Well, and I know on Facebook, everybody tries to put their best facade forward. Nothing makes me get down on myself as a mother or as a person as quickly as reading other people's virtual lives that depict it's all rainbows, all the time, because it never has been with me and it never will be. I'm just not, by definition, a particularly happy person.
What's also interesting about this is that this person wasn't talking about me or directing her comment at me, but it still upset me because I do occasionally complain about the woes of being a SAHM. Because as awesome as it is, there are also things that really, really suck about it. And the things that might suck about my SAHM situation may not be something that another SAHM can relate to, but that doesn't make the frustration any less valid.
Plus, am I wrong for thinking that when it comes to these kinds of things, where women are being shamed for admitting the so-called "ideal" maybe isn't all that it's cracked up to be, we should offer them support to come forward? Women like Andrea Yates are empowered by their sense of taboo about their emotions. Obviously, the woman had some major dysfunction going on anyway, but she was also taught to believe depression meant she was disloyal to God. Being told that a complaint reflects you are ungrateful strikes me as one in the same--neither moral proselytizing is particularly helpful, and it simply shames a woman in real need of support.
Just out of curiosity, I've heard the phrase "navel gazing" before but don't really get the implication. Can you fill me in?
Navel-gazing means being totally self-absorbed and narcissistic. Someone who spends all their emotional time on themself, without considering how their behavior affects others.
And don't get me started on Andrea Yates- I firmly believe her husband should have stood trial too. He knew she was unstable at best and left their children in harm's way.*cranks rant switch to off with difficulty*
You're right though, that being told a complaint isn't valid doesn't make the issue go away. A sprained ankle may hurt less than a broken leg, but that doesn't make it better.
What's also interesting about this is that this person wasn't talking about me or directing her comment at me, but it still upset me because I do occasionally complain about the woes of being a SAHM. Because as awesome as it is, there are also things that really, really suck about it. And the things that might suck about my SAHM situation may not be something that another SAHM can relate to, but that doesn't make the frustration any less valid.
Plus, am I wrong for thinking that when it comes to these kinds of things, where women are being shamed for admitting the so-called "ideal" maybe isn't all that it's cracked up to be, we should offer them support to come forward? Women like Andrea Yates are empowered by their sense of taboo about their emotions. Obviously, the woman had some major dysfunction going on anyway, but she was also taught to believe depression meant she was disloyal to God. Being told that a complaint reflects you are ungrateful strikes me as one in the same--neither moral proselytizing is particularly helpful, and it simply shames a woman in real need of support.
Just out of curiosity, I've heard the phrase "navel gazing" before but don't really get the implication. Can you fill me in?
And thanks for the comment. :)
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And don't get me started on Andrea Yates- I firmly believe her husband should have stood trial too. He knew she was unstable at best and left their children in harm's way.*cranks rant switch to off with difficulty*
You're right though, that being told a complaint isn't valid doesn't make the issue go away. A sprained ankle may hurt less than a broken leg, but that doesn't make it better.
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