Personal Post: Memorial

[tabloidscully]

It's hard not to be disappointed that instead of landing at the airport and being back home with friends and family members, I'm caring for a sick baby who seems to have caught the tail end of the infection that kept me grounded in the first place

Comments

[cmariewt]

Wow. I knew you had one sibling who had passed, but I somehow missed the fact that you had two. Were they both older than you? To have two children die in the same unfortunate way.... I couldn't even imagine.

[tabloidscully]

Billy died first, in 1976, I think? I honestly can't remember, but he was only about six weeks old. Brittany was born in October of 1982, and died in February.

I tend to fixate more on Brittany. I'm not even sure I've ever mentioned Billy by name. Probably because her death, despite occurring before I was even born, was hugely instrumental in my life. For example, my father had a vasectomy after she was born. He didn't have it reversed until several months after she died. In all likelihood, if she had lived--I never would have been born.

Plus, given that I lacked a close relationship with my mom, I spent most of my childhood wishing for a big sister that never came. Much of my pattern in later life has been attaching to older females to fill that void for me.

So, I've rarely mentioned the death of my eldest brother, because it simply doesn't effect me the same way.