Thank you. Maybe it's the marker that determines our devotion--that we still think of things we should have done better. Even now, as an adult, it means the world to me when my dad brings up a past event and says, "You know, I was wrong. And I'm sorry about that. And here's how I would do it differently." He loves me enough that he never stops thinking, never stops trying to be a better parent.
I realize death and parenting are two different things; I can't get the kind of do-over, but I can recognize that Savannah taught me so much about life and even death. Even in the end, she gave me ample experiences to know what to do better next time. The way she left wasn't horrible, but there were ways I could have made it better for both of us.
In the end, my very faithful companion was one of my greatest educators. It's not a silver lining, exactly, but having other people who witnessed our relationship over the years tell me that I truly did what I could, that I loved and cared for her and was a competent dog owner--those are the things giving me strength right now. Those are my silver linings. That I had the privilege to borrow her for 14 years, more than most dogs even get in a lifetime, is its own invaluable treasure.
I realize death and parenting are two different things; I can't get the kind of do-over, but I can recognize that Savannah taught me so much about life and even death. Even in the end, she gave me ample experiences to know what to do better next time. The way she left wasn't horrible, but there were ways I could have made it better for both of us.
In the end, my very faithful companion was one of my greatest educators. It's not a silver lining, exactly, but having other people who witnessed our relationship over the years tell me that I truly did what I could, that I loved and cared for her and was a competent dog owner--those are the things giving me strength right now. Those are my silver linings. That I had the privilege to borrow her for 14 years, more than most dogs even get in a lifetime, is its own invaluable treasure.
Thank you.
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