It's amazing how much people can still hurt you even when they're not in your life anymore.
OK well I'm a stupid idiot. I went and read through your LJ Mike. Reading over the old entries, i thought that maybe we could still be friends. I remembered how much you cared about me and that what we had was special. But reading the latest entries, the ones where your friends reacted to my comment, it brought back just how much you hurt me. And it kills me that these friends of yours are bitching about me. Obviously it was never brought to their attention that when we were together, all I thought about was you. I didn't care about me or how I felt, everything I did was in your best interests, I worried about you 24/7 and I went out of my way to make you feel better. And how did you repay me? You sent me an e-mail finishing our relationship, there was no call, no face to face conversation, just those words that echoed through my head for the rest of the day, while I was in work, trying to hide how upset I was from everybody. You had the chance to be a man, we were on the phone the night before, why couldn't you have said something then? Or even still, when I tried to end it, why didn't you let me? You begged me not to leave you, you were in tears waiting beside the phone and you broke down and made me promise to stay with you. So I did. And even when we broke up, and I decided not to stay friends-because I couldn't believe how thoughtless you'd been, you let your friends say shit about me. Well let me tell you something, I never once badmouthed you, I defended what anybody else said about you, like I always did, when I was questioned about why it was always me to call you, why it was always me who had to be the strong one. I made excuses for you. And I got annoyed with my friends if they thought you weren't good enough. And now I see that I didn't mean anything to you. Not enough for you to protect our past anyway, you're letting them ruin it. But that's fine, add it to the rest of the memories that will never surface again. Because even though I have some nice memories of us, I know that what I can have with somebody else will be a million times better. And I will learn to trust again, I'm not going to let you take that away from me. I will be happy, without you.