Borrowed Angels: Chapter Four - Six
Author: T8kmybreathaway
Rating: NC17 overall
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Summary: Arizona and Callie have been together for just a little over three years now. Their oldest daughter is two and there’s another one on the way. They face a trail ahead that will change their lives forever, but they have to take care of their oldest daughter and be strong for her even as time progresses and their youngest daughter’s condition worsens.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
A/N: So I was listening to Borrowed Angels by Kristin Chenoweth and I got all teary eyed because it’s such a sad song. My muse decided to create a fic out of it so I hope you can read this, I know it’s going to be hard to both read and write. I swear there will be a happy ending and just you have to just give it time. I hope you like it.
I wake up still feeling tired. I sigh and hope that this does not persist too long. Addison is already awake when I go down stairs. A warm plate of eggs bread and potato sit at one end still steaming. I smile at the heavenly master piece sitting waiting for me to devour it. She turns around and is smiling. “You’re awake.”
I nod, “I am, though I feel like I haven’t slept at all.”
“If this persists during the pregnancy, I want you to call me.”
“I will,” I confirm and take a large bite of food.
“We’ll go see Naomi around noon; she took an hour lunch to talk to the both of us. We’ll of course go over everything just as a formality, but she mainly wants to talk to you. See how you are doing and Arizona as well.”
“Right,” I nod.
“Speaking of, I assume you talked to her?”
“Yes I did, she said she’ll do what she can to get here.”
“See, everything will be fine.” I nod, “Okay what’s wrong?”
“I feel bad that she’s coming down here.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m tearing her away from work when no one else is there to cover her shifts. I feel guilty because the Chief is counting on her.”
“He’ll understand, I mean look at it this way. His own wife threatened to divorce him if he didn’t spend more time at home. He will understand and if he doesn’t I will kick his ass.”
I smirk and take a sip of orange juice. “Do you ever get tired of cooking?”
“Nope, I love to. Last I checked you did too.”
“When I have time to, I don’t have set hours like you. Lucky bitch.”
Addison laughs, “Yes well you get surgeries and I don’t, that should make us even.”
“Fine,” I laugh. “We’re even, for now.”
Addison decides to do some cleaning before we meet up with Naomi and shoos me away when I try to help. So I retreat to the patio with a book and glass of wine. I know it’s early but if all goes well tomorrow I won’t be able to drink for nine months. Which I am sad to say I will miss very much, not that I am an alcoholic, I’m not, I just like to drink occasionally.
I’m halfway through my book when I feel raindrops and look up seeing dark looming clouds above me. I rush into the house just before the sky opens up. Addison catches me as I trip over the rug. “Watch yourself there clumsy.”
“Thanks,” I mummer sheepishly.
“No problem, it’s quarter to eleven, we’ll probably leave in a half hour. I need to check on some things and do a consult for Violet quickly.”
“Sure.”
“Okay, well I’m going to take a shower and get ready.”
“I’m going to finish this chapter and get ready when I’m done,” I smile. “Take your time.”
“I think I just might,” she smirks.
I shake my head and get back to reading. Unfortunately it’s turning me on more and more by the second which is beginning to be a problem. Side that with the fact that it’s an erotic novel that Rizzo bought me for my birthday? It spells disaster waiting to happen if I were to ever read this in public. This is why I chose to bring it with me now. The only problem is the last few parts have made me hornier than hell.
What with the lovely voluptuous Greek beauty Esmera and the spunky American tourist Renee reminding me so much of Arizona and myself it’s very hard not to get turned on during their romps in the bedroom. Reading the next couple of lines, “Esmera kissed Renee hungrily and pushed her against the marble counter in her kitchen. She wrapped her arms around her waist and hoisted her on top of the cold surface before kissing a path along her jaw. Her hands slid up Renee’s skirt along her thighs slowly, teasingly,” and that’s where I give up. I can’t read anymore of this right now.
I scramble towards my room and shut the door. My breathing is erratic even trying to calm myself is not working. My mouth is dry, I lick my lips, and take a deep breath. Arizona is not here to take care of what I so desperately need to right now. It is entirely frustrating; I throw the book on the night stand and myself onto the bed.
I shift onto my back and close my eyes. “Just relax,” I say to myself. But then images of Esmera and Renee enter my head except it’s me and Arizona now. I can’t get the pictures erased from my mind and I really don’t want to. My lips part on their own and a guttural moan escapes from my mouth. I can’t take it anymore. My hands slide along my body, it’s been far too long since Arizona and I were intimate and I simply cannot go any longer.
I slip my shirt off and drop it on the floor. I run my hands over my breasts, pinching, pulling, and rubbing my nipples until they’re hard and I can feel them under my palms. I glide my finger nails over my stomach like Arizona would do. I close my eyes and let the images flow through my head. I can see Arizona above me, touching me everywhere possible.
I feel my skin flush with heat and slide my hand under the waist band of my pants. I tease myself because I know it’s what she would do. I graze my finger tips over my center just barely touching my clit. I can already feel how wet I am. I moan softly and continue to graze my fingertips over the inside of my thighs and move back to my breasts.
I feel her against me as if she’s here and it’s driving me crazy. I need her. I slip my hand past the waist band of my panties and slide my fingers through wet folds. God if only she were here. Before I can do anything my phone rings. I sigh. People have the damndest timing.
I reach for my phone with my clean hand and instead of being annoyed I smile. I flip it open and smirk. “Hi baby, I was just thinking about you.”
“Hey you. I just got some free time and thought I’d give you a call. I can’t leave until later tonight, but everything is set. How are you?”
“Fine,” I sigh.
“Calliope…”
“You interrupted me,” I confess. “It’s that damn book.” I can hear her laughing. “It’s not funny.”
“Sure it is.”
“Arizona it is not funny,” I chastise her. “I’m all horny now.”
“So get on with it then.”
“You just called I don’t want to hang up.”
“So don’t,” she says in that tone. The tone I know so well. I can only imagine how dark her eyes are.
“Are you in an on call room?”
“Yes,” she says, her voice low, and laced with want. “Tell me.”
I shiver at the sound of her sultry voice. “I am incredibly frustrated.”
“So take care of it, Calliope.”
“I want to, so badly, but I want you.”
“I’m right here, I’ll do it with you.” I don’t know why her voice affects me the way it does, even now, I know she’s hundreds of miles away and yet it’s like she’s here. “Touch yourself,” she commands softly.
I moan, “Arizona, I…”
“Calliope, it’s just phone sex. You’re horny, I’m horny. We’re simply taking care of ourselves. There’s nothing to be ashamed of here. You’d be getting off right now even if I hadn’t called.”
“Yeah,” I reply. “I would be half down by now too.”
“So then finish, touch yourself.” I comply with her subtle command and flick my index finger over my clit. “I want you to tell me as you’re doing it,” she says and I moan louder. I really hope Addison is still in the shower.
“My hand is down my pants. I’m fingering myself.”
“Start from the beginning, I want to do it all with you. Imagine me there, barely touching you. Grazing my hands over your stomach and breasts. Kissing you hard. Start from there.”I groan in frustration. “Please Callie,” she says.
