Hogwarts Too Exposed Chapter 7 part 2
In which the Mirror of Ytidun returns, and we all wish it hadn't.
“I’m glad I caught you by yourself,” Jamie said to Hermione as she entered the family’s quarters. “I wanted to give you that dress in case you choose to wear it Saturday night.”
I can only guess that it's still Thursday afternoon because she's not saying "tomorrow", but with this author's approach to continuity it could be the previous Monday morning for all we know.
Hermione followed Jamie as the girl went to her closet.
This reads, as ever, as though there are three people in the scene.
“Oh! It’s pretty,” Hermione exclaimed as Jamie took it out of the closet and held it in front of herself. “And it’s only three or four inches above your knees. Are you turning conservative on us? I think I could wear this without a problem, but I don’t understand why you think it will drive Harry crazy.
We have to wait for a description of this wonderful dress until they've talked about it for a while. Probably because actually showing us what the characters see gets in the way of the author's artistic vision.
Jamie held the dress as Hermione slipped out of her robes and dress.
So she wears a dress and a robe. I'm no expert on fashion, wizarding or otherwise, but I'm not convinced. The best I can say is that it's not as bad as some of the wizards at the Quidditch World Cup in Goblet of Fire and probably could be made to work.
“It fits perfectly,” Hermione said excitedly. “Of course it would. We have the same body shape.
I thought it had been a while since we were last told how alike Jamie and Hermione are.
“If we were back on vacation, I might venture to wear this,” Hermione said sadly. “But I don’t think Hogsmeade is quite ready for this dress.”
More to the point, the Scottish Highlands in September are a bit colder than Cap d'Agde in summer.
“It’s a shame,” Jamie said as she shrugged her shoulders. “The dress is beautiful and you look marvelous in it. It would drive Harry crazy.”
Sod wearing something she's actually comfortable in; all that matters is giving Harry a boner. I hate this fic. Now the dress in question:
The dress was off-white with long sleeves. The top was trimmed with three braided cords. The cords crossed the right shoulder, but on the left side dropped exposing about five inches of arm. It was an off the shoulder look, but actually exposed little of the chest. The cords were above Hermione’s nipples even on the left side. The skirt was opaque, falling at different lengths to give a tattered appearance; in some place it dropped below the knees and in others above. The top of the dress between the cords and the waist was transparent.
... doesn't sound too bad, obvious breast fixation aside, especially by Hogwarts Exposed standards.
Jamie looked at her watch and then said, “I have to be going. Alex will think I got lost. Are we still on for Saturday?”
“Yes!” Hermione said. “I’ll show you the place I have in mind after breakfast and then we’ll visit Madam Pomfrey.”
Jamie looked uncomfortably at Hermione. She was not enthusiastic about sharing her plans with Madam Pomfrey, but Hermione had said it was a necessary precaution.
This is about the "joining", of course. Apparently HE!Snape is fine with students openly screwing in his school with the full knowledge of his staff. I know he's a pushover with no trace of his canon self left, but this is ridiculous even for that. It doesn't matter, contrary to the author's inevitable justification, that they're old enough. This is a matter of school discipline, and the staff actively encouraging two sixth-formers to have it off on school property is not conducive to that.
As Jamie hurried off, Hermione stared glumly at herself in the mirror.
No, there wasn't a paragraph break with this POV shift. Is anyone surprised?
“If my opinion counts for anything, I think you look striking,” the mirror announced.
Yes, it's the return of the Mirror of Ytidun. And if you thought it overstepped its remit before, you've seen nothing yet.
“Of course your opinion matters,” Hermione said. “I value your thoughts on an issue greatly. It’s just that I could never wear this as it is.”
“May I then suggest a shawl?” The mirror suggested. “It would cover the offending area, but you could easily remove it if you liked in order to taunt Mr. Potter.”
Or if, you know, she felt more comfortable that way.
“I sense that you have a more grave matter on your mind than that dress,” the mirror observed.
“I’m worried about Emily,” Hermione confessed. “I’d feel much better about her future if she were in Gryffindor.”
“The young Miss Zacherley’s future is conditional on more significant events than the house in which she resides. However, had she not ridden the Hogwarts Express, she would have without a doubt ended up in Gryffindor. Only once she boarded that train was she faced with choices.”
