(no subject)
Apparently the firm has a trial in one of the satellite offices' cities next week. And someone, either Mayhem or the client, dropped a ball this morning that could impact the trail. Martyr and Mayhem are leaving today, and what do you think they want to do?
Make B deal with it, of course. They want him to run to the office, do some legal wizardry, and run said wizardry up to the house before they leave this afternoon.
I said no. I didn't yell, but I was firm that no, B could not borrow my car to complete this errand. I said that after the considerable disrespect that has been shown to me, I'm not inclined to bail them out of a jam. I reminded him of how they demean B's value to the office, and are always so quick to remind him that it's Mayhem's name on the door and that B doesn't earn the pathetic salary he's paid to begin with. So I questioned why he felt compelled to be their problem-solver. Mayhem's name, Mayhem's business, Mayhem's problem, sez I.
Not to mention responding to them in this fashion, of scrambling to pick up balls that they dropped (or, as in this case, picking up the balls that the client dropped which are really their responsibility to address) simply translates into no impetus to change. I mean, they're not going to change anyway, but at least this way, we're not being taken advantage of in the process.
And it pisses me off that when B gets irritated, he takes it out on everyone in the most passive-aggressive way possible. He barely speaks and mostly relies on grunts as his primary form of communication. And he'll seriously act like that all day, until it comes to head in a giant fight where he finally gets his annoyance off his chest and stops acting like a jerk, or I cave because I fucking hate fighting with him. This is especially true if the issue of contention involves me doing what I believe is in the best interest of the family's safety.
I recognize that this isn't an issue of safety, but we're talking about behavior patterns which connect to family safety. And besides, I shouldn't have to justify not wanting to help them out after the way they've treated me for the last few weeks. Perhaps if they saw fit to provide B with a car for the same amount of money they threw down the well for the pipe dream that was Rex's marijuana farm, I might be more inclined to work with them. Not to mention they've been circulating e-mails around the whole family unit about how I hate the family and refuse to help them anyway, so perhaps this is a little prophecy brought home.
I just wish there was a way we could establish boundaries without it always causing a fight with my husband. I was proud of him for how he handled this conflict, but I feel like ever since Dad went home, his resolve has started to slip. I wonder how long before we're back in the old pattern of behavior where his parents pull punch after punch, and he either looks the other way or fights with me for failing to duck. Based on the discussion we had about the necessity of his Bar raise, I'm really not optimistic.
I'm glad I tempered my emotional response to the scuffle with his folks the week before last. I knew, on some level, it would not last. And unfortunately, as northernwalker pointed out, these next few weeks are going to be what make or break us.
Make B deal with it, of course. They want him to run to the office, do some legal wizardry, and run said wizardry up to the house before they leave this afternoon.
I said no. I didn't yell, but I was firm that no, B could not borrow my car to complete this errand. I said that after the considerable disrespect that has been shown to me, I'm not inclined to bail them out of a jam. I reminded him of how they demean B's value to the office, and are always so quick to remind him that it's Mayhem's name on the door and that B doesn't earn the pathetic salary he's paid to begin with. So I questioned why he felt compelled to be their problem-solver. Mayhem's name, Mayhem's business, Mayhem's problem, sez I.
Not to mention responding to them in this fashion, of scrambling to pick up balls that they dropped (or, as in this case, picking up the balls that the client dropped which are really their responsibility to address) simply translates into no impetus to change. I mean, they're not going to change anyway, but at least this way, we're not being taken advantage of in the process.
And it pisses me off that when B gets irritated, he takes it out on everyone in the most passive-aggressive way possible. He barely speaks and mostly relies on grunts as his primary form of communication. And he'll seriously act like that all day, until it comes to head in a giant fight where he finally gets his annoyance off his chest and stops acting like a jerk, or I cave because I fucking hate fighting with him. This is especially true if the issue of contention involves me doing what I believe is in the best interest of the family's safety.
I recognize that this isn't an issue of safety, but we're talking about behavior patterns which connect to family safety. And besides, I shouldn't have to justify not wanting to help them out after the way they've treated me for the last few weeks. Perhaps if they saw fit to provide B with a car for the same amount of money they threw down the well for the pipe dream that was Rex's marijuana farm, I might be more inclined to work with them. Not to mention they've been circulating e-mails around the whole family unit about how I hate the family and refuse to help them anyway, so perhaps this is a little prophecy brought home.
I just wish there was a way we could establish boundaries without it always causing a fight with my husband. I was proud of him for how he handled this conflict, but I feel like ever since Dad went home, his resolve has started to slip. I wonder how long before we're back in the old pattern of behavior where his parents pull punch after punch, and he either looks the other way or fights with me for failing to duck. Based on the discussion we had about the necessity of his Bar raise, I'm really not optimistic.
I'm glad I tempered my emotional response to the scuffle with his folks the week before last. I knew, on some level, it would not last. And unfortunately, as northernwalker pointed out, these next few weeks are going to be what make or break us.