Gratitude.
Because tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day for this country, I want - need - to fling a whole bunch of gratitude your way, gratitude for all of you, my dear, amazing friends.
I can't promise to be very present on either LJ or DW for a while yet, but I will do what I can. Just know that none of you is ever far from my thoughts or my heart, 'kay?
I've told a few people but haven't posted about it before - it's hard somehow to say these things but maybe somehow it will help somebody in some obscure, bizarre way. Um, anyway, I posted shortly after my amazing Serious died that maybe she left me at that time because something was going to happen and I wouldn't be able to take care of her, that somehow she was trying to make things easier for me. Turns out that was true. I ended up in the hospital in August, spending six weeks on IV antibiotics, after initial surgery that I'll apparently still be healing from for months yet, and taking a daily chemo drug for who knows how long, maybe radiation or more surgery in the future.
Okay, that sounds dire, I know - and it was; almost, anyway - but I feel so so so much better than I have for a disturbingly long time, so it's not dire any more. (And I will be completely healed eventually, I know this.) My life is currently in upheaval mode, slowly trying to find ways to deal with a lot of problems I made for myself while I felt so trapped in feeling awful and hopeless about being able to afford or even handle - scaredy cat me - medical help.
But, you know, here, I am. I didn't go to that great writing haven in the sky, or whatever. I figure there must be a reason for that, considering how close I came and how much needs to work out so I can have a livable life for now and the future - but one thing I darn well want and NEED to do is to try to make sure everyone knows how much I appreciate them and value them and care about them. That totally includes all of you, my wonderful friends.
Also, I still do very much want to honor my Serious by telling her story a little here. I find, though, that I was too sick to really feel much beyond feeling bad when she died and I'm missing her like crazy right now and not quite ready to write about her yet.
Also, writing fic and even reading fic haven't resurfaced yet. I hope they do soon; I miss them! Sentinel Thursday! And Secret Santa starting soon, I hope!
Okay, I will sign off for now. Everybody reading this? Please feel hugged to bits. And know how grateful I am to know you and have you even a little bit in my life.
Posted on DW and LJ. Read DW comments (comments:
). Leave a comment on the DW post.
I can't promise to be very present on either LJ or DW for a while yet, but I will do what I can. Just know that none of you is ever far from my thoughts or my heart, 'kay?
I've told a few people but haven't posted about it before - it's hard somehow to say these things but maybe somehow it will help somebody in some obscure, bizarre way. Um, anyway, I posted shortly after my amazing Serious died that maybe she left me at that time because something was going to happen and I wouldn't be able to take care of her, that somehow she was trying to make things easier for me. Turns out that was true. I ended up in the hospital in August, spending six weeks on IV antibiotics, after initial surgery that I'll apparently still be healing from for months yet, and taking a daily chemo drug for who knows how long, maybe radiation or more surgery in the future.
Okay, that sounds dire, I know - and it was; almost, anyway - but I feel so so so much better than I have for a disturbingly long time, so it's not dire any more. (And I will be completely healed eventually, I know this.) My life is currently in upheaval mode, slowly trying to find ways to deal with a lot of problems I made for myself while I felt so trapped in feeling awful and hopeless about being able to afford or even handle - scaredy cat me - medical help.
But, you know, here, I am. I didn't go to that great writing haven in the sky, or whatever. I figure there must be a reason for that, considering how close I came and how much needs to work out so I can have a livable life for now and the future - but one thing I darn well want and NEED to do is to try to make sure everyone knows how much I appreciate them and value them and care about them. That totally includes all of you, my wonderful friends.
Also, I still do very much want to honor my Serious by telling her story a little here. I find, though, that I was too sick to really feel much beyond feeling bad when she died and I'm missing her like crazy right now and not quite ready to write about her yet.
Also, writing fic and even reading fic haven't resurfaced yet. I hope they do soon; I miss them! Sentinel Thursday! And Secret Santa starting soon, I hope!
Okay, I will sign off for now. Everybody reading this? Please feel hugged to bits. And know how grateful I am to know you and have you even a little bit in my life.
Posted on DW and LJ. Read DW comments (comments:
). Leave a comment on the DW post.