Regalia and Manitalia
Well, I recently picked up my cap, gown and hood for tomorrow's commencement activities.
* Those of you who are familiar with academic regalia for graduate degrees may recall that the gown for the master's degree has extra-long sleeves, which drape down below the wrist. Every time I have put this gown on, my hands get caught in those extra bits of sleeve. I have to believe I'm not the only one with this problem; wouldn't it have made sense for the manufacturer to close those parts off? My friend Andria points out that those false sleeves are perfect for sneaking in an apple or a can of soda, but I still bristle every time my hands get stuck (and that's gonna happen, what, once more in my life? Twice?). Closing off the sleeves would not only eliminate the problem, but give the robe a nontrivial second homology group. What's that? Yes, my degree is in music, not math.
* While I'm on the subject of topology in academic regalia, let us consider the hood. Since it seems to be impossible to neatly drape the hood in the proper manner anyway, wouldn't it be so much cooler if they made Möbius hoods? Hmm. My initial enthusiasm for the idea is tempered by the sudden realization that the hood would no longer have a "lining" in the same sense, but I'll leave that challenge to the ILGWTU (International Ladies Garment Workers' and Topologists' Union).
My roommates have done many things to piss me off this year, and a large number of those things involve the guests they bring home. Margaret's Nameless Boyfriend is here for the weekend, and in addition to being messier than usual, he managed to wake me up twice last night. Once at 2 AM, when he and Margaret refused to copulate quietly. And once at 5 AM, when he staggered into my room, thinking it was the bathroom. Now, this is an impressive feat in itself: to get to my room, he had to go out Margaret's room, take a left into the living room, another left into the front hall, and a left into my room, passing through 4 doors and travelling about 20 feet. The bathroom which he was aiming for? Immediately in front of Margaret's room, 4 feet, no intervening doors. He's been here two or three times before, so he knows where the bathroom is; I have to assume that he was just blind stinking drunk. When he realized where he was, and that I was not pleased to see him in my room, he said a naughty word, turned around, and ran straight to the bathroom.
Oh, did I mention that he was naked?
So, yeah, I hate my roommates, and especially their guests. Seeing that I have to get up bright and early for commencement tomorrow morning, I will be most vexed if any similar disturbances occur. There will be beatings, and if it becomes necessary, I will not hesitate to deviscerate his manitalia.
-TT
* Those of you who are familiar with academic regalia for graduate degrees may recall that the gown for the master's degree has extra-long sleeves, which drape down below the wrist. Every time I have put this gown on, my hands get caught in those extra bits of sleeve. I have to believe I'm not the only one with this problem; wouldn't it have made sense for the manufacturer to close those parts off? My friend Andria points out that those false sleeves are perfect for sneaking in an apple or a can of soda, but I still bristle every time my hands get stuck (and that's gonna happen, what, once more in my life? Twice?). Closing off the sleeves would not only eliminate the problem, but give the robe a nontrivial second homology group. What's that? Yes, my degree is in music, not math.
* While I'm on the subject of topology in academic regalia, let us consider the hood. Since it seems to be impossible to neatly drape the hood in the proper manner anyway, wouldn't it be so much cooler if they made Möbius hoods? Hmm. My initial enthusiasm for the idea is tempered by the sudden realization that the hood would no longer have a "lining" in the same sense, but I'll leave that challenge to the ILGWTU (International Ladies Garment Workers' and Topologists' Union).
My roommates have done many things to piss me off this year, and a large number of those things involve the guests they bring home. Margaret's Nameless Boyfriend is here for the weekend, and in addition to being messier than usual, he managed to wake me up twice last night. Once at 2 AM, when he and Margaret refused to copulate quietly. And once at 5 AM, when he staggered into my room, thinking it was the bathroom. Now, this is an impressive feat in itself: to get to my room, he had to go out Margaret's room, take a left into the living room, another left into the front hall, and a left into my room, passing through 4 doors and travelling about 20 feet. The bathroom which he was aiming for? Immediately in front of Margaret's room, 4 feet, no intervening doors. He's been here two or three times before, so he knows where the bathroom is; I have to assume that he was just blind stinking drunk. When he realized where he was, and that I was not pleased to see him in my room, he said a naughty word, turned around, and ran straight to the bathroom.
Oh, did I mention that he was naked?
So, yeah, I hate my roommates, and especially their guests. Seeing that I have to get up bright and early for commencement tomorrow morning, I will be most vexed if any similar disturbances occur. There will be beatings, and if it becomes necessary, I will not hesitate to deviscerate his manitalia.
-TT