“Okay,” I lick my lips and slide my hands back to my breasts. “I’m running my hands over my stomach up to my breasts.” I hear her moan on the other side of the phone. It turns me on even more. I pinch my nipples, roll the left one between my forefinger and thumb, and palm my right breast. “I’m pinching my nipples, rolling the left one between my index finger and thumb, and palming the other one.” I moan when she does and I can feel wetness pooling in between my thighs.
“Keep going,” she urges me.
I squeeze my breasts and then move one hand down my torso. I slowly trail my nails across my stomach and slide my hand back under my waist band. “I am squeezing my breasts and moving one hand down my torso. Teasing my muscles with my nails and fingertips. I just slipped my hand into the waist bad of my pants.”
“Oh god,” she moans and I hear the snap of her scrubs.
I slip my hand into my panties and teasingly slide my fingers around my clit but don’t touch it. “Slip your hand into your panties and circle your clit, but don’t touch it.”
“Calliope…”
“Do it,” I say softly. I flick my index finger over my clit and moan. “Then flick your clit, repeatedly until I tell you to stop.” I do the same, flicking it until I’m about to come. “Stop,” I breathe out. “Stop, insert two fingers into yourself and pump in and out.” I hear her panting and moaning. God how I wish I was there inside her.
I moan loudly and pinch my nipples. “I want you to pinch your nipples.” I hear her breathing heavily and I lick my lips. “Put pressure on your clit. Insert another finger,” I can barely tell her anything else after I’ve started moving my thumb around my clit, pinching my nipples, and pumping my fingers in and out. I can hear her breathing become more labored and I put the phone down.
I concentrate on myself, pinching, pulling, rubbing my nipples and pumping my fingers in and out. I press my palm against my clit and put as much pressure as possible on it. I can feel the inevitable wave starting in my toes and working its way up my body. I pull a pillow over my face so I don’t scream and let go. I come and flick my clit until I come again.
I lay there a few minutes and pick the phone up. I hear Arizona and hope she’s not loud enough the entire hospital can hear. “Thank you,” she finally says.
“For what?”
“For letting go,” she replies.
“No, thank you, I needed that, but now I need a shower. Addison and I are meeting Naomi for lunch.”
“Okay baby, I’ll call you later.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I hang the phone up and set it on the night stand. I am not kidding I really need a shower now. I’m all hot, sweaty, and sticky, not that I mind, I just don’t want to smell or look like sex later. I turn the water on slightly cooler than normal and get in. The water feels incredible against my hot skin. I wash enjoying the fragrance of the shower gel and then wash my hair. I get out of the shower and dry of quickly before I get ready for our lunch.
Addison knocks on my door just as I finish getting dressed. The door opens and she steps in. “All set?” She’s smirking which means she knows. I groan and nod. She laughs, “Oh come on it’s natural.”
“Shut up.”
“Was it at least good?”
“It was amazing,” she laughs at me.
“Sure sounded like it,” she jokes.
“Shut up,” I tell her and get in the car. We laugh together and get in her car. “This is not funny,” I say calmly.
“It’s hilarious,” I glare at her. “Oh come on, I’m just teasing. At least you’re getting some.”
I nod, “That’s true I guess,” I say and we finally laugh together. “So where are we going for lunch?”
“I’m not sure yet. I need to stop at the office and get some paperwork first, after that we’ll take it from there.” The drive is pretty silent and short. Once we get to the practice I can see how crazy things already are for them this morning. I can only imagine how much they need Addison’s help.
“Are you sure you can take the rest of the day?”
She nods, “Yes I’m sure, this has been scheduled for months. Don’t worry they can live without me for a few more days. Why don’t you go ahead and meet with Naomi, I’ll be right there.”
I nod. “Okay,” and get on the elevator. I cross my arms and lean against the cool steel of the back of the elevator and rest my head against it. I miss Arizona. I wish she was here, I know to some people my fears could be unfounded, but I know that my fears will never be unfounded in her eyes. I know she would hold my hand through it. I know I should be able to make it through a couple of days without her and I should be able to do this procedure without her, but I’m scared and the only person who can calm me down when I’m scared is her.
The elevator dings and opens on the fourth floor. I’m half surprised to see that Dr. Fife is the first to greet me, standing up in his chair. “Dr. Torres, nice to see you again,” he smiles warmly.
“Gabe, how many times do I have to tell you, it’s Callie,” I smile and give him a one armed hug.
“Naomi is in her office. I assume that’s who you came to talk to,” I nod. “Great, so how are things with the wife and kid?”
“Unbelievable,” I laugh.
“They keep you on your toes huh?”
“That’s for sure,” I smile, “It’s a great life.”
“Can you keep a secret?”
I nod, “Sure.”
“You’re positive?”
“Yes,” I laugh.”Of course I can.”
“I’m in love with Naomi.”
We stop walking, “Have you told her?” He nods, “And?”we start walking again.
“I think she still loves Sam.”
“Oh Gabe, I’m sorry.”
He shrugs, “It’s okay, I had a feeling. Well here we are.”
“If you need anything feel free to call.”
“Same goes to you, although don’t let it get out that I’m a softy,” he smiles.
“Never,” I smile back and knock on Naomi’s door.
She looks up, “Hey! You’re here! How was your flight?”
“It was a flight, now the car, that on the other hand…”
“Oh, the wife was behind that one wasn’t she?”
“Her and papa. They like to scheme,” I laugh and give Naomi a big hug. We sit and both sigh then laugh again. “So how is Mya?”
Naomi smiles, “She’s good.”
“And you and Mya?”
“Better,” Naomi’s face however says otherwise. “Still a little fragile, I said some things about Dink she didn’t like.”
“Uh oh, “ Addison walks in. “I thought you and Sam were past that.”
“She’s our daughter, we want what is best for her.”
“And you don’t think that it’s Dink?” I ask.
“No, we don’t but we don’t get a vote on that, she’s 17 now and a senior in high school. Never mind that, I’m almost done here, and then we can go to lunch.”
“Great, I’m starving,” Naomi only takes a few more minutes and we’re on our way. “So where to?”
“I was thinking Café Rosa, it’s right on the beach and it’s gorgeous out.”
“Sounds great, and it’s a short walk,” Addison adds.
“So any ideas on what kind of sperm you’re looking for?”
Naomi’s question makes me laugh. “Well we have a blue eyed blondie, we were hoping for a little mini me next.”
“Perfect, any requirements?”
“Well, not really. I mean I’ll be happy to have a health bouncing bundle of joy no matter what.”
“So no racial requirements.”
“Well no, but I am hoping for kids that look like us.”
“You know there is an option if you want a child who is both biologically yours and hers. Do you want to look into that?”
“Would it take long?”
“Well we would need Arizona to be here, let’s talk about the details over lunch.”
We walk up to the café and order healthy looking food and sit at a small table on the patio. I look down at my California cobb salad, it actually looks delicious and I don’t like salad. “So, about this new procedure, tell me about it.”
“Well what we have to do first is test Arizona and make sure she can donate an egg. We’ll put you through several tests to make sure you’ll be able to carry the egg. After that we’ll fertilize the egg and implant it. Then both you and Arizona would have biological ties to the baby. Of course it will be like last time, we’ll have to do several to make sure one sticks. There will be a possibility of multiple pregnancies.”
