In This World and the Next Chapter 6
Welcome back, everyone.
Sirius was again lying in the extremely comfortable bed, wearing his borrowed pyjamas, but this time sleep eluded him. Today was in his top ten of happiest days ever but was by an exceedingly wide margin easily the strangest he'd yet lived. The recently amassed information was buzzing around his brain while Poppy's potions and Dan's exquisite single malt pulsed through his body.
Any doubts that this was some massive prank were dispelled by the sight of two eleven-year-olds playing McGonagall like a trout on a fly rod, they would return to Hogwarts on their own terms and Minerva thought it was all her idea.
I know Harry and Hermione are (nominal) adults trapped in the bodies of kids, a situation that'd catch anyone off guard unless they're in Hogwarts Exposed where every kid talks like that anyway, but still. Minerva is a deputy head with decades of experience and one of the most powerful witches in the Potterverse. Two 18-year-olds aren't going to have a hope in hell of putting one over on her. By way of illustration, here is Minerva McGonagall:
Here are some 18-year-olds with rather more intelligence and maturity than Harry and Hermione have displayed in ITWATN: (NSFW)
I rest my case.
The only crack in their armour was later that evening. When Sirius tried to push for information about who Moony had married, it was obvious to the three adults present that their self-assured act was indeed just that, an act.
The author can't seem to make his mind up whether he's considering new!Harry and Hermione to be adults, because here the "three adults" are by context Sirius and Mr and Mrs Granger. And if the self-assured act was indeed just an act, how the hell did they manage to outwit Professor McGonagall?
"Sirius you have no idea what we're dealing with here, we're trying to make things better but the whole mess could blow up in our faces at any moment. Last time Remus took a lot of convincing that he was worthy of a wife and that she loved him, furry little problem and all.
Remus tells Harry that James used to call his lycanthropy the "furry little problem" in Half-Blood Prince, but Harry himself shows no sign of adopting the term himself. Even accepting it as a nod to HBP is a problem, because of how much the author claims to have hated the last three books.
We hope to save both their lives but I also want my godson to be born.
Well, tough shit. There's absolutely no way Teddy Lupin is going to be born into the new universe. None whatsoever. That cannot happen. Why? Because so much has changed in this universe and so much is still set to change that any kid Remus and Tonks have is not going to be the Teddy Harry remembers. There's not even any guarantee that Remus and Tonks will be attracted to one another in the new timeline, considering that they're missing five years of personal development. The subject came up on Tumblr last week.
Fighting dark lords we can handle but I think it would be safe to say both of us haven't a clue about matchmaking."
Or indeed anything else, but that hasn't stopped them yet.
Hermione agreed with her husband,
Now there's a fucking shock.
"Perhaps Remus having a job two years before the last timeline and you being legally free might build up his confidence enough to the point where he can accept someone young and beautiful could love him."
So they get together before they do in canon, and don't die, and yet we're somehow expected to think that they're going to have exactly the same kid?
Sirius was desperate to make a joke about little red riding hood but could see it wouldn't be appreciated,
Not least because wizards have completely different fairy tales. Whose titles they sometimes even capitalise.
instead he bade them goodnight as the tired twosome headed off to bed. The chat he had with Dan and Emma though was no less revealing.
"What you have to understand Sirius is that they don't need parental figures looking out for them, just providing unconditional love and support." Dan could see he was going to have to explain this comment so did his best, "We have the distinct advantage of having lived those extra years and knowing the people they were before coming back in time. When Harry and Hermione arrived in Australia they were two broken people, we watched and helped where we could as they slowly put one another back together again. Emma and I already have six months experience fulfilling the support role they need, they've relied on each other for so long that sometimes you can feel like an outsider. It's not anything they do consciously but you don't have to be around them long to see they watch each other's backs in every situation. Harry and Hermione have a relationship built over years of hardship and danger which has made them closer than any other couple I can think of."
It would have been nice to have been shown this character development rather than just told about it. Harry and Hermione are fucked up, somehow, then they spent six months in Australia and were better, somehow, then they went back to the UK to find that it was fucked up, somehow, then they got om-nommed by the world's worst Dementor and ended up here. Somehow.
Emma tried to help with an example he could relate too, "I assume you know what a mountain troll is?"
Please tell me we're not going to have a Muggle explaining to Sirius what a troll is.
Sirius was really confused where that question was leading but nodded his confirmation anyway.
"Only a couple of months after starting Hogwarts, one of those creatures had Hermione trapped in a girl's bathroom and was determined to kill our little girl. Harry jumped on its back and stuck his wand up its nose to distract it away from her and they've been inseparable ever since.
The author is doing the LoPEF thing of making events that happened before Harry or Hermione developed the remotest interest in romance into some kind of foreshadowing. It doesn't work any better here.
