Getting Our Feet Wet
Continued from hereWhen it was all over we clung to each other, our ragged breaths finally slowing. Lindsey was grinning like a cheshire cat, and I buried my face in his shoulder rather than try to return a smile that might look forced. I don't know why the hell I was having trouble with this. t's not like I hadn't done this sort of thing before.
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Twelve warlocks who probably had the combined power to blow a large city or three off the face of the planet. Charging in probably wouldn't be a great idea. "You're sure you can get this artifact? I'll need to know exactly how much time we'll get to work with." That would help me pick out what weapons to use. I had a feeling while she was shopping for that I'd be busy buying a few things of my own.
I ran my fingers through my hair. "You've been there before and I haven't. Can you sketch out how the place is set up? I don't want any surprises. They aren't going to hurt you again, I'll make damn sure of that."
Already my mind was racing through various weapons that would be a lot more useful than swords. Sawed-off shotgun. Didn't matter how magickal they were, it's hard to say a spell when you've got a massive hole in your chest. "We'll find out why they're backing out, and then I'll dish out payback. It'll be fun."
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Didn't I know it. I'd gambled on that fact many a time and come out on top. But this time I had a vested interest in keeping said testicles intact.
"You're sure you can get this artifact? I'll need to know exactly how much time we'll get to work with."
I nodded, wondering for a second if he was casting my abilities to produce the artifact in a timely manner, but he didn't seem to be, so I let it slide.
"I can get it here in an hour and a half max. That good enough for you?" Okay, so I didn't totally let it slide.
"You've been there before and I haven't. Can you sketch out how the place is set up? I don't want any surprises. They aren't going to hurt you again, I'll make damn sure of that."
He was so vehement about it, so determined to kick some ass, that I actually entertained the thought of capitulating totally to his plan. I wanted revenge and he wanted to dish it out. But the problem was that was not what the firm wanted. Our first priority was to find out the specifics of why they'd reneged, and then re-negotiate to bring them back in. It was only when that tactic failed that we were authorized to take a more aggressive stance.
"We'll find out why they're backing out, and then I'll dish out payback. It'll be fun."
"Lindsey, it's not that simple. Linwood wants us to negotiate, and get them back on track if at all possible."
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I didn't give a flying fuck about what Linwood wanted. Pulling away from Lilah, I walked towards the far side of the room, trying to keep my anger in check, and losing the battle in record time. I whirled around and glared at her. "Fuck Linwood." My hands were clenched into fists and I didn't even notice.
"He's the one who ordered my brother to be tortured. The man thinks he's as good as Holland was, but he's not even fucking close." Wasn't fit to like Holland's shoes. "I take it this negotiation is one of those 'do whatever it takes' kind of processes like usual?" I didn't even wait for her to say something, I already knew the answer. It was the Wolfram and Hart way.
I swallowed and really tried to calm myself down, but it wasn't going to happen. When I spoke though, my voice had a sound I really didn't like. "What are you willing to do this time around? Obviously your personal sacrifice didn't mean jack shit to them before. Will you go another round with the dirty old men? Because I bet they'll ask for that and more." And then the bastards will just back out again.
Slowly dug my nails back out of my palms and forced my hands to open, keeping my eyes on her face. "If you're worried about what will happen to you if I kill of all of them, then let me go by myself. That way all the blame will be squarely on my shoulders. You can say I knocked you out or something and ran off." Wouldn't be too hard to knock her out, just had to know the right spot to hit.
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Of course it was. But there was a limit to how far the firm was willing to go. If I could convince them that backing out would be more potentially dangerous for them than going ahead with the deal, then we'd be back in business, and with no messy bloodshed or other body parts to deal with. Before I was able to answer him though, Lindsey barreled on through with his rant.
"What are you willing to do this time around? Obviously your personal sacrifice didn't mean jack shit to them before. Will you go another round with the dirty old men? Because I bet they'll ask for that and more."
That fucking asshole, if he'd been close enough, I would have hit him without hesitation.
