[infinite] like a dream come true

[tacocatwrites]

Fic: Infinite, Woohyun/Hoya
Summary: Howon needs a date for his cousin's wedding, but ends up getting more than he bargained for.
Or, an AU where Kwangsuk gets married, Dongwoo worries, Sunggyu is disappointed, and Howon only really gets to know Woohyun once he starts pretending to be his boyfriend. And still gets more than he bargained for.
Rating: PG
Contents: Fake dating, fluff, light angst, parent illness
Word Count: 10k



Howon, all things considered, is a good son.

He did well in school, never fell in with a bad crowd, dutifully attended all his extracurricular activities, took out the trash when it was his turn, graduated from a good university, helped out at the family’s restaurant, and still walked his little brother home from school whenever he needed it. He deserves better than this.

“Howon-ah, when are you going to find someone nice and settle down?”

His mother’s pleading voice through his phone speaker rattles his eardrums. Howon rubs his temple with his free hand. “Mom, I told you already. I’m still… figuring things out.”

“What’s there to figure out?” His mother is, unsurprisingly, not sympathetic. “You said you don’t like girls. So find a nice boy!”

“Mooom!”

Howon flushes and splutters, even though he’s pretty sure there’s no one around to hear his mom talk about his personal life so loudly. The pressure to commit to a relationship has been increasingly high since his older brother moved away, but lately it’s gone from the occasional ask to a downright inquisition, and Howon doesn’t have the faintest idea how to handle it.

At first, he’d thought that coming out to his parents might make them back off a little. Instead they’d taken it a little too well, and while Howon was grateful for his family’s support, he was quickly disillusioned when this also meant they simply switched to bothering him about finding a boy instead of a girl to introduce them to. He honestly isn’t sure what more he can do to get them off his back.

“So, Kwangsukie is getting married in a couple months. Have you found a date yet?”

“Huh? Yeah,” Howon answers on reflex without actually comprehending the question until it’s too late. Apparently, the topic has moved on to his same-aged cousin’s upcoming wedding while he was busy wallowing.

“Oh! So you have found someone! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?! Introduce him soon!” Howon’s mother sounds so happy and excited that she drowns out all of Howon’s protests, and Howon thinks she might actually be crying. He is so screwed.

“Mom-I didn’t-“ He tries again weakly, but it’s too late. His mother rushes out a goodbye before hanging up, no doubt to alert the entire extended family that ‘Howonnie has finally found someone’ or something to that effect. Kwangsuk isn’t just his cousin, he’s one of Howon’s best friends, but ever since he went and got engaged wedding bells and Howon’s mom’s voice have been part of his daily stress dreams.

Howon puts his head down on the kitchen table, and considers his options. He doesn’t think of anything useful, of course. All he can think about is how brokenhearted his poor mother is going to be, so he calls up his non-emotionally stunted roommate for advice.

Dongwoo, predictably, laughs at Howon for about ten straight minutes before finally giving Howon some advice. Not that Howon wasn’t expecting as much. He supposes he deserves it (deserves all of this).

“One, you could clear everything up with Mom, and disappoint the entire family at Kwangsukie’s wedding,” Dongwoo says, clearly still trying not to laugh at Howon’s not very funny predicament. “Two, you could just, you know, ask someone out.”

“Easy for you to say hyung, you’ve only ever asked Sunggyu hyung out, and that was like five million years ago.”

“It doesn’t have to be super official or anything, it can be casual! It’ll be fun!” Dongwoo encourages him.

Howon considers it. “So really… all this person would have to do is pretend to like me in front of my family for a few hours, right? Not like, real dating or anything, just a friend doing me a favor.”

“I didn’t really mean that!” He can hear Dongwoo pouting over the phone. “Pretending is lying, right? You shouldn’t do that to your parents.”

“It won’t be… entirely lying. Mom was more happy than she’s been in ages, hyung... I can’t let her down, you know?” Howon squirms around as he holds the phone to his ear, frowning deeper the more he thinks about it. Because the more he thinks, the more he really doesn’t know how he could disappoint her again. “We’ll smooth everything over when we ‘break up.’ After the wedding.”

“Howonnie…” Dongwoo doesn’t sound so sure, but Howon is too stubborn to let go of it.

“Thanks, hyung, you’re the best!” Howon says quickly before hanging up, and immediately opens his contact list to look for potential fake wedding dates.

Howon is a good son, and he’s going to make his family happy, no matter what it takes.

--

Nam Woohyun remains largely an enigma in Howon’s mind.

They’re technically friends, the same age even, but mostly in the casual convenient way where they happen to share the same friend group. Dongwoo and Woohyun became close back in their college days, and presently he rooms with Sunggyu in the same building as Howon and Dongwoo, so Howon ends up seeing a lot of him either way.

It wouldn’t be so bad if Woohyun didn’t flirt with everything on two legs, including Howon. Howon found it off-putting at first (and maybe still does, a little) but at the same time he can sort of, maybe tolerate Woohyun as a person, sometimes, or at least feel he’s useful to have around, even if he thinks he’ll never really understand him. Aside from their competitiveness and love of soccer, Woohyun is Howon’s polar opposite in every way-greasy, and overbearing, and honestly doesn’t seem to know when to shut up sometimes.

On the surface, he’s still the perfect candidate for Howon’s plan-not only has Howon’s known him for a while, he’s currently single, has been known to date other men, is good at lying, plus he’s easily bribed into doing stupid things. Still, Howon never suspected it would be this easy.

“Anyway… If you do it and don’t screw up, I’ll give you my Park Jisung jersey. The signed one,” Howon says after (vaguely) explaining the situation to Woohyun over the phone, and he can barely finish his sentence before Woohyun practically shouts at him.

“I’ll do it!”

It’s a little unfair, maybe; Howon has known that Woohyun has had his eye on that jersey for ages now. But still, he hadn’t really expected Woohyun to agree just like that, with no questions asked. When he voices his uncertainties, however, Woohyun only laughs.

“Come on, Howonnie. You know how long I’ve wanted that jersey. Plus I’m probably the best schmoozer you know. Well, besides Dongwoo hyung, but he’s not single,” Woohyun points out. Howon sighs.

“Most of my friends aren’t,” he points out right back, and is about to make fun of Woohyun as per usual when he realizes that he technically owes him one now.

“Anyway.” He clears his throat, ignoring when Woohyun giggles into his phone. “My mom wants to take us shopping for wedding clothes this Saturday. I told her we don’t have to, but she wants to meet you. Don’t embarrass me, Nam.”

“You got it, honey.” The vomit-inducing sarcastic sweetness dripping from Woohyun’s voice could probably supply an entire candy factory. “See you Saturday.”

He hangs up abruptly. Howon realizes belatedly it’s really the first time he’s spoken on the phone with Woohyun. Really, he hardly even texts him outside of the usual group message with the hyungs. In short, there really is a lot he doesn’t know about Woohyun, but he doesn’t know how to start asking.

