how i wouldve got through this without silly jokes, ridonkulous advice and similar experience stories ("so i bricked the son ofa bitches house. almost took out grampa. convicted? what the fuck for?" haha). especially queenie. i escaped up to mac this weekend cause steph planned out an ideal postbreakupweekend involving hilarious boys (to remind me that there are good ones still out there), shots and brewskies (obviously), food (chocolate and gingerpeach...orgasmic) and gilmore girls (if rory can do it, hell i can give it a shot). so needed.
even my family rose to the occassion. which was such a shock...usually i avoid telling my parents anythign remotely intimate about my life. but i guess it was cause my mom called at a particularly low moment, so she could tell something was up (damn maternal instincts). and really, talking to her made me feel so much better. distance really does bring people together.
finally got a job! pretty sweet one too. raaaather excited. i love the idea of working. university is like trainign wheels to being an adult. independent, but still hangin onto childhood. a job just means another step in the big-girl direction. summer isnt coming fast enough.
one step at a time
~~Laura~~
so break ups suck. and no matter how much youre warned or prepped for the pain, it still comes as a bit of a shock as to how much it hurts. we had finally reached that point where we both needed a change. for me, i felt like i was bitching about him waaaaay more than i was saying nice things. i felt like i wasnt being fully appreciated and not talking about it made it worse, but then again, talking wouldnt have made it any better. it had hit that point. words are just symbols, course they mean something, but in a relationship actions are what count. other contributions added up to a pretty shitty situation, and we worked at it as hard as we could, but some things just cant be fixed as easily as the movies make it seem.
im not regretting it at all. it was a year im going to cherish forever. for every bad time we had ten more better ones. it was strange for us to end it as we did, becuase with every other guy there was some event that was the deal breaker. we went our seperate ways and that was it. but this one has simply faded into a friendship. im still not sure how its going to go, this is a very foreign concept. just gotta go with it day by day and see how it unfolds.
its funny how youre thankful for your friends, but you really really begin to appreciate their value when something bad happens. sad how that is. kinda like family. i dont know how i wouldve got through this without silly jokes, ridonkulous advice and similar experience stories ("so i bricked the son ofa bitches house. almost took out grampa. convicted? what the fuck for?" haha). especially queenie. i escaped up to mac this weekend cause steph planned out an ideal postbreakupweekend involving hilarious boys (to remind me that there are good ones still out there), shots and brewskies (obviously), food (chocolate and gingerpeach...orgasmic) and gilmore girls (if rory can do it, hell i can give it a shot). so needed.
even my family rose to the occassion. which was such a shock...usually i avoid telling my parents anythign remotely intimate about my life. but i guess it was cause my mom called at a particularly low moment, so she could tell something was up (damn maternal instincts). and really, talking to her made me feel so much better. distance really does bring people together.
finally got a job! pretty sweet one too. raaaather excited. i love the idea of working. university is like trainign wheels to being an adult. independent, but still hangin onto childhood. a job just means another step in the big-girl direction. summer isnt coming fast enough.
one step at a time
~~Laura~~