Meme!
So I really like these 5 second movies especially when I understand the puns, otherwise the rest just make me go ‘wat’.
Aaaand a meme from
mardia, who also gave me some fabulous questions!
Leave a comment saying "WE CAN’T STOP NOW!"
- I'll ask you five questions to satisfy my curiosity.
- Update your journal with the answers to your questions.
- Include this explanation and offer to ask other people questions.
1. Surprise! Laurence is turned into a (very fetching) woman. Tell me what shenanigans would ensue, and how hard would Tharkay be face-palming?
I am inclined to say EVERY SHENANIGAN EVER but that is rather unspecific. Uh, I can see two scenarios happening-one where everyone pretty much freaks out, and the other is Laurence doing his “AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!??!” offscreen but after a few deep breaths, he tries to go on with his life AS IF NOTHING HAPPENED and, of course, FAILING.
So what I’m thinking is that Laurence and Temeraire have Adventures in Australia and find a magical object that turns him into a woman. After Laurence (and crew) freaks out, he goes shopping with Emily for some proper clothes and stays and what-have-you. I mean, it’s not as if he’s not going to hide the fact that he’s a woman now and he really can’t anyway, not with those BOSOMS he’s gonna have.
He frequently will become frustrated by the anatomy changes, blushing a little when washing (with other women, and Emily, which… awkward hygienic questions will ensue. Emily bears this good-naturedly). But he’ll find practical uses too, like being able to hook things against his hip and fitting into smaller places and maybe using his boobs as a table/cushion, idk. Temeraire would probably not see anything different and wonder WHY IT WOULD MATTER and Laurence is like OF COURSE IT MATTERS and then there’s this back and forth between them until Laurence huffs and just-deals with it and he’s also really tired of explaining the whole mess, so he just sort of conforms to avoid attention. Conforms bitterly, might I add.
The most frequent problem Laurence will have is forgetting that he’s a woman, like messing up all the little gender nuances in society and tripping over his skirts and being unconscious of the company he keeps around and talking like a man and totally not being demure and coy. Also staring when a suitor is trying hit on him and getting into more bar fights and totally winning them. Insert Tharkay facepalming here.
And by then Laurence sort of knows about Tharkay massive crush on him, and wonders if he reciprocates the same feelings only because he’s a woman now, or has always inadvertently done so as a man. In the porny version of this scenario, somewhere along the road Laurence experiments with himself sexually and goes “THIS IS SORT OF DIFFICULT” and fails a lot again then finally goes fuck this and starts earnestly flirting with Tharkay in a totally womanish way. Tharkay is like LOL WHAT, SERIOUSLY. /facepalm times forever. And then I pump this so full of genderbend cliches, it will be disgusting and maybe hot.
BUT OKAY ENOUGH ABOUT PORN. idk, I think in the beginning it would go something like this? Except less horribly written by a better person who is not trying to avoid three other essays.
What brought Tharkay to the Americas was a combination of dumb luck and business, having nowhere to go in particular after his stay in Istanbul. Maden had mentioned in passing of a contract over wine and Tharkay, having drunk more than he ought for reasons that ought not to be thought about in the first place, said, “Yes.”
What made him stay well past his allotted time in Brazil-which had nothing to do with either dumb luck or business-was another cause to blame on wine, though there was none present whatsoever at the time of the decision. The decision, actually, had been gradually made over such a long period that Tharkay suspected that he may have tricked himself into doing it.
Still stationed near Rio de Jeneiro, Granby had often invited him to dine and one evening came with a letter to read aloud.
“I am not in the least surprised,” he said afterward with a laugh, “I shudder to think what Temeraire has done with Australia this past year. England would soon run out of places to send Laurence. Perhaps he will arrive before you leave, Tharkay.”
And of course, Tharkay was perfectly willing to lay blame on Granby as well, and did so, albeit silently, for the next couple of weeks while he waited.