After a few minutes of similar irrelevant trains of thought, Howon finally realizes that he’s been stuck in the same dumb pose with the phone in his hand for a while, going off on his panicky mental tangents, and he quickly shoves it back in his jeans pocket. As soon as he does, though, his phone starts ringing off the metaphorical hook, with a loud hip hop song that he custom set for Dongwoo.

“Hyung…?” Howon answers wearily.

“You asked Woohyunie out? Really, Howon-ah?” Dongwoo’s voice is way more excited than it should be, as usual.

“We’re not going out, but yes, he agreed to be my wedding date,” Howon rubs his temples. He should have figured Woohyun would have blabbered immediately-why can’t he live for five minutes without everyone calling everyone else about his personal life?

“Won’t that be weird, though? I mean, Woohyunie’s always li-nmrff!“ Dongwoo starts, but then makes a weird muffled noise, like a hand got clapped over his mouth. Howon guesses it’s Sunggyu’s, and he’s proven right at the next voice that comes on the line.

“Howon-ah.”

Sunggyu sounds like a disappointed father at him, and Howon doesn’t even know what he did. “Yes, hyung?”

“Are you positive you’re making the right decisions lately?” Sunggyu nags him. “I know you want to make your parents happy, but things like this only end up badly.”

“I’ll be okay, hyung.” Howon tries not to sound petulant, but he still feels like a kid sometimes when he talks to Sunggyu. “You don’t have to worry about me. Enjoy your old married date with Dongwoo hyung.”

“I-It’s not an old married or a date,” Sunggyu insists. Howon isn’t sure why he bothers when he’s been dating Dongwoo for literally ten years now. “Fine, just don’t say I told you so.”

“Sure, hyung.” Howon rolls his eyes and hangs up, this time putting away his phone for good.

What was Dongwoo going to say about Woohyun, before Sunggyu stopped him? Howon wonders if he’s better off not knowing. Despite his dismissal earlier, at the back of his mind Howon has a weird, nagging feeling that Sunggyu might be right, that this is a very bad idea, for reasons that he hadn’t anticipated, but he can’t pin anything down in the end.

“It’s fine,” he says out loud, to no one in particular, but he can’t shake the feeling that everything is anything but fine.

--

Saturday, unusually, rolls around about ten times faster than usual.

Stuck at the department store, Howon ends up feeling more like Woohyun is hitting on his mom than pretending to be his boyfriend, which is probably worse.

“When I first saw you, I thought, you’re Howon’s mother? I thought you were his noona,” Woohyun tells her, his greasy ways in full throttle as the three of them rifle through the menswear. Howon merely groans, but his mother falls for the cliché immediately, preening and cooing over Woohyun’s continued flattery.

“Oh, you rascal! I’m old enough to be a grandmother by now, you know!” She only pretends to scold him, hitting Woohyun on the arm playfully, and the two of them laugh while Howon resists the urge to roll his eyes.

Well, at least she likes him. Howon can feel his mother and Woohyun judging him as he pulls out a shirt in yet another shade of purple, before returning it to the rack with a sigh. Finally he grabs a standard-looking blazer at random before rejoining the other two.

“Have you picked anything out yet, Woohyun-ah?” he asks, trying to sound less grumpy than he feels.

“Actually, I have. I was just waiting on you, honeybunch,” Woohyun says, purposefully sappy, causing Howon to flush slightly.

“Y-You didn’t have to wait,” he grumbles, dragging Woohyun towards the dressing room with more force than is strictly necessary, though he sorely regrets it when Woohyun snickers and makes a comment about Howon being rough with him.

Woohyun goes to get dressed first, leaving Howon alone with his mother, who beams at him like Howon just won the Nobel Peace Prize.

“He’s such a nice boy. And so handsome, just like you. I’m so happy for you,” she tells Howon, and seeing her that happy makes Howon feel at least slightly vindicated for everything he’s put himself through today.

“Was someone talking about me?” Woohyun grins obnoxiously as he pops his head out of the dressing room, before walking out dressed in a set of nice formalwear in a classic navy color. Howon has to admit that even though he doesn’t necessarily agree with his mom’s assessment of Woohyun’s looks, Woohyun does look really good in the outfit.

“I always have to get my formalwear tailored, but these are so nice they’d be worth it,” Woohyun admires himself in the mirror, and Howon immediately regrets thinking he looked nice. Unfortunately, Woohyun catches Howon looking anyway, and his grin widens. “What do you think, Howonnie? Do I look good in these?”

Howon looks between Woohyun, then his mother, then Woohyun again. There is no escape.

“You look, uh, great. I’m, er, going to get dressed now too,” he says as quickly as he can manage before escaping into one of the changing rooms. His awkwardness doesn’t decrease at all even when Woohyun and Howon head to the register to hurry and pay for everything themselves while Howon’s mother leaves to use the restroom, Howon nearly tripping over the ajumma in line behind them before they can escape the queue with their purchases.

After recovering from the near-disaster, the two of them are heading over to meet back up with Howon’s mother when Woohyun suddenly stops him.

“Quick, hold hands with me.”

Howon sighs. “What? She’s not even here.”

Woohyun shakes his head. “No, she’s watching us.”

Howon glances around surreptitiously, and sure enough, he thinks he spots her peeking around a corner at the two of them. He sighs again.

“Good catch,” he mutters half-sarcastically, but slips his hand into Woohyun’s anyway. Woohyun’s hand is small and warm, more pleasant than he expected, but it feels kind of strange to be holding it nonetheless.

Thankfully, Woohyun doesn’t suggest anything else. He’s actually much more quiet and manageable the rest of the outing, dropping off Howon’s mother at his family’s restaurant before heading back to the apartment building. And that’s when Howon’s phone buzzes.

Kwangsukie: I heard about the new bf
Kwangsukie: let’s get dinner together! our first double dateㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Howon frowns at his phone. He loves his cousin, but right now he really just wants to strangle him-he hadn’t planned on having to do much else as ‘couple’ before Wedding Things actually start occurring, but he can’t exactly turn down a request from Kwangsuk.

“Kwangsuk wants us to have dinner with him and his fiancé,” Howon informs Woohyun of the bad news, but Woohyun doesn’t seem put off at all.

“Sounds fun! Should I dress nice?” he asks. Howon considers it.

“Maybe… we should have dinner together. For practice,” Howon clarifies at the end.

“Dinner date? Sounds like things are getting pretty serious between us,” Woohyun teases. Howon ignores him and continues; he’s getting pretty good at doing that, at least.

“Kwangsukie isn’t like my mom, he’ll know right away if we seem unnatural,” he explains patiently. “So we should get our ‘official story’ straight before then. Like… how we met and started dating, and stuff. He’ll wanna know.”

