The Academy Awards
My thoughts:
-Keith Urban reeked of alcohol and ritalin.
-I was late getting backstage because it took me ten minutes to walk around Jennifer Hudson. Presumably named after the Bay in which she left a ring around. ZING!
-That Allen guy was a pretty good host, but he really should have worn a tie.
-I went to pull Peter O'Toole's eyelids down but, as it turns out, he was still alive.
-I mistakenly gave Eddie Murphy the keys to my car. With that jacket I thought for sure he was a valet. Nevertheless, he was honored and parked the car.
-More mishaps, as I told Meryl Streep that the restroom needed more cakes in the urinals. Boy did she look like crap.
-I saw Philip Seymour Hoffman backstage. He was rather shaken. I found out he was still scared after I handed him his fat ass in MI3. My acting was so powerful, so terrifying that he is still a wreck today.
-Jack Nicholson thanked me for putting him on the map with A Few Good Men. What a great guy.
-Keith Urban reeked of alcohol and ritalin.
-I was late getting backstage because it took me ten minutes to walk around Jennifer Hudson. Presumably named after the Bay in which she left a ring around. ZING!
-That Allen guy was a pretty good host, but he really should have worn a tie.
-I went to pull Peter O'Toole's eyelids down but, as it turns out, he was still alive.
-I mistakenly gave Eddie Murphy the keys to my car. With that jacket I thought for sure he was a valet. Nevertheless, he was honored and parked the car.
-More mishaps, as I told Meryl Streep that the restroom needed more cakes in the urinals. Boy did she look like crap.
-I saw Philip Seymour Hoffman backstage. He was rather shaken. I found out he was still scared after I handed him his fat ass in MI3. My acting was so powerful, so terrifying that he is still a wreck today.
-Jack Nicholson thanked me for putting him on the map with A Few Good Men. What a great guy.