“Right, well how long would it take?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure, but it is a lot longer than normal IVF. Arizona should definitely be here if you want to consider it.”
“I know, I want her to be here anyway, it’s just really crazy lately at the hospital. I talked to her this morning she’s going to try and get here for tomorrow.”
“Oh that’s great.”
I nod, “Yeah it is,” I smile.
“So, brown eyes is not exactly a guarantee if that is the route you want to go. To get a mini version of yourself you’ll have to do a normal IVF.”
“I think that for this pregnancy we’ll do it that way.”
“You know if you both wanted to try again we can give her iron pills.”
“If that’s the case she definitely has the next one.”
When Addison and I finally get back from shopping I pass out on the couch pretty quickly. When I wake up I hear whispering from the kitchen and groan. “Addie shut up,” I hear a small giggle and feel little hands on my tummy. I open my eyes to see Lucy bear smiling at me.
“Hi mommy!”
“Oh hunnie,” I pull her up on my lap. “I missed you so much.”
“I miss you too mommy, I askeded mama if I could come and she couldn’t say no.”
“That’s because you’re just so cute.”
“I’m cute?”
“Yes baby, you are cute,” I laugh and tickle our little bundle of joy.
“And what about me? Am I cute?”
I look up and find my wife who looks so worn down that it breaks my heart. “No, you’re amazing.”
“Uh oh, are mommy and mama gunna kissy?” Lucy mocks us.
I tickle her some more and lift her over my head. “Yes but, first you need to go to bed, it’s way past your bed time.”
“I set up the other room that’s connected to yours for her. This way you two will have some privacy.”
“Thanks Addie, come on munchkin, let’s go to bed.”
“Will you sing to me?”
“Of course, and mama will come too.”
“Yeah I’ll be right in,” Arizona smiles and pulls Addison aside.
I’m sure they’re talking about me, about the pregnancy, about the chances of things working out like last time. I couldn’t take that and she knows it. “What’s mama doin’ with auntie?”
“They’re just talking sweetie, what song would you like to hear today?”
“Dreamland.”
“Okay,” I lay her in the extra bed that Addison got for her and pull the covers all the way up. “The sandman has come, to bid his goodnight. He'll sprinkle sleep dust, and your eyes will grow tired,” I sing as she cuddles deeper into the blankets. “You'll go on a journey, to a magical land, you’ll return nightly
to a place called DREAMLAND. In Dreamland, oh how we can fly, for the angels will give us their wings to try. In Dreamland, on rainbows we'll climb. And then for more fun, down moonbeams we'll slide,’ Arizona approaches the doorway and silently listens as I finish. “The sun will rise, as the stars fade away.
Your eyes will soon open, to greet the day. As soon as night falls and the moon starts to dance, well this is your cue, that it's time for Dreamland.”
When I finish she is fast asleep and Arizona is just looking at me, “What?”
“You’re so great with her.”
“After three years that still surprises you?”
She shakes her head, “No I’m not surprised, but I am astounded at how well you can soothe her to sleep.”
“It’s a gift, my mother used to do it for me and Aria.”
“I wonder sometimes why you didn’t pursue a music career. I love your voice.”I feel the blush creep up my neck, “I love that too,” she says.
“You look exhausted.”
“I am, I’ve been up since last night with papa trying to get the flight information right and get here on time.”
“Aww hunnie, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, I’m glad we’re here. I’m sorry it’s late.”
“It’s okay,” I walk her towards the bedroom and shut the door. “Lie down, go on.” I move her towards the bed. I ride myself of my clothing and move towards her. I take her socks off first and then unbutton her jeans. I pull them down along with her panties and let them drop to the floor. I pull her up towards me and remove her shirt and bra next. I kiss her shoulder and her neck before pulling the sheets up over us. I hold her tightly and whisper in her ear, “I can sing for you if it will help you sleep.” She nods, “Any requests baby?”
“Love me tender,” I nod and kiss her shoulder.
“Love me tender, love me sweet, never let me go. You have made my life complete, and I love you so. Love me tender; love me true, all my dreams fulfilled. For my darlin' I love you, and I always will,” I sing softly in her ear. “Love me tender, love me long, take me to your heart. For it's there that I belong, and we'll never part. Love me tender, love me true, all my dreams fulfilled, for my darling I love you and I always will. Love me tender, love me dear, tell me you are mine. I'll be yours through all the years, till the end of time. Love me tender, love me true, all my dreams fulfilled, for my darling I love you ----and I always will.”
By the sound of her breathing I can tell she’s asleep. I kiss her shoulder one last time before letting my eyes close and drift off to sleep myself.
I wake up slowly as the sun drifts into our bedroom. Arizona is still cradled against me wrapped protectively in my arms and as the sunlight touches her face and hair briefly, I realize how wonderfully lucky I am to have a woman who cares so much about me. I gather stray pieces of her hair between my fingers and move it from her face. I place a light kiss on her cheek and just lay there content to watch her sleep.
My musings are short lived though, as our daughter bounds into the bedroom and pounces on the bed with a giggle. “Mornnin’ mommy.”
“Hi sweetie,” she crawls up to me and places her hand on my bare shoulder.
“I’m hungie, mommy, auntie Addie promised she would make us beakfast.”
“Breakfast, and yes she did promise. I tell you what, why don’t you go potty and pick out something from your suit case to wear today. Then you and I will go see what auntie Addie is making.”
“Okay mommy,” she springs off the bed in a hurry and it amazes me that she has so much energy in the mornings, she takes after Arizona that way. Speaking of the love of my life, she’s still sound asleep, which also amazes me. The force with which Lucy jumped on the bed, I’m surprised she didn’t wake right up.
I take my time kissing her awake because I know it takes Lucy forever to pick out her clothes. Her eyelids flutter open and I am greeted with bright blue orbs. I smile and place a soft kiss on her lips before I let her fully wake up.
“Hi,” she whispers.
“Hey,” I smile back.
“Lucy awake?”
“Mhm, picking out clothes, thought that would give us time to get dressed.”
She nods, “Good idea.”
“Addison is cooking breakfast.”
“An even better idea,” I laugh. “Well come on then, let’s get moving.”
“Wait, just a second,” she smiles and pulls me down towards her. Our kisses are slow and languid as our tongues move alongside each other. It feels so good to be near her, to just be in the same bed. I know it’s silly that I can’t go a day without being close to her, but she’s like my oxygen. I need her to breathe and she fuels my fire. Our kissing ends just as slowly as it began and we reluctantly get dressed for the day. It feels like a jeans and t-shirt day for the simple fact that in the time since I woke up it has gotten very dark outside, which leads me to believe that a storm is blowing in.
She also feels like jeans and a t-shirt as I watch her pull on my old college tee. I smile softly, I was a little bit thinner then and it fits her pretty loosely but not so much so that it hangs off of her. I actually love seeing her wear it. She pulls on the loops of my jeans and kisses me on the nose. She says it’s one of her favorite places to kiss, although I don’t particularly see the appeal. She settles against me and takes a deep breath.
“I missed your scent.”