Don't think for one second that Hermione wouldn't do the same for him, that is the kind of commitment they have for one another and it's grown since then as they got older. Some of the stories they could tell you would turn your hair white."
Yes, tell the guy who's just spent a decade in Azkaban what a terrifying ordeal Harry and Hermione have been through.
Emma now had tears in her eyes and Dan's arm around her shoulders, "Harry has stood by our daughter through nightmares you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy, he's killed to protect her and will do so again. That bitch he dealt with this morning was the one who had tortured him at Hogwarts before sentencing them both to death.
The way this is phrased suggests that Umbridge tortured Harry at Hogwarts immediately before sentencing him to death. In canon, of course, Harry already got his revenge for Umbridge's detentions.
We listened by phone as they were arrested and I was a basket case, Harry was forced to sit there in restraints while they legally murdered the woman he'd just married. There will be no tears cried in this house for that evil bitch, I would have killed her myself given half a chance."
And the way this is phrased with the run-on sentence suggests that Harry still had his Nokia brick with him in the courtroom, with the line still open, running up a bill so massive that the Dementor's Kiss would be a relief.
Sirius was left wondering just what role there was left for him to play in their lives, which was why he was unable to sleep. He was now a free man and able to make good on his promise to James and Lily, only to discover his eleven-year-old godson was not only married but had already defeated the monster that murdered his parents before returning back in time.
As you do.
The pair had also told him that their plans would see Peter 'ratted out' next week,
Their grins when Minerva gave them the news that the Weasleys would also be returning to Hogwarts were nothing short of feral, all four refused to explain it later, though Harry's comment of 'they're our Wormtail' silenced the marauder. He knew what it was like to suffer the betrayal of a friend, if this indeed was the position of the Weasleys then Sirius wasn't going to say a word in their defence. In his mind Wormtail was going to die for his betrayal of James and Lily, he couldn't imagine what the Weasleys had done to be classed the same but all four clearly thought the comparison was a fair one.
And it's not, even in the warped context of this fic. Wormtail betrayed Lily and James to their deaths because he was a coward who'd rather kneel to Voldemort than risk fighting him. Ron just picked up one of the most ill-conceived villain balls ever, after helping to defeat Voldemort.
Lucius was having a bad morning as he left the minister of magic's office without what he came for, this was a new experience for the blond Slytherin.
Oh, for fuck's sake. At least "the toad" was marginally imaginative.
Black's comment in the newspaper focused unwanted attention onto his past, a past he had so carefully spent years glossing over. Fudge had been no help whatsoever.
"Lucius what would you have me do? The article clearly stated that the man had been held incognito for the last decade. It's also a record of fact that you were involved, though under the duress and command of the Imperius curse. That it further mentions you never stood trial nor faced questions under truth serum is also a fact, whether you would choose to forget it or not. As far as I can see there is not one word of lie in that story, so how do you expect me to support your proposed charges of slander?"
Lucius was seething, well aware that had the same paper not printed in bold headlines that the Potters supported Fudge, Cornelius would have no qualms about backing his proposal. At the moment everything in the garden was rosy for the minister and he wasn't about to give the press any excuses to go digging for dirt.
I don't know how the new evidence casts any more doubt on Lucius being under the Imperius curse than already existed. And how exactly does Harry justify even knowing any of this?
Lucius had heard from Draco that the Potter brat had openly ridiculed his death eater family, publicly stating that he wasn't afraid of the Malfoy name or those who carried it. His first instinct had been to head to Hogwarts and make sure Severus dealt severely with the arrogant little shit, now he was glad he didn't.
The boy's actions had seen dramatic changes and not all of them bad, from the Malfoy point of view. Severus being forced to behave was no more than an annoyance at the moment, but losing influence at the ministry could be serious. On the other hand the Potter brat had practically destroyed the blood traitor weasels, and a certain old muggle-loving fool was unquestionably in far deeper shit than Lucius was.
That arse Fudge had casually mentioned truth serum and trial to put Lucius in his place, giving Potter any reason to demand such a thing would be a really bad idea. He could just imagine the minister, like an eager puppy waging his tail as he complied with the boy's request.
Hands up who can honestly see Lucius Malfoy even thinking words like "shit" and "arse". Thought not.
The Slytherin thing to do would be to wait and see how this played out before making any moves, he would have to owl Draco to keep his eyes open and stay out of trouble, especially with Potter. He was aware his son had the very un-Slytherin habit of shooting his mouth off at the wrong time, Lucius was hoping the boy's attendance at Hogwarts would teach him some restraint.
It's such an un-Slytherin habit that the Head of Slytherin himself indulges in it. Like Snape is going to call anyone a "mudblood", least of all in public.
Lucius was unaware that the owl would be too late to avoid Draco's latest episode in stupidity.
Yeah, thanks for pre-empting your plot.
Neville had just received a package from his grandmother containing a remembrall
Good. Maybe it'll help him remember to use capital letters.
