(no subject)
so there's this guy I once dated, hewas tall, dark haired and when he let his beard grow looked damn sexy!!
he cheated on me like every other day, and there I was, stupid me believing his lies and taking him back over and over until his ex/side girl got pregnant and he left me.
The dayI saw him with the pregnant bitch, I was pissed and sat on a bench leaving a book by accident, it had my name and then I was called over the speaker system of the station because somenee had found my book, it was the sweetest guy ever and I bought him coffee asa thank you, three weeks after that, I heard my ex heard my name and went to see what happened, and saw me with Matt, me and matt saw each other a couple months and then things got cold and we parted as friends
why am I telling all this? because there's this song mexican singer Alejandra Guzman, the song is called Hacer el amor con otro (making love with someone else), the song must be translated so you can understand the meaning of the words. so bear with me
Amanecer con él (waking up with him...)
A mi costado no es igual que estar contigo(... bbymyside is not the same than being with you)
No es que esté mal, ni hablar (not like it's wrong, not way)
Pero le falta madurar, es casi un niño (but he was to grow up, he's like a child)
Blanco como el yogurt (pale as yogurt)
Sin ese toro que tu llevas en el pecho (without the bull youcarry inside your chest)
Fragilidad de flor (gentle as a flower)
Nada que ver con mi perverso favorito(nothing like the pervert I loved in you)
Sin tus uñas arañándome la espalda (without your nails racking my back)
Sin tus manos que me estrujan todo cambia (without your hands holding me down everything is different)
Sin tu lengua envenenado mi garganta(without your tongue poisoning my throat everything changes)
Sin tus dientes que torturan y endulzan yo no siento nada (without your teeth, sweet torture, I feel nothing)
Hacer el amor con otro, no no no (making love with someone else no, no, no)
No es la misma cosa, no hay estrellas de color rosa (is not the same, there's no pink stars)
No destilan los poros del cuerpo (My pores does not destile that...)
Ambrosía salpicada de te quieros (ambrosia sweetened with I love you's)
Hacer el amor con otro, no no no (making love to someone else)
Es como no hacer nada, falta fuego en la mirada (feels like nothing, missing the fire from your gaze)
Falta dar el alma en cada beso (missing giving the soul in every kiss)
Y sentir que puedes alcanzar el cielo (feeling like you could reach the sky)
Quise olvidarte con él (I wanted to fotget you with him)
Quise vengar todas tus infidelidades (I wanted to avenge every infidelity)
Y me salió tan mal (but it cameout wrong)
Que hasta me cuesta respirar su mismo aire (I hardly can breath the same air than him)
Los mechones de tu pelo negro crespo (your curly blachhair)
Tus caderas afiladas y escurridas (your narrow, boney hips)
Esa barba que raspaba como lija (that beard that felt like sand paper)
Y tu sonrisa retorcida son lo mejor que hay en mi vida (your wicked smile, were the best things in my life)
Hacer el amor con otro, no no no (making love with someone else no, no, no) No es la misma cosa, no hay estrellas de color rosa (is not the same, there's no pink stars) No destilan los poros del cuerpo (there's no detiled by th poor that...) Ambrosía salpicada de te quieros (ambrosia sweetened with I love you's)
Hacer el amor con otro, no no no (making love to someone else) Es como no hacer nada, falta fuego en la mirada (feels like nothing, missing the fire from your gaze) Falta dar el alma en cada beso (missing giving the soul in every kiss) Y sentir que puedes alcanzar el cielo (feeling like you could reach the sky)
so yeah... I just had my old music on shuffle and the song came up and it had me thinking about it, about him, because it was exactly how I always felt, Matt was a sweetheart and I wish him the very best, he was just not the right one for me, and it feels sad, that I might have ruined a good relationship because I was comparing him with someone else, because I was still hurting for someone else, maybe in a different moment in my life I wouldn't even dated him, because he was way too goodie two shoes for me, his wild moments were so funny, wearing shorts and having more than one pint of beer.
I miss both of them today for different reasons and the same reason at the same time .
BTW R and I broke up on April 30, his birthday