“I have a scent?”
She nods, “Like strawberries and rain,” she looks up at me. “It’s my favorite smell you know. Well, next to doughnuts of course.”
“Of course,” I laugh and kiss her forehead then drag her from the bedroom even though I would rather spend all day inside of that room instead. Lucy is still standing in front of her suitcase. One hand is on her hip the other under her chin in a contemplative manner. It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and I whip my cell out to take a picture. She spins around and stomps once. “I dunno what to wear, what do you think mommy?”
I scoop her up into my arms and sigh, “Well it’s raining so definitely pants.”
“Okay.”
“How about these jeans,” I pick up her tiny blue jeans, a purple shirt, and a white sweatshirt. “With these?”
“Okay, can I dress myself?”
“Sure,” I place her back on her own two feet and watch as she easily slips off her clothes, but struggles to button the jeans (I never understood why they put buttons on little people jeans, they should just make them slip on and off) and the shirt, let’s just say her head ended up in a sleeve. I snap another picture and help her right herself. “There we go, good as new.”
She yanks on my hand and pulls Arizona and myself into the hallway towards the kitchen, “Come on, auntie Addie is making eggs, and piggy strips, and toast.”
“I just want coffee,” Arizona yawns.
“But mama, beakfast is the mostest im-por-tant meal of the day.”
“Most important hunnie,” I correct her, “And your mama knows that, she’s just really tired still and needs her daily fix of coffee to make it through the morning.”
“What’s a fix?”
“Calliope,” Arizona warns. “I swear…”
“Don’t swear mama, it’s bad.”
I meet her eyes and just smile, “A fix is something you need to get through the day.”
“Like candy?” my smart little jelly bean asks.
“Yeah, like candy,” the best analogy I could come up with was my need to have a fix of Arizona and our daughter every day.
“Can I have a candy fix?”
“No,” Arizona smiles sweetly. “But I’m gunna fix mommy if she doesn’t shush.”
“Uh oh, you’re in tubble mommy.”
“Trouble, Lucy, and we’ll see about that,” I wink.
“Are you teaching my niece bad habits?” Addison smiles as we enter the kitchen.
“Of course not, she asked me a question, I just answered it.”
“Uh huh, well let’s eat shall we?”
“Yes, piggy strips!” Lucy bounces excitedly in her chair. “Mommy, mommy, piggy strips!”
I smile at my daughter; I swear she is the cutest little thing on the planet. I steal a quick peek at Arizona and find she still looks just as tired as she did last night. I wonder if the tiny coffins have been haunting her again. She doesn’t tell me much anymore, but I can tell because she always looks like the walking dead the next morning. The only thing is, I never felt her move last night, not once. Normally she does.
She looks up at my questioning eyes. She knows what I’m thinking about. She shakes her head and we sit down at the table. Addison brings us both coffee and our plates, “Addie you’re a godsend,” my girlfriend whispers and takes a long sip.
“Well thank you, it’s nice to know someone appreciates it.”
“Hey I say thank you and help clean up.”
“Yeah, yeah, eat your breakfast,” Addison sits at the table and pours herself a cup of coffee. “So, have you thought about what we talked about yesterday?”
“A little…”
Arizona looks up, “What was yesterday?”
“We had lunch with Naomi,” I say smiling. “It’s nothing bad, don’t worry hunny.”
“Okay, so what did you talk about?”
“Babies.”
“Yes Calliope I should hope so, what about babies?”
“Oh just another form of in vitro fertilization.”
“Another form? They have more than the one we try? They have more than one?”
I nod; sometimes I don’t know how to broach certain topics with her. This is something I really want to give a shot at some point though. I think it would be great. “Well Naomi told me about it yesterday. It’s something we can both do. It’s called reciprocal in vitro fertilization.”
“I did some more research on it this morning while you were sleeping. It’s usually used for couples who have one infertile partner and the other fertile. So they take the egg from the fertile partner and sperm it up and then put it in the infertile partner. This way the couple can have their own child and the child is directly tied to both partners,” Addison adds.
Arizona looks completely confused, “Hunny, are you okay?”
“Uh yeah, I get it, I just, what’s wrong with the other way?”
“There is nothing wrong with the other way if that is the way you want to go. All I am saying is we have other options. Addison said you could take iron pills too if you wanted to carry the next one, if we have another one.”
“Well that has to be extensive testing. Not to mention probably twice as expensive for twice the amount of tests.”
“You’re right, it is more expensive. It is a lot of testing. You would go through every ounce of testing that Callie does, maybe even more.”
“The whole reason we did it this way other than my iron deficiency is that I don’t want a kid walking out of my vajayjay. I don’t have the hips for that and yours are perfect.”
“My hips are perfect, yes, but I am not. I already had a miscarriage the last time around. I don’t know if I would be able to carry again with my history of medical problems when I am pregnant.”
Arizona sit still considering what I just said. “Okay say I do this? What are we looking at here?”
“A review of medical records, a physical exam, blood testing, screening for familial, genetic and infectious diseases, and psychological evaluation. All of which could be done at the Practice. There will also be controlled ovarian stimulation in which hormones will be used to create more eggs. The only technical difference between standard in vitro fertilization and reciprocal IVF is the involvement of two women. The medical procedures are nearly identical.”
“That’s pretty much all Callie’s deal though if she would be the one volunteering the egg; obviously that is why we are talking about it. For you it’s a little different. When the use of fresh embryos is planned, the cycles of both partners must be synchronized. The menstrual cycle of the partner who is carrying the pregnancy is synchronized with the cycle of the partner providing eggs, using a combination of birth control pills and Lupron. Preparation of the endometrium for embryo implantation is then accomplished with estrogen and progesterone, hormones which are normally produced by the ovaries, in dosages intended to mimic what happens during a natural ovulation cycle.”
“What happens if that doesn’t work? We aren’t on the same schedule now so, that could be a possibility right?”
“It could be, if that’s the case we would freeze the embryos and transfer them in a subsequent cycle.”
Arizona sits there taking in all of the information and take a deep breath followed by a sip of coffee. “Wow, so it’s actually possible to carry each other’s child?”
“It is now.”
“Wow. I… wow.”
“You said that already sweetie. If you don’t want to do it, I obviously won’t make you or push the situation further. I just thought it was something to consider.”
Arizona looks up at me. “Do you want to do it?”
“Of course I do, but this isn’t just me here. They’re going to poke and prod you too.”
“I get that,” she looks over at Lucy. “I would like to have a child that shares both our DNA.”
“You would?”
“Yes, of course, don’t be absurd. I’m just not sure how it would work out. I’m almost forty.”
“You’re in great health though.”
“I smoke.”
“When you’re in trouble, which is not very often.”
“I like to drink.”
“Big deal, so do I, I stay 100% sober while I’m pregnant, you can too. Look we don’t have to do this now, we don’t need to make this decision now. I’m going through with this pregnancy. We’re going to have this baby first and then we won’t talk babies for at least another year after that so, it’s okay. You don’t need to decide now, you have time. We have time to talk about it and do whatever research you want to do. Okay?”
Arizona nods. “Okay, I can do that.”
“That’s all I’m asking,” I respond with a smile and kiss her cheek.