Neville couldn't believe the evidence his own eyes were providing, he had friends.
Okay, I know, but I couldn't resist.
A voice he was coming to hate pulled him out of this pleasant feeling, "Oh look, the squib's got a remembrall!"
Neville turned around to see Malfoy and his goons laughing at him, the blond ponce made a grab for the sphere in his hand when mild-mannered Neville Longbottom reacted. The entire episode lasted mere seconds but the changes it brought would have far reaching effects.
As Malfoy attempted to grab the remembrall, Neville closed his hand over it, tightly trapping the Slytherin's meticulously manicured fingers. A panicking Draco used is other hand to reach for his wand, leaving Neville only one option.
He used Draco's trapped hand to pull him forward before using his other hand to put his fist forcibly and squarely into the posturing peacock's face. Neville liked the sound it made so pulled Malfoy back and punched him again. The heir to the Malfoy fortune had never been physically struck in his life and had no idea how to deal with it, Draco continued to try to free his wand as Neville pounded on him again and again.
And this is better than just telling McGonagall because...?
Crabbe and Goyle began to move when the first punch was thrown, unfortunately for them Neville's Gryffindor year-mates moved quicker. Lavender Brown smacked Vincent in the face with the plate containing her half-eaten breakfast,
Oh, so girls can defend themselves in this author's universe. Too bad nobody told Hermione when she was facing a shit wizard in Chapter 1, isn't it?
Snape was there with his wand drawn and looking for Gryffindor blood, fortunately for the lions, the leader of the pride was right behind him.
"Professor Snape, put your wand away immediately. These are children in our care, simply trying to have their breakfast in peace. There will be no foolish wand-waving here."
Snape was not for backing down, his godson was lying on the floor bleeding and he wanted retribution. "Three members of my house have been subjected to a vicious and brutal attack, the perpetrators should be at least expelled."
At least? What the fuck more can Hogwarts do than expel someone?
Lavender took a deep, calming breath before answering, "Well professor, you told us our house would be our family while we were in Hogwarts. I saw someone attacking a member of my family so did what I could to help. Surely you don't expect us to sit here and watch three people attack a member of our family without helping?"
The head of Gryffindor wanted to give her cub house points for an answer like that but her sense of fair play just wouldn't allow it, she was loath to punish them though so stole a page out of Severus's book. "While I admire your spirit Miss Brown I'm afraid the rules state you should have let a professor deal with the situation.
Like, you know, in canon.
She could see the crestfallen looks on the Gryffindor's faces so gave them a less than subtle hint of what would really be happening. "Please don't stuff yourselves at dinner as I will ask the house elves to supply us with some cakes and refreshments for our discussion."
Though with everything else in this fic being about as subtle as a battleship, how this hint actually managed to register as less than subtle is anyone's guess. Also, you'd think McGonagall wouldn't take so kindly to members of her house brawling in public.
Albus hadn't seen the incident that triggered this or any of the by-play, his entire concentration was absorbed by the newspaper in front of him. The vilifying of Albus Dumbledore was as brutal as it was truthful.
Black was a free man, Umbridge was dead and now everyone knew what had transpired that fateful night. Apparently the only thing Albus Dumbledore wasn't being blamed for was the Chudley Cannons loosing again.
The real problem though was that the story was the truth, Albus had a lifelong aversion to people learning the truth but was powerless to fight this.
He had taken baby Harry away and left him on a doorstep, against the child's parents express wishes. He had then never once returned to see how the boy was being treated.
And somehow managed to keep the location of the Boy Who Lived secret from the Ministry for ten years.
He had left Sirius Black in Azkaban when he had the power to grant him a trial, or even visit the prison himself.
Yes, because nobody could possibly object to the Headmaster of Hogwarts intervening in the Ministry's affairs.
He was the headmaster who sat and took no action as Molly Weasley tried to attack one of his students.
Exactly what kind of threat was she meant to pose, anyway? And you can't just go listing things you made up alongside the things you didn't like about canon as though they're equally valid in forming your opinion of a character, because they're not.
He was the person who erected the duelling wards that didn't take into account someone bouncing off them and finding themselves getting up close and personal with a dementor.
The author can't seem to decide whether it's a good thing or a bad thing that Umbridge found herself on the wrong end of the Dementor's Kiss, and the inconsistent viewpoint and characterisation of everyone in the story doesn't help. Anyway, back to
Sirius was enjoying his breakfast when Harry spoiled his appetite, "Sirius, we understand why you hate the place but we need to go to Grimmauld today."
He placed his cutlery on the plate just as Hermione offered him an explanation that was as shocking as anything he heard yesterday. "There is something there that your brother stole from Voldemort in order that the evil bastard could be killed. Regulus was fighting for the right side when he died."
