Future and stuff...
It's nearly 2 in the morning. This kids is why you don't take your ADD meds that late in the day.
I've been thinking a lot lately about what's next. Those who know me personally probably know the back story but a number of you I only know from LJ so I'll sum up. When the market crashed my business went with it. I watched my marriage fall apart and found myself in a personal, financial, and emotional death spiral. I was rudderless and made a lot of mistakes trying to get back on track. One good decision I made was to use those VA benefits that were sitting dormant and go back to school. I was always told I'd be a great engineer. Since I'm good at math and like building things, that's what I started toward. I realized after a time though that very few engineers actually build things. Sure, they design things and often oversee the "making" of those things but they rarely get their hands dirty. That combined with the fact that I was 35 with two kids made me realize that I didn't want to spend 3 more years becoming an engineer. Our local community college has one of the top machinist programs in the nation. I took the intro class where we learned the manual lathe and mill and I was hooked. I've spent the last year learning machining and CNC programming. I have a couple more classes and there will be no more VA stipend and I'll have to look for a real job. A few months ago I realized that I've never actually been a "job seeker". I worked for my dad in high school, joined the Air Force and when I got out I was self-employed. The couple of jobs I have had were either simple jobs that paid little and required no resume or I was hired by a friend. I have that wonderful mix of confident and terrified when I think about the coming job search.
That brings us to now. I have one class this semester I HAVE to take. I'm also taking an advanced manual machine elective which brings me to 8 credit hours. If I go half time, my VA stipend is much less so I'll have to find a job now. If I take another 4 hours I can delay the job hunt for a few more months. I've applied for a few positions and continue to do so but since I have the option of waiting, I'm only applying to the jobs I really want. In machining you have two kinds of shops, job shops and production shops. The job shops do a lot of prototype work and one of a kind parts. There's lots of variety and innovation to keep me focused. The production shops are just that. Lots of machines making thousands of parts all within a couple thousandths of an inch of being identical. I'd learn a lot in a production shop but I'm sure it would get monotonous pretty quickly. So, if I find a great job between now and the start of school, I'll take it and go to school part time. If not I'll pick up 4 hours of independent study and build that Tesla steam turbo-generator I've been lusting after.
So my professional life seems on track, now I just have to work on that pesky personal life. Monica and I have been together over two years now. It's been a bittersweet experience. Much more sweet than bitter but the bitter is there and I am forced to admit that the lion's share of the responsibility for it lies on my shoulders. I have ADD. I try to wear it as a badge of honor but it more often feels like a scarlet letter. Like everything in life, challenges are more about what you make of them than what they make of you. Unfortunately I've let myself be defeated far to often and find myself making excuses more often than celebrating successes. I've found a medication that helps but it's by no means a magic bullet. We've been working out and trying to eat right and that helps a lot but after a while it comes down to personal responsibility and hard work. That's where I am now. Working very hard and often falling on my face. But I'm making an extra effort to get back up instead of staying down. I've never met a woman more worth the effort than Monica.
Lastly, it's the new year and as cliche as resolutions are, I've made a few:
I will learn Spanish. I don't need to be fluent but I want a much better working knowledge of it so that I can participate in a large part of the Tucson culture I'm missing.
This house will be as complete as our budget will allow by summer.
We will be at least 10% energy self sufficient. 25% if you don't include the cars.
I'm already working out regularly so I resolve to continue to do so and push myself.
I will start meditating again.
I'm sure I've forgotten something but it's a good start. Happy new year everyone! Now I try to sleep.
I've been thinking a lot lately about what's next. Those who know me personally probably know the back story but a number of you I only know from LJ so I'll sum up. When the market crashed my business went with it. I watched my marriage fall apart and found myself in a personal, financial, and emotional death spiral. I was rudderless and made a lot of mistakes trying to get back on track. One good decision I made was to use those VA benefits that were sitting dormant and go back to school. I was always told I'd be a great engineer. Since I'm good at math and like building things, that's what I started toward. I realized after a time though that very few engineers actually build things. Sure, they design things and often oversee the "making" of those things but they rarely get their hands dirty. That combined with the fact that I was 35 with two kids made me realize that I didn't want to spend 3 more years becoming an engineer. Our local community college has one of the top machinist programs in the nation. I took the intro class where we learned the manual lathe and mill and I was hooked. I've spent the last year learning machining and CNC programming. I have a couple more classes and there will be no more VA stipend and I'll have to look for a real job. A few months ago I realized that I've never actually been a "job seeker". I worked for my dad in high school, joined the Air Force and when I got out I was self-employed. The couple of jobs I have had were either simple jobs that paid little and required no resume or I was hired by a friend. I have that wonderful mix of confident and terrified when I think about the coming job search.
That brings us to now. I have one class this semester I HAVE to take. I'm also taking an advanced manual machine elective which brings me to 8 credit hours. If I go half time, my VA stipend is much less so I'll have to find a job now. If I take another 4 hours I can delay the job hunt for a few more months. I've applied for a few positions and continue to do so but since I have the option of waiting, I'm only applying to the jobs I really want. In machining you have two kinds of shops, job shops and production shops. The job shops do a lot of prototype work and one of a kind parts. There's lots of variety and innovation to keep me focused. The production shops are just that. Lots of machines making thousands of parts all within a couple thousandths of an inch of being identical. I'd learn a lot in a production shop but I'm sure it would get monotonous pretty quickly. So, if I find a great job between now and the start of school, I'll take it and go to school part time. If not I'll pick up 4 hours of independent study and build that Tesla steam turbo-generator I've been lusting after.
So my professional life seems on track, now I just have to work on that pesky personal life. Monica and I have been together over two years now. It's been a bittersweet experience. Much more sweet than bitter but the bitter is there and I am forced to admit that the lion's share of the responsibility for it lies on my shoulders. I have ADD. I try to wear it as a badge of honor but it more often feels like a scarlet letter. Like everything in life, challenges are more about what you make of them than what they make of you. Unfortunately I've let myself be defeated far to often and find myself making excuses more often than celebrating successes. I've found a medication that helps but it's by no means a magic bullet. We've been working out and trying to eat right and that helps a lot but after a while it comes down to personal responsibility and hard work. That's where I am now. Working very hard and often falling on my face. But I'm making an extra effort to get back up instead of staying down. I've never met a woman more worth the effort than Monica.
Lastly, it's the new year and as cliche as resolutions are, I've made a few:
I will learn Spanish. I don't need to be fluent but I want a much better working knowledge of it so that I can participate in a large part of the Tucson culture I'm missing.
This house will be as complete as our budget will allow by summer.
We will be at least 10% energy self sufficient. 25% if you don't include the cars.
I'm already working out regularly so I resolve to continue to do so and push myself.
I will start meditating again.
I'm sure I've forgotten something but it's a good start. Happy new year everyone! Now I try to sleep.