"Oh I don't know, maybe they'll ask you to bend over this time." I snapped back, my arms crossing defensively across my chest.
"If you're worried about what will happen to you if I kill of all of them, then let me go by myself. That way all the blame will be squarely on my shoulders. You can say I knocked you out or something and ran off."
He wasn't going to back down, I could see it in his eyes. Damn it if he didn't have a deathwish.
"No. I'm not just worried about me, Lindsey. I'm worried about US. As in me AND you. You obviously still think that the only thing that matters to me is my job, and saving my own skin."
The words came out with a bitter edge, and I wasn't faking it. It hurt that he thought that was all I cared about.
"Well you maybe right on some things, but you're dead wrong about this. I don't want you doing something reckless and idiotic just because of some weird need to avenge my honor. Trust me, if they ask for the floor show again, I'll gut them myself."
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"If you think I'm just doing this for you, you're wrong." That was the main reason, but I had others. "I don't care about myself. After what I've had to deal with and go through, I've had enough. But as long as I'm still alive and kicking, they can hurt people I love and care about. And I won't let that happen again."
I wanted to hit things, smash them, slice the hell out of something until my rage faded away. Reaching down, I pulled one of the knives loose from my boot, whirled around and threw it into the wall as hard as I could. That felt good, but it wasn't enough.
"If I die, they'll be left alone. It's in my contract. I made sure to add that clause before I signed it. Maybe I want to see how many warlocks it'll take to bring me down." There was a smile forming on my face, and I had a feeling if I looked in a mirror right now it would be quite frightening.
"I don't want you to get hurt." I knew that the odds of us being able to kill the entire Brotherhood were very slim. But, I didn't care. I'd protect her with every ounce of energy in my body. "If someone else I care about gets hurt because of my actions..." I trailed off, not even wanting to finish it.
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I'd never seen him like this. Not even when we'd been fighting before, or at the demon brawl. I tried not to flinch when he skewered the wall with one of his knives. I didn't know what to say or do to calm him down.
"If I die, they'll be left alone. It's in my contract. I made sure to add that clause before I signed it. Maybe I want to see how many warlocks it'll take to bring me down."
Shit. I knew it. That look in his eyes. He was flirting with the idea of finally ending it, escaping from this life. Of course he wouldn't be escaping, the firm would still have him beyond death, but his family would finally be safe from any threat, protected.
I knew that Linwood would never let that happen if he could help it.
"I don't want you to get hurt. If someone else I care about gets hurt because of my actions..."
For some reason his concern made me even angrier, even more frightened. I didn't understand why I was feeling this way, and I didn't like it one bit. it was as if he was wanting me to say it was okay for him to die.
"You asshole. You're just going to throw everything away on a suicide mission, on the chance that maybe, just maybe you're family will finally be free of the firm? You want to die? You want to be set free of your obligations? Fine."
I reached into my bag, and pulled out my pistol, cocked it and aimed it at his heart.
"I'll do it. For you, right now. If you want to die so badly."
My right hand was trembling so I steadied it with my left. I hated the way my voice also shook, but I didn't back down.
"Just say the word, Lindsey, and it will all be over."
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Boy oh boy, she certainly sounded like she meant that. Lilah Morgan actually seemed a little... frightened. I'd put that fear there. She knew how to use that gun, I was was willing to bet she not only had taken a course, but probably went to the shooting range once a week.
The distance between us wasn't too far. I could close the space in only a few steps. I could see her hand shaking and heard the tremor in Lilah's voice. Now for the sixty-four thousand dollar question. Would she do it? She had more balls than most men, and there was a chance that she would.
Shifted a bit, putting the weight on the balls of my feet. Let's find out. I moved fast, closing the space between us, something I don't think she expected. In a monet I was right in front of her, the barrel of her gun shoved right up against my chest.
"Go ahead. I'd rather you do it than Linwood." He would take his time, make it last for as long as possible. I looked at her face. If I wanted to, I could take that gun away. It's not hard to disarm someone when you know how.