Sirius was speechless and fighting back the tears so Harry continued, "He created horcruxes Sirius, when Regulus discovered this he gave his life to remove the item from where Voldemort had secured it. Kreacher has been faithfully guarding the necklace but was unable to destroy it, the goblins have already agreed to do the deed so we need to get the necklace to Gringotts."
On the one hand I appreciate the author not trying to explain what Horcruxes are when we've all read the books. On the other, considering they're the darkest and most secret area of magic, we're making quite the assumption that Sirius even knows what they are and an even bigger one that he's familiar with the idea of making more than one.
Sirius never took his eyes of his godson, the love he felt for this boy knew no bounds.
His love is like a lovely river of loving.
"Yesterday you gave me back my freedom and today you give me back my brother. I have been made welcome by this wonderful family and you'll have to excuse my tears, having nothing to feel happy about for so long has left me struggling to deal with these strange emotions. I just want to say thank you to everyone and Dan I'd love some company when getting blinding drunk tonight."
Dan squeezed his shoulder, "Harry and I tied one on a couple of times in Australia and felt better for it, especially as Hermione can brew the hangover cure. We're going to have to wait a few years before he can join us but just don't play him at pool for drinks, I was up and down to the bar all night."
This brought a chuckle to everyone, Hermione had loved watching her dad and Harry head off down the pub together. This also gave the Granger girls time to sit back on the porch with some chilled wine and chat, usually about their two men in the pub. Even though they weren't a couple in the romantic sense then, the hope of this being achieved someday was what had kept Hermione going.
Wait, what? Since when were they not a couple in the romantic sense when they were swanning around Australia letting wizarding Britain go to hell in a basket? We cut to the Weasleys, who all blame Molly for their plight because the author's got it in for her for some reason.
His wife was an opinionated woman, her greatest fault though was in thinking that everyone wanted, no needed to hear her opinion on everything. At the heart of the problem was the fact that she thought she was entitled to grab the Potter boy and give him a piece of her mind. That the boy's wife had objected and the couple had then put forward charges was them being 'bloody minded' as far as Molly was concerned.
This is presented as being self-evidently wrong, but I don't see it. Why do they have to leave the Burrow? Because Harry and Hermione are knocking it down to put up a McMansion. No, really:
Emma had been amazed at the magical blueprints for their new house, if they wanted to alter the size or layout of a room then one of the kids just used their wand to pull a wall to exactly where they thought it should be. This gave them unlimited options and was a lot of fun though Hermione kept trying to make the library bigger, it would seem some things never change. The magical world might not have computers but this was as close to a design program as to make no difference.
They wanted the house to be a combination of magical and mundane, there would be electricity and phone lines while the water and drainage would be provided by runes. The kitchen would have all modern appliances but with liberal use of self-cleaning charms to make the devices really labour saving.
With the plans at a stage where the family were all happy with them, the magical builder was then talking weeks to have it completed, and apologising because their mixture of specifications would make him take that long.
Emma's first sight of the burrow left her totally confused, this was a beautiful setting in Devon yet the building jutted up into the air like something a four-year-old would build using Lego. They had all this land yet had made the rickety structure at least four stories high, Emma could see no sense to it.
Fuck you. The Burrow is ten times cooler than the Château de Sue can ever hope to be.
As the contractors started tearing the building down she noticed Harry had Hermione held tightly in is arms, comfortingly whispering in her ear as she watched a place they had once loved raised to the ground.
For all the author tells us how awesome and badass ITWATN!Hermione is, he does a lousy job of showing us as once again she's the one who needs comforting by big strong Harry. Blech. Anyway, Luna shows up. No, she doesn't escape this shitfest. They've already turned Neville into a thug with their meddling, so goodness only knows what they've got in mind for poor Luna.
Luna was half-expecting to be shouted at and told to 'get lost!' this was a surprising, yet very welcome change. "No I live with my father at the Rookery, we'll be your nearest neighbours. My name is Luna Lovegood, some people call me loony."
Hermione intended to nip that in the bud, "Not while we're around they won't, Luna is a beautiful name. My name is Hermione and this is my husband Harry, we're the Potters."
Luna's eyes focused at this, the Potters were both pleased that they didn't immediately shoot straight to Harry's scar though. "My friend Ginny told me she met you two." On seeing the expressions on both the Potter's faces, Luna thought she needed to clarify what she meant. "Ginny was very impressed with you Hermione, she described in great detail how you protected Harry from her mother and brothers."
And hexing a bunch of unarmed people from whom nobody was in the slightest danger does not count as "protecting" anyone.
She hung her head down, "Ronald is the one who calls me loony."
Of course he is. Ron is the source of everything that's wrong with the Potterverse. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if Voldemort himself was revealed to be time-travelling Ron in disguise, who also turns out to be Grindelwald, Umbridge and all three of the Dursleys.
Harry and Hermione may have returned with hardened attitudes and a wide streak of ruthlessness but they were in no danger of turning dark.
