Vent Post: Facebook Moderation
Have you noticed that someone will make a conversation piece, and then when others take up that conversation, they'll get defensive about it?
That just happened with someone on Facebook. They shared a status update about having a nice time with their ex-husband and his new wife. Not being someone who is friends with their ex-husband, I tend to think that's kind of silly, even if you have kids. If I wanted to be friends with you, I wouldn't have divorced you; I would have tried to make the marriage work, you know?
So someone else responded, echoing my sentiments. I replied saying that it weirds me out when my parents share the same space . The individual who made the status update responded with her perspective, explaining that she and her ex share too much not to be friends, that the approach was more beneficial for the kids, and that "when you get older, you have less time for bitterness." A few other people responded and I did too. I chose my words carefully but explained that in many ways, having separate households was universally better suited for my family (my brothers will probably disagree) and that the ideal of being friends with your ex is great if you can achieve it, but most couples can't.
To which the original commenter immediately began sniping, "I didn't say what worked for me had to work for everyone. I just said I had a nice day."
Okay, fair enough; but you DID encourage the conversation by saying why being friends "works better for everyone." You did imply anyone not willing to be friends with their ex is immature and bitter. There was no indication in your previous comment you wanted to just share what a nice day you had; you went out of your way to explain why being friends is better and you did it in a general, universal way. So actually, you were saying what worked for you had to work for everyone.
But, since I'm not in the mood to deal with this particular person's passive-aggressive crap, I just ended it by saying, "I'm glad you had a nice day. I just thought I would share from my perspective of being a kiddo of divorced parents who will never be friends."
If you don't want commentary, you cut it off at the beginning; not just when someone disagrees with you.
That just happened with someone on Facebook. They shared a status update about having a nice time with their ex-husband and his new wife. Not being someone who is friends with their ex-husband, I tend to think that's kind of silly, even if you have kids. If I wanted to be friends with you, I wouldn't have divorced you; I would have tried to make the marriage work, you know?
So someone else responded, echoing my sentiments. I replied saying that it weirds me out when my parents share the same space . The individual who made the status update responded with her perspective, explaining that she and her ex share too much not to be friends, that the approach was more beneficial for the kids, and that "when you get older, you have less time for bitterness." A few other people responded and I did too. I chose my words carefully but explained that in many ways, having separate households was universally better suited for my family (my brothers will probably disagree) and that the ideal of being friends with your ex is great if you can achieve it, but most couples can't.
To which the original commenter immediately began sniping, "I didn't say what worked for me had to work for everyone. I just said I had a nice day."
Okay, fair enough; but you DID encourage the conversation by saying why being friends "works better for everyone." You did imply anyone not willing to be friends with their ex is immature and bitter. There was no indication in your previous comment you wanted to just share what a nice day you had; you went out of your way to explain why being friends is better and you did it in a general, universal way. So actually, you were saying what worked for you had to work for everyone.
But, since I'm not in the mood to deal with this particular person's passive-aggressive crap, I just ended it by saying, "I'm glad you had a nice day. I just thought I would share from my perspective of being a kiddo of divorced parents who will never be friends."
If you don't want commentary, you cut it off at the beginning; not just when someone disagrees with you.