Quite apart from anything else, and there's a lot of "else", why does a magic mirror intended to give fashion advice even have the seeing the past and the future thing going on at all? Let alone for people who aren't even standing in front of the mirror, which would be like Harry looking into the Mirror of Erised and seeing Ron's vision of himself as Head Boy. We saw a bit of this in Exposed with the mirror talking about how Caitlin was saved by the camp attendant taking a wrong turn, but at least she in was there in the room with it.
Hermione was horror-stricken. “She didn’t want to ride the train. I practically forced her to take it. It’s my fault she’s in Slytherin.”
“It is not your fault,” the mirror said intensely.
I'd like to know how a talking mirror can say something intensely.
“Humans make choices in life. Some of those choices have obvious consequences; others put events into play that are not so apparent. You can no more take blame for Emily ending up in Slytherin, than you can take credit for her saving Miss Thatcher’s life.
“Emily saved Kim’s life? When? How?” Hermione inquired, animatedly.
“Fifteen minutes ago, but not in a direct sense. Had it not been for Emily being in Slytherin and helping Kim through some bumpy times, she would have been taunted unmercifully by her dorm mates and attempted suicide once again. Only this time she would have succeeded.”
... wait, fucking what now? There's so much wrong with this, as I said in the comments last time, but let's start with the fact that a fluffy scene about Hermione being unsure what dress to wear has just taken a hard left into child suicide. Why would anyone think this was a good idea? That's not all, however. Denise has been established by this point as a bumbling idiot who it's impossible to take seriously, so I find it hard to take the mirror's word for it that she's even capable of such evil. But even if we assume that she is, then the Sorting Hat would have sensed it in her and would have been unlikely to put Kim (Sorted after Denise, remember) in the same house if it sensed that she'd be susceptible. After all, it had no way of knowing that Emily would be around to save the day because she was the last person it Sorted! It all seems to add up to a convoluted justification for Emily being right to abandon her family, and doesn't do justice to the very real issues of bullying and suicide in schools. Yes, I call bullshit.
“Again?”
“Kim is a very forlorn child. I learned this when she looked into me the other day.
Not that we were actually shown this from her POV. We just get told after the fact.
Outside of her mother, Kim has never had someone she could truly call a friend. Lately, Kim’s mother has been too preoccupied with the abusive treatment she receives from her husband to be there for Kim. She is unaware that her husband has also become abusive to her daughter.”
Because the author hadn't done quite enough to make Kim's life miserable yet. Might as well throw in domestic violence and child abuse while we're at it. And this makes absolutely no sense in the context of Kim wanting to return to the Muggle world.
“He hasn’t…?” The words stuck in Hermione’s throat.
‘No!” The mirror responded, guessing Hermione’s question.
That's at least something. And I don't think we needed to be told that the mirror guessed Hermione's question, or it wouldn't have been able to give that answer.
“But it was just a matter of time, had she remained in that house. Although a person’s future holds infinite possibilities, most of Kim’s ended with an early death until Emily entered her life.”
I thought this chapter was going too well. The author has actually gone and given a character the childhood from hell for no other reason, apparently, than to big up one of his other characters. This is just plain insulting to everyone involved. To Kim, for dropping all this on her, not even bothering to explore any of it from her own POV and then resolving it with what amounts to a deus ex machina. To Emily, much as I can't stand her, for trying to manipulate the reader into liking her rather than making her actually likeable to begin with. To the readers, for all that. And, of course, to anyone who's actually dealt with these issues in real life for exploiting them as a cheap plot device.
“Had I known that not taking the train would have resulted in Emily being in Gryffindor, I probably would have shopped in Hogsmeade and by doing so caused Kim death,” Hermione said, the revelation horrifying her.
Or, you know, something else might have come out of nowhere and changed things in a different way. The author has already proven that his universe is no stranger to the deus ex machina, after all.
“That is why it is best that humans not know what the future domino effect of their actions will be. A person could go crazy worrying about the upshot of their every action.”
Which is why the mirror takes the opportunity to expospeak possible futures to people at every opportunity, even when they're only trying on clothes. Or trying off clothes, as the case may be.
