Fic - The Way of Us
Okay, so I got home from work and I wasn't tired. So I walked straight past the pile of clean washing I need to put away and sat down at my computer. Here I ignored the e-mails I need to reply to and the ongoing stories I need to finish and I wrote this pointless little 800 word thing.
*headdesk*
Title: The Way of Us
Author: szm
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Spoilers: This lives in a happy world were COE never happened. But I guess maybe there is a tiny baby spoiler in there. Kinda. Read at your own risk.
Summary: Different and the same
Sometimes Ianto looks at them and all he can see is the ways they’re different.
Jack’s older, so much older. He’s had so many experiences that Ianto can’t even imagine what they might be, let alone have any thoughts as to what they might have been like. Jack makes him feel like a child sometimes. Ianto hated being a child.
Jack’s braver, or more ruthless, or both. He might even be the monster Ianto accused him of being. Jack killed Lisa. Freed her from the hell she was living in. Because he could see that there was no hope for her. That she would take everybody else with her.
There’s no hope for Grey. He’d happily take everyone to hell with him. But Ianto can’t quite bring himself to do for Jack what Jack did for him. He can’t decide if that makes him a better or a worse person. Mostly he tries not to think about it.
Jack loves it when he comes up against something he doesn’t know. Ianto has to know. He knows everything. He puts a lot of work into being able to say that. Because he’s always been the youngest, always been the one who every body wanted to protect. He remembers hiding at the top of the stairs listening to his parents talk, his mother cry “Don’t tell the little one.” But Ianto knows, Ianto learnt, not knowing doesn’t make you safe. The monsters can get you whether you know about them or not. A childhood lesson re-learnt at canary wharf.
So Ianto knows. He knows the Hub better than Jack, he knows everything that’s in the archives. He keeps a diary to make sure he doesn’t forget. He’s read the personnel files on everybody even remotely connected to Torchwood and independently backed up the information. He walks into situations mentally filling and assessing all the new information against the old.
Jack with his twisty turny past and casual attitude to the truth is like a giant rubiks cube of a puzzle.
Jack, who walks into situations with a grin and a shrug and a ‘let's see what happens if I poke this’ attitude. It’s terrifying. And sort of wonderful.
Really, Jack is nothing like him. And Ianto worries, he won’t be enough. That Jack will leave him again. Ianto’s not sure how he’s going to survive that
**
Sometimes Jack looks at them and all he can see are the ways they’re the same.
Ianto ran away from home, to London, to Torchwood. Because he wanted something bigger than his own life. So did Jack. Jack ran to the time agency. And they both bit off way more than they could chew. And they both found a way to deal with it. Or at least fake it convincingly.
They both understand guilt. The very special guilt of not being able to protect the one person you were supposed to. Grey, Lisa. Jack hates that he compares them, but somewhere in the back of his mind he made the connection and now he can’t unmake it. So he tries not to think about it.
They’re both liars. It’s defence, and necessity, and… well habit. Jack lies without even thinking about it. A smile and a nearly there promise, even Gwen falls for it half the time.
At first Jack thought that Ianto became a liar for Lisa, but now he knows it started way before that. Jack thinks Ianto became a liar as a child, just like Jack, because Ianto lies all the time. Not just with his words. Not always for any real reason. Not big things, nothing important, just slight modifications to the truth. Jack’s been a liar for a very long time. He knows these are the ones that work best. That this is the very best way to hide who you are.
It’s reflexive for both of them. Whenever it was Ianto started lying it was a long time ago. Long before Lisa. It’s why Jack rarely sends Gwen on clean-up missions. She still has that split second where she has to think of the lie. Ianto doesn’t.
Jack’s 95% certain that Ianto’s Dad was not a tailor. The information was given up too easily, too quickly. If Gwen hesitates before she lies then Ianto hesitates, just slightly, before he tells the truth. It’s nice. It makes Jack feel like he earnt something.