*
It was fortunate that Tharkay did not spend the majority of his time worrying about what excuse he would have to come up with since Laurence had some explaining to do himself-herself. Her? Him? Tharkay hadn’t quite made up his mind yet, so sure that the woman before him just had to be some close relation to Laurence; perhaps a sister-though Laurence had only mentioned brothers-or possibly a cousin.
“Tenzing,” she said with a smile that Tharkay knew to be Will Laurence’s through and through.
The noise that came out of Tharkay’s mouth next was a curious mixture of ‘what’, ‘huh’, and ‘uh’. The woman, presumably Laurence, pressed her lips together in a suspiciously amused manner, and when she clasped hands with a flabbergasted Granby, Tharkay swore he saw a flash of glee in Laurence’s eyes before she took on a blank expression.
“Yes. A lot of things happened in Australia,” she said as they gaped. “Forgive my haste, but I will explain later tonight-if you two would like to join me for supper.”
Needless to say, both Granby and Tharkay agreed, leaving Laurence to deal with the port admiral and settle Temeraire at the Brazilian covert. Granby later on that morning sent a note with the time and the direction of a respectable tavern, keeping in mind of Laurence’s new appearance and what she might say if either one of them offered to accompany her. Temeraire confirmed as much while they sat between his and Iskierka’s clearings.
“Yes, he was rather upset at first and I was very worried, but after the first month he seemed fine and perfectly normal. Really, aside from his voice, I do not see the difference. Laurence has not changed at all,” the dragon said then added thoughtfully, “Only I suppose he can now have eggs and must wear skirts when he is not wearing his uniform. Emily has fetched him some very nice ones though.”
Tharkay very nearly choked on air.
“Oh, you don’t see it?” Iskierka said with a lofty toss of her head, “The difference is quite clear to me; Laurence’s chest is bigger. Am I not right, Granby?”
“I find you very correct, dear,” Granby said, sounding wholly earnest. “But, Temeraire, how on earth did this happen?”
“Laurence did not tell you? Well, I suppose not. He tells me that he is quite sick of having to explain the situation over and over again,” Temeraire said, clearly not understanding why anyone would want to pass up on telling such a tale, but he happily obliged them on his account, which Tharkay and Granby carefully tried to differentiate between Temeraire’s enthusiasm and what others, mainly Laurence, might have said otherwise.
Luckily, Laurence returned earlier than anticipated and they found out that he was indeed quite happy to be cheated out of telling the fascinating story. He had enough talk as it was about wily sea-serpents and mysterious treasure chests of unknown origin, seeing as he had the dubious pleasure of experiencing their magical properties firsthand. Other than that, Tharkay found Temeraire’s cheerful account to be disturbingly accurate.
“Despite what some might say, the change is purely physical. As for any irregularities in my temperament, I lay credit to those that believe changes in that,” Laurence said with quiet note of irritation.
“You should hear what Jane thinks of this,” Granby said to Tharkay, “I can practically hear her laughter just by opening the envelope.”
“What, do you mean to say that you already knew of this?” Tharkay asked while Laurence threw Granby such a fierce look that it was a wonder why nothing was struck on fire.
“Well, I didn’t believe a word of it, you know,” Granby said, having grown used to fires, metaphoric or otherwise. “Or I had thought I had misread something.”
“There are not many ways to read ‘Laurence, by the way, has turned into a woman’,” Laurence said flatly.
“Well,” Granby said, drawing out the word awkwardly.
“You see, this is precisely what I mean,” Laurence suddenly shot out, “the subtext that a woman brings with her, regardless of character. Jane may laugh in the face of it all, but I do see where she draws her ire from.” He looked as if he was about to go on, but Sipho came running towards them with a note. Laurence read it with a frown and stood up. “Now if you will excuse me, I have to passively insinuate that I would certainly not wish to dine alone with Admiral Mayes, no matter what the hour or date.”
Tharkay and Granby stared, watching Laurence stiffly walk off.
