Personal Post: Family Time
Today was our first full day of having Hayden at the house. We brought him over last night, right before it was his bed time. We gave him a bath, then put him to sleep in the crib. He seemed amazed at the size of it, but loved all of the toys waiting for him. I've decked his room out in an aquarium theme, so there's a lot of bright colors, and fish, which he likes. I picked up some over-sized wall hooks and have a starfish, sea horse and swirly crab hanging from them (rather than jackets) and put up blue shelves which I promptly stacked with a turtle and a frog. A friend on Facebook suggested I get a rotating light that will broadcast aquarium patterns on the ceiling and help him sleep, which I think is an awesome idea. I'm just grateful his purifier arrived on Monday.
I have to admit, it was a more challenging task than I expected. As B and I were talking about it after putting Hayden to bed, he thinks having Hayden in a smaller space is helpful, but I think it's more stressful. It's hard to find stuff for Hayden to do because even though the house is unpacked, it's not completely organized in a way that's super conducive to children having a good time. I lucked out in that we finally got Hayden a toy organizer today (I've been looking for a toy box for him for months) and while it retails for over $50 at Target, I found it on Craigslist for just $20! The only work we had to do on it was stain the wood black to match his crib and dresser.
I went ahead and separated his toys already. I'm excited to put them away because then I'll finally feel like Hayden's room is presentable enough for pictures. Sephie's room is in good shape, but we still need to set up the crib. I'm trying to decide if I want to put up any shelves or not. It might be cute just from the perspective of having a place to mount photos, but black shelves are expensive. Maybe we can just buy some white ones from the store and spray paint them black, too. I definitely need to order her air purifier.
But, back to Hayden. He was definitely not on his best behavior today. Lots of boundary testing, talking back, and general crab-appleness. I took him with me to Walgreen's because we needed some last minute items, and he tried to throw a temper tantrum when I wouldn't let him hold my car keys. As per the usual routine, he tried to let his legs go limp, but I buckled down and charged him back to his feet while he was screaming. What's interesting about Hayden is he truly sucks at multi-tasking. He can either walk, or he can cry, but he's incapable of doing both at the same time. So, knowing this, I knew the quickest way to get him out of the tantrum was to make him walk for a few feet, but some customer in the store loudly informed the person next to her she's found the best way to end a tantrum is to "let them cry it out."
Awesome, lady. You know what works for your kid. It doesn't work for mine. And sure enough, after walking two aisles over, Hayden apparently couldn't remember why he was upset in the first place, and sat forlornly chewing on a cracker he'd brought into the store. Personally, I can't stand the people that just sit there and watch while their kid freaks out. I feel like a judgmental jerk every time I grit my teeth hearing a child cry or scream, because I've been around enough children to know that you can't always control their behavior. Like everyone has a bad day now and then, every kid is bound to have a moment or two during the day where you ask yourself what in the hell you were doing procreating in the first place, because they hate you and everyone at the restaurant or movie theater or grocery store hates you too, and you hate yourself because you should have some innate knowledge of how to turn them off, and you don't.
Anyway, my point is, I admit it's a horrible thing to hate the people that can't control their kids, to roll my eyes when it seems like parents are more amused by their kids' antics rather than embarrassed. It's not like I want to see them haul off and deliver a whoopin', but it's one of those so totally awkward situations I hate being part of. Admittedly, I was embarrassed to have Hayden screaming at the top of his lungs over whether he could carry my keys, I was irritated that by dragging him up to his feet and forcing him to walk it probably looked like child abuse, and completely annoyed that people would be drawing their own conclusions and judging me regardless of what I did. What a taste of horrible things to come, huh? Imagine when I will have successfully pissed both Hayden and Sephie off in public, at the same time. No, that won't be uncomfortable at all.
I have some concerns about that time, mostly if I'm up for it. I will say I was surprised that the idea of hitting Hayden never even crossed my mind. For years, I've feared that when I struggled with the sensation of being overwhelmed as a parent, my default response would be to struggle with whether or not to beat the tar out of my kid in public. Instead, I talked to Hayden soothingly--not in a way that suggested his behavior was okay, but to avoid scolding him and try to encourage some less reactive behavior. Like, "Hayden, let's not throw a tantrum in the middle of the store. How are you going to pick out your new toothbrush if you're crying too hard to breathe?" This is also generally the way I speak to my dogs when I'm disciplining them.
Other than the decorations of Hayden's room and a crash course in child-rearing, we did a lot of interior design around the house. Hung pictures and posters in the living room, cleaned out the storage under the stairs and moved some of the stuff for Sephie's future down there, like her Exersaucer. We arranged the living room to be a bit friendlier in design to the baby gear we don't want to store under the house, like her Pack 'N Play and the bassinet from Dad and Sheila. I'm feeling a bit more zen, especially as B set up our new TV and our game consoles.
Despite the difficult day, I still find myself pleased that we're functioning as a family. Having Hayden here has completed something for me, though what, I can't exactly say. One week of newlywed bliss is still going strong, though I did discover B has a nasty habit of just leaving Hayden's soiled diapers wherever he takes them off at. I'm not surprised--this is a habit he inherited from his mom, who does the SAME thing, and dear Lord does it ever drive me crazy.