“Gotcha.” Woohyun turns to him from the driver’s seat with a smug grin. “Does that mean you’re finally gonna upgrade your gym membership this year? I could use the extra commission…”

Howon groans for the five hundredth time that day. He can’t wait until Kwangsuk is married for several reasons, but mainly so he won’t feel as bad about utterly and completely disowning him once this is all over and done with.

--

Howon isn’t surprised when Woohyun rings the doorbell and he’s dressed as smartly as he was in the dressing room last weekend, dressed in an obviously tailored navy blue sport jacket, a lighter gray-blue button up, and well-matched slacks and dress shoes.

“How do I look? Respectable boyfriend material?” Woohyun asks with a sly half-smile, and Howon rolls his eyes at him. “Nice tie.”

“You look fine. And thanks,” he says dismissively, not admitting that he spent quite a while deliberating over his own outfit but choosing his favorite purple tie in the end, because he’s still Lee Howon, enthusiast for all things purple, fake boyfriend or no.

“Let’s see… I fell in love with you not too long after I met you. I thought you were really cute even when we first met, but what really hooked me was your personality. I thought you were just playing hard-to-get when I flirted with you, but you’re actually that dense. It’s just so adorable!” Woohyun rambles on as soon as they sit down at the table, a dreamy look in his eyes. He really is way too into this… plus, Howon’s not sure if he should feel complimented or insulted at the last part.

“I’m not dense,” he insists a little too stiffly, before clearing his throat and tugging at the linen napkin on his lap. “Ok, I’m not the greatest with feelings. That’s why, I, uh…”

“… It took you a while to notice how I felt, but you finally asked me out in the end, right?” Woohyun claps excitedly as he finishes Howon’s sentence for him, then waits expectantly for him to make up his side of the story. Howon clears his throat awkwardly.

“I… didn’t know you liked me, right. But I asked you out a few months ago,” Howon taps his chin in thought. “We went to the movies together for our first date, maybe.”

“What movie was it? I like action movies, my favorite lately is The Man From Nowhere,” Woohyun suggests, his eyes lighting up in that way Howon knows means nothing good ever. Howon is too startled to lie that he was thinking about something similar.

“I like it too. The martial arts were really realistic,” Howon says, finding himself oddly more relaxed as the topic turns to their various interests.

It's like him and Woohyun aren't on a 'practice date,' just talking, and even though he thought Woohyun would be the type to talk over him he seems to settle for naturally filling in the spaces Howon leaves blank. It doesn’t even feel like they have to wait long for their food to arrive, and Woohyun orders wine for both of them as well. Over dinner they find out they have more in common than just liking soccer and action movies, they both like Western dramas, the same music, and most importantly both grew up getting pushed around by older brothers.

“That’s why I spoil Hojae a lot, but he’s also a lot younger than me,” Howon mentions, and Woohyun rests his chin on his hand and grins at Howon. He’s been grinning this whole time, really, but by now he’s grinning so hard Howon thinks he might actually turn into the Cheshire Cat or something.

“You’re a good big brother. And good with kids. That’s another thing I’ve always liked about you,” Woohyun says dreamily, and Howon thinks they might be getting close to going overboard with the whole ‘mushy fake reasons we fake fell in love’ thing by now, but also, Woohyun’s a known lightweight on his second glass of wine.

“Don’t drink too much,” he warns Woohyun, but it’s already too late. By the time they’re ready to leave the restaurant Woohyun is stumbling, and Howon slings Woohyun’s arm over his shoulders and calls a cab instead of letting Woohyun drive them back. In the back of the cab, Woohyun rests his head drunkenly on Howon’s shoulder, and despite Howon’s repeated attempts to get him to sit upright he ends back up slumped all over Howon anyway.

“You never said why you liked me,” Woohyun slurs out, and Howon can feel how warm his cheeks are even through his shirt. “I gave you a whole bunch of reasons, you know.”

“Because…” Howon is a little buzzed, but he doesn’t have enough alcohol in his system for this. He wonders what he should say. What does he like about Woohyun, or theoretically like if he liked him like that? He figures his overall inability to answer questions like this is a top contender on the lengthy list of reasons why he isn’t cut out for an actual relationship.

“Because… you’re you,” he says in the end. Howon hasn’t liked people too often before, but whenever he does, he can never really pinpoint the reason why. He just… does.

Woohyun seems satisfied, laughing softly. “That’s such a you answer.”

He doesn’t bother Howon anymore for the rest of the car ride, but Howon realizes he’s fallen asleep by the time they pull up to Woohyun and Howon’s building and has to shake him awake before paying the cab driver.

Even after being roused, Woohyun is slow to wake, though by the time they ride the elevator up to Woohyun and Sunggyu’s floor he thankfully seems slightly more lucid and less plastered.

“Are you gonna be okay?” he asks Woohyun exasperatedly as they reach the door of Woohyun’s place. “Don’t worry about the cab, I paid for it.”

“Thanks, Howonnie.” Woohyun smiles, but he’s looking at his feet. “I’ll be okay, yeah.”

“Tonight was… nice. Unexpectedly,” Howon admits. His face feels hot again, maybe from the wine, and Woohyun looks just as flushed as he looks up and blinks at Howon, waiting for him to continue.

“It was nice, for practice,” he clarifies, not awkwardly at all. Woohyun grins widely, and before Howon can react, Woohyun leans over and kisses him lightly on the cheek.

“For practice.” Woohyun smiles again, and Howon thinks he must be imagining it, but something seems a little off. He opens his mouth to ask Woohyun something, like what’s wrong, or why do you look sad, but they’re not actually dating, so it dies in his throat as Woohyun turns to leave.

“Good night, Howon-ah.”

“Good night.” Howon’s voice sounds thick and unfamiliar to his own ears as he watches Woohyun unlock the door and disappear into his apartment. His cheek tingles strangely where Woohyun kissed it, and he sighs resignedly.

He might have learned a lot about him tonight, Nam Woohyun will always be at least somewhat of an enigma.

--

Dinner with Kwangsuk and his fiancé, like the practice dinner, is unexpectedly pleasant, and best of all Kwangsuk doesn’t really seem to suspect anything is off. Howon finds himself, weirdly, growing accustomed to spending time with just Woohyun, especially after both Dongwoo and Sunggyu have to make a trip to Japan for work. He even starts to think he might be feeling more comfortable with the current situation, which in retrospect was clearly a sign to the universe to turn everything upside down.

He and Woohyun are setting up the living room for the real-life version of the Action Movie Night they made up to tell Kwangsuk all about when Howon’s mother calls him.

It’s sort of unusual for his mom to call that late, but he doesn’t think much of it when he answers. “Hey Mom, what’s up?”

“Howon-ah…” His mother says his name quietly into the phone, and Howon knows immediately that something is wrong.

“Mom? What’s the matter?” Howon asks, trying not to panic as a million scenarios run through his head.

“Please, come to the hospital,” she tells him. “It’s your father… he collapsed. The doctors are seeing him now, everyone’s all here. They’re going to talk to us afterwards.”

Why? How? How long has he been sick? Is he going to get better?

Howon feels the strength leave his legs. He sits down on the couch, his hands shaking as he tries not to drop the phone.

“Okay,” he says finally, exhales. “Okay, I’ll call a cab and get there as soon as I can.”

“What’s wrong?” Woohyun asks as soon as Howon hangs up the phone.

“Dad’s in the hospital.” Howon forces himself to get off the couch and pull off his jacket. “I gotta go there right now.”

“God, Howon, I’m so sorry.” Woohyun’s brows furrow in concern. “I can drive you, it’s raining outside.”

“It’s fine, I’ll flag a cab.” Howon tries to shrug him off, but Woohyun persists.

“Let me, Howon-ah. I’m your ‘boyfriend’, remember? I should at least drop you off,” he points out. “Besides, the hyungs are still away.”

Howon doesn’t have the strength to have it out with Woohyun right now. He nods limply. “Okay.”

The drive to the hospital is quiet, and tense, Howon staring out the window. Woohyun doesn’t play music or the radio like usual, and thankfully he doesn’t really try to make conversation either. Howon listens to the sound of the ambient noise of the traffic and rain and windshield wipers, his mother’s shaky voice replaying in his head, until they’re finally there and his mother brings them up to the room where his father is.

Woohyun waits in the hallway, Howon holding his mother’s hand as he moves slowly towards his father’s bedside. His grandmother and Hojae are sleeping on nearby chairs, and here are a lot of machines Howon doesn’t know hooked up to him, and he looks frail and old, not at all like the intimidating father Howon is used to.

“They have a specialist here for the type of surgery he needs, and they’re going to perform it soon. For now he’s just resting,” his mother explains. “There is supposed to be a good chance of success, and he will be okay again once he recovers. He doesn’t want you to worry about him…”

The words are meant to reassure him, but all Howon knows is that there’s still a chance things might go wrong. That there might not be a ‘success.’

“How long… has he been sick?”

His mother drops his hand so he can face him. Her face is pale and drawn, and her eyes are red, but she smiles shakily as she reaches up to stroke Howon’s hair.

“A while… he was taking medications, but the situation suddenly worsened,” she admits. “We might have gotten a little carried away asking you to find someone, but your father and I were so worried when he first got sick... I’m sorry, Howon-ah.”

“Mom, I…” Howon tries to find enough words to apologize, to beg his parents’ forgiveness. I’m sorry for being selfish. I’m sorry for not doing more to help. I’m sorry for lying.

“I’m so sorry, Mom.” His shoulders slump as his mother embraces him, tears staining Howon’s shirt even as she rubs his back comfortingly.

“It’s okay, son. We shouldn’t have pressured you, no matter what the reason. But I’m so glad you have Woohyunie with you, especially now.”

His mother’s sincere words drive the knife deeper in Howon’s guilty conscious. He can’t possibly tell her the truth now, even if he knows he shouldn’t keep lying. She has enough to worry about…

“I think… I’m going to tell him to go home and rest,” Howon tells her, knowing that Woohyun is still waiting in the hallway. “I’ll be in the hallway, call me if you need anything.”

“Tell him thank you for coming,” Howon’s mother dabs at her eyes again, but smiles faintly for Howon as she cups his face. “We love you, son.”

Howon closes his eyes. His heart feels heavy in his chest, like it’s made of lead.

“I love you, too.”

When Howon finally leaves the hospital room, Woohyun stands up immediately, still grimacing in concern and sympathy as he follows after Howon. “Is… is everything okay?”

“Dad’s going to be okay, we think. He’ll need surgery, but the success rate is very high. The doctor is a well-known specialist,” Howon tries to sound hopeful, but he ends up repeating the information lifelessly as he sits down on the chairs at the far end of the hallway with a thud. Woohyun frowns deeply he sits down next to Howon.

He looks unsure of what to do or say, but eventually he reaches out and puts his hand gently on Howon’s knee.

“Are you going to be okay?” he asks quietly. Howon wants to laugh, because he sounds like a real boyfriend or something, but he can’t even bring himself to be sarcastic. He just feels tired, and numb, and while he doesn’t want to leave the hospital part of him just wants to go to sleep on his own bed and wake up when this is all over.

“Me? I’m fine,” Howon says, and in his head he meant to lie to Woohyun to reassure him, but instead it comes out bitter. “You know what my mom said? She said she was sorry that they pressured me to settle down with someone. Like I’m, I don’t know, totally not a selfish jerk of a son or something.”

Woohyun bites his lip. “You’re not selfish. You didn’t know, Howon.”

“I’m a terrible son.” Howon shakes his head. “All I could think about was getting them off my back, this whole time, when they were just worried about me. And Dad was…” Howon trails off. He swallows. “He was…”

“Howon-ah.”

Woohyun says his name softly, almost tenderly, and Howon is too tired and upset to remember or care that they’re in a fake relationship, and lying to his parents, or that he’s the worst son/brother/friend/human being on the planet. He doesn’t resist when Woohyun reaches out and puts his hand tentatively on Howon’s neck, pulling him so that his head is leaning against Woohyun’s shoulder.

Howon, as a rule, doesn’t cry. Crying, he had told himself many years ago, is for babies, and useless people named Hodong. Not Lee Howon. But as soon as his forehead touches Woohyun’s shoulder, something pushes him over the edge. Only a few tears escape at first, but then his entire body is shaking, wracked with quiet sobs as Woohyun slips his arm around his shoulders and holds him there.

And he doesn’t expect it to be comforting, being treated like this by Woohyun of all people, but Woohyun doesn’t say anything else as Howon cries on him. He lets Howon get it all out, then quietly offers him a handkerchief to dry his face on once he’s all finished.

“Thanks.” Howon’s voice sounds frankly terrible after crying, or about as terrible as Howon feels as he excuses himself to drag his feet to the nearby restroom to splash water on his face. Even after he returns to sit back down next to Woohyun, he feels like he just ran a marathon, like there can’t possibly be any more liquid in his body after it all leaked out of his face. But at the same time he feels oddly more relaxed, even if crying his feelings out hadn’t necessarily gotten rid of all his guilt.

Woohyun thankfully doesn’t ruin the moment for once by trying to hug Howon or anything again, but he bumps his shoulder up against Howon’s.

“Your mom came asking for you while you were gone,” he informs Howon.

“You… didn’t tell her I cried, did you?” Howon tilts his head at him.

“Nah. You’ll tell her later, when you all can laugh about it together,” Woohyun says with a wry half-smile, and both of them fall silent again. When Howon looks over at Woohyun next he’s staring at his own lap, and his hands set into stubborn fists.

“You’re not selfish, Howon, even if you think you are, you’re not,” he says suddenly.

“Huh?”