Really, Ianto is just like him. And Jack worries, that it will get Ianto killed one day. Jack’s not sure how he’s going to survive that.
*headdesk*
Title: The Way of Us
Author: szm
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Spoilers: This lives in a happy world were COE never happened. But I guess maybe there is a tiny baby spoiler in there. Kinda. Read at your own risk.
Summary: Different and the same
Sometimes Ianto looks at them and all he can see is the ways they’re different.
Jack’s older, so much older. He’s had so many experiences that Ianto can’t even imagine what they might be, let alone have any thoughts as to what they might have been like. Jack makes him feel like a child sometimes. Ianto hated being a child.
Jack’s braver, or more ruthless, or both. He might even be the monster Ianto accused him of being. Jack killed Lisa. Freed her from the hell she was living in. Because he could see that there was no hope for her. That she would take everybody else with her.
There’s no hope for Grey. He’d happily take everyone to hell with him. But Ianto can’t quite bring himself to do for Jack what Jack did for him. He can’t decide if that makes him a better or a worse person. Mostly he tries not to think about it.
Jack loves it when he comes up against something he doesn’t know. Ianto has to know. He knows everything. He puts a lot of work into being able to say that. Because he’s always been the youngest, always been the one who every body wanted to protect. He remembers hiding at the top of the stairs listening to his parents talk, his mother cry “Don’t tell the little one.” But Ianto knows, Ianto learnt, not knowing doesn’t make you safe. The monsters can get you whether you know about them or not. A childhood lesson re-learnt at canary wharf.
So Ianto knows. He knows the Hub better than Jack, he knows everything that’s in the archives. He keeps a diary to make sure he doesn’t forget. He’s read the personnel files on everybody even remotely connected to Torchwood and independently backed up the information. He walks into situations mentally filling and assessing all the new information against the old.
Jack with his twisty turny past and casual attitude to the truth is like a giant rubiks cube of a puzzle.
Jack, who walks into situations with a grin and a shrug and a ‘let's see what happens if I poke this’ attitude. It’s terrifying. And sort of wonderful.
Really, Jack is nothing like him. And Ianto worries, he won’t be enough. That Jack will leave him again. Ianto’s not sure how he’s going to survive that
**
Sometimes Jack looks at them and all he can see are the ways they’re the same.
Ianto ran away from home, to London, to Torchwood. Because he wanted something bigger than his own life. So did Jack. Jack ran to the time agency. And they both bit off way more than they could chew. And they both found a way to deal with it. Or at least fake it convincingly.
They both understand guilt. The very special guilt of not being able to protect the one person you were supposed to. Grey, Lisa. Jack hates that he compares them, but somewhere in the back of his mind he made the connection and now he can’t unmake it. So he tries not to think about it.
They’re both liars. It’s defence, and necessity, and… well habit. Jack lies without even thinking about it. A smile and a nearly there promise, even Gwen falls for it half the time.
At first Jack thought that Ianto became a liar for Lisa, but now he knows it started way before that. Jack thinks Ianto became a liar as a child, just like Jack, because Ianto lies all the time. Not just with his words. Not always for any real reason. Not big things, nothing important, just slight modifications to the truth. Jack’s been a liar for a very long time. He knows these are the ones that work best. That this is the very best way to hide who you are.
It’s reflexive for both of them. Whenever it was Ianto started lying it was a long time ago. Long before Lisa. It’s why Jack rarely sends Gwen on clean-up missions. She still has that split second where she has to think of the lie. Ianto doesn’t.
Jack’s 95% certain that Ianto’s Dad was not a tailor. The information was given up too easily, too quickly. If Gwen hesitates before she lies then Ianto hesitates, just slightly, before he tells the truth. It’s nice. It makes Jack feel like he earnt something.
Really, Ianto is just like him. And Jack worries, that it will get Ianto killed one day. Jack’s not sure how he’s going to survive that.