Which reminds me. B and I have officially decided to cloth diapers for Sephie. So, if anyone has any tips, suggestions, or cloth diaper gear they're willing to part with (I'll gladly pay the shipping cost!) please speak up now.
I have to admit, it was a more challenging task than I expected. As B and I were talking about it after putting Hayden to bed, he thinks having Hayden in a smaller space is helpful, but I think it's more stressful. It's hard to find stuff for Hayden to do because even though the house is unpacked, it's not completely organized in a way that's super conducive to children having a good time. I lucked out in that we finally got Hayden a toy organizer today (I've been looking for a toy box for him for months) and while it retails for over $50 at Target, I found it on Craigslist for just $20! The only work we had to do on it was stain the wood black to match his crib and dresser.
I went ahead and separated his toys already. I'm excited to put them away because then I'll finally feel like Hayden's room is presentable enough for pictures. Sephie's room is in good shape, but we still need to set up the crib. I'm trying to decide if I want to put up any shelves or not. It might be cute just from the perspective of having a place to mount photos, but black shelves are expensive. Maybe we can just buy some white ones from the store and spray paint them black, too. I definitely need to order her air purifier.
But, back to Hayden. He was definitely not on his best behavior today. Lots of boundary testing, talking back, and general crab-appleness. I took him with me to Walgreen's because we needed some last minute items, and he tried to throw a temper tantrum when I wouldn't let him hold my car keys. As per the usual routine, he tried to let his legs go limp, but I buckled down and charged him back to his feet while he was screaming. What's interesting about Hayden is he truly sucks at multi-tasking. He can either walk, or he can cry, but he's incapable of doing both at the same time. So, knowing this, I knew the quickest way to get him out of the tantrum was to make him walk for a few feet, but some customer in the store loudly informed the person next to her she's found the best way to end a tantrum is to "let them cry it out."
Awesome, lady. You know what works for your kid. It doesn't work for mine. And sure enough, after walking two aisles over, Hayden apparently couldn't remember why he was upset in the first place, and sat forlornly chewing on a cracker he'd brought into the store. Personally, I can't stand the people that just sit there and watch while their kid freaks out. I feel like a judgmental jerk every time I grit my teeth hearing a child cry or scream, because I've been around enough children to know that you can't always control their behavior. Like everyone has a bad day now and then, every kid is bound to have a moment or two during the day where you ask yourself what in the hell you were doing procreating in the first place, because they hate you and everyone at the restaurant or movie theater or grocery store hates you too, and you hate yourself because you should have some innate knowledge of how to turn them off, and you don't.
Anyway, my point is, I admit it's a horrible thing to hate the people that can't control their kids, to roll my eyes when it seems like parents are more amused by their kids' antics rather than embarrassed. It's not like I want to see them haul off and deliver a whoopin', but it's one of those so totally awkward situations I hate being part of. Admittedly, I was embarrassed to have Hayden screaming at the top of his lungs over whether he could carry my keys, I was irritated that by dragging him up to his feet and forcing him to walk it probably looked like child abuse, and completely annoyed that people would be drawing their own conclusions and judging me regardless of what I did. What a taste of horrible things to come, huh? Imagine when I will have successfully pissed both Hayden and Sephie off in public, at the same time. No, that won't be uncomfortable at all.
I have some concerns about that time, mostly if I'm up for it. I will say I was surprised that the idea of hitting Hayden never even crossed my mind. For years, I've feared that when I struggled with the sensation of being overwhelmed as a parent, my default response would be to struggle with whether or not to beat the tar out of my kid in public. Instead, I talked to Hayden soothingly--not in a way that suggested his behavior was okay, but to avoid scolding him and try to encourage some less reactive behavior. Like, "Hayden, let's not throw a tantrum in the middle of the store. How are you going to pick out your new toothbrush if you're crying too hard to breathe?" This is also generally the way I speak to my dogs when I'm disciplining them.
Other than the decorations of Hayden's room and a crash course in child-rearing, we did a lot of interior design around the house. Hung pictures and posters in the living room, cleaned out the storage under the stairs and moved some of the stuff for Sephie's future down there, like her Exersaucer. We arranged the living room to be a bit friendlier in design to the baby gear we don't want to store under the house, like her Pack 'N Play and the bassinet from Dad and Sheila. I'm feeling a bit more zen, especially as B set up our new TV and our game consoles.
Despite the difficult day, I still find myself pleased that we're functioning as a family. Having Hayden here has completed something for me, though what, I can't exactly say. One week of newlywed bliss is still going strong, though I did discover B has a nasty habit of just leaving Hayden's soiled diapers wherever he takes them off at. I'm not surprised--this is a habit he inherited from his mom, who does the SAME thing, and dear Lord does it ever drive me crazy.
Which reminds me. B and I have officially decided to cloth diapers for Sephie. So, if anyone has any tips, suggestions, or cloth diaper gear they're willing to part with (I'll gladly pay the shipping cost!) please speak up now.