“You know, Dongwoo hyung told me once that the first thing you did when you got a job wasn’t buying yourself something,” Woohyun continues. “You helped your parents pay off debts they had because of the restaurant. A son who only thinks about himself would never do that.”

“I… guess so.” Howon shifts around uncomfortably, his eyes darting around. That’s when he spots his mother watching them from the doorway, though she looks like she’s trying to be inconspicuous about it.

Woohyun seems to notice as well, glancing over at Howon with a twinkle in his eye.

“I think your mom expects me to comfort you some more…” he whispers conspiratorially. “Should I hug you again?”

“I don’t know...” Howon whispers back. He considers their options, and after some deliberation, pulls Woohyun into a kiss.

Maybe it’s because he just cried his eyes out in front of him, or because he really is that determined to convince his mother he’s okay, or maybe because Howon knows she’ll stop spying on them if they do this. Maybe it’s all those things. Either way, Woohyun is surprised for only a moment before kissing him back, soft and more hesitant than Howon expected before pulling away, and maybe it’s because it’s Howon’s first time kissing another guy but he feels his ears get all hot, and he thinks Woohyun flushes a little too before turning away.

“Sorry. I owe you one for having to do that,” Howon apologizes, though Woohyun merely shakes his head. When he turns back to face Howon, the usual Woohyun smirk is plastered on his face.

“You’re not a bad kisser,” he says, and Howon punches his arm playfully in response before growing serious again.

“… Thanks, Woohyun.”

The sincere words cause obvious surprise in Woohyun, his eyebrows raising quizzically. “Thanks for what? For being the world’s best fake boyfriend?”

Howon rolls his eyes. Maybe he jinxed it by noticing Woohyun didn’t ruin the moment earlier.

“Sure, we’ll go with that.”

--

Thankfully, Howon’s father goes through surgery successfully, and is projected to be discharged sooner rather than later, maybe even in time for Kwangsuk’s wedding. Sunggyu and Dongwoo return from their respective business trips, and Howon isn’t too surprised when they decide to go on another trip together to catch up with each other, their first vacation alone as a couple. Howon is happy for them, but Dongwoo being Dongwoo, he still worries about leaving Howon alone for that long.

“It’s the time of year to catch cold, so be careful,” Dongwoo reminds Howon as he stands at the door with his bags packed, Sunggyu already down the hallway and calling for Dongwoo to come catch the elevator.

“I’ll be fine, hyung,” Howon reassures him as Dongwoo gives him one last hug, not thinking much of it.

Two days later, Howon is lying on the couch with a stuffy nose, sore throat, and persistent cough, but his entire body feels too heavy for him to even warm up some food, let alone go to the drugstore and get medicine.

There’s a knock on the door before Woohyun lets himself in, and he frowns at the no doubt pathetic sight of Howon wallowing in his own misery.

“I’m not in the mood for it, Nam,” Howon tells him thickly, his words sounding garbled and strange with his throat all swollen and his nose plugged. Woohyun hangs up his jacket and heads to the kitchenette, talking to Howon over his shoulder as he bustles around looking for medicine.

“You weren’t answering your messages at all for two days, so your mother and Dongwoo hyung both asked me to check on you. Good thing,” Woohyun lectures him as he miraculously unearths some medicine from one of the cabinets-organization isn’t really Dongwoo’s forte, and Howon doesn’t have the time to bother with anything but his own drawers, but Woohyun seems to know his way around. “Do you have a fever?”

“Dunno…” Howon shrugs. His face does feel sort of warm, maybe, but he honestly can’t tell anymore. Woohyun sighs exasperatedly and sits down next to him on the couch, putting the back of his hand against Howon’s forehead.

“You might have a slight one. Here, take this.” Woohyun hands over some pills and a glass of water, and Howon frowns at them dubiously.

“Are you sure these aren’t expired? They are Dongwoo hyung’s after all.”

“They’re fine. Just take them, Howon,” Woohyun shoves them at him, then a small grin creeps onto his face. “Unless you’d rather I put it in your mouth with my mouth?”

If he didn’t have one before, Howon definitely has a fever now. He makes sure to take the medicine as reluctantly as possible, glaring at Woohyun with as much force as he can muster, which unfortunately is pathetically little. “Don’t even joke about that.”

Woohyun only sighs at him again, as if Howon’s the one being unreasonable. “If you’re sick, you should say something sooner.”

“I’m fine.” Howon puts his arm over his eyes, coughing weakly. “Go back to your place, you’ll catch it.”

“You’re not fine. And I have a good immune system,” Woohyun brags, patting his chest. “I almost never catch colds.”

“They do say idiots never catch colds.” Howon laughs at his own joke, or attempts to before it turns into a hacking cough, and he rolls over on the couch miserably.

“Yah, who are you calling idiot when you can’t even move,” Woohyun scolds him. “You should be in bed with actual covers. Come on, I’ll make you some nice warm rice porridge.”

Howon tries to protest, but Woohyun hooks his arm under him and helps him to his feet rather effortlessly. He decides to blame his virus-weakened state as he hobbles over to his bed and lies down with Woohyun’s overbearing assistance.

“You don’t have to make it. Just let me rest,” he insists, but Woohyun only shakes his head, apparently dead set on playing nurse for the day.

“The medicine will help you sleep. I’ll wake you up when it’s ready,” Woohyun says soothingly. Absurdly, he reaches over to tuck Howon’s covers in, patting the comforter to make sure Howon’s neck is sufficiently covered. Not even Howon’s mom babied him like that when he was a kid, but Howon is too tired and sick to complain-he sinks back into the pillows, closes his eyes, and sleep overtakes him before Woohyun even closes the door to his bedroom.

When Howon opens his eyes next, his head feels clearer, his body significantly less achy (though still stiff from lying down all day). He sits up in bed, finally noticing that Woohyun dragged over Howon’s desk chair to his bedside and is sitting on it, arms crossed, chin drooping to his chest as he dozes peacefully. The door to Howon’s bedroom is half-open, and from his bed Howon can see that Woohyun straightened up the living room some. From the kitchenette, Howon detects the appetizing smell of rice porridge.

He looks back over at Woohyun, leaning forward to get a better look at him as he rests his elbows on his knees. His bangs are falling in his face, and there’s a little bit of drool coming out of the corner of his mouth, and he looks sweeter and more vulnerable than Howon’s ever seen him.

“Why’d you do all this for me, huh…? Do you want me to owe you even more?” he says under his breath, but the words come out more affectionately than he intended, maybe because Woohyun really did do a lot for him. After all, Howon hadn’t been able to make food or find medicine on his own.

“Howon…”

Woohyun murmurs his name softly, so softly Howon thinks he imagined it at first. He blinks a few times, thinking next that Woohyun woke up, but his eyes don’t open, and he only shifts a little in the chair and continues sleeping.

