GUNDAM WING FANFIC MANIFESTA

[szzzt]

This is most of my personal GW fic rant, which is not so much a manifesta as a drinking game.

I really only posted this to try out my new icon. Please don't anyone make a voodoo doll of me...When I eventually release some GW fic into the nets, you will see I commit plenty of infelicities of my own. Just not these particular ones.


GEM COLORS
Because eyes are not eyes, but jewels. Except Heero's.
There's a lack of 03 04 here... Guess you can see what numbers I read.

• amethyst / hyacinth / Prussian blue / violet-blue / "an odd blue"
  
• Prussian blue / cobalt blue / "two pits lined with hard cobalt" / midnight blue
  
• emerald / verdant
  
• turquoise / cornflower-blue
  
• onyx / obsidian / fiery obsidian / "dark" / velvet dark / sloe / sable / ebony
  

THE AUTHORITATIVE FANFIC POINTS CALCULATOR
Play along with me!

the [nationality] [noun]

the American [noun]
-5
Dude, Duo is not American. He's from L2. If L2 was in Hetalia, he would stab America with a shiv and steal his food and clothes.

the [nationality] boy
-5
...don't rub my face in it...

the Chinese teen
-1
*grudging*

the Japanese pilot
-0
alright, this is okay

the Arabian [noun]
-2
With additional penalties for "boy"

the French pilot
-0
Funnily enough, I've never seen this one!

the L2 pilot
+1
Mutatis mutandis.

the Chinese man
-0
Not *bad*, but argh... if you have to settle for this, why bother?

the green-eyed one
+1
*snerk*

the braided [noun]

-2
On principle

the braided boy
-5

the braided American
-5

the braided menace
+2
Acceptable!

"ready to bite off that braided head"
+10
Let's all plagiarize Maldoror

the braided head case
+2
Also acceptable!

other-pilot variations
+2
The ponytailed, the tank-topped, the vested, the banged, etc.

Doormat Duo

-50

Doormat Quatre

-20

Doormat Wufei

-100
Doormat Heero or Trowa might be in character. Convince me.

"Oh my Allah" syndrome
-10
Per offense

Use of "koi" as pet name
-5
Per offense ("I love you, fish!")

unjustified phobias
-15
Fear of water, etc. See "Doormat" section.

OOC Wufei

-50
I decide what OOC is (currently this includes both Asshole Wufei and China Doll Wufei), but you get +49 back if I like him anyway.

Gunfights/action scenes
+10
Each!

Gundam battles
+5
Only if exciting

Sword fights
+10
Each!

Knife fights
+20
Each!

Meat hook fights
+30
I love you forever

>

"One pilot is treated unfairly by (all) the others, who feel very guilty when they realize" genre

If poor schlub is Duo
-20
Got that T-shirt... but a knife fight will set you right

If poor schlub is Wufei
+10
Good start!

If poor schlub is Heero
+5
Intriguing!

If poor schlub is Quatre/Trowa
+4
Make me care... I'll help you!

Use of Japanese by pilots who don't know it

-5
Per offense

By Duo

-10

By Wufei

-20

Bad fangirl Japanese

-10
(cumulative)

At pivotal pillowtalk moment
-15
(cumulative)

Use of Chinese by Wufei

+5
No points deducted for bad Chinese!


PHRASES THAT EXIST
What color is toast?

throbbing member
caramel face
toast-colored lips
violet saucers [for eyes]
buds [nipples]
verdant gaze (actually, I like this one)
sweet nubbin [nipple]
koi [as an endearment] [used a LOT]
persian eyed boy (typo for "Prussian"??)

• the facades of over brilliant chipperness
  
• the viscous knife of indecision
  
• Treize was a man who cared so deeply that no one could understand him.
  
• Then, realization struck from behind.
  
• The man aimed at ducked it.
  
• cotton-candy darkness
  
• "It's OK, buddy. I know. Sex doesn't fix clinical depression. But I'm glad it made you feel better for a while."
  

PHRASES THAT DO NOT EXIST BUT SHOULD

• His eyes pierced me, like a device with high mechanical advantage
  
• the steely flints [flinty steels?] of his eyes struck sparks that fell into limpid pools and fizzled
  
• Duo tugged his braid and folded his arms obstinately. Men! He didn't understand them!
  
• Heero sighed. He wished Wufei were here. Wufei always knew how to talk to girls.