A rough night.
Last night was rough - River and her dam espoides of 'I wish I was normal, I want what everyone else eats.' She does get everything the I get but in moderate portion to fit a well balance diet....
Raymond is my most picky eater and he eats fast and then wants to go play...I have to stop him and make him eat more. He inhales for the playing is important than sitting down and having a family dinner.
Emily is too talkitive at the Table, and she wants to talk while I'm trying to eat....it was great when she would talk with her mouth full, then I tell her, don't talk with your mouth full. Then their will be a brief silent momentairly.....not that I don't like talking to her. Just it's about everything I can't afford to get her on toys and what someone else has and she wants. Or it's about some kid in school that is bugging her cause she doesn't have what they have. Talking to her just breaks my heart sometimes.....
Any ways, River Girl is ok....She woke up with an Head ache, check her blood and it was 220, so it was safe to give her some pain relief.
I'm glad Rivers comes over and their bestfriend, for the fact....it's just her and Raymond talking all the time. Then Raymond get out of the picture....it's me and Emily. Now River, extremely talkitive keep Emily Busy with her talkitive mode.
Don't get me wrong I love talking to my daughter, just....I need to get this DV stuff done. I'm typing it out then I'm typing what she is saying to me on the Declr......I need totall quiet while typing, with this stress I'm under trying to type, sometime I type out my own random thoughts....you know what I do on my journal.
Not having sex any more or can't find anyone that is the same as me or want the same as me....well dam.
I'm so emotional.......No, I'm not go running to Lancelot. He wants a lot or meet alot friends for it. I just want one person that I can trust not to spread him self around. Right now, I look...for some reason I run to the same Poly type people. I have nothing against Poly people (Lancelot is in the closet with the new Term) just not my scene. I'm more towards a career type, a busy soul...that just one person, but don't have time for a marriage or responsiblity towards a marriage. They need the comfort and someone to hold on to. I'm that type, right now....who knows I probably later want more.