YOU GUYS, YOU GUYS.
So. The people at FUDP were telling jokes.
So thus, I ask the people over here to vote for the best joke out of the ones nominated:
And the nominees are:
1. SOUTHWEST AIRLINES: A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines. The son (who was looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If dogs have baby dogs, and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?" The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the flight attendant. So the boy does. The flight attendant asks the boy if his mother told him to ask the flight attendant, and the boy says yes. So the flight attendant says, "Well then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest Airlines always pull out on time."
2. BANANA SPLIT: an old man hobbled into an ice cream parlor. it was difficult for him, but he managed to sit down on a stool. he looked at the waitress and ordered a banana split. "Crushed nuts?" "No, arthritis."
3. THREE NUNS: three nuns died at the same time, so all of them went to Heaven's Gate and met St. Peter. Peter tells each of them if any of the nuns had touched a man's penis, they must wash that body part clean in a Heaven Fountain. he tells nun #1 to go first, she does and washes her hands off. but before he can tell nun #2 to go next, nun #3 runs past her and starts splashing water into her mouth. Peter is mad and demands an explanation for nun #3's rudeness. "if you think i'm sticking my mouth into this water after she sticks her ass into it," says #3, "you're fucking nuts!"
4. ANGRY MAN IN A BAR: an angry man walked into a bar and ordered lots of liquor. the bartender sees this guy and comments that he must've had a bad day today. "oh yeah i did. i just found out my older brother is gay." the next day the same angry man comes back into the bar and orders more liquor. "what's wrong now?" "dammit my little brother just came out of the closet today." day #3. the same angry man comes back into the bar AGAIN. "what the hell, man? doesn't anyone in your family like women?" "YEAH, MY WIFE!"
5. WHO IS GOD?: one day after sunday school, a little boy walking hand-in-hand with his father looks up and asks his father a question. "daddy", he says, "is God black or white?" the father can't think of an answer, so he responds "well, he's neither, son." the boy thinks for a little bit and then askes, "daddy, is God a girl or a boy?" the father doesn't know how to answer that either, so he gives the same response. they continue walking for a few moments before the boy speaks again. "daddy, is God Michael Jackson?"
Poll Best joke? 8D
So thus, I ask the people over here to vote for the best joke out of the ones nominated:
And the nominees are:
1. SOUTHWEST AIRLINES: A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines. The son (who was looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If dogs have baby dogs, and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?" The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the flight attendant. So the boy does. The flight attendant asks the boy if his mother told him to ask the flight attendant, and the boy says yes. So the flight attendant says, "Well then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest Airlines always pull out on time."
2. BANANA SPLIT: an old man hobbled into an ice cream parlor. it was difficult for him, but he managed to sit down on a stool. he looked at the waitress and ordered a banana split. "Crushed nuts?" "No, arthritis."
3. THREE NUNS: three nuns died at the same time, so all of them went to Heaven's Gate and met St. Peter. Peter tells each of them if any of the nuns had touched a man's penis, they must wash that body part clean in a Heaven Fountain. he tells nun #1 to go first, she does and washes her hands off. but before he can tell nun #2 to go next, nun #3 runs past her and starts splashing water into her mouth. Peter is mad and demands an explanation for nun #3's rudeness. "if you think i'm sticking my mouth into this water after she sticks her ass into it," says #3, "you're fucking nuts!"
4. ANGRY MAN IN A BAR: an angry man walked into a bar and ordered lots of liquor. the bartender sees this guy and comments that he must've had a bad day today. "oh yeah i did. i just found out my older brother is gay." the next day the same angry man comes back into the bar and orders more liquor. "what's wrong now?" "dammit my little brother just came out of the closet today." day #3. the same angry man comes back into the bar AGAIN. "what the hell, man? doesn't anyone in your family like women?" "YEAH, MY WIFE!"
5. WHO IS GOD?: one day after sunday school, a little boy walking hand-in-hand with his father looks up and asks his father a question. "daddy", he says, "is God black or white?" the father can't think of an answer, so he responds "well, he's neither, son." the boy thinks for a little bit and then askes, "daddy, is God a girl or a boy?" the father doesn't know how to answer that either, so he gives the same response. they continue walking for a few moments before the boy speaks again. "daddy, is God Michael Jackson?"
Poll Best joke? 8D