Rating: NC17 overall
Pairing: Callie/Arizona
Summary: Arizona and Callie have been together for just a little over three years now. Their oldest daughter is two and there’s another one on the way. They face a trail ahead that will change their lives forever, but they have to take care of their oldest daughter and be strong for her even as time progresses and their youngest daughter’s condition worsens.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
A/N: So I was listening to Borrowed Angels by Kristin Chenoweth and I got all teary eyed because it’s such a sad song. My muse decided to create a fic out of it so I hope you can read this, I know it’s going to be hard to both read and write. I swear there will be a happy ending and just you have to just give it time. I hope you like it.
I wake up still feeling tired. I sigh and hope that this does not persist too long. Addison is already awake when I go down stairs. A warm plate of eggs bread and potato sit at one end still steaming. I smile at the heavenly master piece sitting waiting for me to devour it. She turns around and is smiling. “You’re awake.”
I nod, “I am, though I feel like I haven’t slept at all.”
“If this persists during the pregnancy, I want you to call me.”
“I will,” I confirm and take a large bite of food.
“We’ll go see Naomi around noon; she took an hour lunch to talk to the both of us. We’ll of course go over everything just as a formality, but she mainly wants to talk to you. See how you are doing and Arizona as well.”
“Right,” I nod.
“Speaking of, I assume you talked to her?”
“Yes I did, she said she’ll do what she can to get here.”
“See, everything will be fine.” I nod, “Okay what’s wrong?”
“I feel bad that she’s coming down here.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m tearing her away from work when no one else is there to cover her shifts. I feel guilty because the Chief is counting on her.”
“He’ll understand, I mean look at it this way. His own wife threatened to divorce him if he didn’t spend more time at home. He will understand and if he doesn’t I will kick his ass.”
I smirk and take a sip of orange juice. “Do you ever get tired of cooking?”
“Nope, I love to. Last I checked you did too.”
“When I have time to, I don’t have set hours like you. Lucky bitch.”
Addison laughs, “Yes well you get surgeries and I don’t, that should make us even.”
“Fine,” I laugh. “We’re even, for now.”
Addison decides to do some cleaning before we meet up with Naomi and shoos me away when I try to help. So I retreat to the patio with a book and glass of wine. I know it’s early but if all goes well tomorrow I won’t be able to drink for nine months. Which I am sad to say I will miss very much, not that I am an alcoholic, I’m not, I just like to drink occasionally.
I’m halfway through my book when I feel raindrops and look up seeing dark looming clouds above me. I rush into the house just before the sky opens up. Addison catches me as I trip over the rug. “Watch yourself there clumsy.”
“Thanks,” I mummer sheepishly.
“No problem, it’s quarter to eleven, we’ll probably leave in a half hour. I need to check on some things and do a consult for Violet quickly.”
“Sure.”
“Okay, well I’m going to take a shower and get ready.”
“I’m going to finish this chapter and get ready when I’m done,” I smile. “Take your time.”
“I think I just might,” she smirks.
I shake my head and get back to reading. Unfortunately it’s turning me on more and more by the second which is beginning to be a problem. Side that with the fact that it’s an erotic novel that Rizzo bought me for my birthday? It spells disaster waiting to happen if I were to ever read this in public. This is why I chose to bring it with me now. The only problem is the last few parts have made me hornier than hell.
What with the lovely voluptuous Greek beauty Esmera and the spunky American tourist Renee reminding me so much of Arizona and myself it’s very hard not to get turned on during their romps in the bedroom. Reading the next couple of lines, “Esmera kissed Renee hungrily and pushed her against the marble counter in her kitchen. She wrapped her arms around her waist and hoisted her on top of the cold surface before kissing a path along her jaw. Her hands slid up Renee’s skirt along her thighs slowly, teasingly,” and that’s where I give up. I can’t read anymore of this right now.
I scramble towards my room and shut the door. My breathing is erratic even trying to calm myself is not working. My mouth is dry, I lick my lips, and take a deep breath. Arizona is not here to take care of what I so desperately need to right now. It is entirely frustrating; I throw the book on the night stand and myself onto the bed.
I shift onto my back and close my eyes. “Just relax,” I say to myself. But then images of Esmera and Renee enter my head except it’s me and Arizona now. I can’t get the pictures erased from my mind and I really don’t want to. My lips part on their own and a guttural moan escapes from my mouth. I can’t take it anymore. My hands slide along my body, it’s been far too long since Arizona and I were intimate and I simply cannot go any longer.
I slip my shirt off and drop it on the floor. I run my hands over my breasts, pinching, pulling, and rubbing my nipples until they’re hard and I can feel them under my palms. I glide my finger nails over my stomach like Arizona would do. I close my eyes and let the images flow through my head. I can see Arizona above me, touching me everywhere possible.
I feel my skin flush with heat and slide my hand under the waist band of my pants. I tease myself because I know it’s what she would do. I graze my finger tips over my center just barely touching my clit. I can already feel how wet I am. I moan softly and continue to graze my fingertips over the inside of my thighs and move back to my breasts.
I feel her against me as if she’s here and it’s driving me crazy. I need her. I slip my hand past the waist band of my panties and slide my fingers through wet folds. God if only she were here. Before I can do anything my phone rings. I sigh. People have the damndest timing.
I reach for my phone with my clean hand and instead of being annoyed I smile. I flip it open and smirk. “Hi baby, I was just thinking about you.”
“Hey you. I just got some free time and thought I’d give you a call. I can’t leave until later tonight, but everything is set. How are you?”
“Fine,” I sigh.
“Calliope…”
“You interrupted me,” I confess. “It’s that damn book.” I can hear her laughing. “It’s not funny.”
“Sure it is.”
“Arizona it is not funny,” I chastise her. “I’m all horny now.”
“So get on with it then.”
“You just called I don’t want to hang up.”
“So don’t,” she says in that tone. The tone I know so well. I can only imagine how dark her eyes are.
“Are you in an on call room?”
“Yes,” she says, her voice low, and laced with want. “Tell me.”
I shiver at the sound of her sultry voice. “I am incredibly frustrated.”
“So take care of it, Calliope.”
“I want to, so badly, but I want you.”
“I’m right here, I’ll do it with you.” I don’t know why her voice affects me the way it does, even now, I know she’s hundreds of miles away and yet it’s like she’s here. “Touch yourself,” she commands softly.
I moan, “Arizona, I…”
“Calliope, it’s just phone sex. You’re horny, I’m horny. We’re simply taking care of ourselves. There’s nothing to be ashamed of here. You’d be getting off right now even if I hadn’t called.”
“Yeah,” I reply. “I would be half down by now too.”
“So then finish, touch yourself.” I comply with her subtle command and flick my index finger over my clit. “I want you to tell me as you’re doing it,” she says and I moan louder. I really hope Addison is still in the shower.
“My hand is down my pants. I’m fingering myself.”
“Start from the beginning, I want to do it all with you. Imagine me there, barely touching you. Grazing my hands over your stomach and breasts. Kissing you hard. Start from there.”I groan in frustration. “Please Callie,” she says.
