(no subject)
I've run out of words to express the way I feel. I have completely loss all sense of mentality or intelligence that I had left, not to say that I had much to begin with. I am (pardon the cliche) at the end of my rope. My fuse has burned down to the quick and I have detonated into a deep and darkened world of ultimate depression and uselessness. I give up. No matter how hard I try to make things better it doesn't matter to those whom I feel are the important ones. My world has turned in on itself in an implosion of helplessness. I hate to be the bearer of depressing thoughts and hopeless musings, but it's a fact I must learn to live with. I have no hope anymore. Pride and self respect have transformed themselves into things of the past. I fucking quit. Why should I try when the end result is always a group of prying eyes who never understand what it truly is to give yourself completely only to be danced upon like you were some sort of trophy. That's all I am. A prize to flaunt and parade about with. I'm not trying to glorify myself by any means, however I am nothing more than a pawn to the neverending system of hate and discontent that surrounds society nowadays. Nothing more than a dummy waiting for someone to shove their fist into my ass and make me speak and do whatever song and dance fits the motif of the time. So fuck it all. That's all I have to say. Nothing I do matters, and for anyone who tries to persuade me otherwise, you're wasting your time. If you could live a day in my shoes then you would understand. Until then, fuck off.