His eyes are involuntarily drawn to Woohyun’s lips again, something vague stirring in his mind as if he’s remembering a dream, though Howon’s not sure why he would dream about Woohyun’s lips of all things. Maybe it’s because of the kiss they shared in the hospital, the mere thought of it making his cheeks flush again. Without thinking, Howon reaches out to brush Woohyun’s bangs back from his forehead, but he pulls his hand back as quickly as he can when Woohyun’s eyes flutter open.

“Feeling better?” he asks, rubbing his eyes and smiling drowsily at Howon.

“I… uh, yeah, I am,” Howon doesn’t know why he feels so flustered, or why he did the thing that caused him to be flustered in the first place, but luckily Woohyun is still too sleepy to notice. “You… you didn’t have to clean up or anything too, you know. But… thanks.”

“No problem. I’ll get some porridge for you now that you’re up,” Woohyun offers, getting up out of the chair and heading for the door.

“Woohyun-ah,” Howon calls out to him, and Woohyun pauses in the doorframe, glancing over his shoulder at Howon with a smile.

“Yeeees? Need something else?”

Howon shakes his head. “I… you didn’t have to do all this for me.”

“Forget it. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t do this much?” The last, fleeting smile Woohyun gives him as he leaves to go to the kitchenette is strange, almost sad.

Ever since that night at the hospital, his emotions have become a sort of twisted labyrinth, and he doesn’t have the compass to understand anything, yet that smile makes Howon feel a pang in his heart that points him towards some larger conclusion. But he still can’t see it, not yet, and he suspects that even if he does find his way it won’t lead to anything good.

--

Things come crashing down not long after Howon catches cold.

Howon is almost completely better, but Woohyun insists on sticking around to help out, pointing out that Howon and Dongwoo haven’t vacuumed in ages, that there’s food older than Hojae still in their pantry, not to mention all the clutter and tripping hazards that come with living with Jang Dongwoo.

And Howon tries not to, but he ends up half-avoiding Woohyun on instinct, a side-effect of trying to sort out his feelings alone. He walks out into the hallway after taking a nap to help recover the last of his usual strength, but stops in his tracks when he hears Dongwoo’s voice coming from Dongwoo’s bedroom across the hallway.

It’s not Dongwoo home early, but Woohyun video chatting with him. Howon is about to speak up, but then Dongwoo says something that makes all his words die in his throat.

“Oh, Nam-goon… you’re not crying over Howonnie again, are you?” Dongwoo’s voice is tender, and impossibly sad.

“I-I didn’t mean to bother you on your vacation. I just…” Woohyun sniffles, pausing to wipe his tears away. Howon wants to run away and hide, but it’s too late for that. He feels like a deer in the headlights, or worse.

“Are you sure you don’t want to tell him how you feel?” Dongwoo asks. “If it’s hurting you this much, maybe…”

“I can’t. He doesn’t see me the way I see him. I knew that since the beginning.” Woohyun’s voice cracks again, and he pauses before continuing. “Sorry, I just… didn’t know it would hurt this much.”

“Woohyunnie…”

“I’ll be okay. I would rather be with him like this than not at all.” The resolve in Woohyun’s voice is jarring enough to drag Howon back to reality, the reality that he’s eavesdropping on a conversation he definitely shouldn’t be hearing.

Why didn’t Howon figure it out sooner? He thinks back on everything-the dinner, Howon being sick, the hospital… it should have been obvious, even to Howon. Or maybe Howon just didn’t want to see it, didn’t want to own up to how much he was hurting Woohyun all this time, but he can’t run away from the truth anymore.

He reaches out, fully opening the door to Dongwoo’s room. Woohyun whips around, nearly dropping his phone in the process, and hurriedly wipes his tears away with his sleeve.

“H-Howon…”

He sounds so defeated, and sad, and scared, all things that Nam Woohyun of all people shouldn’t be, especially because of Howon.

“I heard everything, Woohyun,” Howon waits for him to come out into the hallway, but he can’t even make eye contact at first. He stares at the floor for a long time, then finally up at Woohyun, whose mouth is set in a line that looks as troubled as Howon feels.

“I knew I was hurting my family by pretending to go out with you, but I never realized… I didn’t know I was hurting you, too,” he forces the words out, his mouth dry. “I’ll give you the jersey, anything you want-but we… we should stop this.”

“I don’t care about the jersey!” Woohyun raises his voice, then immediately flinches at his own outburst, seeming to shrink back into himself. Howon wishes Woohyun were angrier with him, for hurting him, for eavesdropping, for rejecting him-anything besides this confused, desperate sadness that’s hanging over both of them.

“Remember when you said you owed me one?” Woohyun murmurs, after a long time. He isn’t looking directly at Howon anymore, either.

Howon shifts uncomfortably, but nods.

Woohyun bites his lip. When he looks back at Howon his eyes are glossy and wide, and he looks almost desperate. “What if I asked you not to break up with me?”

It’s the last straw. Howon can’t, won’t let Woohyun hurt himself like this anymore. Not over Howon. He shakes his head.

“No, we… Woohyun, we have to. I can’t do this anymore.”

Woohyun smiles, but it’s grim and forced, and Howon feels as sickened with himself as the day his father was hospitalized.

“I should have never asked you in the first place. I shouldn’t have done any of this.” Howon shuts his eyes. He shouldn’t have lied, shouldn’t have taken the easy way out. He shouldn’t have hurt Woohyun, would have never done this if he had realized how much it would hurt him, but it’s too late now.

“I’m… I’m sorry.”

The apology falls flat, but it’s all Howon can offer. When he opens his eyes again Woohyun’s expression is unreadable, but he seems to accept it, giving Howon a tight lipped nod.

“Goodbye, Howon.”

Howon can’t help but hear the shakiness in Woohyun’s voice as he turns to leave. His brain is screaming at him to run after Woohyun, to beg his forgiveness, but he has to let go.

The front door closes quietly. Woohyun is gone. Howon exhales; he should feel better, now that the lie is over, but he doesn’t.

He only feels miserable, and alone, and the only meager comfort he has is that he one hundred percent deserves it.

--

Life without Woohyun in it, Howon finds, isn’t lonely in the sense that he normally thinks of as being lonely.

His father is discharged from the hospital with a clean bill of health, so Howon throws himself into helping him recover from his stay. He helps at the family restaurant too, takes on extra shifts at the studio, sleeps more, doesn’t look at his phone much. Dongwoo and Sunggyu try to coax him out of it, but leave him alone at his insistence eventually.

And like that, it’s easy enough for Howon to just go through the motions. He doesn’t even feel sad. It’s as if life was the equivalent of plain lukewarm oatmeal, and he just feels nothing.

Kwangsuk’s wedding day arrives, and Howon practices his fake smile in the mirror, adjusts his tie. He’s wearing a black waistcoat and slacks over a white dress shirt, plus the blazer he bought with his mother… and Woohyun.

His practiced smile stiffens a bit in the mirror, but it lasts only a second. He’s screwed up enough up until now, and he is absolutely not going to ruin Kwangsuk’s big day with his own problems.

