i'll stand on the ocean until i start sinking
I miss Cornell. I really really miss it. I've said so many times that Ithaca is a great place to go to college, but I wouldn't want to actually live there. Right now though, I wish I could. I miss it so much.
I miss the gorges and the arches and the waterfalls. I miss the snow and the beautiful seasons. I miss my Goldwin Smith. And the commisserating statues. I know this doesn't mean anything to most of you because ironically I didn't actually make that many great friends there. But I found my amazing boy there. And, regardless of how many friends I had, the single best year of my life so far has been spent there. I want to walk up the slope, I want to read in the A.D. White room. I want to make the long walk to the crummy little grocery store in Collegetown, then trek all the way back reprimanding myself for buying a 2 liter soda or a six pack, because it gets so damn heavy. I know this sounds really over the top.
I was cleaning out a bunch of hastily-packed folders and papers from my desk at school this evening. I found a flier, urging me to attend a meeting of "The Quad," one of Cornell's several literary mags. It said "meet in the English alcove of Goldwin Smith." Even though I never went to it, or to most of the similarly advertised events, I was suddenly so choked up. Will I ever get a flier like that again? I mean, duh, I know I'll get fliers. But do you guys know what I mean? It's like, wow, that chapter of my life is just over. No more college. I couldn't bring myself to throw away the flier, I've thrown away so many things like that.
Sigh. I just miss it so much. I don't know if I'm ready for life outside. I want to go back to those friday nights, lounging around in my room with James as we lazily deliberate whether we'll go out or not. Almost always followed by an 11 o'clock trip to J's or to the bubble tea place and the inevitable movie or two. It was so simple but somehow so great. I'm scared that we'll, or I'll, never be able to recapture it.
I'm sorry for being such a downer. I'm getting my wisdom teeth out tomorrow morning. The prospect has got me in kind of a bad mood I guess. And it'll probably be a while before I get over losing my Cornell. I just feel lonely here, it doesn't fit as well.
I'm scared about my teeth. Please pray for me. x.x
I miss the gorges and the arches and the waterfalls. I miss the snow and the beautiful seasons. I miss my Goldwin Smith. And the commisserating statues. I know this doesn't mean anything to most of you because ironically I didn't actually make that many great friends there. But I found my amazing boy there. And, regardless of how many friends I had, the single best year of my life so far has been spent there. I want to walk up the slope, I want to read in the A.D. White room. I want to make the long walk to the crummy little grocery store in Collegetown, then trek all the way back reprimanding myself for buying a 2 liter soda or a six pack, because it gets so damn heavy. I know this sounds really over the top.
I was cleaning out a bunch of hastily-packed folders and papers from my desk at school this evening. I found a flier, urging me to attend a meeting of "The Quad," one of Cornell's several literary mags. It said "meet in the English alcove of Goldwin Smith." Even though I never went to it, or to most of the similarly advertised events, I was suddenly so choked up. Will I ever get a flier like that again? I mean, duh, I know I'll get fliers. But do you guys know what I mean? It's like, wow, that chapter of my life is just over. No more college. I couldn't bring myself to throw away the flier, I've thrown away so many things like that.
Sigh. I just miss it so much. I don't know if I'm ready for life outside. I want to go back to those friday nights, lounging around in my room with James as we lazily deliberate whether we'll go out or not. Almost always followed by an 11 o'clock trip to J's or to the bubble tea place and the inevitable movie or two. It was so simple but somehow so great. I'm scared that we'll, or I'll, never be able to recapture it.
I'm sorry for being such a downer. I'm getting my wisdom teeth out tomorrow morning. The prospect has got me in kind of a bad mood I guess. And it'll probably be a while before I get over losing my Cornell. I just feel lonely here, it doesn't fit as well.
I'm scared about my teeth. Please pray for me. x.x