Personal Post: Pregnancy Politics, Vince Binder, Parenting Conflict

[tabloidscully]

All day long, I've been struggling with what to post. Since the reinvention of my journal, I've generally tried to keep my topics limited to avoid the long, rambling style that I previously engaged in. It feels somehow more organized to have one specific target in mind when I write these days

Comments

[seraphprowess]

I'm not seeing an option for you at this point other than to take your dad's advice and just state that nobody but you and B will be in there. It seems like that would cause the least amount of drama. I agree that's not fair bc it's you that's going to be in pain, etc., so you should be able to keep close who you want for comfort and not be forced to deal w/those that will cause you more stress in being present. It's also incredibly unfortunate that your mom feels manipulating situations for her own benefit as her favored power-play. It's not lost on me that you're forced just to try your best not to play her game in order to remain as unscathed as possible. That sucks honey, and you're right, you deserve to be able to be comfortable and do make your own choices for your own delivery and, for that matter, your own pregnancy.
Remember back when I was younger, more naive, and mostly ignorant of non-religious viewpoints on abortion? The biggest thing that would trip me up was when people brought up things like what if the baby is disabled or have a genetic disorder, or what if the woman was raped, or what if it was a child (as in the article you posted on fbk)... I'd just been taught it was wrong in all circumstances, that anyone who would even consider having one was irresponsible and too sexually active than they should be, that they lacked morality, that their conscience was dysfunctional bc they condoned murder of a poor innocent child. I'll admit it, when I first started reading your lj, I thought you were a heathen. I'm not going to lie and say that I'm completely pro-choice now. I do, however, think that there are definite circumstances, such as those I've previously mentioned, when the humane thing, the still should have a good conscience thing, is to decide not to carry the pregnancy to term. Then again, in a perfect world, not only would those kind of circumstances not come up, but people should be educated enough to have safe sex, to take necessary precautions so that unplanned pregnancy doesn't occur. Then again, in a perfect world, rape and genetic disorders wouldn't happen either. Unfortunately, in our imperfect world, choice is necessary, those things do happen, and in a lot of those cases, I agree w/you, that going w/the belief that God loves those he's made, I think he would give value to those who would be worse off w/the pregnancy just as much as the new lives being created. A sad statistic is that as abortion as a choice went up, suicide rates went down. Having a child w/a disability, a genetic disorder, or just plain having a child when you're not capable of raising it, causes depression, causes people to feel suicide is their only way out of their responsibility, their burden. I feel like just stating how sad that all is comes off as a bit trite.
I'm sorry to hear about Vincent. I did see that there was a group on fbk in regards to him missing. I wasn't sure if you randomly joined the group bc of it being a good cause, or if it was someone you or someone you knew personally knew.
Sending you hugs and love.

[tabloidscully]

Unfortunately, after several discussions on the topic, I've had no choice but to conclude you are correct. Regardless of how I moved forward in this, someone is going to get their feelings hurt. This wouldn't bother me so much because as I've stated to others, pregnancy is NOT a democracy. However, I just don't want to put up with the drama that is going to follow whatever decision I make.

Trying to reason with my mother will not work. Even though I am an adult, she continues to view me as a child (specifically, her child) and will likely try and tell me what to do. My only saving grace is that I'm six states away and she can't force herself into the birthing room, as I imagine she would try to do if I were giving birth at, say, Shawnee Mission Hospital. Even explaining that I don't have the money to bring her out (because I really don't think I will) will ultimately not sway her on this. Telling her that the Birthing Center policy won't allow multiple people in there won't satisfy her either, but what can she do?

It will, however, prevent my brothers from creating further issue with me. Oddly enough, I don't think it will be a big deal to DJ if I give that reason (he works in hospitals day in and day out, so he witnesses first hand why such policies are in place, so he'll get it on a logical level even if there is some emotional disconnect around the inclusion of his mother) but Ryan will not accept it under any circumstances. Which, whatever--he's not the father, so he gets no say anyhow. Plus if my brother's history is indicative of anything, something he'll declare as unacceptable for me he'll end up doing himself five years down the road.

Abortion has always been a tricky topic. But truly pro-life people need to support abortion under the Clinton mantra, because the latest wave of anti-choice legislation doesn't even make provisions for a woman's life being in danger. And most people don't realize that the vast majority of life-threatening conditions do not even appear until the third trimester, and of those, most of them guarantee that the fetus will not survive outside of the womb anyway. And a woman has the right to make that call for herself--the legislation in Oklahoma definitely opens the door for a woman to not only be lied to about the limitations of her child (read: birth defects) but to likewise be lied to about her own health and safety.

On the bright side, being considered a heathen actually amuses me quite a bit.

[seraphprowess]

At this point, it amuses me too. My mom's in denial that my sister and I have become completely agnostic/atheist. Also, I've learned since then that a "heathen" is actually someone who participates in the Norse religion, as in Odin, Thor, Loki, etc.