(no subject)
Introducing... my new (imaginary) boyfriend...
DIEGO de TRAVIESO MCHOTPANTS
This is my new boyfriend. His full name is Diego de Travieso McHotPants. He's 1/2 Italian, 1/4 Spanish and 1/4 Irish, and is 23 years old. He's about 6'4" and 225 lbs. He's got dark hair and his eyes are hazel but look dark brown/dark hazel/dark green/dark blue depending on what YOU'RE wearing. He drives a black Ferrari convertable (two seater) with black leather seats, and has a big house with a pool in the back yard. As a matter of fact, in that back yard he likes to romp (shirtless) with his German Shepherd, Di Vinci, and swim in the in-ground swimming pool as the sunsets. He also cooks, and prepares ravioli from scratch and his special home made sauce, and a bottle of impeccible wine (he's a wine expert, too!) And he'll do the dishes when I make dinner, and try to do them even when he does becasue he wants me to relax. And he never leaves the seat up. He also lets me redecorate the house and when I paint the rooms we'll get into a paint fight, and it'd be hot. And when he wants to relax, he'll lie out on the (big) bed and close his eyes and cross his arms over his chest. By the way, it's a nice chest- Diego is BUILT hot like whoa. And he has a black tatoo of a Celtic cross on his right shoulder blade. But not only does he have a nice body and personality, but he's also talented and intelligent. Not only is he a musician (he plays guitar, bass guitar, piano, drums, sings, and plays the bass), but he can also speak eight languages (Spanish, Italian, English, German, French, Portuguese, Gaelic and Aramaic), and he'll constantanly whisper sweet nothings in my ear in one of the languages listed above. He dropped out of college in his sophomore year, though, because it wasn't enough excitement for him...but I am. And sometimes, when I come home the lights will be all off and the bouse will be full of roses and candles and I shall walk upstairs and in the bathroom (the area with the vanity and humungo!tub) it'll be completely dark except for where the candles line the tub, and there are rose petals floating on the water, and a Diego, and it'll be hot. And there are two small rooms with toilets, and whenever he does #2 he sprays air freshener so that the house doesn't smell like Diego-turds. And he'll constantly buy me presents, although I insist that he doesn't have to:
Diego: *hands me a present*
Me: Diego, you shouldn't have!
Diego: But you deserve it.
Me: *sigh* Alright, if you insist.
And whenever he's touring with his band (unlike SOME people's bands, they practice, have a record contract and CAN PLAY), he'll call me every night, and sometimes send me a plane ticket so I can come visit him. And he doesn't ahve a gay purple and yellow wallet, but a nice, thin leather one that he has him his back pocket so when I wrap my arms around his waist, I can feel it and he tells me to take it and go spoil myself and I laugh and then I jump him, but he likes it. And he's very loyal, and doesn't even look at other women, although they throw themselves at him because please, who wouldn't? And whenever he goes out with the guys, he only has one beer, and only has wine a couple times a month with nice dinners, and a champagne on New Years, and that's all he drinks (and he doesn't smoke). He likes to read, and sometimes I'll find him sitting on a window seat, stretched out and relaxing while reading some fine piece of literature, so I'll sit down next to him and he'll idly play with my hair while he reads. And he gets along with my parents and Diego, my dad, and I sit and watch the Cubs games together, and he pretends to be jealous when he sees me checking out Gonzalaz. He knows, though, that all my attractions to other men are purely physical, because I am who made him the man he is today and he can't live without me. Oh, and he's the old-fashioned romantic type, and wants to cherish me forever.
DIEGO de TRAVIESO MCHOTPANTS
This is my new boyfriend. His full name is Diego de Travieso McHotPants. He's 1/2 Italian, 1/4 Spanish and 1/4 Irish, and is 23 years old. He's about 6'4" and 225 lbs. He's got dark hair and his eyes are hazel but look dark brown/dark hazel/dark green/dark blue depending on what YOU'RE wearing. He drives a black Ferrari convertable (two seater) with black leather seats, and has a big house with a pool in the back yard. As a matter of fact, in that back yard he likes to romp (shirtless) with his German Shepherd, Di Vinci, and swim in the in-ground swimming pool as the sunsets. He also cooks, and prepares ravioli from scratch and his special home made sauce, and a bottle of impeccible wine (he's a wine expert, too!) And he'll do the dishes when I make dinner, and try to do them even when he does becasue he wants me to relax. And he never leaves the seat up. He also lets me redecorate the house and when I paint the rooms we'll get into a paint fight, and it'd be hot. And when he wants to relax, he'll lie out on the (big) bed and close his eyes and cross his arms over his chest. By the way, it's a nice chest- Diego is BUILT hot like whoa. And he has a black tatoo of a Celtic cross on his right shoulder blade. But not only does he have a nice body and personality, but he's also talented and intelligent. Not only is he a musician (he plays guitar, bass guitar, piano, drums, sings, and plays the bass), but he can also speak eight languages (Spanish, Italian, English, German, French, Portuguese, Gaelic and Aramaic), and he'll constantanly whisper sweet nothings in my ear in one of the languages listed above. He dropped out of college in his sophomore year, though, because it wasn't enough excitement for him...but I am. And sometimes, when I come home the lights will be all off and the bouse will be full of roses and candles and I shall walk upstairs and in the bathroom (the area with the vanity and humungo!tub) it'll be completely dark except for where the candles line the tub, and there are rose petals floating on the water, and a Diego, and it'll be hot. And there are two small rooms with toilets, and whenever he does #2 he sprays air freshener so that the house doesn't smell like Diego-turds. And he'll constantly buy me presents, although I insist that he doesn't have to:
Diego: *hands me a present*
Me: Diego, you shouldn't have!
Diego: But you deserve it.
Me: *sigh* Alright, if you insist.
And whenever he's touring with his band (unlike SOME people's bands, they practice, have a record contract and CAN PLAY), he'll call me every night, and sometimes send me a plane ticket so I can come visit him. And he doesn't ahve a gay purple and yellow wallet, but a nice, thin leather one that he has him his back pocket so when I wrap my arms around his waist, I can feel it and he tells me to take it and go spoil myself and I laugh and then I jump him, but he likes it. And he's very loyal, and doesn't even look at other women, although they throw themselves at him because please, who wouldn't? And whenever he goes out with the guys, he only has one beer, and only has wine a couple times a month with nice dinners, and a champagne on New Years, and that's all he drinks (and he doesn't smoke). He likes to read, and sometimes I'll find him sitting on a window seat, stretched out and relaxing while reading some fine piece of literature, so I'll sit down next to him and he'll idly play with my hair while he reads. And he gets along with my parents and Diego, my dad, and I sit and watch the Cubs games together, and he pretends to be jealous when he sees me checking out Gonzalaz. He knows, though, that all my attractions to other men are purely physical, because I am who made him the man he is today and he can't live without me. Oh, and he's the old-fashioned romantic type, and wants to cherish me forever.