“Okay,” I lick my lips and slide my hands back to my breasts. “I’m running my hands over my stomach up to my breasts.” I hear her moan on the other side of the phone. It turns me on even more. I pinch my nipples, roll the left one between my forefinger and thumb, and palm my right breast. “I’m pinching my nipples, rolling the left one between my index finger and thumb, and palming the other one.” I moan when she does and I can feel wetness pooling in between my thighs.
“Keep going,” she urges me.
I squeeze my breasts and then move one hand down my torso. I slowly trail my nails across my stomach and slide my hand back under my waist band. “I am squeezing my breasts and moving one hand down my torso. Teasing my muscles with my nails and fingertips. I just slipped my hand into the waist bad of my pants.”
“Oh god,” she moans and I hear the snap of her scrubs.
I slip my hand into my panties and teasingly slide my fingers around my clit but don’t touch it. “Slip your hand into your panties and circle your clit, but don’t touch it.”
“Calliope…”
“Do it,” I say softly. I flick my index finger over my clit and moan. “Then flick your clit, repeatedly until I tell you to stop.” I do the same, flicking it until I’m about to come. “Stop,” I breathe out. “Stop, insert two fingers into yourself and pump in and out.” I hear her panting and moaning. God how I wish I was there inside her.
I moan loudly and pinch my nipples. “I want you to pinch your nipples.” I hear her breathing heavily and I lick my lips. “Put pressure on your clit. Insert another finger,” I can barely tell her anything else after I’ve started moving my thumb around my clit, pinching my nipples, and pumping my fingers in and out. I can hear her breathing become more labored and I put the phone down.
I concentrate on myself, pinching, pulling, rubbing my nipples and pumping my fingers in and out. I press my palm against my clit and put as much pressure as possible on it. I can feel the inevitable wave starting in my toes and working its way up my body. I pull a pillow over my face so I don’t scream and let go. I come and flick my clit until I come again.
I lay there a few minutes and pick the phone up. I hear Arizona and hope she’s not loud enough the entire hospital can hear. “Thank you,” she finally says.
“For what?”
“For letting go,” she replies.
“No, thank you, I needed that, but now I need a shower. Addison and I are meeting Naomi for lunch.”
“Okay baby, I’ll call you later.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I hang the phone up and set it on the night stand. I am not kidding I really need a shower now. I’m all hot, sweaty, and sticky, not that I mind, I just don’t want to smell or look like sex later. I turn the water on slightly cooler than normal and get in. The water feels incredible against my hot skin. I wash enjoying the fragrance of the shower gel and then wash my hair. I get out of the shower and dry of quickly before I get ready for our lunch.
Addison knocks on my door just as I finish getting dressed. The door opens and she steps in. “All set?” She’s smirking which means she knows. I groan and nod. She laughs, “Oh come on it’s natural.”
“Shut up.”
“Was it at least good?”
“It was amazing,” she laughs at me.
“Sure sounded like it,” she jokes.
“Shut up,” I tell her and get in the car. We laugh together and get in her car. “This is not funny,” I say calmly.
“It’s hilarious,” I glare at her. “Oh come on, I’m just teasing. At least you’re getting some.”
I nod, “That’s true I guess,” I say and we finally laugh together. “So where are we going for lunch?”
“I’m not sure yet. I need to stop at the office and get some paperwork first, after that we’ll take it from there.” The drive is pretty silent and short. Once we get to the practice I can see how crazy things already are for them this morning. I can only imagine how much they need Addison’s help.
“Are you sure you can take the rest of the day?”
She nods, “Yes I’m sure, this has been scheduled for months. Don’t worry they can live without me for a few more days. Why don’t you go ahead and meet with Naomi, I’ll be right there.”
I nod. “Okay,” and get on the elevator. I cross my arms and lean against the cool steel of the back of the elevator and rest my head against it. I miss Arizona. I wish she was here, I know to some people my fears could be unfounded, but I know that my fears will never be unfounded in her eyes. I know she would hold my hand through it. I know I should be able to make it through a couple of days without her and I should be able to do this procedure without her, but I’m scared and the only person who can calm me down when I’m scared is her.
The elevator dings and opens on the fourth floor. I’m half surprised to see that Dr. Fife is the first to greet me, standing up in his chair. “Dr. Torres, nice to see you again,” he smiles warmly.
“Gabe, how many times do I have to tell you, it’s Callie,” I smile and give him a one armed hug.
“Naomi is in her office. I assume that’s who you came to talk to,” I nod. “Great, so how are things with the wife and kid?”
“Unbelievable,” I laugh.
“They keep you on your toes huh?”
“That’s for sure,” I smile, “It’s a great life.”
“Can you keep a secret?”
I nod, “Sure.”
“You’re positive?”
“Yes,” I laugh.”Of course I can.”
“I’m in love with Naomi.”
We stop walking, “Have you told her?” He nods, “And?”we start walking again.
“I think she still loves Sam.”
“Oh Gabe, I’m sorry.”
He shrugs, “It’s okay, I had a feeling. Well here we are.”
“If you need anything feel free to call.”
“Same goes to you, although don’t let it get out that I’m a softy,” he smiles.
“Never,” I smile back and knock on Naomi’s door.
She looks up, “Hey! You’re here! How was your flight?”
“It was a flight, now the car, that on the other hand…”
“Oh, the wife was behind that one wasn’t she?”
“Her and papa. They like to scheme,” I laugh and give Naomi a big hug. We sit and both sigh then laugh again. “So how is Mya?”
Naomi smiles, “She’s good.”
“And you and Mya?”
“Better,” Naomi’s face however says otherwise. “Still a little fragile, I said some things about Dink she didn’t like.”
“Uh oh, “ Addison walks in. “I thought you and Sam were past that.”
“She’s our daughter, we want what is best for her.”
“And you don’t think that it’s Dink?” I ask.
“No, we don’t but we don’t get a vote on that, she’s 17 now and a senior in high school. Never mind that, I’m almost done here, and then we can go to lunch.”
“Great, I’m starving,” Naomi only takes a few more minutes and we’re on our way. “So where to?”
“I was thinking Café Rosa, it’s right on the beach and it’s gorgeous out.”
“Sounds great, and it’s a short walk,” Addison adds.
“So any ideas on what kind of sperm you’re looking for?”
Naomi’s question makes me laugh. “Well we have a blue eyed blondie, we were hoping for a little mini me next.”
“Perfect, any requirements?”
“Well, not really. I mean I’ll be happy to have a health bouncing bundle of joy no matter what.”
“So no racial requirements.”
“Well no, but I am hoping for kids that look like us.”
“You know there is an option if you want a child who is both biologically yours and hers. Do you want to look into that?”
“Would it take long?”
“Well we would need Arizona to be here, let’s talk about the details over lunch.”
We walk up to the café and order healthy looking food and sit at a small table on the patio. I look down at my California cobb salad, it actually looks delicious and I don’t like salad. “So, about this new procedure, tell me about it.”
“Well what we have to do first is test Arizona and make sure she can donate an egg. We’ll put you through several tests to make sure you’ll be able to carry the egg. After that we’ll fertilize the egg and implant it. Then both you and Arizona would have biological ties to the baby. Of course it will be like last time, we’ll have to do several to make sure one sticks. There will be a possibility of multiple pregnancies.”