“I’m glad I caught you by yourself,” Jamie said to Hermione as she entered the family’s quarters. “I wanted to give you that dress in case you choose to wear it Saturday night.”
I can only guess that it's still Thursday afternoon because she's not saying "tomorrow", but with this author's approach to continuity it could be the previous Monday morning for all we know.
Hermione followed Jamie as the girl went to her closet.
This reads, as ever, as though there are three people in the scene.
“Oh! It’s pretty,” Hermione exclaimed as Jamie took it out of the closet and held it in front of herself. “And it’s only three or four inches above your knees. Are you turning conservative on us? I think I could wear this without a problem, but I don’t understand why you think it will drive Harry crazy.
We have to wait for a description of this wonderful dress until they've talked about it for a while. Probably because actually showing us what the characters see gets in the way of the author's artistic vision.
Jamie held the dress as Hermione slipped out of her robes and dress.
So she wears a dress and a robe. I'm no expert on fashion, wizarding or otherwise, but I'm not convinced. The best I can say is that it's not as bad as some of the wizards at the Quidditch World Cup in Goblet of Fire and probably could be made to work.
“It fits perfectly,” Hermione said excitedly. “Of course it would. We have the same body shape.
I thought it had been a while since we were last told how alike Jamie and Hermione are.
“If we were back on vacation, I might venture to wear this,” Hermione said sadly. “But I don’t think Hogsmeade is quite ready for this dress.”
More to the point, the Scottish Highlands in September are a bit colder than Cap d'Agde in summer.
“It’s a shame,” Jamie said as she shrugged her shoulders. “The dress is beautiful and you look marvelous in it. It would drive Harry crazy.”
Sod wearing something she's actually comfortable in; all that matters is giving Harry a boner. I hate this fic. Now the dress in question:
The dress was off-white with long sleeves. The top was trimmed with three braided cords. The cords crossed the right shoulder, but on the left side dropped exposing about five inches of arm. It was an off the shoulder look, but actually exposed little of the chest. The cords were above Hermione’s nipples even on the left side. The skirt was opaque, falling at different lengths to give a tattered appearance; in some place it dropped below the knees and in others above. The top of the dress between the cords and the waist was transparent.
... doesn't sound too bad, obvious breast fixation aside, especially by Hogwarts Exposed standards.
Jamie looked at her watch and then said, “I have to be going. Alex will think I got lost. Are we still on for Saturday?”
“Yes!” Hermione said. “I’ll show you the place I have in mind after breakfast and then we’ll visit Madam Pomfrey.”
Jamie looked uncomfortably at Hermione. She was not enthusiastic about sharing her plans with Madam Pomfrey, but Hermione had said it was a necessary precaution.
This is about the "joining", of course. Apparently HE!Snape is fine with students openly screwing in his school with the full knowledge of his staff. I know he's a pushover with no trace of his canon self left, but this is ridiculous even for that. It doesn't matter, contrary to the author's inevitable justification, that they're old enough. This is a matter of school discipline, and the staff actively encouraging two sixth-formers to have it off on school property is not conducive to that.
As Jamie hurried off, Hermione stared glumly at herself in the mirror.
No, there wasn't a paragraph break with this POV shift. Is anyone surprised?
“If my opinion counts for anything, I think you look striking,” the mirror announced.
Yes, it's the return of the Mirror of Ytidun. And if you thought it overstepped its remit before, you've seen nothing yet.
“Of course your opinion matters,” Hermione said. “I value your thoughts on an issue greatly. It’s just that I could never wear this as it is.”
“May I then suggest a shawl?” The mirror suggested. “It would cover the offending area, but you could easily remove it if you liked in order to taunt Mr. Potter.”
Or if, you know, she felt more comfortable that way.
“I sense that you have a more grave matter on your mind than that dress,” the mirror observed.
“I’m worried about Emily,” Hermione confessed. “I’d feel much better about her future if she were in Gryffindor.”
“The young Miss Zacherley’s future is conditional on more significant events than the house in which she resides. However, had she not ridden the Hogwarts Express, she would have without a doubt ended up in Gryffindor. Only once she boarded that train was she faced with choices.”
