feeling..um..terrible

[tacobob07]

I am such an idiot!!!! i say such shitty mean things to my friends..well, my friend...and i guess he needs to hear it, but still....its mean..ive never gotten into a fight w/him b4..i dont know..maybe im just jelouse of him and shandi's relationship..thats not the reason why i hate shandi by the way....i just dont like her....but anyways...i dont know...i guess i just love him so much that i feel like a morron when i read how he talks about shandi and not me...i guess i just need a boyfriend...or a life...maybe talk to the freinds that actually wanna talk to me and wanna have somethin to do w/me...who wanna see me and doesnt let a little things like being aggoraphobic come in between us....i mean i am extremely afraid of hott guys..well, im not afraid of them, but i just get shy and i dont talk..like yesterday..woah buddy that guy was hott..i wanna get to know him...freshman, but hott...anyways...who in the hell am i talkin to???...my computer...real funny...i just dont get why i make such a big deal about one of my best friends not talk to me anymore..i dont konw.. i guess b/c at one time or another, i thought we could be more than friends..but i guess he was just leading me on or somethin....ok, now i really kno that i need a boyfriend..new subject
I miss Amber and all of my friends..i mis andy sooo much :'(...i cant wait untill i see ames again..she rocks...tata4now