“Right, well how long would it take?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure, but it is a lot longer than normal IVF. Arizona should definitely be here if you want to consider it.”
“I know, I want her to be here anyway, it’s just really crazy lately at the hospital. I talked to her this morning she’s going to try and get here for tomorrow.”
“Oh that’s great.”
I nod, “Yeah it is,” I smile.
“So, brown eyes is not exactly a guarantee if that is the route you want to go. To get a mini version of yourself you’ll have to do a normal IVF.”
“I think that for this pregnancy we’ll do it that way.”
“You know if you both wanted to try again we can give her iron pills.”
“If that’s the case she definitely has the next one.”
When Addison and I finally get back from shopping I pass out on the couch pretty quickly. When I wake up I hear whispering from the kitchen and groan. “Addie shut up,” I hear a small giggle and feel little hands on my tummy. I open my eyes to see Lucy bear smiling at me.
“Hi mommy!”
“Oh hunnie,” I pull her up on my lap. “I missed you so much.”
“I miss you too mommy, I askeded mama if I could come and she couldn’t say no.”
“That’s because you’re just so cute.”
“I’m cute?”
“Yes baby, you are cute,” I laugh and tickle our little bundle of joy.
“And what about me? Am I cute?”
I look up and find my wife who looks so worn down that it breaks my heart. “No, you’re amazing.”
“Uh oh, are mommy and mama gunna kissy?” Lucy mocks us.
I tickle her some more and lift her over my head. “Yes but, first you need to go to bed, it’s way past your bed time.”
“I set up the other room that’s connected to yours for her. This way you two will have some privacy.”
“Thanks Addie, come on munchkin, let’s go to bed.”
“Will you sing to me?”
“Of course, and mama will come too.”
“Yeah I’ll be right in,” Arizona smiles and pulls Addison aside.
I’m sure they’re talking about me, about the pregnancy, about the chances of things working out like last time. I couldn’t take that and she knows it. “What’s mama doin’ with auntie?”
“They’re just talking sweetie, what song would you like to hear today?”
“Dreamland.”
“Okay,” I lay her in the extra bed that Addison got for her and pull the covers all the way up. “The sandman has come, to bid his goodnight. He'll sprinkle sleep dust, and your eyes will grow tired,” I sing as she cuddles deeper into the blankets. “You'll go on a journey, to a magical land, you’ll return nightly
to a place called DREAMLAND. In Dreamland, oh how we can fly, for the angels will give us their wings to try. In Dreamland, on rainbows we'll climb. And then for more fun, down moonbeams we'll slide,’ Arizona approaches the doorway and silently listens as I finish. “The sun will rise, as the stars fade away.
Your eyes will soon open, to greet the day. As soon as night falls and the moon starts to dance, well this is your cue, that it's time for Dreamland.”
When I finish she is fast asleep and Arizona is just looking at me, “What?”
“You’re so great with her.”
“After three years that still surprises you?”
She shakes her head, “No I’m not surprised, but I am astounded at how well you can soothe her to sleep.”
“It’s a gift, my mother used to do it for me and Aria.”
“I wonder sometimes why you didn’t pursue a music career. I love your voice.”I feel the blush creep up my neck, “I love that too,” she says.
“You look exhausted.”
“I am, I’ve been up since last night with papa trying to get the flight information right and get here on time.”
“Aww hunnie, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, I’m glad we’re here. I’m sorry it’s late.”
“It’s okay,” I walk her towards the bedroom and shut the door. “Lie down, go on.” I move her towards the bed. I ride myself of my clothing and move towards her. I take her socks off first and then unbutton her jeans. I pull them down along with her panties and let them drop to the floor. I pull her up towards me and remove her shirt and bra next. I kiss her shoulder and her neck before pulling the sheets up over us. I hold her tightly and whisper in her ear, “I can sing for you if it will help you sleep.” She nods, “Any requests baby?”
“Love me tender,” I nod and kiss her shoulder.
“Love me tender, love me sweet, never let me go. You have made my life complete, and I love you so. Love me tender; love me true, all my dreams fulfilled. For my darlin' I love you, and I always will,” I sing softly in her ear. “Love me tender, love me long, take me to your heart. For it's there that I belong, and we'll never part. Love me tender, love me true, all my dreams fulfilled, for my darling I love you and I always will. Love me tender, love me dear, tell me you are mine. I'll be yours through all the years, till the end of time. Love me tender, love me true, all my dreams fulfilled, for my darling I love you ----and I always will.”
By the sound of her breathing I can tell she’s asleep. I kiss her shoulder one last time before letting my eyes close and drift off to sleep myself.
I wake up slowly as the sun drifts into our bedroom. Arizona is still cradled against me wrapped protectively in my arms and as the sunlight touches her face and hair briefly, I realize how wonderfully lucky I am to have a woman who cares so much about me. I gather stray pieces of her hair between my fingers and move it from her face. I place a light kiss on her cheek and just lay there content to watch her sleep.
My musings are short lived though, as our daughter bounds into the bedroom and pounces on the bed with a giggle. “Mornnin’ mommy.”
“Hi sweetie,” she crawls up to me and places her hand on my bare shoulder.
“I’m hungie, mommy, auntie Addie promised she would make us beakfast.”
“Breakfast, and yes she did promise. I tell you what, why don’t you go potty and pick out something from your suit case to wear today. Then you and I will go see what auntie Addie is making.”
“Okay mommy,” she springs off the bed in a hurry and it amazes me that she has so much energy in the mornings, she takes after Arizona that way. Speaking of the love of my life, she’s still sound asleep, which also amazes me. The force with which Lucy jumped on the bed, I’m surprised she didn’t wake right up.
I take my time kissing her awake because I know it takes Lucy forever to pick out her clothes. Her eyelids flutter open and I am greeted with bright blue orbs. I smile and place a soft kiss on her lips before I let her fully wake up.
“Hi,” she whispers.
“Hey,” I smile back.
“Lucy awake?”
“Mhm, picking out clothes, thought that would give us time to get dressed.”
She nods, “Good idea.”
“Addison is cooking breakfast.”
“An even better idea,” I laugh. “Well come on then, let’s get moving.”
“Wait, just a second,” she smiles and pulls me down towards her. Our kisses are slow and languid as our tongues move alongside each other. It feels so good to be near her, to just be in the same bed. I know it’s silly that I can’t go a day without being close to her, but she’s like my oxygen. I need her to breathe and she fuels my fire. Our kissing ends just as slowly as it began and we reluctantly get dressed for the day. It feels like a jeans and t-shirt day for the simple fact that in the time since I woke up it has gotten very dark outside, which leads me to believe that a storm is blowing in.
She also feels like jeans and a t-shirt as I watch her pull on my old college tee. I smile softly, I was a little bit thinner then and it fits her pretty loosely but not so much so that it hangs off of her. I actually love seeing her wear it. She pulls on the loops of my jeans and kisses me on the nose. She says it’s one of her favorite places to kiss, although I don’t particularly see the appeal. She settles against me and takes a deep breath.
“I missed your scent.”
“I have a scent?”