Quite apart from anything else, and there's a lot of "else", why does a magic mirror intended to give fashion advice even have the seeing the past and the future thing going on at all? Let alone for people who aren't even standing in front of the mirror, which would be like Harry looking into the Mirror of Erised and seeing Ron's vision of himself as Head Boy. We saw a bit of this in Exposed with the mirror talking about how Caitlin was saved by the camp attendant taking a wrong turn, but at least she in was there in the room with it.
Hermione was horror-stricken. “She didn’t want to ride the train. I practically forced her to take it. It’s my fault she’s in Slytherin.”
“It is not your fault,” the mirror said intensely.
I'd like to know how a talking mirror can say something intensely.
“Humans make choices in life. Some of those choices have obvious consequences; others put events into play that are not so apparent. You can no more take blame for Emily ending up in Slytherin, than you can take credit for her saving Miss Thatcher’s life.
“Emily saved Kim’s life? When? How?” Hermione inquired, animatedly.
“Fifteen minutes ago, but not in a direct sense. Had it not been for Emily being in Slytherin and helping Kim through some bumpy times, she would have been taunted unmercifully by her dorm mates and attempted suicide once again. Only this time she would have succeeded.”
... wait, fucking what now? There's so much wrong with this, as I said in the comments last time, but let's start with the fact that a fluffy scene about Hermione being unsure what dress to wear has just taken a hard left into child suicide. Why would anyone think this was a good idea? That's not all, however. Denise has been established by this point as a bumbling idiot who it's impossible to take seriously, so I find it hard to take the mirror's word for it that she's even capable of such evil. But even if we assume that she is, then the Sorting Hat would have sensed it in her and would have been unlikely to put Kim (Sorted after Denise, remember) in the same house if it sensed that she'd be susceptible. After all, it had no way of knowing that Emily would be around to save the day because she was the last person it Sorted! It all seems to add up to a convoluted justification for Emily being right to abandon her family, and doesn't do justice to the very real issues of bullying and suicide in schools. Yes, I call bullshit.
“Again?”
“Kim is a very forlorn child. I learned this when she looked into me the other day.
Not that we were actually shown this from her POV. We just get told after the fact.
Outside of her mother, Kim has never had someone she could truly call a friend. Lately, Kim’s mother has been too preoccupied with the abusive treatment she receives from her husband to be there for Kim. She is unaware that her husband has also become abusive to her daughter.”
Because the author hadn't done quite enough to make Kim's life miserable yet. Might as well throw in domestic violence and child abuse while we're at it. And this makes absolutely no sense in the context of Kim wanting to return to the Muggle world.
“He hasn’t…?” The words stuck in Hermione’s throat.
‘No!” The mirror responded, guessing Hermione’s question.
That's at least something. And I don't think we needed to be told that the mirror guessed Hermione's question, or it wouldn't have been able to give that answer.
“But it was just a matter of time, had she remained in that house. Although a person’s future holds infinite possibilities, most of Kim’s ended with an early death until Emily entered her life.”
I thought this chapter was going too well. The author has actually gone and given a character the childhood from hell for no other reason, apparently, than to big up one of his other characters. This is just plain insulting to everyone involved. To Kim, for dropping all this on her, not even bothering to explore any of it from her own POV and then resolving it with what amounts to a deus ex machina. To Emily, much as I can't stand her, for trying to manipulate the reader into liking her rather than making her actually likeable to begin with. To the readers, for all that. And, of course, to anyone who's actually dealt with these issues in real life for exploiting them as a cheap plot device.
“Had I known that not taking the train would have resulted in Emily being in Gryffindor, I probably would have shopped in Hogsmeade and by doing so caused Kim death,” Hermione said, the revelation horrifying her.
Or, you know, something else might have come out of nowhere and changed things in a different way. The author has already proven that his universe is no stranger to the deus ex machina, after all.
“That is why it is best that humans not know what the future domino effect of their actions will be. A person could go crazy worrying about the upshot of their every action.”
Which is why the mirror takes the opportunity to expospeak possible futures to people at every opportunity, even when they're only trying on clothes. Or trying off clothes, as the case may be.