Love Letters
Joining in selenic76's February Fandom Fest with a trio of love letters.
In fandom as a whole, especially in my home base of The Sentinel, I've found the most wonderful, supportive, kind, caring, generous, funny, talented, dear friends - but my love letters for today are not to you, my beloved friends, even though you deserve all the love letters (and love) in the world. No, today I wanted to write to Jim (Ellison, 'The Sentinel') and Blair (Sandburg, the student/scientist and, most would say, 'The Guide'). Just because. (After all, I write about them; it's probably time to actually say something directly to them. :-))
Dear Jim,
I have a suspicion that many Sentinel fans love you because, well, you're a sentinel. Those fancy senses that provide so much scope for imaginative thinking, storytelling, and angst (not to mention providing extra scope for the erotically minded)… the (canon) mystical blue jungle and spirit jaguar and that famous merge… the (fanon) playground of Sentinels bonding with Guides…
Those things aren't why I love you. You could have completely ordinary senses and absolutely zero acquaintance with surreal blue jungles and black jaguars, not know a guide from a hill of beans, and I'd still love you.
(Well, as long as you were with Blair, that is.)
Why? Because you're a fascinating man, strong and vulnerable and (often) beleaguered. Because you're a hero (and an unassuming one). Because you're a good guy who can sometimes be a real jerk. Because you have a dry sense of humor and a definite (and sometimes persnickety) temper, along with seriously flawed taste in women and a killer line in almost-not-there smiles. Because you have a killer line in very-much-there smiles, too, and a really killer line in crinkles at the corners of your eyes when you smile any of your smiles. Because you read Kerouac. Because you wear white socks. Because when you think Blair might be hurt, you touch his face so gently and caringly it makes me hurt to watch. Because you're a good friend (except to Blair, sometimes). Because when it really counts (unless Blair's physically hurt - or, say, dead), you can't see past the tip of your own nose.
Because you and Blair are so darn good together, even when both of you are screwing it up royally.
Dear Blair,
Okay, yes, I love you partly because of your hair. It's not a deal-breaker, but I really, really like it. And I really, really like the earrings and the bowling shirts, and if TPTB had put me in charge of wardrobe, you would always have worn jeans. You're just a jeans kind of guy to me; jeans and flannel shirts and layers and weird sweaters…
And yes, I love you partly because you say so much. Not always with words - although you and words are definitely BFF, especially you and the subspecies of words known as 'bullshit' - but with your gestures, your expressions, your blue, blue (so very blue) eyes. And actually, for someone with such a mobile and expressive face, you say the most to me with the expressions that are so subtle they're barely there at all; I can see a whole story's worth of emotion in just one fleeting arch of an eyebrow or a momentary stillness of your face.
So we've established that I'm shallow. (But really, that jawline, that neck, that mouth - can anyone blame me?) I love you for other reasons too, though; less shallow ones: I love that you can be snarky and sarcastic and that you aren't nearly as noble as fanon sometimes makes you out to be. I love that you work the angles when you need to - and that you aren't always working the angles. I love that you're afraid of a lot of the situations your association with Jim throws you into and that you aren't afraid to show how afraid you are - and that you never give up despite that fear. I love that you screw up, and I love that when you screw up, you admit it and try to fix it. I love that you, who can be so caring and good with people, can also sometimes be an oblivious jerk. I love that you, like Jim, sometimes don't see what's right in front of your face.
I love that you and Jim are so very good together except when you're hurting each other (and I love that, too).
Dear Jim-and-Blair-Together,
I love that you have so much chemistry. I love that you're so very unlike and yet… aren't. I love that you fit together like two perfectly mated pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. I love that you touch each other all the time and don't even seem to notice that you're doing it. I love the way you look at each other - well, you know, when you're not pissed off at each other (but I kind of love the way you look at each other even then). I love that you share the loft and are so enticingly domestic with each other. I love who you've been together in canon, and I love who you could be together beyond canon.
I love that back in the day you inspired a huge treasure-trove of truly outstanding writing, and that even today you have outstanding authors still finding new and wonderfully written things to say about you.
Because I am an iconoclast, I love that you give me so much to love that isn't the traditional Sentinel and Guide based love (but I also love that the whole "sentinel" thing is there, whenever I want it).
I love The Wall Slam and the chest pokes and the chest pats and the lapel smoothings and the lingering chest pats…
…and the chemistry. Did I mention the chemistry? (So. Much. Chemistry.)