Bullshit.
Sirius was again lying in the extremely comfortable bed, wearing his borrowed pyjamas, but this time sleep eluded him. Today was in his top ten of happiest days ever but was by an exceedingly wide margin easily the strangest he'd yet lived. The recently amassed information was buzzing around his brain while Poppy's potions and Dan's exquisite single malt pulsed through his body.
Any doubts that this was some massive prank were dispelled by the sight of two eleven-year-olds playing McGonagall like a trout on a fly rod, they would return to Hogwarts on their own terms and Minerva thought it was all her idea.
I know Harry and Hermione are (nominal) adults trapped in the bodies of kids, a situation that'd catch anyone off guard unless they're in Hogwarts Exposed where every kid talks like that anyway, but still. Minerva is a deputy head with decades of experience and one of the most powerful witches in the Potterverse. Two 18-year-olds aren't going to have a hope in hell of putting one over on her. By way of illustration, here is Minerva McGonagall:
Click to viewHere are some 18-year-olds with rather more intelligence and maturity than Harry and Hermione have displayed in ITWATN: (NSFW)
I rest my case.
The only crack in their armour was later that evening. When Sirius tried to push for information about who Moony had married, it was obvious to the three adults present that their self-assured act was indeed just that, an act.
The author can't seem to make his mind up whether he's considering new!Harry and Hermione to be adults, because here the "three adults" are by context Sirius and Mr and Mrs Granger. And if the self-assured act was indeed just an act, how the hell did they manage to outwit Professor McGonagall?
"Sirius you have no idea what we're dealing with here, we're trying to make things better but the whole mess could blow up in our faces at any moment. Last time Remus took a lot of convincing that he was worthy of a wife and that she loved him, furry little problem and all.
Remus tells Harry that James used to call his lycanthropy the "furry little problem" in Half-Blood Prince, but Harry himself shows no sign of adopting the term himself. Even accepting it as a nod to HBP is a problem, because of how much the author claims to have hated the last three books.
We hope to save both their lives but I also want my godson to be born.
Well, tough shit. There's absolutely no way Teddy Lupin is going to be born into the new universe. None whatsoever. That cannot happen. Why? Because so much has changed in this universe and so much is still set to change that any kid Remus and Tonks have is not going to be the Teddy Harry remembers. There's not even any guarantee that Remus and Tonks will be attracted to one another in the new timeline, considering that they're missing five years of personal development. The subject came up on Tumblr last week.
Fighting dark lords we can handle but I think it would be safe to say both of us haven't a clue about matchmaking."
Or indeed anything else, but that hasn't stopped them yet.
Hermione agreed with her husband,
Now there's a fucking shock.
"Perhaps Remus having a job two years before the last timeline and you being legally free might build up his confidence enough to the point where he can accept someone young and beautiful could love him."
So they get together before they do in canon, and don't die, and yet we're somehow expected to think that they're going to have exactly the same kid?
Sirius was desperate to make a joke about little red riding hood but could see it wouldn't be appreciated,
Not least because wizards have completely different fairy tales. Whose titles they sometimes even capitalise.
instead he bade them goodnight as the tired twosome headed off to bed. The chat he had with Dan and Emma though was no less revealing.
"What you have to understand Sirius is that they don't need parental figures looking out for them, just providing unconditional love and support." Dan could see he was going to have to explain this comment so did his best, "We have the distinct advantage of having lived those extra years and knowing the people they were before coming back in time. When Harry and Hermione arrived in Australia they were two broken people, we watched and helped where we could as they slowly put one another back together again. Emma and I already have six months experience fulfilling the support role they need, they've relied on each other for so long that sometimes you can feel like an outsider. It's not anything they do consciously but you don't have to be around them long to see they watch each other's backs in every situation. Harry and Hermione have a relationship built over years of hardship and danger which has made them closer than any other couple I can think of."
It would have been nice to have been shown this character development rather than just told about it. Harry and Hermione are fucked up, somehow, then they spent six months in Australia and were better, somehow, then they went back to the UK to find that it was fucked up, somehow, then they got om-nommed by the world's worst Dementor and ended up here. Somehow.
Emma tried to help with an example he could relate too, "I assume you know what a mountain troll is?"
Please tell me we're not going to have a Muggle explaining to Sirius what a troll is.
Sirius was really confused where that question was leading but nodded his confirmation anyway.
"Only a couple of months after starting Hogwarts, one of those creatures had Hermione trapped in a girl's bathroom and was determined to kill our little girl. Harry jumped on its back and stuck his wand up its nose to distract it away from her and they've been inseparable ever since.
The author is doing the LoPEF thing of making events that happened before Harry or Hermione developed the remotest interest in romance into some kind of foreshadowing. It doesn't work any better here.
Don't think for one second that Hermione wouldn't do the same for him, that is the kind of commitment they have for one another and it's grown since then as they got older. Some of the stories they could tell you would turn your hair white."