She nods, “Like strawberries and rain,” she looks up at me. “It’s my favorite smell you know. Well, next to doughnuts of course.”
“Of course,” I laugh and kiss her forehead then drag her from the bedroom even though I would rather spend all day inside of that room instead. Lucy is still standing in front of her suitcase. One hand is on her hip the other under her chin in a contemplative manner. It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen and I whip my cell out to take a picture. She spins around and stomps once. “I dunno what to wear, what do you think mommy?”
I scoop her up into my arms and sigh, “Well it’s raining so definitely pants.”
“Okay.”
“How about these jeans,” I pick up her tiny blue jeans, a purple shirt, and a white sweatshirt. “With these?”
“Okay, can I dress myself?”
“Sure,” I place her back on her own two feet and watch as she easily slips off her clothes, but struggles to button the jeans (I never understood why they put buttons on little people jeans, they should just make them slip on and off) and the shirt, let’s just say her head ended up in a sleeve. I snap another picture and help her right herself. “There we go, good as new.”
She yanks on my hand and pulls Arizona and myself into the hallway towards the kitchen, “Come on, auntie Addie is making eggs, and piggy strips, and toast.”
“I just want coffee,” Arizona yawns.
“But mama, beakfast is the mostest im-por-tant meal of the day.”
“Most important hunnie,” I correct her, “And your mama knows that, she’s just really tired still and needs her daily fix of coffee to make it through the morning.”
“What’s a fix?”
“Calliope,” Arizona warns. “I swear…”
“Don’t swear mama, it’s bad.”
I meet her eyes and just smile, “A fix is something you need to get through the day.”
“Like candy?” my smart little jelly bean asks.
“Yeah, like candy,” the best analogy I could come up with was my need to have a fix of Arizona and our daughter every day.
“Can I have a candy fix?”
“No,” Arizona smiles sweetly. “But I’m gunna fix mommy if she doesn’t shush.”
“Uh oh, you’re in tubble mommy.”
“Trouble, Lucy, and we’ll see about that,” I wink.
“Are you teaching my niece bad habits?” Addison smiles as we enter the kitchen.
“Of course not, she asked me a question, I just answered it.”
“Uh huh, well let’s eat shall we?”
“Yes, piggy strips!” Lucy bounces excitedly in her chair. “Mommy, mommy, piggy strips!”
I smile at my daughter; I swear she is the cutest little thing on the planet. I steal a quick peek at Arizona and find she still looks just as tired as she did last night. I wonder if the tiny coffins have been haunting her again. She doesn’t tell me much anymore, but I can tell because she always looks like the walking dead the next morning. The only thing is, I never felt her move last night, not once. Normally she does.
She looks up at my questioning eyes. She knows what I’m thinking about. She shakes her head and we sit down at the table. Addison brings us both coffee and our plates, “Addie you’re a godsend,” my girlfriend whispers and takes a long sip.
“Well thank you, it’s nice to know someone appreciates it.”
“Hey I say thank you and help clean up.”
“Yeah, yeah, eat your breakfast,” Addison sits at the table and pours herself a cup of coffee. “So, have you thought about what we talked about yesterday?”
“A little…”
Arizona looks up, “What was yesterday?”
“We had lunch with Naomi,” I say smiling. “It’s nothing bad, don’t worry hunny.”
“Okay, so what did you talk about?”
“Babies.”
“Yes Calliope I should hope so, what about babies?”
“Oh just another form of in vitro fertilization.”
“Another form? They have more than the one we try? They have more than one?”
I nod; sometimes I don’t know how to broach certain topics with her. This is something I really want to give a shot at some point though. I think it would be great. “Well Naomi told me about it yesterday. It’s something we can both do. It’s called reciprocal in vitro fertilization.”
“I did some more research on it this morning while you were sleeping. It’s usually used for couples who have one infertile partner and the other fertile. So they take the egg from the fertile partner and sperm it up and then put it in the infertile partner. This way the couple can have their own child and the child is directly tied to both partners,” Addison adds.
Arizona looks completely confused, “Hunny, are you okay?”
“Uh yeah, I get it, I just, what’s wrong with the other way?”
“There is nothing wrong with the other way if that is the way you want to go. All I am saying is we have other options. Addison said you could take iron pills too if you wanted to carry the next one, if we have another one.”
“Well that has to be extensive testing. Not to mention probably twice as expensive for twice the amount of tests.”
“You’re right, it is more expensive. It is a lot of testing. You would go through every ounce of testing that Callie does, maybe even more.”
“The whole reason we did it this way other than my iron deficiency is that I don’t want a kid walking out of my vajayjay. I don’t have the hips for that and yours are perfect.”
“My hips are perfect, yes, but I am not. I already had a miscarriage the last time around. I don’t know if I would be able to carry again with my history of medical problems when I am pregnant.”
Arizona sit still considering what I just said. “Okay say I do this? What are we looking at here?”
“A review of medical records, a physical exam, blood testing, screening for familial, genetic and infectious diseases, and psychological evaluation. All of which could be done at the Practice. There will also be controlled ovarian stimulation in which hormones will be used to create more eggs. The only technical difference between standard in vitro fertilization and reciprocal IVF is the involvement of two women. The medical procedures are nearly identical.”
“That’s pretty much all Callie’s deal though if she would be the one volunteering the egg; obviously that is why we are talking about it. For you it’s a little different. When the use of fresh embryos is planned, the cycles of both partners must be synchronized. The menstrual cycle of the partner who is carrying the pregnancy is synchronized with the cycle of the partner providing eggs, using a combination of birth control pills and Lupron. Preparation of the endometrium for embryo implantation is then accomplished with estrogen and progesterone, hormones which are normally produced by the ovaries, in dosages intended to mimic what happens during a natural ovulation cycle.”
“What happens if that doesn’t work? We aren’t on the same schedule now so, that could be a possibility right?”
“It could be, if that’s the case we would freeze the embryos and transfer them in a subsequent cycle.”
Arizona sits there taking in all of the information and take a deep breath followed by a sip of coffee. “Wow, so it’s actually possible to carry each other’s child?”
“It is now.”
“Wow. I… wow.”
“You said that already sweetie. If you don’t want to do it, I obviously won’t make you or push the situation further. I just thought it was something to consider.”
Arizona looks up at me. “Do you want to do it?”
“Of course I do, but this isn’t just me here. They’re going to poke and prod you too.”
“I get that,” she looks over at Lucy. “I would like to have a child that shares both our DNA.”
“You would?”
“Yes, of course, don’t be absurd. I’m just not sure how it would work out. I’m almost forty.”
“You’re in great health though.”
“I smoke.”
“When you’re in trouble, which is not very often.”
“I like to drink.”
“Big deal, so do I, I stay 100% sober while I’m pregnant, you can too. Look we don’t have to do this now, we don’t need to make this decision now. I’m going through with this pregnancy. We’re going to have this baby first and then we won’t talk babies for at least another year after that so, it’s okay. You don’t need to decide now, you have time. We have time to talk about it and do whatever research you want to do. Okay?”
Arizona nods. “Okay, I can do that.”
“That’s all I’m asking,” I respond with a smile and kiss her cheek.