Thanks, guys. <3333
In fandom as a whole, especially in my home base of The Sentinel, I've found the most wonderful, supportive, kind, caring, generous, funny, talented, dear friends - but my love letters for today are not to you, my beloved friends, even though you deserve all the love letters (and love) in the world. No, today I wanted to write to Jim (Ellison, 'The Sentinel') and Blair (Sandburg, the student/scientist and, most would say, 'The Guide'). Just because. (After all, I write about them; it's probably time to actually say something directly to them. :-))
Dear Jim,
I have a suspicion that many Sentinel fans love you because, well, you're a sentinel. Those fancy senses that provide so much scope for imaginative thinking, storytelling, and angst (not to mention providing extra scope for the erotically minded)… the (canon) mystical blue jungle and spirit jaguar and that famous merge… the (fanon) playground of Sentinels bonding with Guides…
Those things aren't why I love you. You could have completely ordinary senses and absolutely zero acquaintance with surreal blue jungles and black jaguars, not know a guide from a hill of beans, and I'd still love you.
(Well, as long as you were with Blair, that is.)
Why? Because you're a fascinating man, strong and vulnerable and (often) beleaguered. Because you're a hero (and an unassuming one). Because you're a good guy who can sometimes be a real jerk. Because you have a dry sense of humor and a definite (and sometimes persnickety) temper, along with seriously flawed taste in women and a killer line in almost-not-there smiles. Because you have a killer line in very-much-there smiles, too, and a really killer line in crinkles at the corners of your eyes when you smile any of your smiles. Because you read Kerouac. Because you wear white socks. Because when you think Blair might be hurt, you touch his face so gently and caringly it makes me hurt to watch. Because you're a good friend (except to Blair, sometimes). Because when it really counts (unless Blair's physically hurt - or, say, dead), you can't see past the tip of your own nose.
Because you and Blair are so darn good together, even when both of you are screwing it up royally.
Dear Blair,
Okay, yes, I love you partly because of your hair. It's not a deal-breaker, but I really, really like it. And I really, really like the earrings and the bowling shirts, and if TPTB had put me in charge of wardrobe, you would always have worn jeans. You're just a jeans kind of guy to me; jeans and flannel shirts and layers and weird sweaters…
And yes, I love you partly because you say so much. Not always with words - although you and words are definitely BFF, especially you and the subspecies of words known as 'bullshit' - but with your gestures, your expressions, your blue, blue (so very blue) eyes. And actually, for someone with such a mobile and expressive face, you say the most to me with the expressions that are so subtle they're barely there at all; I can see a whole story's worth of emotion in just one fleeting arch of an eyebrow or a momentary stillness of your face.
So we've established that I'm shallow. (But really, that jawline, that neck, that mouth - can anyone blame me?) I love you for other reasons too, though; less shallow ones: I love that you can be snarky and sarcastic and that you aren't nearly as noble as fanon sometimes makes you out to be. I love that you work the angles when you need to - and that you aren't always working the angles. I love that you're afraid of a lot of the situations your association with Jim throws you into and that you aren't afraid to show how afraid you are - and that you never give up despite that fear. I love that you screw up, and I love that when you screw up, you admit it and try to fix it. I love that you, who can be so caring and good with people, can also sometimes be an oblivious jerk. I love that you, like Jim, sometimes don't see what's right in front of your face.
I love that you and Jim are so very good together except when you're hurting each other (and I love that, too).
Dear Jim-and-Blair-Together,
I love that you have so much chemistry. I love that you're so very unlike and yet… aren't. I love that you fit together like two perfectly mated pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. I love that you touch each other all the time and don't even seem to notice that you're doing it. I love the way you look at each other - well, you know, when you're not pissed off at each other (but I kind of love the way you look at each other even then). I love that you share the loft and are so enticingly domestic with each other. I love who you've been together in canon, and I love who you could be together beyond canon.
I love that back in the day you inspired a huge treasure-trove of truly outstanding writing, and that even today you have outstanding authors still finding new and wonderfully written things to say about you.
Because I am an iconoclast, I love that you give me so much to love that isn't the traditional Sentinel and Guide based love (but I also love that the whole "sentinel" thing is there, whenever I want it).
I love The Wall Slam and the chest pokes and the chest pats and the lapel smoothings and the lingering chest pats…
…and the chemistry. Did I mention the chemistry? (So. Much. Chemistry.)
Thanks, guys. <3333