(no subject)
it seems that I'm always upsetting people. I can't help it. Well, i can, i guess, but it's just the way i am.
I'm a very goal oriented person and as soon as one goal is reached, i have 3 more to work towards. Unfortunately they're goals that no on else finds interesting or worthy of the time i spend on them. For instance, I started writing software to make my boss' life easier. He didn't ask me to, but i've been wanting to code again for a long time and this just seemed like an opportunity to get back in to it while being paid to do what i love. Since the very moment that i started the project i've devoted as much time to it as humanly possible even to the point of neglecting everyone i love. I just can't rest until it's finished. When i do take breaks, i get completely obsessed with something else technical like working out flaws in my graphics driver or researching things to be used in my next software project. That's just how i am. I love technology. I love that i can make a computer do whatever i want to just by sitting down and typing for a few hours. And the more i do it, the more i realize i can do. It's empowering in a way. I'm naturally a very emotional, involved, loyal, sexual, and energetic person, but my methods cause me to seem otherwise. Sometimes i feel like i should apologize for it, but most of the time i just think that if it's how i am, it should be accepted or ignored. Selfish, i know, but am i wrong in this? How else can one survive and be happy? And do i hold on to those that i love while constantly disappointing them? Or do i completely let go knowing that I'll regret it and miss them but know that I'm not hurting anyone? How do i justify myself? And more importantly, why am i asking you? Wow, dramatic...
while (m_lifestyle == ID_CURRENT) {
bool moodHappiness = false;
for (unsigned int i = 0; i < friends->m_joy; ++i) {
bool fail = true;
point = NULL;
}
}
I'm a very goal oriented person and as soon as one goal is reached, i have 3 more to work towards. Unfortunately they're goals that no on else finds interesting or worthy of the time i spend on them. For instance, I started writing software to make my boss' life easier. He didn't ask me to, but i've been wanting to code again for a long time and this just seemed like an opportunity to get back in to it while being paid to do what i love. Since the very moment that i started the project i've devoted as much time to it as humanly possible even to the point of neglecting everyone i love. I just can't rest until it's finished. When i do take breaks, i get completely obsessed with something else technical like working out flaws in my graphics driver or researching things to be used in my next software project. That's just how i am. I love technology. I love that i can make a computer do whatever i want to just by sitting down and typing for a few hours. And the more i do it, the more i realize i can do. It's empowering in a way. I'm naturally a very emotional, involved, loyal, sexual, and energetic person, but my methods cause me to seem otherwise. Sometimes i feel like i should apologize for it, but most of the time i just think that if it's how i am, it should be accepted or ignored. Selfish, i know, but am i wrong in this? How else can one survive and be happy? And do i hold on to those that i love while constantly disappointing them? Or do i completely let go knowing that I'll regret it and miss them but know that I'm not hurting anyone? How do i justify myself? And more importantly, why am i asking you? Wow, dramatic...
while (m_lifestyle == ID_CURRENT) {
bool moodHappiness = false;
for (unsigned int i = 0; i < friends->m_joy; ++i) {
bool fail = true;
point = NULL;
}
}