Yes, tell the guy who's just spent a decade in Azkaban what a terrifying ordeal Harry and Hermione have been through.
Emma now had tears in her eyes and Dan's arm around her shoulders, "Harry has stood by our daughter through nightmares you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy, he's killed to protect her and will do so again. That bitch he dealt with this morning was the one who had tortured him at Hogwarts before sentencing them both to death.
The way this is phrased suggests that Umbridge tortured Harry at Hogwarts immediately before sentencing him to death. In canon, of course, Harry already got his revenge for Umbridge's detentions.
We listened by phone as they were arrested and I was a basket case, Harry was forced to sit there in restraints while they legally murdered the woman he'd just married. There will be no tears cried in this house for that evil bitch, I would have killed her myself given half a chance."
And the way this is phrased with the run-on sentence suggests that Harry still had his Nokia brick with him in the courtroom, with the line still open, running up a bill so massive that the Dementor's Kiss would be a relief.
Sirius was left wondering just what role there was left for him to play in their lives, which was why he was unable to sleep. He was now a free man and able to make good on his promise to James and Lily, only to discover his eleven-year-old godson was not only married but had already defeated the monster that murdered his parents before returning back in time.
As you do.
The pair had also told him that their plans would see Peter 'ratted out' next week,
Their grins when Minerva gave them the news that the Weasleys would also be returning to Hogwarts were nothing short of feral, all four refused to explain it later, though Harry's comment of 'they're our Wormtail' silenced the marauder. He knew what it was like to suffer the betrayal of a friend, if this indeed was the position of the Weasleys then Sirius wasn't going to say a word in their defence. In his mind Wormtail was going to die for his betrayal of James and Lily, he couldn't imagine what the Weasleys had done to be classed the same but all four clearly thought the comparison was a fair one.
And it's not, even in the warped context of this fic. Wormtail betrayed Lily and James to their deaths because he was a coward who'd rather kneel to Voldemort than risk fighting him. Ron just picked up one of the most ill-conceived villain balls ever, after helping to defeat Voldemort.
Lucius was having a bad morning as he left the minister of magic's office without what he came for, this was a new experience for the blond Slytherin.
Oh, for fuck's sake. At least "the toad" was marginally imaginative.
Black's comment in the newspaper focused unwanted attention onto his past, a past he had so carefully spent years glossing over. Fudge had been no help whatsoever.
"Lucius what would you have me do? The article clearly stated that the man had been held incognito for the last decade. It's also a record of fact that you were involved, though under the duress and command of the Imperius curse. That it further mentions you never stood trial nor faced questions under truth serum is also a fact, whether you would choose to forget it or not. As far as I can see there is not one word of lie in that story, so how do you expect me to support your proposed charges of slander?"
Lucius was seething, well aware that had the same paper not printed in bold headlines that the Potters supported Fudge, Cornelius would have no qualms about backing his proposal. At the moment everything in the garden was rosy for the minister and he wasn't about to give the press any excuses to go digging for dirt.
I don't know how the new evidence casts any more doubt on Lucius being under the Imperius curse than already existed. And how exactly does Harry justify even knowing any of this?
Lucius had heard from Draco that the Potter brat had openly ridiculed his death eater family, publicly stating that he wasn't afraid of the Malfoy name or those who carried it. His first instinct had been to head to Hogwarts and make sure Severus dealt severely with the arrogant little shit, now he was glad he didn't.
The boy's actions had seen dramatic changes and not all of them bad, from the Malfoy point of view. Severus being forced to behave was no more than an annoyance at the moment, but losing influence at the ministry could be serious. On the other hand the Potter brat had practically destroyed the blood traitor weasels, and a certain old muggle-loving fool was unquestionably in far deeper shit than Lucius was.
That arse Fudge had casually mentioned truth serum and trial to put Lucius in his place, giving Potter any reason to demand such a thing would be a really bad idea. He could just imagine the minister, like an eager puppy waging his tail as he complied with the boy's request.
Hands up who can honestly see Lucius Malfoy even thinking words like "shit" and "arse". Thought not.
The Slytherin thing to do would be to wait and see how this played out before making any moves, he would have to owl Draco to keep his eyes open and stay out of trouble, especially with Potter. He was aware his son had the very un-Slytherin habit of shooting his mouth off at the wrong time, Lucius was hoping the boy's attendance at Hogwarts would teach him some restraint.
It's such an un-Slytherin habit that the Head of Slytherin himself indulges in it. Like Snape is going to call anyone a "mudblood", least of all in public.
Lucius was unaware that the owl would be too late to avoid Draco's latest episode in stupidity.
Yeah, thanks for pre-empting your plot.
Neville had just received a package from his grandmother containing a remembrall
Good. Maybe it'll help him remember to use capital letters.
