Rising up from the ashes
Between all my various problems (computer, school, boys, etc.), you'd think I had abandoned my lj for good. But honestly, things were just so frustrating lately that I really didn't feel like posting. I mean, it's hard enough trying to cope with Britney's crack-up and the Van Halen (with David Lee Roth, one of the few men I would willingly risk getting an STD to be a groupie for) reunion tour postponed indefinitely, so dealing with my real-life issues has posed quite the challenge! But here's what's going on, the short-hand version behind the cut.
Let's start with school and the fact that this semester is my least favorite yet. It's not that it's difficult-- it's just boring. And not boring in that "I'm too smart for this" way, because you know me well enough to know that I'm not one of those snobs. I'm just not feeling the love for the material this semester. It's rough falling out of love with professors and classes when you can remember a time not so long ago when you just couldn't get enough. Maybe I'm just delving further into my jaded disillusionment, but I suppose everyone has to have crummy semesters and this one just happens to be mine. C'est la vie...
Then there was my computer meltdown. For some reason, my user account got deleted and my computer started running super-slowly and I thought that all my writing and music files were gone for good. No, yours truly did not curl up in the fetal position and cry her eyes dry. Instead, she got practical and did some Google research and was able to recover her writing and backed up her music files. I had to drop my poor little laptop off to the tech guy at the library and being the saint that he is, he fixed the problem. I went a week without my computer and that was long enough, thank you very much. But I did learn a valuable lesson from the experience: Next time, I'm getting a Mac.
I decided that with my seasonal depression and the stress I've been under (it's showing in my complexion, if you catch my drift) to drop a 1 credit short course I'd signed up for, not realizing it was the weekend before my Advanced Writing Project proposal was due. This means I'm only taking 17 hours instead of the overload of 18. So I went over to drop the course and I discovered that I'd get a $600 refund! While that sounds great, about half of that has to pay off my credit card and the check is available not this Friday but the following, which is kind of a bummer. But hey, I'll take what I can get when I can get it.
In the midst of working on essays and other side projects--I sound like a pretentious frontman of a band--I was dealing with the grad. student, the one I had the huge crush on and that I thought liked me too. I mean, we've emailed back and forth and we talk and I thought things could really work out this time. Well, all of a sudden, he turns on me like a dog with distemper. I had sent him a casual email and he replied telling me that I was "A good writer, but, and I don't mean to be offensive here, but you seem like someone who may be wound a little tight." I don't know about you, but I think it's pretty impossible to not be offended by something like that. I mean, he hasn't even read the above! I emailed him back and I was tactful about it. The subject was never brought up again. Of course, he still stares and gives me compliments--such as blatantly looking me up and down and telling me he "liked my boots," which were of the knee-high variety. But then he sort of just stopped talking to me, though it didn't stop him from staring at me in class. So I finally broke our two-week silence yesterday and we ended up talking for an hour, during which we both laughed and joked like old times, but he mentioned the G-word, Girlfriend. As in, "My girlfriend and I are moving into a new apartment." The word he hasn't used in any of our conversations since September. The word he obviously isn't thinking about when he checks me out. But the weird part is, I'm glad he said it. Now I'm no longer wondering why he's not asking me out for coffee or actual dates. I'm not angry or upset with him either. I suppose I have sort of blossomed in the looks department recently and I guess I should be flattered that he's noticed. Of course, I wished he'd noticed and done something about it, but I can't have it all.
So now I'm home for a week, celebrating mid-winter break with a whole load of work to do. I think professors forget about the "break" part. But I've got some good things I'm working on, that I can't talk about now, but one of them includes completing this essay that I'm going to submit to a couple of lit. journals. I don't know that I'll be accepted, per say, but I'm going to pimp my writing--I need some street cred. Keep an eye out for some sporadic updates. I'm trying to get back in the swing of things.
Let's start with school and the fact that this semester is my least favorite yet. It's not that it's difficult-- it's just boring. And not boring in that "I'm too smart for this" way, because you know me well enough to know that I'm not one of those snobs. I'm just not feeling the love for the material this semester. It's rough falling out of love with professors and classes when you can remember a time not so long ago when you just couldn't get enough. Maybe I'm just delving further into my jaded disillusionment, but I suppose everyone has to have crummy semesters and this one just happens to be mine. C'est la vie...
Then there was my computer meltdown. For some reason, my user account got deleted and my computer started running super-slowly and I thought that all my writing and music files were gone for good. No, yours truly did not curl up in the fetal position and cry her eyes dry. Instead, she got practical and did some Google research and was able to recover her writing and backed up her music files. I had to drop my poor little laptop off to the tech guy at the library and being the saint that he is, he fixed the problem. I went a week without my computer and that was long enough, thank you very much. But I did learn a valuable lesson from the experience: Next time, I'm getting a Mac.
I decided that with my seasonal depression and the stress I've been under (it's showing in my complexion, if you catch my drift) to drop a 1 credit short course I'd signed up for, not realizing it was the weekend before my Advanced Writing Project proposal was due. This means I'm only taking 17 hours instead of the overload of 18. So I went over to drop the course and I discovered that I'd get a $600 refund! While that sounds great, about half of that has to pay off my credit card and the check is available not this Friday but the following, which is kind of a bummer. But hey, I'll take what I can get when I can get it.
In the midst of working on essays and other side projects--I sound like a pretentious frontman of a band--I was dealing with the grad. student, the one I had the huge crush on and that I thought liked me too. I mean, we've emailed back and forth and we talk and I thought things could really work out this time. Well, all of a sudden, he turns on me like a dog with distemper. I had sent him a casual email and he replied telling me that I was "A good writer, but, and I don't mean to be offensive here, but you seem like someone who may be wound a little tight." I don't know about you, but I think it's pretty impossible to not be offended by something like that. I mean, he hasn't even read the above! I emailed him back and I was tactful about it. The subject was never brought up again. Of course, he still stares and gives me compliments--such as blatantly looking me up and down and telling me he "liked my boots," which were of the knee-high variety. But then he sort of just stopped talking to me, though it didn't stop him from staring at me in class. So I finally broke our two-week silence yesterday and we ended up talking for an hour, during which we both laughed and joked like old times, but he mentioned the G-word, Girlfriend. As in, "My girlfriend and I are moving into a new apartment." The word he hasn't used in any of our conversations since September. The word he obviously isn't thinking about when he checks me out. But the weird part is, I'm glad he said it. Now I'm no longer wondering why he's not asking me out for coffee or actual dates. I'm not angry or upset with him either. I suppose I have sort of blossomed in the looks department recently and I guess I should be flattered that he's noticed. Of course, I wished he'd noticed and done something about it, but I can't have it all.
So now I'm home for a week, celebrating mid-winter break with a whole load of work to do. I think professors forget about the "break" part. But I've got some good things I'm working on, that I can't talk about now, but one of them includes completing this essay that I'm going to submit to a couple of lit. journals. I don't know that I'll be accepted, per say, but I'm going to pimp my writing--I need some street cred. Keep an eye out for some sporadic updates. I'm trying to get back in the swing of things.