New poster: Relationship Principles (I wish I had learned in kindergarten)

[tacit]

On a mailing list I read, I recently wrote an article summarizing the basic things about relationships that I wish I had learned in elementary school. Several folks have suggested I make it into a poster. Here's a first go-round of a poster version, which I plan to have printed if there's enough interest. Let me know what you think!

Comments

[addiejd]

I like it. I don't agree with all of it, but that's because there are a few things that we don't agree on about relationships so I'm not going to bother with those. I do have one suggestion, though.

In addition to "It is possible to deeply, profoundly love someone to the bottom of your heart and still not be a good partner for that person."

I would add "It is possible to deeply, profoundly love someone to the bottom of your heart and for that person to still not be a good partner for you."

[tacit]

Now I'm curious about which bits you don't agree with.

[addiejd]

And looking at the poster, I find that it is a bit difficult to read the red text against the red heart background. Purple would make a good fit, though.

It also seems like the font of the italicized words is smaller, which also makes it more difficult to read, which might be a result of having the page anchored to both sides instead of just the left. I don't know, you're the computery person, I'm sure you can figure it out.

[spirit_genocide]

Well done. I agree with most of it. The one I definitely don't agree with is:

Life rewards people who move in the direction of greatest courage.

There is no guarantee of a reward just because someone moves forward with great courage. It only increases the odds of a reward vs. doing nothing because of fear.

[sweh]

I can tell you why I don't like...

If I take 100 risks, and 99 of them fail then I have a 1% success rate. If I step back, evaluate, determine and then choose one action that succeeds then I have a 100% success rate.

Further, of the 99 failures these may cost me (relationships, friends, money, other opportunities) and so the 99 failures may end up having negative benefit. The slate does not get wiped clean after a failure.

Even on small things; "ask 100 women for sex every night and you're likely to get laid every night" (A friend of a friend acted this way). What happens when you run out of new women to scare off? When you don't get invited to parties because people don't like the way you act? Even this "success" is ultimately a failure.

[apestyle]

But the line says to act with courage. Not thoughtlessness.

[addiejd]

The stuff about love being abundant and life rewarding people for doing certain things. They're nice to believe but not universally true.

Also, being uncomfortable can, in itself be a reason not to do something. Often times it can be a subconscious warning that something is not right with a situation, and if you're not in a position to analyze it at the time then it's better to be cautious and safe and say no and then think about the reasoning later. This is especially true in BDSM situations.

Also, the last one is just a little too mushy for me, but I think mushy works for this kind of poster. I don't think this is a poster I'd get for myself (I'm more of a sexuality map and fallacy Venn diagram), but I have a friend who could definitely use it.

[petemosq]

This was great. Can I get one to frame? :)