Neville couldn't believe the evidence his own eyes were providing, he had friends.
Okay, I know, but I couldn't resist.
A voice he was coming to hate pulled him out of this pleasant feeling, "Oh look, the squib's got a remembrall!"
Neville turned around to see Malfoy and his goons laughing at him, the blond ponce made a grab for the sphere in his hand when mild-mannered Neville Longbottom reacted. The entire episode lasted mere seconds but the changes it brought would have far reaching effects.
As Malfoy attempted to grab the remembrall, Neville closed his hand over it, tightly trapping the Slytherin's meticulously manicured fingers. A panicking Draco used is other hand to reach for his wand, leaving Neville only one option.
He used Draco's trapped hand to pull him forward before using his other hand to put his fist forcibly and squarely into the posturing peacock's face. Neville liked the sound it made so pulled Malfoy back and punched him again. The heir to the Malfoy fortune had never been physically struck in his life and had no idea how to deal with it, Draco continued to try to free his wand as Neville pounded on him again and again.
And this is better than just telling McGonagall because...?
Crabbe and Goyle began to move when the first punch was thrown, unfortunately for them Neville's Gryffindor year-mates moved quicker. Lavender Brown smacked Vincent in the face with the plate containing her half-eaten breakfast,
Oh, so girls can defend themselves in this author's universe. Too bad nobody told Hermione when she was facing a shit wizard in Chapter 1, isn't it?
Snape was there with his wand drawn and looking for Gryffindor blood, fortunately for the lions, the leader of the pride was right behind him.
"Professor Snape, put your wand away immediately. These are children in our care, simply trying to have their breakfast in peace. There will be no foolish wand-waving here."
Snape was not for backing down, his godson was lying on the floor bleeding and he wanted retribution. "Three members of my house have been subjected to a vicious and brutal attack, the perpetrators should be at least expelled."
At least? What the fuck more can Hogwarts do than expel someone?
Lavender took a deep, calming breath before answering, "Well professor, you told us our house would be our family while we were in Hogwarts. I saw someone attacking a member of my family so did what I could to help. Surely you don't expect us to sit here and watch three people attack a member of our family without helping?"
The head of Gryffindor wanted to give her cub house points for an answer like that but her sense of fair play just wouldn't allow it, she was loath to punish them though so stole a page out of Severus's book. "While I admire your spirit Miss Brown I'm afraid the rules state you should have let a professor deal with the situation.
Like, you know, in canon.
She could see the crestfallen looks on the Gryffindor's faces so gave them a less than subtle hint of what would really be happening. "Please don't stuff yourselves at dinner as I will ask the house elves to supply us with some cakes and refreshments for our discussion."
Though with everything else in this fic being about as subtle as a battleship, how this hint actually managed to register as less than subtle is anyone's guess. Also, you'd think McGonagall wouldn't take so kindly to members of her house brawling in public.
Albus hadn't seen the incident that triggered this or any of the by-play, his entire concentration was absorbed by the newspaper in front of him. The vilifying of Albus Dumbledore was as brutal as it was truthful.
Black was a free man, Umbridge was dead and now everyone knew what had transpired that fateful night. Apparently the only thing Albus Dumbledore wasn't being blamed for was the Chudley Cannons loosing again.
The real problem though was that the story was the truth, Albus had a lifelong aversion to people learning the truth but was powerless to fight this.
He had taken baby Harry away and left him on a doorstep, against the child's parents express wishes. He had then never once returned to see how the boy was being treated.
And somehow managed to keep the location of the Boy Who Lived secret from the Ministry for ten years.
He had left Sirius Black in Azkaban when he had the power to grant him a trial, or even visit the prison himself.
Yes, because nobody could possibly object to the Headmaster of Hogwarts intervening in the Ministry's affairs.
He was the headmaster who sat and took no action as Molly Weasley tried to attack one of his students.
Exactly what kind of threat was she meant to pose, anyway? And you can't just go listing things you made up alongside the things you didn't like about canon as though they're equally valid in forming your opinion of a character, because they're not.
He was the person who erected the duelling wards that didn't take into account someone bouncing off them and finding themselves getting up close and personal with a dementor.
The author can't seem to decide whether it's a good thing or a bad thing that Umbridge found herself on the wrong end of the Dementor's Kiss, and the inconsistent viewpoint and characterisation of everyone in the story doesn't help. Anyway, back to
Sirius was enjoying his breakfast when Harry spoiled his appetite, "Sirius, we understand why you hate the place but we need to go to Grimmauld today."
He placed his cutlery on the plate just as Hermione offered him an explanation that was as shocking as anything he heard yesterday. "There is something there that your brother stole from Voldemort in order that the evil bastard could be killed. Regulus was fighting for the right side when he died."
Sirius was speechless and fighting back the tears so Harry continued, "He created horcruxes Sirius, when Regulus discovered this he gave his life to remove the item from where Voldemort had secured it. Kreacher has been faithfully guarding the necklace but was unable to destroy it, the goblins have already agreed to do the deed so we need to get the necklace to Gringotts."
On the one hand I appreciate the author not trying to explain what Horcruxes are when we've all read the books. On the other, considering they're the darkest and most secret area of magic, we're making quite the assumption that Sirius even knows what they are and an even bigger one that he's familiar with the idea of making more than one.
Sirius never took his eyes of his godson, the love he felt for this boy knew no bounds.
His love is like a lovely river of loving.
"Yesterday you gave me back my freedom and today you give me back my brother. I have been made welcome by this wonderful family and you'll have to excuse my tears, having nothing to feel happy about for so long has left me struggling to deal with these strange emotions. I just want to say thank you to everyone and Dan I'd love some company when getting blinding drunk tonight."
Dan squeezed his shoulder, "Harry and I tied one on a couple of times in Australia and felt better for it, especially as Hermione can brew the hangover cure. We're going to have to wait a few years before he can join us but just don't play him at pool for drinks, I was up and down to the bar all night."
This brought a chuckle to everyone, Hermione had loved watching her dad and Harry head off down the pub together. This also gave the Granger girls time to sit back on the porch with some chilled wine and chat, usually about their two men in the pub. Even though they weren't a couple in the romantic sense then, the hope of this being achieved someday was what had kept Hermione going.
Wait, what? Since when were they not a couple in the romantic sense when they were swanning around Australia letting wizarding Britain go to hell in a basket? We cut to the Weasleys, who all blame Molly for their plight because the author's got it in for her for some reason.
His wife was an opinionated woman, her greatest fault though was in thinking that everyone wanted, no needed to hear her opinion on everything. At the heart of the problem was the fact that she thought she was entitled to grab the Potter boy and give him a piece of her mind. That the boy's wife had objected and the couple had then put forward charges was them being 'bloody minded' as far as Molly was concerned.
This is presented as being self-evidently wrong, but I don't see it. Why do they have to leave the Burrow? Because Harry and Hermione are knocking it down to put up a McMansion. No, really:
Emma had been amazed at the magical blueprints for their new house, if they wanted to alter the size or layout of a room then one of the kids just used their wand to pull a wall to exactly where they thought it should be. This gave them unlimited options and was a lot of fun though Hermione kept trying to make the library bigger, it would seem some things never change. The magical world might not have computers but this was as close to a design program as to make no difference.
They wanted the house to be a combination of magical and mundane, there would be electricity and phone lines while the water and drainage would be provided by runes. The kitchen would have all modern appliances but with liberal use of self-cleaning charms to make the devices really labour saving.
With the plans at a stage where the family were all happy with them, the magical builder was then talking weeks to have it completed, and apologising because their mixture of specifications would make him take that long.
Emma's first sight of the burrow left her totally confused, this was a beautiful setting in Devon yet the building jutted up into the air like something a four-year-old would build using Lego. They had all this land yet had made the rickety structure at least four stories high, Emma could see no sense to it.
Fuck you. The Burrow is ten times cooler than the Château de Sue can ever hope to be.
As the contractors started tearing the building down she noticed Harry had Hermione held tightly in is arms, comfortingly whispering in her ear as she watched a place they had once loved raised to the ground.
For all the author tells us how awesome and badass ITWATN!Hermione is, he does a lousy job of showing us as once again she's the one who needs comforting by big strong Harry. Blech. Anyway, Luna shows up. No, she doesn't escape this shitfest. They've already turned Neville into a thug with their meddling, so goodness only knows what they've got in mind for poor Luna.
Luna was half-expecting to be shouted at and told to 'get lost!' this was a surprising, yet very welcome change. "No I live with my father at the Rookery, we'll be your nearest neighbours. My name is Luna Lovegood, some people call me loony."
Hermione intended to nip that in the bud, "Not while we're around they won't, Luna is a beautiful name. My name is Hermione and this is my husband Harry, we're the Potters."
Luna's eyes focused at this, the Potters were both pleased that they didn't immediately shoot straight to Harry's scar though. "My friend Ginny told me she met you two." On seeing the expressions on both the Potter's faces, Luna thought she needed to clarify what she meant. "Ginny was very impressed with you Hermione, she described in great detail how you protected Harry from her mother and brothers."
And hexing a bunch of unarmed people from whom nobody was in the slightest danger does not count as "protecting" anyone.
She hung her head down, "Ronald is the one who calls me loony."
Of course he is. Ron is the source of everything that's wrong with the Potterverse. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if Voldemort himself was revealed to be time-travelling Ron in disguise, who also turns out to be Grindelwald, Umbridge and all three of the Dursleys.
Harry and Hermione may have returned with hardened attitudes and a wide streak of ruthlessness but they were in no danger of turning dark.
Bullshit.