Hojun, his older brother, is back from America for the wedding, and he actually gives Howon a hug when he comes to pick him up. Howon is glad that he seems healthy and happy, and even more glad he doesn’t ask about Woohyun when they talk on the drive to the venue.

“My business is doing really great,” he tells Howon proudly. “Have you thought about coming to help me, Howon-ah? I know your life is here, but even if you just want to try it for a year or two, hyung will help you.”

Howon thinks about Woohyun, about how he would want to avoid doing things with Dongwoo and Sunggyu if he thought Howon would be there. He sighs.

“I’ll think about it.”

The only time it’s easy to actually feel something close to happiness when he finally sees Kwangsuk and his bride, both of them looking picture perfect. Howon hugs both of them, smiling for reals for the first time in a while, but he’s stunned when Kwangsuk asks:

“Where’s Woohyun-sshi?”

“He… I…” Howon stammers, then looks at the ground, rubbing the back of his head.

“He can’t make it after all,” he says, not missing the shift in Kwangsuk’s facial expression (thankfully, his soon-to-be wife doesn’t seem to notice). “Don’t worry about it.”

“Tell him we’re sorry we missed him,” Kwangsuk says, but the look on his face says We’re talking about this later. Howon doesn’t groan in front of the bride, but he maybe kind of wants to go hide under a rock somewhere.

The ceremony itself is perfect, taking place in a brightly lit courtyard in a private banquet facility not too far from the city. Perfect aside from the fact that there’s a glaringly empty chair next to where Howon’s family is seated, anyway.

Howon, by some mechanism of fate, has a great view of where Woohyun would have been sitting from his position behind Kwangsuk. During the course of the wedding, the priest talking, the vows, Howon knows he should be paying attention-his cousin is getting married, for Christ’s sake-but no matter what he does his gaze keeps drifting back to that chair, and his mind to the person who should be sitting in it.

After Kwangsuk is successfully married, Howon manages to slip away from the rest of the well-wishers somehow in the transitional chaos between the wedding venue and the reception venue next door, sitting down on a bench somewhere outside the courtyard.

“What happened, Hoya-sshi?”

Howon looks up at the sound of Kwangsuk’s voice, the old nickname like a code between them, and laughs bitterly.

“You should go be with your wife, Kwangsukie.”

“We have the rest of our lives,” Kwangsuk points out, grandly. “Right now, you’re going to tell me what happened with you and Woohyun.”

“We broke up.” Howon shrugs; he doesn’t see much point in lying to Kwangsuk when it feels like he already figured it out. “Everything’s my fault. So it’s better this way.”

“Is it really?”

Howon frowns. “All this time, I didn’t know how he really felt. I thought… I thought I didn’t even actually like him, until it was too late.”

And he does remember thinking that he didn’t like Woohyun. He’s pretty sure there was really a time when he thought that the greasiness, the constant chatter were annoying, personality flaws even. But the Woohyun that Howon thinks about now is greasy because he wants to please, overbearing because he cares, and talks a lot because he desperately wants to feel connected to other people. The Woohyun he knows is a good, caring person, someone who deserves better than Howon spending the last few weeks doing nothing but breaking his heart.

“You love him, Howon-ah.” Kwangsuk supplies what Howon has known in his heart for a while, but hadn’t accepted until now.

I love him.

Howon repeats the words to himself in his head. He feels the weight of Kwangsuk’s hand on his shoulder, and thinks of the empty seat again. Where is Woohyun, and what is he doing right now? Does he miss Howon at all?

“How do I get him back?”

Kwangsuk grins at him before pulling him into a hug. “Telling him is a good place to start. Don’t be too late to the reception, yeah?”

Despite everything, Howon grins back. He gets up off the bench, breaking into a jog towards the parking lot as he dials a cab.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he calls over his shoulder to Kwangsuk; he can only hope that when he does return, he won’t be alone anymore.

--

The cab ride from the venue back to the apartment building is around twenty minutes, tops, but it feels like an eternity and yet not enough time as Howon thinks about what he’ll say to Woohyun.

It ends up not mattering, because his mind goes blank with anxiety as soon as he knocks at the door.

“Woohyun…? Are you there?”

There’s a dull thud on the other side of the door that signals Woohyun’s head dropping against it, but he doesn’t open it.

“If you don’t want to see me anymore, I understand,” Howon leans against the frame of the door starts tentatively, hoping Woohyun doesn’t leave him there. “My brother offered me to come with him to America, and if you’d rather I left you alone forever I would do it in a heartbeat.”

Silence. Howon takes a deep breath, tries not to let himself shake.

“But when I was at that wedding, I wasn’t thinking about moving.” he confesses. “All I could think about was you.”

“I missed you so bad it hurt. I missed having you there next to me. I wished so bad I wasn’t such an idiot, I wished I hadn’t screwed everything up and made you cry, or at least figured out sooner that I wanted to make you smile. That no matter what my reason at the time was, I would have never cried in front of you, or taken you to dinner, or held your hand, or kissed you, if I wasn’t falling in love with you too.”

By now Howon’s fingernails are digging into the skin of his palms so hard he might break the skin, and his voice sounds raw and dry, and it probably doesn’t even mean anything to Woohyun by now, but he finally said it.

I’m in love with Woohyun.

He says it to himself over and over again like a mantra, reminding himself why he’s here, why he has to be here.

“I’m sorry I made you wait so long. I’m sorry I’m dense and an idiot. Most of all I’m sorry I hurt you. But I promise, I swear to God I’ll do whatever it takes to make it right again, if you give me one more chance.”

I’m in love with you. I would give anything for you to look at me again.

“And if there is any chance at all you can forgive me, I want to go out with you for reals. I’ll do anything you want, anything to make it up to you. I’ll get down on my knees, I’ll scream it from the rooftops, anything at all, so…“

Howon stops, exhales. Woohyun still hasn’t responded but he knows Woohyun is there, just on the other side of the door, and he would give anything to reach him again.

“So… please.” He can barely get the words out without wanting to cry, or maybe scream, his voice so quiet that he doesn’t even know if Woohyun can hear him anymore.

“Please, Woohyun, I just want to see you.”

A few moments pass, the silence making it seem like an eternity.

Howon is about to try tapping the door again when it flings open suddenly, and Howon is glad he wasn’t leaning against it because he definitely would have fallen, but he doesn’t have time to think about that anymore because Woohyun’s arms are around him in an instant, his lips pressed against Howon’s before he can get another thought, let alone a word in edgewise.

“Howon,” Woohyun whispers into his mouth, letting go of his neck so he can cradle Howon’s face in his hands, and Howon slides his arms around Woohyun’s waist and kisses him back. His lips are so unbelievably warm and soft against Howon’s, and it’s only now that Howon realizes how much he’s wanted to kiss Woohyun like this, how he dreamed of touching those lips again without even knowing he wanted it to come true.

And when Howon remembers to breathe again he breathes into Woohyun, lets his mind go blank except for how Woohyun’s mouth fits perfectly to his, the way Woohyun’s tongue feels as it slides against his own, or the way their bodies press flush together. When he finally brings himself to pull back, Woohyun’s face is streaked with tears, and Howon hesitates only a little before reaching up to dry them with his sleeve, as gently as he can. He kisses Woohyun again after that, a series of soft, gentle presses instead of the long, deep one they shared earlier.

“Don’t go to America.” Woohyun murmurs, between the kisses he returns just as softly. “Don’t go anywhere, just stay here with me. And don’t leave me ever again.”

“I won’t go anywhere. “ Howon feels like his heart might actually burst if he speaks, but he buries his face in Woohyun’s hair, breathes deep, and tries. “I promise, I won’t leave you again.”

The heartfelt words don’t come naturally, but they feel right, and Howon wishes he knew how to tell Woohyun how much he means to him. Woohyun, for his part, doesn’t seem to mind that he can’t just yet, smiling into another kiss as he pulls on Howon’s tie, and then Howon finally remembers they’re supposed to be at a wedding reception right about then.

“The reception,” he says suddenly, and Woohyun’s eyes go wide. “The cake… shit, Woohyun, we need to leave like now.”

“I-I can’t go like this!” Woohyun protests, trying to retreat back into the apartment to change out of his jeans and t-shirt, but Howon doesn’t let him.

“No time, we’re going to miss everything!” He grabs the first pair of wearable shoes he sees lying near the doorway and drags Woohyun with him, hurriedly dialing another cab as they rush down the stairs.

“I can’t believe you’re going to introduce me to your family while I’m wearing this,” Woohyun complains as Howon herds him into the cab, tossing him his shoes before throwing himself in. After the initial scramble to get his seatbelt on, Howon shuffles out of his blazer, handing it to Woohyun to wear before sliding their fingers together and squeezing his hand.

“I’ll explain it to everyone. I’ve got you,” Howon promises. When Woohyun only looks at him skeptically, he tilts his head.

“I do have you, right?”

Woohyun snorts and rolls his eyes, but Howon doesn’t miss the way his cheeks flush and the corners of his mouth turn up ever so slightly.

“Yeah,” he says, squeezing Howon’s hand back. “You do.”

--

“This is my boyfriend, Nam Woohyun. He’s very handsome but didn’t have time to get dressed because of me. He also missed the ceremony because of me,” Howon says as he goes around introducing Woohyun to everyone another twenty minute cab ride later, bowing in apology and holding Woohyun’s hand tightly as Woohyun fidgets and blushes next to him.

“I-I’m very sorry for showing up late and looking like this. Please take care of me from now on,” Woohyun bows with him at every stop, speaking with only a fraction of his usual effortless social grace, but Howon can see that he’s trying his best to be genuine, and he would be lying if he said it didn’t make him fall in love a little more every time.

He doesn’t let go of Woohyun’s hand even when they finally finish greeting everyone and sit down with the rest of Howon’s family. Hojae and his grandmother immediately take to Woohyun, and Howon is even feeling a little neglected until the dancing starts, and he tears Woohyun away from his very in-depth video game discussion with Hojae so they can join the other couples on the edge of the small dance floor while a live band plays.

Kwangsuk and his wife have the first dance, of course. Howon is glad he can finally truly enjoy seeing them so happy together, and when he looks over at Woohyun he feels every bit as happy as Kwangsuk looks. When the main dance is over, another song begins and everyone else joins them, Howon pulling Woohyun by the wrist and leading him into a slow, simple dance, one of his hands holding Woohyun’s and the other resting gently on his waist as they sway back and forth.

“We should take ballroom dancing classes next time,” Woohyun tells him jokingly.

“We will before our wedding, but that’s it,” Howon says jokingly, but when Woohyun giggle-snorts in that cute dorky way of his, he thinks it might not be so bad if the joke became real someday.

Someday is later, though, because right now, Howon is just content to be near Woohyun. And Woohyun lets out a small, content sigh as well, his head resting on Howon’s shoulder as they slip their arms around each other, moving in slow circles in one corner of the dance floor as a sappy English love song plays over the speakers.

After only a few moments like this, Howon feels a wet spot on his shoulder, and he bumps the side of Woohyun’s head with his cheek a little. “Hey, you okay?”

“I’m fine. I’m definitely not crying,” Woohyun mutters, sniffling loudly, and Howon can’t help but roll his eyes a little.

“Whatever you say,” he says, squeezing his arms tighter around Woohyun to comfort him anyway. The slow love song ends, and another, happier one begins. Even though it’s just a song change, it feels oddly appropriate, like the beginning of the rest of Howon’s life.

Woohyun doesn’t say anything for a long time, but once he stops crying, he speaks up again.

“Howon?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m… I’m really happy right now.”

Howon closes his eyes. Only a couple weeks ago, he was lost in his own head, scared of what he would find, but now that he’s here with Woohyun he realizes there was nothing to be afraid of after all. The music swells, and so does his heart.

“I’m happy, too.”

--

Five years later, Howon and Woohyun are sitting down for their anniversary dinner at the very same restaurant where they had their first ‘practice date.’

“I got some new pictures from Kwangsukie. His daughter’s gonna be two in a few months,” Howon tells Woohyun over dinner, beaming proudly as he shows Woohyun the latest updates from his phone’s camera roll. “And look at this one of Hojun hyung and baby Hoyeon. He’s already crawling, apparently.”

“They really are big now. And so cute, I can see why Dongwoo and Sunggyu hyung are looking to adopt soon,” Woohyun smiles at the pictures, then beams at Howon. “We’re going to adopt too, right?”

“I have to ask you to marry me first,” Howon points out.

“You’re not going to hide the ring in the dessert or anything like that, are you? That’s a choking hazard. And also, I’m the only one allowed to be cliché around here,” Woohyun jokes.

“Of course not.” Howon eats his food and doesn’t dare tell him he’d considered it.

After dinner, they go back to the apartment they share, or have shared ever since Sunggyu finally manned up and asked Dongwoo to marry him a few years back. At the front door, Howon pretends to dig around in his pockets for the keys as usual, but pulls out a small black box instead and shows it to Woohyun.

“Howon.” Woohyun looks up at him, and his eyes are so, so big.

“Want me to get down on one knee?”

“Uh, not really. Maybe both knees, but only when we’re inside.”

Howon can’t help but grin at that. “You want to though, right?”

Woohyun blushes, despite the years they’ve been together.

“…Yeah, I do.”

He slips the ring onto Woohyun’s hand, and Woohyun leans over to kiss the corner of his mouth, smiling softly against Howon’s cheek. His hands find Howon’s, and their fingers lace tightly together. Howon feels the cool metal band around Woohyun’s ring finger press into his skin, and he smiles too.

It’s like a dream come true, except better.