“He will be thrown out of Brazil in a month,” Granby said thoughtfully.
“I wager less than that,” Tharkay replied.
*
Tharkay was the first to arrive at the tavern, a promising little building with a pleasant crowd and an equally pleasant smell wafting from the kitchens. He found a suitable table and did not have to wait long before Laurence walked into the room, looking every inch a woman save for the way he held the hem of his skirts in one hand and held the door open for Granby with the other.
Until now, Tharkay had entertained the notion of the whole thing being a very elaborate prank, but as Laurence navigated his way towards their table, Tharkay knew that the woman was most definitely him. There were details that were utterly impossible to imitate and were Laurence’s alone, right down to the steady gait and way of gesture and mode of speaking. Standing, Tharkay found it surprisingly easy to shake hands as if Laurence wasn’t at all inclined to be a little shorter, a little curvier, and have a higher pitch of voice.
Unfortunately, Laurence was also inclined to be a rather handsome lady as well, and their casual greeting drew a couple of stares from the surrounding tables-Tharkay supposed half the tavern wanted to throttle him to the ground for treating a woman so barbarically. He caught Laurence’s faintly exasperated eye and together they adjusted their grip with the tips of Laurence’s fingers resting lightly under Tharkay’s hand. For a brief moment, he thought to kiss them in jest, but Laurence appeared miffed enough and so he left their hands drop at a polite nod.
“Now I am at a loss at how to address you in public,” Tharkay smirked as Laurence sat down on his own, sending the glares of many toward Granby, who appeared downright rude for not drawing out the chair for his lady.
“You may call me just as you have always done,” Laurence said tartly.
A few choice words came to mind, some unflattering yet strangely endearing, but Tharkay took his seat and shook his head. “Fair enough, Will.”
Also Women’s suffrage comes, like, a billion years earlier, thanks to Temeraire-- unless Jane totally beats him to it, of course.
2. Granby, Laurence, Tharkay--Fuck, Marry, Kill. No substitutions.
Fuck: Laurence. NGL, I HAVE A CRUSH ON THIS MAN AND HIS FAULTS AND HIS CHIVALRY.
Marry: Granby because I think he’d totally be a fun husband. Also he is rich.
Kill: Tharkay, because I think Tharkay would judge me so hard if I put him in the other two categories.
3. What show, given the opportunity, would you crossover with Chuck, and why?
White Collar. My only reason is MATT BOMER. I mean, Bryce will be dead, but man it would be so tragic if Chuck saw Neal one day and just flip the fuck out. AND MAYBE I WANT TO INSERT LONG LOST-TWIN TROPE, DON’T JUDGE.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Glee. Only because I want a high school spy musical, or more AWKARD!TEEN SARAH WITH BRACES AND ACNE, but totally gets smokin’ hot during her sophomore year and falls in love with totally nerdy Chuck. And Ellie as senior class rep with her dreamy quarterback boyfriend, Devon, and Casey as the gym teacher. And now I have this Bryce backstory having went to elementary school with Chuck and being BFFs, but disappeared during junior high, only to reappear back in high school and exciting things happen.
4. What is the one thing you want to see happen in the next Temeraire book?
More Tharkay backstory or a Tharkay-related sub-plot in which Tharkay breaks down or something and Laurence helps him get through it. Kind of like what happened in VoE, but in reverse.
I also want Laurence to be genuinely happy because he has been pretty miserable for the last few books.
Okay, I know that is two things, BUT MAYBE THEY COULD COMBINE AND BECOME ONE THING. TOGETHER. Together.
5. How long have you been drawing?
Well, I’ve been drawing since forever but I really started to be conscious of improvement when I was thirteen in middle school when I won this mascot button contest with a poorly drawn Viking. (Yeah, idk.) Oh, and then there’s the fact that I wanted to impress a boy I had a crush on and he was really artsy and cute and Italian and nice and I stared a lot at him when he did push-ups in PE.