(no subject)
wowwwwwwww
so wednesday went exactly as planned.
actually it went so much like i thought it was going to, it was really creepy.
but it was also very nice. belrath is a good guy.
halloween...well it was good till sean and ward started going at it.....over me lol.
then me and sean started going at it. things suck. i really really wish i didnt do what i did.
it was so so so rude. and stupid. but i was smashed. its not fair.
but. it did open some sort of other door..............
i went to lance's house last night to watch the game....me and ward killed a whole bottle of jim beam in like
haha like 2 hours.
i dont even know what happened there...i dont know if it was the whiskey doing all of our talking, but
by the end of the night we were finishing eachother's sentences.
and holding on like we were being sucked by a giant vacuum in opposite directions.
it was too weird........i mean, its great and everything. i just have not let go of sean yet for some reason.
even though he's an asshole and hes overdramatic and he likes to fight and throw a fit all the time because he's drunk
all the time.... somethings just holding me back from letting him go just yet. i love all the things i absolutely hate about him. i cant help it.
in the heat of fridays arguments, sean finally tells me that he likes me. finally. but we can "only be friends" nothing...absolutely nothing else anymore. cause i fucked up real bad. i really wish i could go back and change that. and i dont normally ever say that.
im sure he'll get over this hating me thing. hopefully. i really do hope so. cause i like that boy way too much for my own good.
im not even excited over this crazy thing with ward cause he's still running around in my head. i know hes bad for me and im probably bad for him. but we both like that crazy shit.
shittttt what do i do
how long do i continue to wait for sean? is it even worth it?
why do i like him so much stillllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
so wednesday went exactly as planned.
actually it went so much like i thought it was going to, it was really creepy.
but it was also very nice. belrath is a good guy.
halloween...well it was good till sean and ward started going at it.....over me lol.
then me and sean started going at it. things suck. i really really wish i didnt do what i did.
it was so so so rude. and stupid. but i was smashed. its not fair.
but. it did open some sort of other door..............
i went to lance's house last night to watch the game....me and ward killed a whole bottle of jim beam in like
haha like 2 hours.
i dont even know what happened there...i dont know if it was the whiskey doing all of our talking, but
by the end of the night we were finishing eachother's sentences.
and holding on like we were being sucked by a giant vacuum in opposite directions.
it was too weird........i mean, its great and everything. i just have not let go of sean yet for some reason.
even though he's an asshole and hes overdramatic and he likes to fight and throw a fit all the time because he's drunk
all the time.... somethings just holding me back from letting him go just yet. i love all the things i absolutely hate about him. i cant help it.
in the heat of fridays arguments, sean finally tells me that he likes me. finally. but we can "only be friends" nothing...absolutely nothing else anymore. cause i fucked up real bad. i really wish i could go back and change that. and i dont normally ever say that.
im sure he'll get over this hating me thing. hopefully. i really do hope so. cause i like that boy way too much for my own good.
im not even excited over this crazy thing with ward cause he's still running around in my head. i know hes bad for me and im probably bad for him. but we both like that crazy shit.
shittttt what do i do
how long do i continue to wait for sean? is it even worth it?
why do i like him so much stillllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll