(no subject)
i just really had the urge to update... things have been really hard lately, i dont know if its just me but i just kind of feel like the weight has not at all been lifted from my shoulders even though its last trimester of senior year. i gave up my entire spring break to go back east and look at colleges... im glad i did but i feel like i missed a lot while i was away and then of course i got like insanely ill from the plane and missed 2 weeks of school... so now i have tons and tons of homeowrk to make up... well actually i made up most of it... prom is in like 3 weeks- i dont have a dress and i dont have a date as of now and i dont think i really want one because i just want to have fun with my friends and not babysit them all night... i dont know...
to top it off i am insanely nervous about college! i think i've decided to go to Gettysburg college in pennsylvania by myself... i dont even think anyone is going to college nearby either... i'll be really far from home, by myself, with people who "met someone from california once"--- well ok maybe not all people are going to be like that but i just dont want to be the "girl from LA" or have anyone ask me about celebrities or ask me how many bathrooms are in my house or how many cars my family has.... i think i just need to get over all this bullshit... yeah im nervous but im also increddibly excited!!! i get to start over and be a whole new person... which i probably wont do because i really like who i am... but ill get to meet all new people and expirence small town life for once...
i have a feeling everything is going to get better from now on... stress will be like 90% gone and the fact were graduating will begin to set in more... i know i most likely will not keep in touch with like 85% of the people in my grade but im really glad ive met all of them and spent like 6 years with them even if were not friends. i learned something from each and every person i look forward to seeing what everyone has accomplished in 10 years...
im excited for the future but scared shitless at the same time... but maybe i should try and focus on keeping my grades up instead of worrying about the next few months... when i know i can get my senioritis undercontrol then i can worry about the future....