"Pull the trigger. It's just a tiny bit of pressure and bang!" I think she jumped a little. "I'll try not to bleed on those expensive clothes of yours, but this close... that might be a problem." I laughed, and it came out a bit more unbalanced than I'd planned on. "Come on darlin', I know its something you've always thought about doing. Kill me. Fucking do it, Lilah!"
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"Go ahead. I'd rather you do it than Linwood. Pull the trigger. It's just a tiny bit of pressure and bang!"
He was scaring me, like he had when he'd just got his evil hand, and had quit his promotion. I blinked at him, at the crazed look in his eyes.
"I'll try not to bleed on those expensive clothes of yours, but this close... that might be a problem. Come on darlin', I know its something you've always thought about doing. Kill me. Fucking do it, Lilah!"
He was egging me on, pushing at the gun with his body, laughing and looking at me like he was going insane.
I was tempted to go through with it. To squeeze the trigger and help him get one last gesture of defiance in at the firm. Before they brought him back again.
Or before he found out what I'd been doing all this time.
One little squeeze.
"Bastard." I hissed at him. "You know I can't kill you."
Then I dropped my aim and fired a shot at the ground. Well, at his foot actually. It would hurt, and it would be cumbersome but he'd live. And maybe it would buy me enough time to delay him, stop him from rushing off to get himself killed, before I could get us something tangible to back us up.
While he was still reeling at having been shot in the foot, I slapped him hard across the face.
"I hate that you made me do this, Lindsey. You're acting like a crazy idiot. And you are not going to just rush into that meeting with no plan, no contingency. If I have to shoot you in the other foot to make my point, I will. And as much as I care about you too much to actually kill you, I have no qualms about shooting non-vital parts of your body."
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I stood up, feeding off of the pain in my foot. My arm reached out before I even knew what I was doing and wrenched the gun from her fingers. As my hand closed on the butt of the gun, I pointed it at her head. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to get blood out of leather? I liked those fucking boots." Which were now totally ruined. Thanks a whole hell of a lot, Lilah.
Then my leg started to buckle and I began to swear up a storm in every language I knew. Actually impressed myself. Never thought I had that many curse words in my head. Stumbled backwards and ended up on the bed. The gun dropped to the floor, and I didn't bother picking it up again. My foot hurt too much.
Slowly pulled my boot off, and just for a laugh, I poured the blood out of it, making a little puddle on the floor. "Only you would shoot a guy in the foot right before he was going to go into battle. Thanks a heap."
Pulled my sock off and stared at the hole for a second. Then I smiled, lifting my foot up so I could look at her through the hole. "Nice shot. I can see you." I giggled. Probably should wrap it up or something.
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"Do you have any idea how hard it is to get blood out of leather? I liked those fucking boots."
Luckily, gravity was on my side, and Lindsey lost his footing and staggered backwards onto the bed, dropping the gun.
I let out a breath of relief and watched as he began to inspect the damage.
"Only you would shoot a guy in the foot right before he was going to go into battle. Thanks a heap. Nice shot. I can see you."
He laughed, and it was as if I saw a little bit of the old Lindsey return. I moved to the bathroom and searched for the kit I knew he would have. I brought it back and knelt beside him on the bed.
"Give it here." I muttered, and then proceeded to clean and bind the wound I'd just inflicted on him.
"I only did it because I needed you to stop and think for a minute." I told him, still angry at him for putting me in that position. My hands were still trembling, damn it.
"Oh, and for future reference. If you ever put a gun to my head again. You will live to regret it." I reached up and stroked the side of his face, and pulled him closer for a soft kiss. Why did I feel so sad? So torn up inside? Like I wanted to cry. This wasn't me. I didn't get this sentimental. And yet I felt emotions welling up in me that...I didn't recognize. I cupped his face and deepened the kiss. And there it was, the taste of salt. Salt tears.
I pulled away abruptly, busying myself with re-packing the medical supplies in the kit.
"I guess I'd better go do that sketch of the Brotherhood compound."
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